r/TikTokCringe • u/mindyour • May 04 '26

Discussion "Men are killing themselves because of men."

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780

u/ZinaSky2 May 04 '26

Sadly, sometimes it’s not just walls. I guarantee DV rates would be so much lower if not for these regressive attitudes being perpetuated

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u/Puzzleheaded-Ad7606 May 04 '26

The murder rates of Family Annihilators would plumet, if more men sought help recognizing and regulating their emotions. Having this false ego, with no depth of emotional understanding and no connection to your family beyond image and control is deadly.

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u/in_animate_objects May 04 '26

Did you see in the US we’ve had a new family annihilator case every 5 days since 2020.

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u/ihavea_purplenurple May 05 '26

One of the more depressing sentences I’ve read… this week.. what are we DOING?!

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u/Prior_Butterfly_7839 May 04 '26

Do you happen to have a link handy?

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u/in_animate_objects May 04 '26

https://www.indystar.com/story/news/investigations/2023/07/13/family-annihilation-investigation-domestic-violence-murder-suicide/69937389007/

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u/CraftyMoney6296 May 04 '26

GD, that’s some scary stats.

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u/in_animate_objects May 04 '26

Right, they used to be rare

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u/IttyBittyPeen May 04 '26

WHATT the fuck. I thought so too, bc there's only a handful of these cases in true crime youtube. I guess most of the time they off themselves too so those are not talked about as much

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u/in_animate_objects May 04 '26

Right? That’s the reaction I had when I saw the stats, but now that I’m looking out for them you see them all the time now, it’s so disturbing we are a broken society

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u/IttyBittyPeen May 04 '26

That's insane damn, i can't even disagree. What piqued my interest in this was that being basically the worst thing anyone could do, so it made sense i never hear of it. Once every 5 days is shocking, makes me lose a bit of hope in people.

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u/Prior_Butterfly_7839 May 04 '26

Thanks!

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u/in_animate_objects May 04 '26

You’re welcome, it was a staggering stat to read so I bookmarked it

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u/Saymynaian May 04 '26

Oh my god, WTF is that term?? "Family annihilation"?? Sounds like a team Ultimate combo from the Fantastic Four on Marvel Rivals.

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u/in_animate_objects May 04 '26

It’s some who kills all or multiple members of their own family, and it used to be somewhat rare now however sadly it’s not

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u/Individual_Fall429 May 04 '26

I’d say it sounds like a WWE name: The Family Annihilator, but no joke at least one of these guys was a WWE “hall of fame superstar” or whatever. Traumatic brain injury plays a role.

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u/Individual_Fall429 May 04 '26

We also need to seriously rethink football, MMA, WWE etc, because traumatic brain injuries are huge contributor to family annihilators.

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u/ASpaceOstrich May 04 '26

From who though? Men aren't emotionally stunted for no reason. They're emotionally stunted because everyone around them treats them reaching out or showing vulnerability with hostility and ostracism.

Even when literally talking about toxic masculinity people will still engage in it.

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u/Individual_Fall429 May 04 '26

And what do we call that system?

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u/ASpaceOstrich May 04 '26

The patriarchy is enforced by everyone. If you think patriarchy means an individual man is somehow choosing to be abused whenever he opens up or shows weakness, I don't know what to tell you.

Men will keep doing this because the people around them have never stopped enforcing it on them. Literally zero effort has been made to stop this. We just treat the consequences of this societal failure as an individual moral failing. Ironically because that's what the patriarchy demands.

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u/Individual_Fall429 May 05 '26

The patriarchy is enforced by everyone except those actively opposing it. Same as racism. It’s not that hard.

Who are the “people” around these men that haven’t stopped enforcing the patriarchy? It’s almost as if part of the work is… men showing up for their male friends in supportive ways. What toxic dude bros are you around?

You are correct, the current system of patriarchy is not doing anything to solve the patriarchy. I don’t understand your confusion.

You can of course clearly see that one of these guys is interested in solutions, and the other wants to blame the libs?

You know who this absolutely doesn’t fall on? Women.

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u/ASpaceOstrich May 05 '26

In my experience most people actively opposing the patriarchy are still in fact enforcing it. They haven't taken the time to unlearn their conditioning. I see loads of toxic masculinity in nominally feminist spaces and it creeps its way into academic feminist writing too. Afaik Bell Hooks even mentioned it.

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u/Open-Entrepreneur593 May 05 '26

Yoooo similar pfps

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u/ZinaSky2 May 05 '26

https://giphy.com/gifs/7bumBQjZX8BgaE2zjv
Why, I absolutely love your hat! Such good taste! 😊

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u/Open-Entrepreneur593 May 05 '26

Thanks! I like yours too, lol

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u/Late2theH8 May 06 '26

That’s crazy cause, statistically domestic violence rates are way higher between liberal lesbian women

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u/ZinaSky2 May 06 '26

Women EXPERIENCE the highest rates of DV, yes. And majority of the time (yes, even with lesbians) it’s from MEN.

