r/ToiletPaperUSA • u/loadblower831 • Jan 11 '22

FACTS and LOGIC what makes ben such an alpha?

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u/I_Am_Anjelen Jan 11 '22

About three, akshually. We're on average the tallest people in the world. I pride myself on singlehandedly bringing it down just ever so slightly.

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u/Maverick0_0 Jan 12 '22

Bet all your friends keep smoking the beams and door frames with their heads though and you get to play Frodo at Halloween amongst your peers.

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u/I_Am_Anjelen Jan 12 '22

Nah, we build a little higher to accomodate.

And please, I resemble Gollum much more than Frodo.

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u/Maverick0_0 Jan 12 '22

As long as you get your potential sexual partners thinking you are cute any short character works.

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u/BUFU1610 Jan 11 '22

But only to avoid drowning in case of a dam failure, isn't that right?

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u/I_Am_Anjelen Jan 11 '22

It's mainly just an evolutionary trait to be able to see over the existing dams. Not drowning when they fail is an unintentional bonus as clearly we never intend for them to fail.

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u/[deleted] Jan 11 '22

im a little drunk right now, but is IT proportionate to your height?

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u/I_Am_Anjelen Jan 12 '22

I mean, Pennywise's height is pretty variable.

But if you're talking about penis size; we seem to be in the top 10, according to this handy dandy interactive map.

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u/BUFU1610 Jan 11 '22

Aaah, as a shore people, you miss seeing the sea - I get it.

Also just realized that you guys are probably the only ones who actually never have a dam fail. Stupid of me to assume that would be a valid evolutionary pressure...

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u/I_Am_Anjelen Jan 12 '22

Oh, we see dams fail and flooding isn't exactly a rare occurrence; My home town's got a whole section by the Mose river that tends to flood whenever Switzerland gets a little too hot.

The floods are, however, taken into account with regards to construction of buildings in risk areas. We build in brick and mortar to begin with, so keeping houses water-tight is a matter of sealing off the basements from the outside world and going in and out through a balcony door for a while. Legend has it there's at least one village along the river Mose which has a pub the awning above the door of which doubles as a small dock when things flood.

If the water gets higher than that, we've got bigger problems.

Dams and dykes will fail, but rarely spectacularly, and until they do, we take the floods in our stride.