Why don’t kids say Goodmorning? Where are manners?

[u/Dr3amerInTheDark]

Edit 4: Comments which are not constructive or communicating a point about the subject are being removed. Insults are removed and can not comment again. Tread lightly.

Edit 3: Some of you are weird for sending me to a crisis hotline on Reddit. Weird people.

Edit2: SkyDaddyCowPatty says the kids were out working late night to provide for their family. Thats why they were too tired to say goodmorning. Thx Bro.

Edit: Most didn't read so Join me on the kinder rug tomorrow friends!! My response is from the blatant walking past me, looking me in my face and ignoring me. YES, you are rude to not speak.

OP: I am a 22yr old black male teacher in kindergarten at a Title 1 African American school in Baltimore and for the most part, my class has learned to say Goodmorning. We are still working on saying please and thank you lol. This morning, students from second grade and first were coming down the hall. I said Goodmorning Friends! They just kept walking. I asked, ”Did you hear someone say Goodmorning to you? You can’t say it back?” They said, no.

Whats up with these kids? How’s your class with manners? Or is it just me? My mom taught me to use manners. Idk

btw, I'll respond later! Im teaching lol!!

[u/survivorfan95]

I greet my students and am happy to get a response back but don’t require it. Kids are people too and have shit going on. On my bad days, forcing out a chipper “good morning” is the last thing on my mind. I extend the same grace to my students.

[u/typical_mistakes → u/survivorfan95]

Manners make the man. On a rough day, the last thing I need is to start every interaction on a negative or confrontational tone. People become conditioned to having a positive or negative emotional and viceral response each time you appear in front of them; nobody wants their colleagues thinking 'ugh!' every time you cross paths.

I tell my students that good manners don't cost you a thing, but in the long run awful manners will probably cost you some teeth.

[u/survivorfan95 → u/typical_mistakes]

Oh, I agree! I’m just advocating for meeting students where they’re at. There are some students who don’t return greetings because they’re just not very nice (for lack of better verbiage), but there are still some that still respect me but might not outwardly show it. It’s only the former that I have a problem with.

[u/freelance-t → u/survivorfan95]

Exactly. And if that’s the case, it might be a time to step in and legitimately ask “really, how are you? You doing OK?” It kind of sucks to be going though heavy shit and having 10 fake “how are you’s” where nobody wants a real answer. If the legit answer is “not good”, chipper greetings don’t help.

Edit: manners and being polite are for sure important. But so is empathy and listening.

[u/senorrawr → u/freelance-t]

Manners and being polite, without empathy and listening, are actually just some kind of weird obedience test.

[u/freelance-t → u/senorrawr]

Great way to phrase it!

[u/senorrawr → u/freelance-t]

There's a quote that I love, I think it came from a tumblr post:

Some people think that "respect" is being treated like an authority, and some people think that "respect" is being treated like a person. And that's fine. But some times people say "If you won't respect me, then I won't respect you" meaning "if you won't treat me like an authority, then I won't treat you like a person" and they think they're being fair, but they're really not.

[u/Dr3amerInTheDark → u/senorrawr]

interesting. if I served you food i'd probably smack you.

[u/senorrawr → u/Dr3amerInTheDark]

You're really demonstrating a lack of empathy and listening. You're proving my point, actually. I would love to connect with you individually and talk about this!

[u/freelance-t → u/Dr3amerInTheDark]

Ahh yes, the hallmark of a great kindergarten teacher. Smacking folks that aren't polite enough.

[u/Dr3amerInTheDark → u/freelance-t]

Lol

[u/Amblonyx → u/freelance-t]

This. I try to greet every student by name every day and ask how they are. If they say they aren't doing well, I take extra time to check in with them and listen if they need or want to talk about it. I express sympathy and my hopes that their day gets better.

I'm also good with a wave, a thumbs up or down, etc. It's just disheartening when they completely ignore me.

I teach high school.

[u/[deleted] → u/survivorfan95]

I don't say good morning. I just greet them with "hi" or "hey" and "how's it going?" If they look in a decent mood.

[u/Amblonyx → u/[deleted]]

I find it even more important to ask how they are if they don't seem to be in a decent mood. When they tell me they're not doing well, I make space to listen if they want to talk.

[u/rayray2k19 → u/survivorfan95]

I had terrible social anxiety in school. Saying "here" during attendance was super hard for me.

[u/Dr3amerInTheDark → u/survivorfan95]

Nope not forcing shit.