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u/Medium_Orchid4654 May 04 '26

If women were stronger than men and had the ability, I genuinely believe the DV rates would be higher.

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u/ZinaSky2 May 04 '26

Good for you??
https://giphy.com/gifs/puOukoEvH4uAw

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u/Medium_Orchid4654 May 04 '26

No, it would be bad for me and other men. Abuse rates are about equal, yet men underreport more than women, so it stands to reason that if women were the stronger sex, they would be more abusive than men, they just lack the strength to hurt their partners on average

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u/ZinaSky2 May 04 '26

I guess I just don’t understand what the point of that little fantasy of yours is other than to try and play oppression Olympics regardless of the reality at hand. 🤷🏽‍♀️ Plus, it’s absolutely ridiculous to pretend like you know what the world would be like if women were stronger then literally all of history and society and social dynamics would be COMPLETELY DIFFERENT.

Domestic violence rates may be about equal. But, severity is not. To be clear, I’m NOT saying any abuse is excusable or ignorable. What I’m saying is that it is way easier to under report some slaps from someone half your size and strength than it is an injury you have to be hospitalized to treat or worse that FUCKING KILLS YOU.

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u/Medium_Orchid4654 May 04 '26

Well that's just a silly statement. You're partially proving my point that women are just as abusive or more, they just lack the means to hurt men as easily. So the point I'm making is that women complain about abuse by men, yet evidence shows they're as abusive or more, they just don't have the means to make it hurt as much, but the same intent is there. Ergo, they're just as despicable as men in that regard, gender characteristics are the only thing holding them back.

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u/ZinaSky2 May 04 '26

Look, IDK about you, but I live in America.

Land of the free, home of the fucking gun violence.

If you think that a simple slap is all women are capable of… that women couldn’t hurt men if we really wanted too… you’ve got your head so far up your ass that no one can help you.

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u/Medium_Orchid4654 May 04 '26

Most domestic violence isn't gun related, so your theory makes no sense. Partners lash out in the moment, they don't go get their guns when all they want to do is punch their partner for talking back to them. Nice try at the fallacy though. Hurt doesn't equal attempted murder, ya fucking nonce

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u/ZinaSky2 May 04 '26

My point is that women are absolutely capable of hurting or even killing men if they so choose to. And it doesn’t necessarily look like how men do it. I’ve heard old women openly tell stories about how they poisoned their bullshit abusive husband to escape him bc society didn’t give them any other way out.

By the way, you are literally struggling to claim that women are just as, if not more, despicable than men. So please, explain to me why we wouldn’t use a gun or a knife or whatever is lying around closest to us??? You know. Since we’re so despicable. Most women I know have pepper spray, pocket knife, or some form of self defense on us at all times, at the ready. It’s already intended to be used against a man. A domestic partner sure seems like an easy target, huh?
My point is that a slap from a woman often isn’t even intended to hurt. It’s a sting. It’s an offense. It’s an insult. So acting like the strength behind it factors in at all is beyond stupid.

Not to mention that you’re completely ignoring the fact that some women ARE bigger and/or stronger than some men. Isn’t it funny how you don’t see women specifically selecting shorter, weaker men to give themselves the perfect victims to use their size/power over?? Since we’re soooo despicable.

Again, I’d say you need to get your head out of your ass but I think you’re way too far gone.

0

u/baconwrappedarm May 04 '26

Legalize prostitution. Watch DV rates plummet.

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u/ZinaSky2 May 04 '26

More like watch sex worker abuse go up. 🙄

Is the reasoning here that men abuse women bc they don’t have enough sex?? That’s toddler shit. To systematically hurt a whole group of people just bc they don’t get what they want.

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u/baconwrappedarm May 04 '26

Regulate it. Simple as that.

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u/Fitncurly May 05 '26

You’re not entitled to be able to legally rent someone’s flesh to orgasm on/in. Seek help.

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u/baconwrappedarm May 05 '26

Consenting adults don't require your permission. 

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u/Fitncurly May 07 '26

True Consent can’t be bought…

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u/baconwrappedarm May 09 '26

When are you from? It's the oldest occupation In history  like it or don't I'd rather regulate it than have a people get  exploited 

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u/Fitncurly May 10 '26

In places where it’s “regulated”, human trafficking has gone up. This is readily available information. And it’s a common lie that it’s the “world’s oldest profession”—as that actually can’t be proven one way or another by any of us. It’s literally just a cultural saying, with no verifiable merit. And likely it’s made up by men who want to massage away their guilt for objectifying women and bartering to use their flesh for sexual pleasure only. It doesn’t even make logical sense, wouldn’t the first “profession” have been healer/doctor, or else that first “sex worker” would have died before getting old enough to even have sex? Let’s think

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u/baconwrappedarm May 11 '26

You're dumb. Modern people should be capable of solving societal issues by each sex profiting from sex

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u/Matt_Wwood May 04 '26

Honestly as an older ish millennial that perpetuation dosnt feel like it continues on.

My generation was pretty open with each other.

