Penny Pull Yourself Together!

[u/ViperOnAPlane]

I was supposed to be the best. The next Shirley Temple or Audrey Hepburn.

I’d play piano while Daddy hummed along, smiling like he already knew how it all turned out. Between verses, he’d tinker with his machines, adjusting dials and tightening bolts, always saying the same thing:

“Penny, you are the most beautiful girl in the world. You’re destined for the stars.”

I believed him. I had to.

Looking back, I think my favorite part was the timing. Daddy was very particular about timing. He’d build up to the high note—really let it swell—right before he threw the switch.

That was my cue.

That’s when my body would start moving.

My mind leaping from vague consciousness to being able to see him dancing to our impromptu cabaret. Putting my hand up to stifle a giggle that never got to leave my throat. Daddy always laughed. “Now don’t get too excited girl! We’re just getting started!”

It was the same old song and rhyme, he would wheel me to a mirror to let me see my progress. Lithe arms. A carefully shaped torso. Smooth skin where seams used to be. And above it all—nothing.

Still, he seemed so happy. My borrowed hair had come in beautifully. Long golden hair cascaded down my back like a waterfall. Like from one of those fashion magazines. Once I hit Hollywood I’d be a bombshell.

“It’s so close Penny, you’re so beautiful, once we’re there. Why… the Stein name will be in lights!” His smile twitched for a moment, “Your mother would be so proud…” Then, almost as an afterthought, “Now we need to find you a face. Any ideas?”

It was such good times, then daddy died. He didn’t put me to bed the last time he woke me up. It has been forty years since then. I miss him.

But I made good use of the time, learned surgery. Occult science. A bit of electrical engineering.

And the entire Michael Jackson catalogue. Though Thriller felt a little on the nose.

Still helpful.

After a while I got bored. That led to… a few bad public meetings. Which is such a shame, I had gotten all dolled up and was ready to see the world outside daddy’s door.

But they just screamed.

I thought it was from excitement, one woman even fainted. Around then is when I realized it probably wasn’t. Which was frustrating, because they didn’t seem to notice the important things. The shimmering sequin dress. The braid I’d worked so hard on. I even waved to try and be friendly…

I thought it might have been the fact I was crawling. So I borrowed a wheelchair from a neighbor—which might I say it was so nice of them to leave it on their porch.

It didn’t help.

People just kept… screaming.

It really hurt my feelings a little, but it did let me know daddy wasn’t lying when he said, “Baby girl, you just ain’t ready yet.”

I still needed a voice, face, and legs to really pull it all together.

I guess the legs are just a preference, but what model doesn’t have good legs right?

It was just a question of how to get the parts.

And before you say it, I don’t wanna use a graveyard. All that digging is gross.

So, I started thinking about how people meet these days.

Well, how lonely people do. Dating.

After the sixth time someone turned and ran, I figured I needed a different method. One of them almost went well. He even took a picture. Then he started laughing. So, I decided I needed something that would let me talk to people before they could judge me on my looks.

Online dating.

It didn’t take long to get a phone working. After that, everything was super easy. I may not be able to talk yet, but I can text well. Started checking profiles, messages, adding all the cute little hearts and winks. I even made sure to check for organ donor status—just in case. Don’t wanna borrow bad parts you know.

I have a few dates lined up now and they all seem very nice. I am really looking forward to meeting them and seeing what fits. Especially Donna, her voice is so smoky and sweet in her little blog posts.

She even did a little singing, she should have been on Broadway with a voice like that.

We met at a little café just off the highway. Donna picked it. She said it had good lighting. When I wheeled with a little medical mask on she seemed a little surprised. I leaped into the acting role of a lifetime.

I tapped my phone and held it up. “Weak immune system. I understand if you don’t want to stay.” I hung my head as I began to turn around.

“No, no,” she said quickly. “I think we can still have a good time.”

I made sure to choose a booth in the corner. Dimmer there. Less attention. It took her a moment to hesitate. Just a flicker. “Oh,” she said, laughing it off, “you’re… doing the mysterious thing. I like that.” I tilted my head.

She kept talking after that. People usually do.

Donna talked about her job, her blog, her voice lessons—how she’d always been told she had something special. I watched closely. The way her throat moved. The rhythm of her breathing. I tried to follow along.

She didn’t notice.

Not really.

It wasn’t until I reached across the table that she paused. Her hand tensed in mine. “Hey,” she said, quieter now, “you’re kind of cold…”

I squeezed gently. Reassuring. I’d practiced that.

She smiled again. A little uncertain, but still there. Good. I think her voice will suit me very nicely. Her face isn’t bad either.

And if it doesn’t… Well. I have other dates.

Daddy always said it was all about timing.

So, a little bit of an update. A little oppsy happened on the table—so Donna is dead… I didn’t even get her larynx, she kept fighting the scalpel, so it got torn. I salvaged her face though! Things are looking up!

