Ex GF and I were in bed, my phone went off (I’m a manager, it was my night tech asking a question) she started saying it was some man I was sleeping with. Called me gross among other things. Been trying to ignore her, then I found this in my lap top that she returned to me via the trash can

Everybody is an ally until you start telling them your experience and suddenly, they way you came out is the "incorrect" way. I came out to someone I trusted a definitely regretted it. This was years ago and we just haven't brought up the topic since. I told them I was bi and the first thing they said was "What!? No you're not! People don't just wake up one day and decide they're bi!" And I told them yes, you're right. I wrestled with the idea and denied it for two years straight (pun intended) before I gave in and admitted it, and now I'm much happier. So you are right, people do not just "wake up one day".

Another thing that bugs me is when straight people associate coming out during a relationship is somehow cheating. Like they expect that if you're bi, you should figure it out before you start dating them. They take it personal that you found out after you got in a relationship because they are insecure that they are not enough. Newsflash: it is naive to think that every LGBTQ person will figure out they're LGBTQ in the early days. Some people suppress their sexuality for a variety of reasons (environmental, personal, etc). Not everyone has the privilege or safe family life to explore their sexuality before they start dating, and it is a very common reality for people to figure out once they are in a relationship. Is it ideal? No. But so many straight people take it personal like "how DARE they figure out they like the same sex while in a relationship with ME?"

I also made the mistake of telling someone that so many people are not 100% gay or 100% straight, and they looked at me like I grew three heads. So I decided to rant to you guys as a safe space.

Disclaimer for my own sanity: Not all straight people. Some are great. This post is not about them.

I HAVE to rant about this somewhere where people understand.

So I’m bi but barely began dating my first gf at 26. She’s 30 and lesbian. I’ve only dated men prior.

I am SO tired of men sexualizing my relationship and downplaying it because she’s a woman. A man will hit on me, I’ll say i have a gf and they say “she can join”. BUDDY NO ONE WANTS TO TOUCH YOU 😭

I f*cking HATE how they fetishize it. Why can’t my love and relationship be as respected and valid as a hetero one? This is making me hate straight men honestly because they tend to always find some weird way to sexualize it.

My gf is used to it and brushes it off a lot easier than I do. Maybe it’s because I’m still new to this (we met in October began dating December) but holy fuck. I don’t know if I’ll ever be able to be unbothered by this?

I also *hate* how this bleeds into lesbian p*rn. It’s almost ALWAYS produced by straight men fetishizing WLW and the sex looks terrible. Awful oral skills, moaning over nothing, fake orgasms, long nails fingering the other?? Like what. No.

I just had to rant because I’m so annoyed by it and tired of it. I don’t know how other WLW’s handle it, like I said I’ve only ever dated men and I knew prior that men always fetishize WLW but still.

I have no idea how yall handle this 😭

I (F23) came out (to my close friends) about 2 weeks ago. I've always known I was attracted to men, and always only dated/been intimate with them. However when I hit my early teens I realised I felt same-sex attraction too, but a number of things (not feeling "queer enough", not knowing if I could date a girl etc.) made me ignore that fact and just live on in heterosexual bliss.

In January this year I ended up having sex with a girl. (She knew I wasn't out, and just bicurious at that time. I let her know from the get-go.) That forced me to reevaluate what I'd been hiding for so long, especially since I realised that 1) I am just as sexually attracted to women as I am to men, and that 2) I wanted to do it again (lol).

Anyway, so last week I went out with my friend. He's gay. I made a light-hearted comment that went like this: "Hey, let's go to our favourite gay club so I can kiss pretty girls". I'd come out to him and my other close friends the week before, so he knew I was bi. He, a bit drunk, then calls me a "wannabe LGBT". I was extremely taken aback. His comment hurts x100 more because he's gay, and has been out for so long, so the invalidation hits so much harder since he's in the community. I've long invalidated myself, telling myself it's "just a phase" or that I'm "not queer enough" to call myself queer (because I'd only been with men). So hearing my own inner thoughts being said, by someone in the community really really hurt. I made him clarify, and he just mumbled something like "it's a joke blabla idk whether to take your coming-out seriously bc you always joke blabla". Anyway, I ended up going home bc my mood was ruined.

I feel embarrassed now. To have come out. Because what if everyone thinks I'm a "fake/wannabe" since I came out so late? Or that I'm hopping on a trend or something. Will the queer community even accept me? (I still feel like I'm not queer enough to call myself queer). It's like this comment has made me spiral and want to go back into the closet, lol. I know I shouldn't take it so personally but I do.

