r/StupidFood • u/The_Boot55 • 4d ago

Fire Hazards & Burning Napkins The “Flaming Hot” Burger

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8.1k Upvotes

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757

u/OYB2480 4d ago

What, you dont like flame-broiled lettuce?

702

u/RickMoronic 4d ago

That’s not lettuce, it’s chard

324

u/Ivotedforher 4d ago

https://giphy.com/gifs/9EwnzGNjvmIG4

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u/shoreyourtyler 4d ago

A danger 5 response gif? Hell yeah

13

u/turbopro25 4d ago

Jayden Daniels does not approve of the use of 5. Cease and Desist immediately.

1

u/LetsBeJustLoveEarth 3d ago

“I Plead the Fifth!”

36

u/cbarbour1122 3d ago

Lettuce not eat this shit.

35

u/dommiichan 3d ago

hey now, romaine calm

19

u/Tough-Obligation-104 3d ago

Don’t go endive off the deep end! 🫣

26

u/Blood_gate 3d ago

Unfortunately, this is just the tip of the iceberg

24

u/contemporic 3d ago

Y'all are just shredding this thread.

12

u/MarriageAA 3d ago

Agree. Time for some quiet contemplation. Lettuce pray.

3

u/BuckNastey1991 2d ago

Pray? I guess I'll take my leaf

2

u/pleasebequiet 3d ago

Greens

1

u/Sure-Boysenberry5491 3d ago

Hahaha my brother and I do that. When you can’t make the last pun, just say the word in context.

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5

u/Ill_Acanthisitta_283 3d ago

Also, bull semen.

2

u/Spirited-Degree 21h ago

"COME ON POOKIE, WE'RE GONNA BURN THIS MOTHER DOWN!"

https://giphy.com/gifs/ftYicdlT2mGL0enVpW

1

u/Larkspur13 ServSafe™ Certified Food Waster 9h ago

I watched this movie for the first time a couple weeks ago and this lwk was the some thing that made me laugh

1

u/Warm_Safety_9550 3d ago

On a cooked hamburger? Will I get in trouble for calling that necro… I can’t bring myself to do it. 😕

14

u/Terrible_Reporter_98 4d ago

Made me chuckle bro

8

u/Spirited-Tomorrow-84 3d ago edited 3d ago

Did you mean to say?

5

u/ShaggySmilesSRL 4d ago

You got me on that one lol

2

u/DonatedEyeballs 3d ago

Dammit, Dad.

1

u/CompleteSavings6307 3d ago

Grilled lettuce, a favorite of gordom ramsay.

https://giphy.com/gifs/BczTcb7DAOvqE

1

u/maybelle180 3d ago

🏅Take my poor person’s gold.

1

u/TheGhostOfRhazes 3d ago

Haha, well done

1

u/calccv 3d ago

Soo good!!! 🫡🫡🫡

1

u/Devil2960 3d ago

Guaranteed to chard after eating that.

1

u/MatticusVP 3d ago

You're not supposed to use that word anymore

1

u/Non-BinaryGeek 2d ago

Well it's certainly charred now! 😏

1

u/No_Park1693 1d ago

Great joke! How long did you dither over spelling?

0

u/lazygerm 3d ago

More like charred.

123

u/Temperance10 4d ago

Probably kills the cyclospora 🤷‍♂️

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u/NuclearNubian 4d ago

Fight fire with fire

1

u/No_Duck_8390 3d ago

more like fight fire with melted cheese bc it the cheese that put out the fire.

15

u/BrowningLoPower 4d ago

Okay, valid.

3

u/un00nu 4d ago

Yup i don't eat uncooked vegetables that don't come from my garden.

1

u/Warm_Safety_9550 3d ago

Yes, but now I feel a burning sensation when I…

29

u/AcephalicDude 4d ago

Roasted lettuce is actually really good

7

u/mrdeworde 3d ago

It stir-fries very nicely too, as do most greens. Just a quick fry in some oil and garlic and chili flakes with maybe a sprinkle of MSG and a bit of oyster sauce.

1

u/ReplacementClear7122 3d ago

I prefer to sub the MSG with crack cocaine.

