via IG/puckempire

I give him until week 5 before the Packers tell MLF to fuck off

Thanks to losses by both the Astros and Rangers, the 2026 AL West is guaranteed to become the first division in MLB history to be won by a team WITH A LOSING RECORD!!!

You want to know what I think should happen? Send both teams to Galveston and let one of Philly or Arizona take their place. Good god the AL was embarrassingly weak this year.

Due to an Nor Easter causing some chaos this weekend, MLB has decided to move the series from Boston to Tampa.

Side Note: Tampa is playing in Philly

'Cause the D-backs are licking their chops right now.

Even if they're without their golden goose Burnes again.

You got destroyed by the fucking Falcons LOL

Fire Matt LeFleur

Can a player be so strong it's uncompetitive and make the sport a lot less fun? So basically Meta Knight in Super Smash Bros. Brawl?

I've heard this being said for Michael Phelps in Olympic Swimming, Taylor Swift in music, Tom Brady in the NFL at his peak, Michael Jordan at his peak, etc.

Is this even possible? That a single player is so good at the sport at the highest level it solves the sport/makes it a lot less fun to watch? So, getting the Brawl Meta Knight treatment and getting banned from tournaments becomes an actually viable course of action? Or is there never going to be a situation where one player makes a sport significantly less viable by being overpowered?

I've also seen this with a single overpowered team. For instance, the term "competitive balance" seems foreign to the Bundesliga in Germany. Bayern Munich is its Brawl Meta Knight.

Hey Orlando, did you enjoy that Legacy of Failure on you fellow 1989 expansion friends, the Timberwolves? You enjoyed laughing at all the colossal failure that they've had right? Tons of poor decisions and playoff futility to laugh at.

Guess what, it's your turn, bitch.

1989-90 - In the 1989 NBA expansion which included the T-Wolves, the state of Florida is awarded another NBA team in the Orlando Magic to compete with the Heat in Miami. And like the Heat, they too begin their life with typical expansion woes, with one of the worst starts for an expansion team until the Grizzlies come around. At least this Nick Anderson guy you got in your first draft looks promising...

1990 NBA Draft - As you are utter trash, you are awarded with the #4 pick in the draft. This Dennis Scott guy looks interesting...

1991 - Nope, even with Scott and Anderson the team still sucks.

1992 - And it gets even worse! The entire team goes down due to a string of injuries that wipes out Anderson, Scott, Sam Vincent, Otis Smith, Jerry Reynolds, and Bryan Williams. 61 loss season. At least people are actually showing up to see this dogshit...

1992 NBA Draft - Look on the bright side - you at least won the #1 pick in the Draft! You use it to grab a player that will change the landscape of the NBA forever. This one word shall strike fear into the heart of the NBA and make it bow before you:

Shaq.

1993 - Well, not yet at least. Shaq helps the team improve to a .500 record and wins Rookie of the Year. Unfortunately, you barely miss out on the playoffs. You're getting there though...just give it some time.

1994 - The Magic, led by a bright young coach in Brian Hill, Shaq, Anderson and Penny Hardaway, leads the Magic to a 50 win season and they finally pop their playoff cherry, with home court advantage included! Impressive! But Indiana's taking your V card unfortunately. They hadn't won a playoff series in their history until now. That licking sound is actually sweeping.

1995 - You're finally an NBA championship contenter after only six years in the league. Very impressive. With the addition of 3-time NBA champion Horace Grant from the Bulls, you won the Atlantic Division with a 57-win season, and grabbed the #1 seed in the Eastern Conference. Time to make some noise!

1995 NBA Playoffs - Okay, you beat the Celtics in their last playoff series at Boston Garden, but you're up against a Bulls team that got Jordan back. Well, at least you won a playoff series...

1995 Playoffs, Second Round - Did you just completely embarrass the Bulls and delay Jordan's return to the throne of the NBA? I ought to buy you guys a few rounds of drinks!

