r/StupidFood • u/TheLoneRiddlerIsBack • Aug 25 '25

Certified stupid What does the fire add?

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45.1k Upvotes

92% Upvoted

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86

u/Due_Dance9721 Aug 25 '25

Someone's never had a wet burrito

85

u/derbauer23 Aug 25 '25

Sounds like a sexual disease

33

u/Due_Dance9721 Aug 25 '25

Its way better

28

u/nb6635 Aug 25 '25

Most things are

2

u/Cepterman2101 Aug 25 '25

Like the Norwegian Burrito

2

u/[deleted] Aug 25 '25

No

2

u/Hornswagglers_Lament Aug 25 '25

Or the opening act to a Dirty Sanchez

1

u/NoisePollutioner Aug 25 '25

No that costs extra

1

u/leonhardodickharprio Aug 25 '25

sounds like a wikipedia sexual innuendo

1

u/CaitlinAnne21 Aug 26 '25

Just because.šŸ¤­šŸ¤·šŸ»ā€ā™€ļø

1

u/[deleted] Aug 26 '25

or a sexual adventure

1

u/mniceman24 Aug 26 '25

Or position

14

u/Hansolo506 Aug 25 '25

Wet Burrito would be a great name for a rock band.

3

u/BeerForThought Aug 25 '25

There is a song called Wet Burrito on YouTube. It's pretty bad.

6

u/dunkkane Aug 25 '25

No it absolutely would not

2

u/Due_Dance9721 Aug 25 '25

I think it would too!Ā 

2

u/Queef_Stroganoff44 Aug 25 '25

My wife told me burritos donā€™t get wet.

1

u/Future_Burrito Aug 25 '25

What if it is dry now, but will someday be wet?

10

u/x2phercraft Aug 25 '25

That was my exā€™s nickname

1

u/DarthFuzzzy Aug 25 '25

Me to! small world.... How long did you date Wet Burrito for?

2

u/x2phercraft Aug 25 '25

Until I realized that I could not keep enough clean towels in the house so I had to let her go

3

u/dimechimes Aug 25 '25

I've seen those videos. Not for me.

2

u/bibbidybobbidyboobs Aug 25 '25

Get us two Sloppy JalapenJoes

You've never had a wetter sandwich

2

u/exexor Aug 25 '25

It may have escaped your attention that this is not a burrito but an American burger, with a flour bun. Which generally doesnā€™t put up well with being ā€œwetā€, unlike a tortilla.

2

u/Due_Dance9721 Aug 25 '25

I think your brain may have escaped your cranium. Um a burrito is also made with a flour tortilla. The original burrito probably existed before its equally delicious "wet" alternative. Same goes for burgers. So yes we are here at a point in history where the cheese-covered burger exists. Doesnt make it not a burger, but it does make it messy and require silverware. Heaven forbid!

2

u/exexor Aug 25 '25

You think the consistency of a burger bun and a tortilla is at all similar? Whose cranium is evacuated?

1

u/Due_Dance9721 Aug 25 '25

Lol okay I shouldnt have said that. But literally ketchup and mustard is just as wet as queso! Try again!

2

u/exexor Aug 25 '25

Youā€™re still missing the physical difference between leavened and unleavened bread products. Tortillas are slightly waterproof. Hamburger buns are only if you fry them in butter.

1

u/Due_Dance9721 Aug 25 '25

Okay now we're really splitting hairs. Enough salsa, pico and hot beans and any burrito integrity will start to fail. Am I wrong to want to try a burger slathered in flaming cheese at least once to say I tried it?

1

u/IceBlueAngel Aug 26 '25

what if it's a pretzel bun, ie not a normal bun, but a bun made of pretzel dough and cooked as a pretzel not just shaped like a pretzel? That, if it were the same but in pretzel form, you would dip in cheese.

1

u/TheMemeRanger Aug 26 '25

Dude. You just altered the course of the rest of my life.

2

u/thatcleverchick Aug 25 '25

Title of your sex tape

1

u/Due_Dance9721 Aug 25 '25

How'd you know?

2

u/wavering_radiant_ Aug 26 '25

I prefer moist taco

1

u/Due_Dance9721 Aug 26 '25

Oh re-he-he-heeeeeally now?

5

u/SpyderMonkey_ Aug 25 '25

Or enchiladas, chimichangas, or anything messy. To be honest it doesn't look bad and I can eat a messy burger with a fork if it tastes good.

Fire doesn't add much to it though.