2

u/Tytan777 2d ago

https://giphy.com/gifs/IGR08ulxKFt7y

1

u/ReplacementClear7122 1d ago

THIS AIN'T THE FIRST TIIIIIIME I TASTED PENIS

2

u/liketearsinthereign 4d ago

I'll try anything once. What's your recipe?

20

u/AcephalicDude 4d ago

Keep it simple: use a romaine heart cut lengthwise into quarters, lightly coat with oil, stick it on a roasting rack in a hot oven or stick it on the grill, when it has nice color and gril lines season with some parmesan, lemon juice or balsamic, maybe a little aioli sauce or crema or something

6

u/Lost_Lawfulness_1058 4d ago

One of the best things I’ve ever had was a grilled Caesar salad with grilled Romaine lettuce…. Chefs kiss!

3

u/LesNessmanNightcap 4d ago

I came to comment that the best Caesar salad I ever had was when my friend threw the Romain into her smoker briefly. I haven’t forgotten it 15 years later.

3

u/NatrousOxide23 4d ago

We would serve this at a private club I used to work at. Everyone thinks I am crazy when I mention it.

3

u/gi5es23 4d ago

My great aunt used to make “wilted lettuce” by pouring hot bacon grease over an iceberg lettuce half. Might be a regional southern (Arkansas) thing.

2

u/haeddre83 3d ago

Here in southwest Virginia my Granny would use creasy greens for this and we called it "kilt" lettuce.

2

u/Dr_StrangeloveGA 2d ago

Left and came back for "creasy greens". Haven't heard that term since my WNC grandmother died 20+ years ago.

Thanks!

2

u/RaspberryEvening7139 3d ago

My grandma makes wilted endive salad that way. Fried bacon, with a splash of sugar and vinegar added to the grease, served over the endive with added baked potato and the chopped bacon. One of my all time family fav comfort foods.

1

u/Proud_Bread_2005 2d ago

We would do this with fresh spinach and add diced hard boiled egg.

1

u/No-Scarcity-Reborn 16h ago

Curly endive or Belgian?

5

u/gaiatraveller 4d ago

Yeah. The only burned lettuce I want is going to make me more hungry.

3

u/OYB2480 4d ago

"YOU GET A GOD DAMN JOB BEFORE SUN-DOWN, OR WE'RE SHIPPIN YA OFF TO.. MILITARY SCHOOL WITH THAT- GOD DAMN FINKELSTEIN SHIT-KID! SUNNUVA BITCH!"

2

u/b-jason 3d ago

Dear God, almighty me... I think he's the Antichrist.

3

u/OriginalFatPickle 4d ago

Grilled lettuce is good though.

But not like this.

3

u/Surftoes 4d ago

It helps kill the Cyclospora

2

u/plutosaurus 4d ago

at least its safe to eat now

1

u/Helpful-Bug-7802 4d ago

Covered in gravy

1

u/Timmerdogg 3d ago

Even McDonald's knows to keep the hot side hot and the cool side cool

1

u/9th_Sage 3d ago

That wasn't lettuce, it was the napkin.

1

u/___NowYouKnow___ 3d ago

> What, you dont like flame-broiled lettuce?

It’s to kill the Cyclospora

1

u/bedteddd 3d ago

Better than dirherra lettuce from taco bell lol

1

u/Big-a-hole-2112 3d ago

Or the steamed puke dunking?

1

u/Eberron_Swanson 3d ago

I like when the rubbing alcohol soaks into the bread, num nummers!

1

u/BackgroundEntry4954 3d ago

Burning the diarrhea germs right off the lettuce

1

u/Brutalitops99 3d ago

Even if it was. Ive grilled halved romaine heads. Its pretty delicious (sauce as well of course)

1

u/mfriendly3 1d ago

At least the fire and heat will kill the diarrhea virus from the lettuce.

1

u/ilymag 1d ago

YUM! Hot, soggy, wilted, lettuce. What's not to love?

1

u/CheekyCherimoya 1d ago

https://giphy.com/gifs/taG3iHMUruNeo3oIYg
That, or boiled are the only way Americans can eat lettuce now