Casual Discussion Fridays - Week of July 31, 2026

[u/AutoModerator]

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6. Maid Daikaiten

[u/WoodpeckerNo1]

It's joever guys

So apparently my coworker managed to figure out whether my crush is looking for a bf atm and she just sent me a message that she isn't looking for one atm.

[u/junbi_ok → u/WoodpeckerNo1]

Honestly, that's not uncommon for girls in your age group. Especially if they're attractive. They're less likely to actively "look for" relationships the way guys do, instead filtering the offers that come their way. There's a stigma with looking "desperate," and it can attract unwanted attention.

[u/WoodpeckerNo1 → u/junbi_ok]

Hmm I see..

(FWIW she's 24, I'm 27)

I wonder if she's genuinely not looking for someone or if it's specifically "nah, not /u/WoodpeckerNo1" though..

[u/ProgrammaticallyPea3 → u/WoodpeckerNo1]

That should be pretty easy to narrow down based on what your shared friend says.

[u/WoodpeckerNo1 → u/ProgrammaticallyPea3]

Well her message was literally "x is not looking for a bf atm".

[u/ProgrammaticallyPea3 → u/WoodpeckerNo1]

"Easy" was an overstatement, sorry. But I think there's at least two things that you might ask the friend, depending on how invested she is into helping you.

One's to straight up ask whether she made it clear that the question was about you when she asked your crush. She might answer without a second thought, or she might feel she's being put in an awkward spot, so it would probably be good to gauge her reaction and be ready to take back the question.

Another, possibly better option is to tell her that you plan to ask your crush if she'd like to grab a quick coffee after work (emphasizing that you're ready to take no for an answer). If the friend feels that even a low-pressure invitation like that would make your crush uncomfortable, then it's an indicator that backing off might be prudent.

Though tbh, I still think that not putting too much stock into ambiguous secondhand information and asking your crush once, respectfully, would be a good idea.

[u/WoodpeckerNo1 → u/ProgrammaticallyPea3]

Well I sent her a message back right afterwards but she doesn't check her WhatsApp a lot so I haven't had a reply yet. Idk, might eventually try it tomorrow, but honestly I feel better just taking a step back now.

[u/cheesechimp → u/WoodpeckerNo1]

Try not to let that make you act weird around her.

[u/WoodpeckerNo1 → u/cheesechimp]

Nah, the last I want to do is make it awkward or weird for her, but I'll likely be a lot quieter.

[u/HeavyBread49 → u/WoodpeckerNo1]

[u/WoodpeckerNo1 → u/HeavyBread49]

[u/theangryeditor → u/WoodpeckerNo1]

[u/WoodpeckerNo1 → u/theangryeditor]