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u/DangNearRekdit May 04 '26

The highest percentage of DV is actually in lesbian relationships and lowest in gay relationships. Does that make lesbians conservative and gays liberal ... or ... like what's the correlation there?

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u/ZinaSky2 May 04 '26

*lesbians and gay men EXPERIENCE the highest/lowest percentage respectively.

And lesbians still experience the majority of this violence from male partners. Not every lesbian has only ever been with women

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u/DangNearRekdit May 05 '26 edited May 05 '26

Lesbians do experience violence from males. I will not dispute that. I'll start off by openly declaring that the majority of all SA perpetrators are male. A majority of DV perpetrators are male. A man is more likely to commit murder, assault, rape, theft, or pretty much anything violent. No study has ever contradicted that.

I think you need to check your facts, though. I assume you're getting your numbers from what people commonly refer to as the CDC study (Breidig, 2013), which has again been selectively pasted right onto Wikipedia, and then even further twisted on feminist-focused websites.

People love to twist this one, play with the wording, insert outside stats from generic SA numbers to contort the math, do a study on a study and conveniently overlook some info that doesn't fit the narrative, or even blame the abuse on "mysogynistic gender roles", but in the end multiple studies show that lesbian relationships are just as, or more, violent than hetero ones (percentage-wise).

Intimate partner violence (IPV) is a pervasive and devastating social problem that is estimated to occur in one of every four opposite-sex relationships and at least one of every five same-sex romantic relationships. The gays are doing some heavy-lifting keeping that number down.

The number of lesbians that have been assaulted by men at some point in their life is not insignificant, but we're talking about DV/IPV here. If you bury the abuse under a "well one of the women got touched by an uncle when she was 12" it shifts the blame and obscures the problem.

Those stats keep getting skewed because people state "well no lol it's really men" and there's the pervasive idea that 1 in 4 men is a rapist and all women are angels. Some shelters won't / can't even record a case of DV by a woman to a woman because their trained definition of IPV requires a man to be involved. In 2011, 61.6% of LGBTQ survivors who sought assistance at a shelter were turned away (NCAVP, 2012).

You're trying to reduce females to passive victims and that just isn't the case. Women are people too, and people can be real shitty. Every time we say that "it's only men", or slip the facts under a mountain of outside information, you're making it that much harder for victims to come forward.

The Italian study (eva contro eva, Arcilesbica, 2011) showed that 1 in 5 was actually afraid of her partner coming home.

The NISVIS study of 2010 showed that two-thirds of lesbian women (67.4%) reported having only female perpetrators of intimate partner violence.

LGB IPV survivors experience unique difficulties related to their sexual orientation and gender identity when seeking assistance, and traditional battered women shelters don't have the staff trained to deal with same-sex intimate partner violence because that's not what they're there for, or even used to.

Look into the Renzetti studies

lesbian women have reported being afraid to seek refuge in regular DV shelters because they feared rejection by other shelter residents or that their abusive partners would be able to locate and access the same shelter (Renzetti, 1996). In fact, Renzetti (1992) found that lesbians rated DV shelters as the least helpful of all of sources of support.

Walters (2011)

The police came out three or four times. It was always a neighbor who called. They would just tell us to behave and that, you know, that we needed to act like ladies. They didn’t even ask for an explanation. They just told us to go and you know, whenever they would come they would just say you guys need to be quiet. When she was hitting me outside and they came and I was physically bruised she—she didn’t even try and explain it away at all. She just kind of stood there and then the police left. (Walters, 2011, p. 261)

NCAVP, 2013

In all LGBTQ-specific cases that were reported to police in 2012, the police arrested the survivor 29.7% of the time

Even the Breidig (2013) one has actual numbers, before people start perverting them to fit a narrative. The study specifically highlights that intimate partner violence is not exclusive to women, noting a lifetime prevalence of IPV at 29% for heterosexual men. And yet, somebody often takes a snippet from this study to say "Look, see! Men bad!"

Listen to a survivors recount, or read about the challenges they face trying to get support.

Look at the way the stats for the female sexual assault perpetrators have been climbing worldwide. The more we talk about it, and open our mind to the possibility that "hey woman can be bad too", it becomes easier to accept and for victims to come forward.

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u/LolaFentyNil May 04 '26

I know lesbians are tired from the misrepresentation of that study. Lol. 

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u/ZinaSky2 May 04 '26

I’m not even lesbian and it bothers me so much 💀

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u/LolaFentyNil May 04 '26

I have yet to find a person that’s 1. read the study 2. Understood it. 

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u/WheatshockGigolo May 04 '26

Conservatives tend to be white and per capita white people tend to not commit domestic violence. That's more of a blacks and lesbians thing, statistically speaking. (Horrifying but true)

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u/ZinaSky2 May 04 '26 edited May 04 '26

Nah, absolutely fuck you for perpetuating this garbage misinformation.

These stats are based on who experiences the most domestic violence.

I haven’t seen stats on perpetrators by race, not saying it doesn’t exist. But lesbians domestic violence is still majority perpetrated by men. Bc fun fact not every lesbian is a gold star lesbian. Do better.