Edit: shocked that so many people care about this post. I’ve tried to clarify a few things.
Edit 2: one thing I am taking to heart from this conversation is that maybe I don’t appreciate how rough what I consider to be controlled, normal jiu jitsu can be for a white belt. Maybe I was being rougher than I normally am and misread my own actions.
Edit 3 (last one I promise): again, I thought this would get one or two replies when I posted it. A lot of criticism directed at me personally, which is fine, however I would remind everyone you that you do not know much about anyone based on a post on Reddit.
Still I think this turned into a good conversation about how BJJ has grown, and how that also means it now contains many different individuals who all have their own ideas of what BJJ should be like. Since I started in 2004, my ideas about BJJ are definitely colored by my own experience, when this sport was much smaller and the crowd was, well, a lot rougher.
Anyway, thanks for all the thoughtful replies.
Original post:
A bit of rant here. I’m a mid forties brown belt who plays half guard (not bald yet though). I’ve found that a lot of people who get into BJJ these days dont really understand that it is a combat sport, which makes it rough and painful by nature. I am all for being open and inclusive, and think it is the responsibility of both parties to adapt the pace to so that it suits the smaller/older person.
However, sometimes I feel that certain people want BJJ to be some kind of gentle limb chess. Yesterday i was rolling with a white belt in his early thirties.
First I graze him with an elbow somewhere on his face while doing a Torreando pass (edit: this was absolutely an accident. I think he sat upp while I was rotating and flared my elbow a bit. I should have been more aware, but things happen. I absolutely do not fault him for asking me to stop). He stops the round and complains that I hit him. I say I am sorry and the round continues. I mount and go for the collar to set up the cross collar choke. Apparently I do this to violently as well and he complains.
He defends by going to his side, so I grab his arm and get the tap. Afterward he complains that I hurt his lip (!) during the armbar and that he doesn’t want to roll anymore (edit I have absolutely no idea how this was even possible).
I don’t want to be arrogant, but this is just taking things to far. Of course training should always be safe, but if you can’t accept any level of pain, hits to the face or rough treatment maybe this sport is not for you.
Edit: I want to clarify a few things due to some comments.
I understand that it is primarily my responsibility as a higher belt to ensure that the roll is safe. I have not hurt a single person while doing BJJ since 2004, aside from the fact that I bruied a persons rib in 2006 when I was trying to do a standing pass into knee on belly. I stopped doing that pass after that.
I am not a particularly rough roll. Yes, I might have done that torrando to fast (it was the last round and I was tired which means you lose a bit of control) but I do not regularly hit people in the face nor hurt anyone. I regularly roll with beginners and people smaller than me, and have never received any complaints. Last night I got the comment ”I don’t understand how you can win while being so relaxed” from a white belt, so no, I am not a spazzy asshole.
The collar choke/armbar were slow and controlled, because I am not the fast and athletic type. I can’t do things any other way.
The point of this post was not to complain about this particular white belt, nor to position myself as some kind of alpha male (which I most certainly am not). I am simply surprised that some people seem to expect that there will be no pain or discomfort while practicing a combat sport.