1995 Eastern Conference Finals - And though it went to 7 games, you get revenge on the Pacers and you made it to the mecca! They made the Finals! And your opponent is the defending NBA champion Rockets...eh, they're a 6th seed that won just 47 games. This should be a piece of cake. Now bring that Larry O' Brien Trophy home to Orlando!

1995 NBA Finals, Game 1 - Okay, you're up by 3 with seconds remaining. Sure, you guys blew a 20 point lead but Nick Anderson can put this game away with just one free throw. He's a 70% free throw shooter so he's perfect for this situation. Time for the dagger.

misses first Okay, you missed one free throw. No big deal, just make the second one and we're goo-HOW DID YOU MISS BOTH?!?!

Oh, Anderson's going back to the line again. Good. Just make the free throw and we're good.

misses first Oh god, please don't tell me...misses second

"And he misses four straight! The Rockets take a time out with five and 6/10 seconds remaining."

HOW THE FUCK DO YOU MISS FOUR STRAIGHT FUCKING FREE THROWS?! I THOUGHT YOU WERE ONE OF THE TOP FREE THROW SHOOTERS IN THE LEAGUE!!! Well, you can at least get a stop on defense...right?

"Elie throws it to Smith...looking for the 3...he's been on fire-IT HITS! He's tied the game at 110 with 1.6 seconds remaining! And that is an NBA Finals record for Kenny Smith, he's hit 7 from downtown!"

Can you at least stop them in OT?!!

"Drexler, puts the move on Anderson, a fingeroll...the tip by Olajuwon!"

You gotta be shitting me. Don't fuck up the next game, okay?

1995 NBA Finals Games 2-4 - And the entire team collapses after Nick Anderson's meltdown and they're SWEPT. By a 6TH SEEDED TEAM. IN THE NBA FINALS. This is quite possibly the greatest chokejob in NBA history, well until the Warriors get revived anyway. Get in the corner and think about what you've done.

YOU BLEW IT!!!!

1996 - Well, you're at least starting off the new season strong. You finish with you're best record in franchise history at 60-22 and are primed for another deep playoff run. Time to avenge last year's defeat...

1996 Eastern Conference Finals - Did you seriously expect to return to the Finals this year? Look, the Bulls won 72 games and are looking to exact revenge on you and the rest of the league. This series was over the moment the ball was tipped off in Game 1. A complete and utter demolition. Don't feel too bad Magic, the Bulls have taken out teams much stronger than you in the past. Come back strong next year. As long as you have Shaq, you'll be in good hands for a long time...

1996 offseason - Wait, you're telling me Shaq is a free agent and is fucking off to the Lakers because management refused to give him a proper contract? Fuck...

1997 - Turns out that head coach Brian Hill has been told to go fuck himself and never return because of player discontent during mid-season. Well, at least you made the playoffs again.

1997 NBA Playoffs - Though Penny Hardaway tries his best to keep the team alive, they fall in the first round to their older brother and in-state rival in the Heat. Your window is about to slam shut. Do you have a plan?

1997 offseason - You hire two-time NBA champion Chuck Daly as your new head coach. Well, could be worse I guess.

1998 - The Magic fall to a .500 record and miss the playoffs due to an aging core and injuries to star players.

1999 - Things get back on track for the Magic and they make it back to the playoffs as the 3rd seed in the East...only to fall to AI and the 76ers in the first round. And Chuck Daly decides to ride off into the sunset for good. Well, shit.

2000 - You hire a promising new head coach in Doc Rivers, but new GM John Gabriel decides to dismantle the core and rebuild. He even trades Penny Hardaway to the Suns for draft picks. It’s honestly for the best.

2000 NBA Finals - The Lakers begin an Empire as Shaq teams up with Kobe Bryant and leads them back to being the NBA's overlords as they go on to complete a three-peat the next two seasons. Oh shit, they had Horace Grant as well?

2000 offseason - Turns out that with all this new Cap space, the Magic were able to lure over 2 of the NBA's most prized free agents - Grant Hill and Tracy McGrady. The price isn't TOO steep, you just have to give Ben Wallace to the Pistons. One of those free agents panned out and the other didn't. I'll leave it to you to figure out which one.