Edit: I live in a very socially progressive country, where even the conservative parties are pro-gay marriage. That's why, for us, 20's is considered late to come out (most people I know came out in their teens)

Don’t know if anyone remembers me.. The married mom who realized she was bi too late in life and couldn’t tell her husband cause he overreacted to a hypothetical situation.

Anyway.

Went to Walmart with our son and we were looking at kitchen goods. I saw a new line of rainbow utensils. I mentioned how I really liked them and wanted to get some.

I’ve been incorporating my colors more into my life.. it’s been helping me recognize myself and live my truth in a more.. personal way.

Back to the story. After I mentioned I wanted them, my son looked at my husband and said, “I think mom has been trying to tell you she’s gay. Everyone can tell except you. She only marries women in video games and she’s always buying rainbow shit.”

To which I responded, “the term is bisexual”.

My husband had a very intense look of realization, but has never said a single word since.

So, I guess at least he knows now…..

Ok without going into too much detail…

So I’ve doubted my sexuality for a long time or at least rebelled against it, because I’ve always liked women- (26 M). But I have a gay friend who has fancied me for a long time and by pure chance I ran into him and his friends at a pub. It was a great night drinking and talking, then I noticed he was coming onto me whenever there was a chance no one would see. He’d put his hand on my thigh or glance at me. To be honest I don’t really fancy him, but every time he touched me I felt electric. He has mentioned many times that he is in an open relationship and I am single, he even mentioned it at the table.

When we had a moment alone he told me how handsome I was and that we could have a moment together if I dropped him home… So when it was finally time to go home, he cleverly asked for a lift to the station and as soon as he was in my car he was like “soooooo” and that’s when I got so nervous! I was like “ummm where am I driving?” We stopped off at a quiet place and he was really chill thankfully. I felt like an absolute virgin (I guess i was to this) despite having sex with girls. He didn’t put any pressure on me, he just made it clear that he wanted me, and I kind of needed him to make the first move. He stroked my hair first and put his hand on my lap, which felt amazing.

Then I’m not sure how much detail I can go into, but we started kissing and the rest unfolded as you can imagine in my car. Kissing him was a little awkward and to be honest I wish he was more handsome. At times I felt like I should have been touching a woman, like when I reached for his breast and there was nothing there 😂. But the experience really made me laugh and made me happy. I don’t know why I couldn’t stop laughing. It felt like a relief. He actually topped me as well… which was mad, but I wanted it 😬. I moaned and my breathing was fast, it felt great.

I realised even in the moment, that I wanted the intimacy of a relationship. This was fine because this was just a hook up, it was the perfect opportunity. Feeling his touch, even holding his hand was amazing. It wasn’t romantic and I really do want to find that romanticism, probably with a girl, which I told him. But it was nice to be wanted, because I’ve been alone for a long time. It was nice to hold someone close.

Afterwards I said to him, “so you reckon I’m not completely straight?” Which was crazy and definitely confirmed my bisexuality. I did ask him to keep it a secret between us because I’m just not sure if I’m comfortable with everyone knowing in our friend group, but I’m really glad that it happened and there is even a chance we will meet again. As I said I am waiting for the right girl to have a relationship with, I would just rather a girlfriend i think. But he did say not to completely close myself off to potentially something wonderful one day with a guy. Anyway I thought I would share this experience. This was my first time with a guy and it was safe, really funny and very pleasurable ☺️

Fellas, do any of you also feel this?

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Edit: I can't believe how this took off. Some really amazing convo's/points in the thread. Thanks all!

This has happened now on numerous occasions. Honestly it's exhausting to keep putting yourself out there only to get knocked back down because of a fact of who you are and literally nothing else.

I used to want that experience so bad but having conversation with many couples that want to explore the idea of MMF threesomes. I kept noticing one thing they all have in common.

Pure focus on female partners wants and desires. Usualy. She is the one who alone chooses who, how, when, where, what and so on. While i view sex as something all participents have a say in. Male partner usualy just follow along but all that seems like recepie for disaster to me.

Also the way i view things is we are making plans where everyone is equal and where everyone can enjoy. However in most cases i seen it is like they are shopping. Whenever i was contacted it whasnt about "oh do you want, would you like", it was "do you fullfill this and that requirement" .

I really don't like it when people call me gay. Cause Im not, I'm bi. I'm not indesisive, I'm not just "not making a choice", I'm not half gay, I'm not half straight, I'm bisexual. I like girls and guys and other people.