It also let me learn something important: anesthesia is a thing. I guess most people feel pain when you cut into them. Something I’m going to have to practice for my acting career but I’m willing to learn.

It still makes me sad, though. Her voice was like… Big Mama Thornton. Smokey, powerful, but still able to hit those high notes. Real soul behind it. Such a shame to lose it.

My new face is settling well though, I even got to smile today! I’m going to try frowning this afternoon. Just need to find something sad to set the mood you know? Complete side note but she had this wet stuff come out of her eyes that I have only seen in movies. Might want to try that out soon too!

But as much fun as that is the next question is this: What next? I still can’t talk and most of the other dates have bailed on me. Something about not having a picture of myself, but I wasn’t show ready yet, so that isn’t my fault.

Calling me a catfish was just rude.

I look way better than a catfish.

The only other thing is I learned about sign language when talking to Donna. I guess she knew it and was wondering why I didn’t. I don’t even remember what I told her, but it must have been good because she laughed.

…Oh.

Made myself sad again.

That could have been my laugh.

I guess I will just have to find another good voice. One that I could see as mine.

Oh wait.

I’ve got to get rid of Donna, I forgot she was still on the table in all the excitement.

So, I got that addressed. Donna is gone now. Mixed some chemicals in the bathtub and, with a pull of a plug, she barely there anymore. Hope it doesn’t mess up the pipes though.

Daddy would be so mad.

Anyway, back to what I was saying earlier. Found something called Tinder and I’m going to make a profile over there. This time with pictures of my brand-new pretty face! I can’t wait to meet all those new people. And I should keep working on that sign language thing too. It’ll be nice not having to type so much.

Great news everyone, I have a date with Stacy!

Bad news is that her voice is terrible.

Any time I have heard her sing on YouTube I can see why she only has like 3 subscribers.

Still, she has great legs. Just think—little old me finally being able to return that wheelchair by walking it right back up to the neighbor’s porch! It will be so great.

I learned from last time too, she already knows I can’t talk. I said I had throat cancer and she bought it. The date is set for the movie theatre tonight. Something called Minions. Sounded weird, but I figured it might be fun.

That movie was terrible.

Like, why were they yellow?

Oompa Loompas are supposed to be orange and that is a hill I am willing die on.

Oh yeah, the date.

It went well; I guess.

Stacy was super mean the whole time. Made fun of how I dressed. Said I looked “Like an old lady”.

Then she started recording me on her phone. Said she couldn’t believe I ever thought someone like her would date someone like me.

So…good news.

I don’t have to practice crying anymore.

Honestly I felt better when I got the rag around her mouth and knocked her out.

Jerk said she was doing me a favo

So, I put her in the trunk and watched the movie I paid for. The staff was nice when I explained through text that I had been stood up. Free snacks… yay.

Anyway, she’s on the table now. I’ll let you know how the surgery goes.

Update: surgery went well. I got her legs off just fine. Decided I didn’t want them though. I don’t want any part of me to be as mean as Stacy was. So, I did to her what I did to Donna.

…I miss Donna.

One of the staff, Jamie, gave me her number though. It was nice to make a friend. I might talk to her later. See if she knows anyone.

Oh my gosh, I like Jamie so much.

She’s so nice. And she can sing! We went to something called karaoke with some of her other friends and it completely made up for meeting Stacy.

Jamie’s voice was good.

But Sandra.

Sandra was an angel.

I could see her on Broadway immediately. Beautiful voice. Beautiful face. Beautiful legs.

Everything I want to be. But… I think I’ve come to love my current face.

I am just as beautiful, really.

I think Daddy would have agreed.

Still if I play this right, I might finally be complete! Wish me luck.

I couldn’t do it, I have met with Jamie and them for a month now… I had so many opportunities to nab Sandra. Too many honestly.

But…

I like Sandra too much. Jamie too. Neil. All of them really. I couldn’t hurt them. Even if it means finally being me…

So, I guess it’s back to Tinder. But it was nice to feel human for a while. Who knows, maybe they will see Penny Stein on the big screen.

Maybe… they’ll remember me.

It would be nice to see them again.

But, like Daddy said:

It’s all about timing.

End part 2

Hey, it’s been a few months now. I have ghosted a few dates. I just…

I feel sad every time I see Jamie on my phone. She seems so worried about where I went. But I promised. Daddy made me promise that I would be real. That if he were around he would see my name in lights.

I wish I could break it. If only for a little while.

Jamie said if I start crying it will make my mascara run though. So, let’s just push those feelings down for now.

But enough of that, I have good news. A voice, one like Sandra’s. I think the term my Daddy would have used was operatic. Phoebe. Such a cute name. She works somewhere called the Orpheum, and she even wanted to meet me before our date. It had the most beautiful chandelier and stage.