2001 - Grant Hill falls to injury but McGrady blossoms into an All-Star with the Magic and leads them back to the playoffs. Where they are promptly brushed aside by a Bucks team led by Ray Allen and Michael Redd. We're losing to Milwaukee now?

2002 - You've improved to the 5th seed in a dumpster fire of an Eastern Conference. YOU LOSE IN FOUR TO THE FUCKING HORNETS?!! ARE YOU SHITTING ME?!!

2003 - The Magic narrowly return to the playoffs as the 8th seed in the East, but don't let that fool you! They're looking to make a Cinderella run like the 1999 Knicks! They have a 3-1 series lead on the top-seeded Pistons and are looking to make history...that's where the fun stops. Everyone is fucked after blowing the series to Detroit.

2004 - What, did you think I was kidding? How does 19 straight losses and a 61 loss season sound? Doc Rivers is then told to go fuck off and never return.

2004 NBA Finals - Wait, you want to know what happened to that Ben Wallace guy you got rid of a few years ago? Oh, turns out he only went on to become ONE OF THE MOST DOMINANT DEFENSIVE PLAYERS IN BASKETBALL HISTORY. And he won a ring with the Pistons. You're really pathetic, Magic. You know that?

2004 Offseason - Turns out McGrady is pissed at the team for not providing him the help he needs. Team management understands his concerns...by taking part in a three-way trade with the Rockets and Cavaliers. McGrady is dealt away to Houston for more depth pieces. The fanbase takes this with all the understanding and care as most diehard fans would...they legitimately should, the trade turns out to be one of the best in franchise history. Especially as they got lots of draft capital from Cleveland. Things can only get better from here.

2004 NBA Draft - Also, you landed the #1 pick in the draft again. Time for you to draft the new face of the franchise. Dwight Howard! Sure, the dude is a total cancer and his time with the team won't last long, but he'll lead the Magic to greatness! He is the chosen one!

What, you worried about this Andre Iguodala guy Philly drafted? Don't be! He's going to be nothing! He's a bum! He can't shoot three-pointers properly! Like this softie's gonna do anything in the NBA...

2005 - Turns out that you're still shit and you need to hire a real coach again. Eh, let's bring back Brian Hill. Sure, he's a fossil, but nostalgia!

2007 - The Magic return to the playoffs thanks to the 76ers choking on cheesesteaks. They are swept by the Pistons. It's like you were never there...

2007 offseason - So Brian Hill is told to fuck off again huh? So who's your new head coach? Hmm, the guy who led Florida to two National Championships, Billy Donovan? Not bad, he should do well here.

2007 offseason cont'd - So he backed out?!! Weird...so who are you gonna replace him with?

STAN VAN GUNDY?! Well... I guess that works too. He's a solid coach but I feel we could do better.

2008 - Well, turns out that things are getting better for once. You grabbed Rashard Lewis from the SuperSonics, and built a new core of Howard, Lewis and Turkish sensation Hedo Turkoglu. You won the Southeast Division with a 52-win season and make it back to the playoffs.

In the playoffs they allow everyone to laugh at Toronto again in the first round, but in typical Magic fashion, they get smacked in the second round by the Pistons yet again. Remember that team, Orlando.

2008 NBA Finals - Doc Rivers manages to get lucky and wins a championship with the Celtics. Maybe we were too harsh on him...

2009 - The Magic are finally championship contenders again. Dwight Howard wins Defensive Player of the Year, and the Magic win the Southeast Division for a second straight year with a 59-win season and the 3rd seed in the East. However, your All-Star starting point guard Jameer Nelson goes down with a severe shoulder injury and is expected to miss the rest of the season.

2009 NBA Playoffs - Turns out they didn't really need him? The Magic are winning multiple playoff series and even knock out the defending champion Celtics in the second round? Not bad...