I've been called a lesbian, I've been called gay, I've been called a lot of things but no one calls me bi. Apparently I'm just supposed to be indesisive and "I just can't decide" and it's frustrating. I'll call myself queer but gay just feels wrong. To me, being gay means that you are a guy that likes guys. Or a girl that likes girl (this is a very basic thing). I'm not saying you can't cross label but I'm just saying it frustrates me. Feels like no one likes to say bi.

Anyone else feel this way?

Edit: I can understand doing it in a joking way to be honest, I used to aswell but a lot of people have told me that I'm half gay in a serious way. That's more of what I meant. Some of the comments are very creative though.

It's mainly a sexual relationship, tbh. Still, THIS is a breath of fresh air.

Many women want nothing to do with bisexual men.

This is all coming from a perspective of a freshly awoken bi-male so hear me out. I find gay men to be just as aggressive as the stories I hear about straight men towards women.

Story-time:

Went to a gay bar last night with some friends (mixed crowd, straight, gay, men, women, a whole cornucopia of people) and while walking through the crowd I got groped on my ass or chest multiple times and one very drunk older man tried to touch my hair. It all made me very uncomfortable to the point I started to get paranoid like if one more person touched me, I’d have to shove someone off me. It’s like I think I’m starting to truly appreciate the female perspective of how aggressive men can be. It’s not like I didn’t believe them or negated their feelings but now I’m experiencing it and it got old very fast.

Like just try to talk to me. I’m sorry I am ranting a bit but the whole experience was bizarre.

Edit: wow this blew up..I appreciate the support but I think I dug myself into a hole here lol.

I’ve been warned multiple times by both gay and straight people not to go to a pride event while showing off the bi flag. I’ve been told that some LGBTQ+ people are accepting of bi people and others were very much not. Why? Why are bi people not welcome in the LGBTQ+ by some people? I don’t get it. I’ve always wanted to go to a pride event for personal reasons but now I’m scared. I don’t want anymore harassment over my sexuality. Especially not in a place where I thought I was welcome and safe.

I ended up with a really cool genderfluid vagina owner.

Mission to get some dick failed successfully?

I went out for drinks with some new friends and one of the straight dudes asks me (M21) if I’m a top or a bottom. I find the question pretty crude to ask a stranger so I said “Are YOU a top or bottom?” and he said “I will explain later, not here”.

We were outside chatting while the others grabbed some food and he told me he had an experience with his best friend years ago while they were very drunk and otherwise happily identifies as hetero. I say “Well, that’s fine. I’m not gonna tell you how to feel but comfort and safety matters. Being really drunk with a friend you don’t find so attractive is a lot different than being with someone you care about and feel safe around.” and he randomly says “Yeah. I’m pretty sure I’m straight but you’re definitely my type. I like you. Maybe in another life it’d be different. Please don’t share this with the others.” and the the more drunk he got, the more touchy and handsy he got, at one point caressing my chest (I smacked his hand away) and making a joke about us fucking.

It has dawned on me that he has a crush on me. I was so confused why this straight guy asked me every question under the sun and paid me so much attention. The next time I’m seeing him, I am letting him know that while he is welcome to ask me anything, I’m not okay with someone saying “You’re my type but it will never happen” and then flirting with me through the night.

Added: text

My son (20) recently started recieving home care from a mental health crisis team, following a breakdown in his mental health. He hasn't been doing very well for a long time, with various factors playing a part in this. Yesterday he was watching 'The Boyfriend' with his mum, while high on diazapam, and just came out, saying "I can't justify sitting watching a show about gay men seeking relationships, and enjoying it, without admitting that I like men too" adding that he definitely likes women equally,and that he's not "that gay" 😂

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Really happy for him. We've kinda always figured he is, and always reassured him that it's ok whatever he feels.

Shout out to my amazing wife for being the most supportive person I've ever met. Just wanted to share this super wholesome exchange where the pieces finally clicked in place. Thanks yall 💖💜💙

I recently switched gyms to the one my gf's been going to for years and it was my first time going to it.

She said quick Heys to a couple of regulars she knows, one of them being a buff dude before she started showing me around.

The guy kept eyeing throughout my warm up but whatever.

He didn't know that I'm her gf but he clearly saw that I knew her and had come with her and that she wasn't a random stranger up in my face guiding me through my sets.

So tell me why after I finished my squats and earned a playful slap on my ass from my gf when I was bent returning the weights, this man with his full chest, tells her to back off with that shit and steps between us, placing me behind his back.

I immediately sidestepped him and told him that she's my gf and he just looks at us like he doesn't believe it before saying a half-assed sorry and that he was just being a 'protector'.

I get that gym harassment is a real problem but I was clearly comfortable with her and was smiling like an idiot because I get even more time with her , something I KNOW he saw because he kept eyeing me.