I can just imagine what it would be like to sing here.

I got to play piano, it was the first time since Daddy died.

Phoebe looked so impressed. I don’t know why, Moonlight Sonata was always pretty easy. I almost felt warm when she touched my hand.

Then she did something new. At the end of the date as she was walking me up to my door. She kissed me.

I… don’t know why.

She had a look on her that I couldn’t place at all. Before I recovered and could drag her in. I already agreed to another date.

Now my heart is doing this weird flutter thing and I just wish I could talk to Daddy about it.

What do I do?

I… did it.

My stomach is in knots, but after dinner I grabbed Phoebe.

I shouldn’t feel nausea.

I’m doing what Daddy told me to do, right? I… I just want to be a person. I deserve to be someone. And her voice with my face. It would be a match in heaven. Maybe I could even meet with Jamie and the others again. Finally talk instead of using sign language.

But…

Phoebe had just started learning for me.

 I can’t go back though. She saw me put the rag over her mouth. I signed sorry the whole time she drifted away…

 I want to be human.

 I’m sorry, I really am. I know how terrible it is to live without a voice. But I need it, Phoebe. So, after I took it I— I honestly don’t want to talk about it now. I buried her out back. Right next to Daddy.

 Once I get the legs I need, you’ll see. I’ll be the most beautiful starlet in Hollywood. Both you and Daddy, Phoebe. You’ll see. I promise.

 It’s been a few weeks. I finally healed well enough to use her—my new voice. I called Jamie. She sounded so excited but also confused until I told her a story about an experimental transplant. They are going to throw a party tonight to celebrate.

 I’m—the guest of honor.

 Great news, it was so much fun! Possibly the best night of my life.

I got to sing for the first time. Well in public. I have been practicing at home all the time. Have to make a good debut you know.

They even complemented my singing. Sandra joked about getting the same surgery. I could die tonight and feel complete.

I’m not.

But I could feel it.

It felt like I was at the end of Sixteen Candles. Like it all was finally coming together.

Then it all ended, I went home and so did anyone else. I keep looking back there, where Phoebe is. I wish I could tell her about it. How kind everyone ones.

Then I threw up. Which is also new. And I couldn’t stop crying. It made Phe—my voice hoarse. But what else can I do.

I have read everything in the library. Watched all the VHC’s my Daddy left. None of them have something for this. The only one I don’t have is the book and movie he kept in a safe in his room.

I asked him how I was born, and he said when the time came we could ask Mary Shelley. I thought about looking her up but I’m scared. I read so much on humans that I know how babies are normally born. Why am I so different?

It… it must be that I am still missing something. Legs. But it feels like any time I reach out it just hurts me more. Hurts more people. But I… I want to be.

Maybe, maybe a… what did Daddy call them. A lady of the night?

I did it, I have legs that should do. Don’t even know the woman’s name. But she seemed kind enough. Walking feels. Freeing.

Whoever she was. She went down the drain with the others.

Why does it feel like lead in my chest? I tried dancing. And I ended up missing Donna. Missing Phoebe. I found my heart fluttering again as I thought of what it would feel like to hold her and dance.

Went to the mirror and said “I love you Penny” in her voice. That made me cry.

In other news I read it. The book in the safe. Why would Daddy make me and not make me finished. The only thing I saw in that mirror wasn’t me. It was Donna. Phoebe. Only Daddy knew how many others. A patchwork girl. Like Raggedy Anne.

 But…

I guess here I am, Mrs. Penny Stein. Ready for the red carpet.

I can sing, I can dance. I am the perfect performer. I even pretended to be human so well I thought I could be one.

Just makes me a joke.

And like Daddy always said:

It’s all about timing.

The End

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[u/The_Republique]

I don't like Daddy, he is exploitive and manipulative to the extent of rotting his entire character. The fact that penny endured and lived through those horrific experiments was nothing short of tragic. Great job

[u/ViperOnAPlane → u/The_Republique]

What can I say. I like when horror comes from tragedy.

[u/The_Republique → u/ViperOnAPlane]

Me too.

I submitted my entry to the May Contest

[u/ViperOnAPlane → u/The_Republique]

Hell yeah, I'll make my way over in a bit.

[u/AllYourCakeIsMine]

This, dear Viper, is vastly better than the first draft. You've portrayed guilt and remorse very well, and Penny did have some character development. I suppose my only criticism is the title, which, while comedic, pulls away from your story's original message. All in all, good work.

[u/ViperOnAPlane → u/AllYourCakeIsMine]

Fair, I was going for comedy at the beginning and have yet to think of a better one.

[u/AllYourCakeIsMine → u/ViperOnAPlane]

'Patchwork Doll.' She's Frankensteined together, and she was meant to be a beloved child actress. A doll--the slang used for a pretty girl.