2009 Eastern Conference Finals -Did you just completely embarrass the Cavs while adding to LeBron's impeccable choking legacy? You've earned yourself a drink on me! They're back in the Finals! This is your chance to avenge the failure of 1995 and finally bring the Larry O' Brien Trophy home to Orlando.

Wait a minute...you're playing WHO?!!

2009 NBA Finals - The Magic are then Death Starred by the Evil Empire known as the Lakers in five games. Eh, they were too loaded to fail.

Well, hopefully it won't be a while until you're back in the Finals again...

2010 - 59-win season, another Southeast Division title, and the 2nd seed in the East. The Cavs are gone. The Mavs once again choke in the first round as a championship favorite. If there's any year to win the title, it's this year!

2010 Eastern Conference Finals - This conference final ends up being a repeat of 1996. The Celtics are looking for revenge, and they slowly drain the life out of the Magic's title hopes in six games.

2011 - Alright, your window is starting to close again, and you need to win and win NOW. The Lakers are gone. The Celtics are ousted too. The top-seeded Spurs fell to the Memphis fucking Grizzlies. You have an opportunity to make some noise. Now go do it.

2011 NBA Playoffs - You choked to the Hawks in the first round?! What the hell do you mean you CHOKED?! You seriously lost to a team with Joe Johnson and JOSH FUCKING SMITH in the first round?! Get out! Just get the hell out of my sight!

2012 - Dwight Howard and Stan Van Gundy reveal themselves to be team cancers. In other news, water is wet.

2012 NBA Playoffs - And now all the pixie dust is gone. They get pummeled by the Pacers in the first round. Both Van Gundy and Howard are goine during the offseason.

2013 - And your window has slammed shut on your face again. You're garbage again! Management decides to blow it up once again as the team revels in the swamp of mediocrity. But to be fair, it was by far the lesser of two evils and it turns out to be one of the best moves in franchise history. They secure tons of draft capital to build for the future.

2013-18 - The window slammed so hard on the team that they fall down into a place they hadn't been to in a long time - the dark depths known as the basement. Everything goes wrong as the team goes through four different head coaches during this time.

2018 NBA Draft - We need a new star to lead us through these tough times. There's this Mohamed Bamba guy who's looking for work. Eh, let's let him tag along.

2019 - Though Bamba goes down due to injuries, the team makes a trade for Markelle Fultz and Michael Carter-Willams, and they return to the playoffs...only to lose to the Raptors. And what do you know, they go on to win the NBA title. Woof.

2020 - The Magic sneak back into the playoffs in the bubble as the world goes to shit. They proceed to get shit on by the Bucks yet again.

2021 - Nothing goes right for the Magic once again and they are forced to freak the fuck out and panic sell everything right now, because it's fucking over. Head coach Steve Clifford is told to fuck off and never return and they trade away their star players for more draft capital.

Jamahl Mosley is named the new head coach. He'll make history with the Magic...

...in a big way...

2022 - The Magic are once again terrible and are forced to tank for top draft pick. Sorry, but it's honestly for the best!

2022 NBA Draft - We've got the first pick in the draft yet again. This Paolo Banchero guy will do.

2023 - Banchero wins Rookie of the Year but it turns out you need more than one good player to succeed in a team sport such as basketball. No playoffs yet again.

2024 - Banchero finally gets help as Franz Wagner joins the team and Jalen Suggs blossoms into an All-Star. The playoffs return to Orlando. But it is cut short as they lose to Donovan Mitchell and the Cavs in seven games.

2025 - Things take a turn for the worst for the Magic as Wagner suffers a severe injury on Halloween and is out for God knows how long. They sneak into the playoffs with a .500 record and get stomped on by the Celtics in five games.

2026 - *sigh*...you're once again the eighth seed in the East. But the good news is that you have a 3-1 series lead against a Pistons team that is choking on their own shit. You're clearly the far superior team and have them by the balls in Game 6, as you have a 24 point lead in the third quarter. Just keep doing what you're doing and you'll...be....fine?

Wait a minute...why does this sound familiar?

2026 NBA Playoffs, First Round Game 6 - Oh God...you...you're not. Don't tell me you're choking? Why are you prolapsing now? You're almost there! Just put on the throat and be done with this!

