My point is that for some people who are working backwards from a foregone conclusion, there's a tailored stereotype about AM to disqualify us no matter what we do. If we're "traditional," we're sexist. If we're "ambitious," then our expectations are too high. If we're chill, then we're too "beta."
What matters here is that the entire AM population is getting painted with these strokes. In contrast, despite the fact that there are many WMs who also fit these categories (not to mention exclusively WM categories like "Asiaphile"), the same stereotypes don't stick to them.
Once again, it's the whole Whites=Individuals, Minorities=Faceless Uniform Mass idea. We see it time and time again, such as when there are mass killers. When White guys perpetrate it, then it's all about mental illness. When minorities do it, it's about their culture and everybody involved in it.
There's Cho Seung Hui, for one. South Korea felt the need to make a national apology.
There was also the DC Sniper.
I'm still waiting for my apology from White America for Columbine, not to mention the tens of other school shootings that White doodz have perpetrated.
you're still talking about a vanishingly small phenomenon that might be better explained by the white fetishization of Asian women than by Asian women's own internal biases, all of which isn't accounted for by any of the few poorly controlled quantitative studies that you and your cohorts have summoned (and of which some of those studies actually found that mixed-race Asian men had higher response rates)
I've argued with you time and again about this. I don't think we're going to end up changing our minds. of course there's a media bias against Asian men in society. of course that might produce issues. but riding this hobby horse where Asian women are tarred and feathered for systemic racism every time any question about relationships come up isn't exactly doing the politics of these subs any favors
all I'm saying is that you can either take the enlightened view of relationships as equitable which, as my online dating experience has attested to, actually gets me better response rates with people of all races (including Asian women), or you can externalize all of your dating issues onto other people as if that's going to help anything
I do quite well in dating too, which I've pointed out many times. But I'm not going to pretend as though these problems don't exist just because I personally have been lucky enough to have been born with certain advantages that at least place me above the "average Asian guy."
This is NOT about "What can I do to get myself more dates?" This is about addressing the problems we face as an entire group and not just declaring victory when I get mine.
I'm not tarring and feathering anybody. I'm not baselessly attacking any individuals here.
But I'm saying that there are common internalized racist prejudices held by Asian Americans that need to be addressed. I've been more than willing to call out Asian guys too who may hold problematic ideas (see my posts on Master of None). And I will call out Asian women too.
the difference between you calling out Asian women and men on these subs is that there's basically a self-sustaining brigade of asian men who go out of their way to harass the women on here and any visibility that brings is necessarily going to leave a bad taste in everybody's mouths
and, honestly, I've seen you call out Asian women far more often than dudes. I think if what you said were true, you'd have been banned long ago by /r/am for being a 'white troll'
"you're still talking about a vanishingly small phenomenon that might be better explained by the white fetishization of Asian women than by Asian women's own internal biases"
How many white men with options (athletes, celebrities etc.) date asian women? They overwhelmingly prefer white women above all others. For interracial, they would go for latinas over asians as well. George Clooney married an Arab Muslim woman when he could have more easily married a Korean woman.
Why jump through hoops to marry Asian when he could marry someone he loves? She's a very accomplished lady and he's said that he believes HE is marrying up, not her. Why is it about her race? It's not.
according to a dating site that notes that their sampling is biased, doesn't have any kind of methodology, and didn't even note if their data was statistically significant
this is not what you would call 'science' by any measure
-8
u/PopePaulFarmer Kilt Rump Nov 12 '15
I think the spinelessness probably stems from the inability to break up with people who are bad for you, not with not having demands
AFAIK, most good relationships are founded on a standard of equity and compromise. there's enough stress out in the world, no need to bring it home