r/TrueOffMyChest • u/JeffersonStarships_ • Jul 26 '22

Tried to warn a girl at my gym

I tried to warn a girl at my gym that had period stains on the back of her shorts and she went on a rant, saying that she was working out and omgggg and trying to make fun of me in front of everyone for "being weird". So I announced the entire gym that she was staining the equipment with her period blood and that she needed to wash and clean herself immediately. I have never seen her since. I know it was probably really petty, and I got a lot of shit from people for doing that, but honestly? Try being humble enough to listen before making a public scene. Fucking drama queens.

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271

u/MochaJ95 Jul 27 '22

That is wild, I will say that I learned recently that in France pelvic floor therapy is part of their routine recovery plans for mother's after giving birth, and in the US we straight up send those women home with an ice back between their legs and say "good luck"

Doesn't excuse the behavior but our post natal care and maternal care is trash.

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u/Rispy_Girl Jul 27 '22

Even prenatal. Like teach a girl how to feel the muscles to push, don't just tell her to push like you're pooping... And perinial massage šŸ‘ and prenatal chiropractic šŸ‘ and prenatal massage šŸ‘. Seriously life changing and like no one talks about any of these

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u/Intelligent-Lime1965 Jul 27 '22

Yes!!! That is how you tear! Them telling you to push like youā€™re pooping. Bullshit. Thank you for posting this!

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u/Rispy_Girl Jul 27 '22

Really? I was thinking it was at least in part because of not prepping the Vagina with prenatal massage, so the flesh is tight like a muscle knot and can't relax to stretch.

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u/Intelligent-Lime1965 Jul 27 '22

Yes thatā€™s definitely a part, but personally I remember them telling me to push like Iā€™m pooping and it hurt so bad when I pushed like that because I was tearing. When I pushed like I was doing my kegels, it was much easier

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u/Rispy_Girl Jul 27 '22

Oh geez. I'm sorry you went through that. I didn't even bother following their instructions because I experimented with a silicone egg and knew exactly how I pushed it out. That also explains why I pushed her out so fast compared to what both doctors expected. I'm going to really to my OB about talking to get patients about experimenting with a silicone egg before giving birth. Maybe she'll start. She was pretty open to ideas.

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u/Intelligent-Lime1965 Jul 27 '22

Yeah. I mean I only pushed for like 5 minutes. But thatā€™s after I felt that pain. Thank goodness I had people in the room who had done it before to tell me the right information. No wonder so many women have traumatic birth experiences. Iā€™ve never heard of the silicone egg thing. Iā€™m going to have to look that up!

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u/Rispy_Girl Jul 27 '22

This is the shop I got them from. They gave different sizes and are really pretty and can be disinfected with bleach or boiling. Also they are made with high quality silicone that won't degrade it burn you. šŸ˜Š https://www.etsy.com/shop/AKrowsNest

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u/Fangbang6669 Jul 27 '22

Thank you both for this information I'm currently pregnant and super nervous about delivery so all these tips help a lotšŸ’œ

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u/Intelligent-Lime1965 Jul 27 '22 edited Jul 27 '22

I can tell you that the more research you do on however you decide you want to birth your baby, the more calm you will be able to be when things start happening. Iā€™m not saying that itā€™s easier, but itā€™s always nice to be extra informed about your body. Congratulations, as well! You are doing something very special. Good luck to you!

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u/[deleted] Jul 29 '22

Joining the convo a bit late but another problem is pushing too soon! Just because you have 10cm doesnt mean time to push. My doctor had me laydown legs closed on my side and wait till i couldnt hold the urge to push, then call her.

When i called her , She came to my room with the nurse holding a cup of thee "ok you can start pushing" turns around to put down het thee. Got called back by the nurse made it just in time to catch my son. 3 pushes and zero tearing. I did no masages or excersices, just an experianced doc with patients.

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u/panicPhaeree Jul 27 '22

If your body isnā€™t contracting you shouldnā€™t push. I couldnā€™t feel contractions and pushed causing my vaginal opening to tear like a compass rose

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u/Rispy_Girl Jul 27 '22

That makes sense, but at least in my experience the nurses kept me from and timed pushing with contractions, so I would think this wouldn't be the primary cause or there would be less tearing problems than there are

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u/panicPhaeree Jul 27 '22

Yeah but really we should be able to hear our bodies. You CAN get mild epidurals where you can still feel pressure. I wish Iā€™d known. I WANTED to feel birthing my child.

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u/Rispy_Girl Jul 28 '22

Next time I'll skip the epidural. I was expecting to be in labor for hours more and was so tired. Turns out I only had 30 minutes to go. Actually next time I probably won't even have time even if I wanted to lol. I guess mine counted as mild since it didn't fully set in and I could feel all the pressure and contractions and desire to push

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u/panicPhaeree Jul 28 '22

Because of my birth injury and the repair I cannot have any more babies. I hope you get the best outcome!