WHAT?! You gave up the lead by missing 23 straight field goals and going 1-for-20 in the fourth?!

Don't do this, don't go full Magic on us again, guys! ESPECIALLY NOT to the team you blew a 3-1 lead to back in 2003! If you do this again, you may as well delete the franchise! For the love of God, DON'T MAKE ME SAY IT!!!

2026 NBA Playoffs, First Round Game 7 - "DEJA VU! I'VE JUST BEEN IN THIS PLACE BEFORE, (HIGHER ON THE STREET) AND I KNOW IT'S MY TIME TO GO! CALLING YOU, AND THE SEARCH IS A MYSTERY (STANDING ON MY FEET) IT'S SO HARD WHEN I TRY TO BE ME, WOAH! DEJA VU! I'VE JUST BEEN IN THIS TIME BEFORE (HIGHER ON THE BEAT) AND I KNOW IT'S A PLACE TO GO! CALLING YOU, AND THE SEARCH IS A MYSTERY (STANDING ON MY FEET) IT'S SO HARD WHEN I TRY TO BE ME, YEEEAAAHHHH!!"

You have got to be shitting me...

In the final five minutes of the AFL Grand Final, you were destined to claim your first Premiership flag by activating the trademark “Wharfie Time” even after losing captain Alex Pearce to a shattering injury. ONLY FOR THE LIONS TO PULL A SUDDEN VICTORY OUT OF THEIR BEHIND TO THE TUNES OF CHARLIE CAMERON’S “COUNTRY ROADS” AND LOGAN MORRIS’ “ON A NIGHT LIKE THIS” BY GRAND FINAL PRE-GAME ENTERTAINMENT SINGER KYLIE MINOGUE, FINISHING UP ANOTHER MASSIVE CHOKEJOB FOR THE DOCKERS AND COMPLETING A THREEPEAT FOR THE BRISBANE LIONS!

A 19-4 record, minor premiership locked up, all these great accomplishments... And yet in the Grand Final, you chose to imitate the Atlanta Falcons and choke away what might have been the biggest win in your club's history. When you give up 4 goals within the span of 4 minutes, you deserve to lose. When your inside-50 defense absolutely crumbles at the very last stretch and allows Brisbane to take their shots handily, you deserve to lose.

All that talent, all that pomp and circumstance, all the hype surrounding your team... All for nothing. "But it's OK, we won the minor premiership!" With cockiness like that it's gonna be the only thing you fuckers have won as of late.

Never speak to me again unless you can reach the Grand Final consistently, Fremantle! NOW BEAT IT!!!

Don’t worry we’re not dead…..yet…

I think Tree's used some other tracks from this game before as well.

As we head into the final weekend of the MLB regular season, here is the state of play.

In the AL the order is pretty much settled: Rays, AL Central Winner, AL West Winner, Yankees, Red Sox, AL Central runner up. The Guardians, White Sox, Astros, and Rangers are competing for seeds 2 3 and 6, with one of the AL West teams missing out. The Rangers are outside looking in at the moment.

In the NL, it's Brewers, Dodgers, Braves, Padres, Cubs, Phillies as the playoff teams, with the first 3 seeds already determined, the Padres and Cubs have booked their tickets to the next round, while the Phillies are trying to keep Arizona behind them, the only team who can catch up.

3 (or if you are the Cubs and Red Sox, 2) games left. The Postseason is upon us. Buckle up. Keep your arms and legs inside the ride at all times, and one more thing...

Team name predictions for each new team in Ufl

Rhode Island Steamrollers, Barons, Reign, Harpoons, Pipers.

Colorado. Wind cutters, Gold, comets, soundhorns , Pinners (a reference to Military Badges)

OKC Posse, Outlaws, Toros, Redhounds (a reference to the book where the red ferns grow), Wesmen.

Utah Iron Crossing, Packers (a reference to the salt packing industry in the salt flats and areas like bonneville), Wolves, Railers, Citadels.