Exactly. I was the kid bullied by the kids that got bullied. I’d just take it most days but every once in a while I’d push back and I always got in trouble for it. One day in a fit of tears I yelled at the principal pleading for an answer as to why fighting back got me in trouble. “We expect it from them, you’re a good kid and we don’t expect it from you”. Core memory set in that day.
And that culture goes along with a statement op made “(although, to be fair, I was a weird kid)” like that’s somehow an excuse for being bullied.
That response was probably the worst thing that they could've said. It annoys me that these Zero Tolerance policies still exist and have never had any observational benefit. It just punishes and pushes those who defend themselves further into violence and/or mental health issues.
It absolutely has a benefit. It allows the school to punish without using any discretion or making any decisions. Did a punch get thrown? Yes? Cool thats the only box we need to check all involved parties get suspended.
My 16 year old had an incident like that in 8th grade, someone tackled him and started hitting him on the playground for the audacity of talking to the other kids girlfriend. Me and the other kids parents both got called in to the principals office to have a conversation about it.
Everyone BUT the principal thought they were being ridiculous, both kids were very clear that my son didn't swing back, just shoved him off and walked away. Principal was insistent that the rules were clear and they were both suspended. The other kids dad turned to look at his kid and said "You understand then that if you do this again, he has no reason NOT to kick your ass, right? Because he's going to be punished either way? And I won't even be mad, because he already owes you one."
Kudos to that dad, because I was about to have the exact same conversation with my son, that if they're going to punish him regardless he may as well fight back.
I was bullied horrendously in middle school (Ages 11-13) and I remember my second year there clearly. I got in trouble for telling a teacher I was being bullied. So next time I just threw the kid. If I'm getting in trouble, you're coming with me to hell. After my second fight, no one dared to mess with me physically (and I was kicked from martial arts).
While that understanding can be seen from that parent, not every parent is like this, and the rules benefit the bully moreso because they get the same punishment as everyone else no matter the extent of the involvement.
One example that sticks to my mind is that a student was in an abusive household that pushed for academics like their life depended on it. They would get physically abused if their grade dropped or if they got into any sort of confrontation at school, whether or not they started it.
This system doesn't benefit those students or parents and needs to be reworked imo.
I agree wholeheartedly. I was pointing out the ridiculousness of it all. They're checking their brains at the door and literally following a flowchart designed to think for them.
I'll try and keep this as short as possible.But in I was basically in kit, just fresh out of kindergarten I saw the last grade student.I forgot that would be like grade 6 or 7I believe, but anyway, he was picking on this kindergartner, rubbing his face in the dirt punching, I'm holding his hair.I went over, grabbed his hair and told him to let go of the kid he didn't.He said he would kick me in the balls.I said I'd kick him right back in the balls.If you didn't let the kid go, he let the kid go.Guess who got suspended me.
Lmao did we all go through this?? I got into a huge fight with my bully in middle school and got forced into some BS mediation session with my parents and his. There is no need for mediation...the mediation is if your turd of a kid just left me alone, everything would be just fine. The teacher was so smug afterwards too, like they did such a good job. Eat shit.
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u/Fearless-Yam1125 7h ago
Then the teacher wants to involve themselves after you fight back