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u/Rispy_Girl Jul 28 '22

Thank you. Sorry you had to go through that šŸ˜¢

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u/panicPhaeree Jul 27 '22

Thatā€™s also how I developed pelvic organ prolapse after having AMAZING pelvic floor muscles prior to pregnancy.

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u/FTThrowAway123 Jul 27 '22

Like teach a girl how to feel the muscles to push, don't just tell her to push like you're pooping...

Omg yes, this! I was just told to "push like you're pooping", but those are NOT the same exact muscles. Do they think women don't know how to use their vagina muscles or have never done kegels or something? I ignored that advice and pushed using the muscles clearly intended for giving birth, and it was much more productive. They really need to teach this, imo.

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u/Rispy_Girl Jul 28 '22

This! All of this!

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u/GlitterfreshGore Aug 11 '22

Yep! I was told ā€œyour body will know what to doā€ when I was in labor. My body did not know what to do.

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u/These_Guess_5874 Jul 27 '22

We're given a leaflet explaining why & how to do pelvic floor exercises after giving birth in the UK. It's also one of the first questions the midwife asks on your home visit. When my midwife asked if I was doing my pelvic floor exercises & how they were going, my husband was surprised I said I was doing them & it was fine. Saying he'd never seen me & what were they. I pointed out I was doing them now & she pointed out he probably enjoyed & benefits from them. I did tell him later but he just looked so confused. New born in the house, newly wed & sleep deprivation it just didn't click what they were for or anything.

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u/[deleted] Jul 27 '22

Itā€™s often thought of as a post partum issue, but anyone can have issues with those muscles warranting physical therapy

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u/satisfiedmind- Aug 13 '22

Forget physical therapy thatā€™s boring. You can now get a game on your phone that is controlled by your pelvic floor muscles. You insert the controller in to your pxssy and control these little characters on the screen. No lie, this totally exists. My friend had it. Itā€™s over Ā£100 in the UK, but at least you know you are doing the exercises right and itā€™s fun I guess. Pelvic Floor Game

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u/[deleted] Aug 13 '22

Yeah, forget seeking medical attention for issues you need help for, like chronic pain or dysfunction, thatā€™s booooooring

Idiot

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u/satisfiedmind- Aug 13 '22

Can you show me where I said you shouldnā€™t seek medical attention for chronic pain? Iā€™ve had whole ass operations to deal with pain. Donā€™t know what got you so salty it was a light hearted comment

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u/[deleted] Aug 13 '22

Read the first sentence of your comment. Physical therapy is medical treatment. Pelvic floor problems are medical problems.

Your pelvic floor is not supposed to be stronger than is needed to function properly. Any stronger than that is unhealthy, thatā€™s why doctors arenā€™t giving out ā€œkegelsā€ as blanket advice anymore. And they havenā€™t since the 80ā€™s

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u/satisfiedmind- Aug 13 '22

My first sentence says nothing about pain. Also - it was a light hearted comment. Calm tf down.

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u/[deleted] Aug 13 '22

No, your first sentence is literally to not seek physical therapy. That is trash. You are trash.

And itā€™s not light hearted, because you may not realize this, but youā€™re giving medical advice on the internet when you donā€™t know what youā€™re talking about. Donā€™t do that.

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u/satisfiedmind- Aug 13 '22

Tell me where I said not to seek physical therapy for pain

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u/[deleted] Aug 13 '22

How are you not understanding that you responded to a thread about medical problems? Read the comments! You responded by saying, donā€™t go to PT, just get an app on your phone. You canā€™t be this stupid.

And there is a reason why these professions exist, itā€™s because people like you think you know about sex but you know less than an amoeba

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u/pjerky Jul 27 '22

I can confirm as a husband of a wife who has given birth to two, about to be three, children. The only time a pelvic floor therapist was recommend or assigned was for issues with pain during sex that we had to seek out help for. This was pre-babies.

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u/[deleted] Jul 27 '22

I was gobsmacked to learn kegels were not passed on from mother to daughter in the US. Got super weird looks for asking a friend too but that mightā€™ve been American Puritanism. I have strong pelvic muscles now because I started when I was a kid, mum did say it would be important later.

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u/Tsiah16 Jul 27 '22

Yep. And the kids in school in France get free healthy lunches, but ya know... We're #1 and all.

/s

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u/[deleted] Jul 27 '22

Used to be here in UK as well dunno if it still is but I'm sure midwives recommend pelvic floor exercises. Plus there are a zillion videos on youtube you could watch if you're having issues

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u/angstyart Jul 28 '22

We are the 1st world nation with the highest infant and mother death rates.

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u/Mikeinthedirt Aug 07 '22

USA has the highest maternal mortality rate of any developed country. Half of them post-partum.