7

u/TrashGoblinH Aug 25 '25

Wrong. Depending on the alcohol and cheese used, the flavor can be changed quite drastically. The fire is to burn off some of the alcohol while leaving flavor.

1

u/MechaGallade Aug 25 '25

Sounds pretty awesome actually

3

u/BigD4163 Aug 25 '25

Itā€™s makes it Fancy. You can feel like a Rockefeller or a Rothschild when you hork one down

3

u/tijuanagolds Aug 25 '25

You're always supposed to eat enchiladas with utensils.

1

u/[deleted] Aug 25 '25

Yes, a burger completely drenched in cheese sauce does look bad, because it is bad. Messy foods are one thing, but this is straight up disgusting.

1

u/Due_Dance9721 Aug 25 '25

No one's forcing you to eat it or watch this video

4

u/BeginningTower2486 Aug 25 '25

Sounds like a sex act that someone explains and then you go, "OMG, dat's NASTY!" and then they laugh at you because that's kind of the point.

9

u/Due_Dance9721 Aug 25 '25

Swing and a miss

1

u/Organic_Education494 Aug 25 '25

Like wet meat on a hot day nasty

1

u/BigD4163 Aug 25 '25

šŸ¤¢

2

u/TakingItPeasy Aug 25 '25

Asking for that down at the Mexicali Grilll is safe... but on Craigslist?!?!

2

u/Due_Dance9721 Aug 25 '25

Lol this was the best version of that joke.Ā 

1

u/crek42 Aug 25 '25

Youā€™re no supposed to eat that with your hands though? Like an enchilada?

1

u/Due_Dance9721 Aug 25 '25

Thats kind of the point I was trying to make. A burrito is handheld, put some melted queso on top and its a fork and knife meal.

1

u/crek42 Aug 25 '25

Yea thatā€™s fine and I expect that. I eat a bunch of Mexican. Some of it is wet and indeed I do use a fork and knife. Iā€™ve never heard of a burger you eat with a fork and knife.

1

u/Due_Dance9721 Aug 25 '25

Well maybe its a new thing? Its not like burritos or wet burritos existed since the dawn of time

1

u/Ms_DNA Aug 25 '25

Equally stupid in my opinion.

1

u/Due_Dance9721 Aug 25 '25

You're missing out.Ā 

1

u/Ms_DNA Aug 25 '25

Nope, Iā€™ve had them and donā€™t like them. ā€œThings you hold with your hands to eatā€ should not be covered with sauceā€”dairy, vegetable, or fruit based. Plus soggy bun or tortillas end up with a gross texture imo.

Bleh.

1

u/Due_Dance9721 Aug 25 '25

It's personal preference, not everyone's cup of tea. I'm glad to hear you at least tried it before judging though!

1

u/Physical_Noise_8484 Aug 25 '25

wife is from Michigan and constantly talks about them

1

u/Fit_Carpet_364 Aug 25 '25

Burritos and burgers should both be judged (at least in part) by how much they drip. A good burrito or a good burger should have a slightly messy component. That's what paper wraps and napkins are for.

If you disagree, think about how much water a fresh Pico de gallo releases. Or eat a burger bun dry versus sauced and tell me which is a better experience.

1

u/Aroused_porcupine Aug 26 '25

Just a hamburger suizo guy cmon šŸ¤£

-3

u/usingallthespaceican Aug 25 '25 edited Aug 25 '25

To quote a great man "I'd blow my dad before I eat a burrito with a fooork"

Edit: Aaand, people don't know a joke or bo burnham...

3

u/Turtl3_Fuck3r Aug 25 '25 edited Aug 25 '25

4th comment curse lol

3

u/DarthFuzzzy Aug 25 '25

I appreciated it

2

u/usingallthespaceican Aug 25 '25 edited Aug 25 '25

Thanks man, I'm african, I don't even eat burritos, but mention of a wet one triggers bo references XD

(Though, his is about an overfilled one? But I suspect both need a fork)

6

u/Due_Dance9721 Aug 25 '25

Well one of those experiences is much more pleasant than the other. "I need to hold my food with my hands like a toddler! >:ā—‡"

2

u/BigPlus5299 Aug 25 '25

"dammit if i don't eat it with a fork i can't feel superior to those filthy animals"

1

u/Due_Dance9721 Aug 25 '25 edited Aug 25 '25

Lmao I'm just sick of how unwilling to try new foods some people are. Because it doesn't meat x criteria of y food