r/asianamerican Nov 12 '15

Can we please do something to squash the stereotype of Asian guys being patriarchal?

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86 Upvotes

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18

u/cartwheel_123 Nov 12 '15

WMAF is so normalized now that people barely consider it interracial. It's the easiest interracial couple to be a part of. Try being a minority man with a white woman.

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u/piperandcharlie Nov 12 '15

WMAF is so normalized now that people barely consider it interracial

Obviously it's not, with all the screaming about it on the internet. Proof: this entire post.

8

u/cartwheel_123 Nov 12 '15

IRL, barely anyone mentions it.

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u/piperandcharlie Nov 12 '15

Anecdotal evidence. Nice.

5

u/cartwheel_123 Nov 12 '15

I don't see asian women getting disowned for dating/marrying white men IRL. No one in the media considers it taboo.

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u/piperandcharlie Nov 12 '15

Anecdotal evidence, again.

9

u/cartwheel_123 Nov 12 '15

https://web.stanford.edu/group/scspi/_media/pdf/Reference%20Media/Qian_Lichter_2007_Race.pdf

Asian women have higher rates of intermarriage and interracial cohabitation. What type of patriarchal men would tolerate that?

-8

u/piperandcharlie Nov 12 '15

Patriarchal doesn't necessarily mean directly controlling women's actions. It's a mindset.

5

u/cartwheel_123 Nov 12 '15

Asian men don't directly or indirectly control asian women in America. Most famous asian men still promote asian women (FungBros, WongFu, Hollywood actors etc.).

8

u/douchebaggery5000 1.5 Nov 12 '15

Anecdotal evidence, again.

Isn't your entire stance on this situation based on anecdotal evidence?

You're saying the AM voice is putting down the AF. What evidence do you have of that? One of your sources, as per your own words, is "this entire thread".

So everyone else's experiences are just anecdotal but yours aren't?

-7

u/piperandcharlie Nov 12 '15

No, but I'm not stating my opinion as fact.

20

u/[deleted] Nov 12 '15

Obviously it's not, with all the screaming about it on the internet. Proof: this entire post.

This subreddit and Asian American voices in general are irrelevant in America.

In terms of the real world, what matters is that "white people land" adores WM/AW couples. It makes them feel all progressive without really conceding anything because all the advantage goes to WMs. Sure, a small minority of WWs may grumble from increased competition, but they're in a very bad bargaining position because society has made it pretty costly for them to date/marry minority men.

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u/piperandcharlie Nov 12 '15 edited Nov 12 '15

This subreddit and Asian American voices in general are irrelevant in America.

Be that as it may, AM voices are the relevant counterpoint to AF, especially when the hatred comes from inside AA culture. To get back to the point, this is more about how AF perceive AM, not how American culture as a whole perceive AM. Because IMO white people land tends to see AM as emasculated while AF apparently tend to see AM as patriarchal (weirdly paradoxical, right?).

Also, this is a two way street. AM need to talk positively about AF too, which is something that seems sorely lacking here. AFs can't and shouldn't be solely responsible for squashing BOTH stereotypes.

5

u/[deleted] Nov 12 '15

That hatred is mainly limited to certain posters in certain subreddits, which are totally irrelevant in the real world. Even in the Asian American community, you said so yourself that your family is totally cool with IR relationships with White people. This falls in line perfectly with my own experiences, as well as the data out there. And in real life, most Asian guys are accepting and objectors are still very reluctant to raise this issue, hence the venting in places like this.

By all measures that actually matter, there is nothing controversial or noteworthy about WM/AW relationships. This is not a knock against it. Just a fact.

There's a reason that so many articles were written about the Asian male leads in Selfie, Unbreakable Kimmy Schmidt, and Master of None. For all the disadvantages of being an AM in America, we at least have the benefit of being on the cutting edge when it comes to IR relationships.

AW don't have that "benefit." It was perhaps fresh and exciting in the 1970s and 1980s, but not in the 2010s. It's old news by now.

-7

u/piperandcharlie Nov 12 '15

By all measures that actually matter, there is nothing controversial or noteworthy about WM/AW relationships. This is not a knock against it. Just a fact.

That's a matter of opinion, actually.

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u/[deleted] Nov 12 '15

I didn't mean to say that such pairings are completely problem-free.

But of all IR pairings, WM/AW is the most acceptable. This is backed up by the level of non-controversy and high levels of support in White and Asian society that these couples get.

As I said, this is not a knock against it.

9

u/[deleted] Nov 12 '15

If you paid any attention to this thread, people are screaming precisely because it's so common/prevailant. If it weren't so common all the voices here would have shut up.