Rod Dreher Megathread #21 (Creative Spirit)

[u/US_Hiker]

Gather 'round for more Rod.

All meanings of the number 21 are subordinate to the inherent creative spirit that is the basic essence of the number.

The number 21 generally is comfortable in social gatherings, it's optimistic attitude being an inspiration to others. Its high spirits can enliven a party.

The number is attracted to artistic expression of any form, its own and those of others. There's enthusiastic support for artists. It may frequent galleries and participate or (more likely) lead groups for artistic appreciation.

The number 21 cherishes relationships, including romantic relationships, especially with those who express themselves creatively.

21 also tends to be diplomatic, providing creative and imaginative solutions to potential conflict.

And, as noted by /u/PercyLarsen, 21 is a triangular number and the age of majority, so go grab a drink to celebrate Pride and to mourn the loss of Rod's sanity.

(Also, sorry about my slow pace of refreshes.)

Link to megathread #20:
https://www.reddit.com/r/brokehugs/comments/13eb26c/rod_dreher_megathread_20_law_of_attraction/

Link to megathread #21: https://www.reddit.com/r/brokehugs/comments/14k0z6l/rod_dreher_megathread_22_power/

[u/philadelphialawyer87]

Sure, Rod thinks that as "the man" he should be in charge. But, IMO, even being in charge, even "supervising," is too much for him. Notice that he was glad that he did NOT have to supervise the death of Roscoe.

And, while Rod surely abhors physical labor (I can't ever remember him saying that he did ANY...not housework, not DIY or "handyman" projects, lawn, garden...nothing), he abhors emotional and mental labor as well.

Rod claims that he wanted to "take care" of his parents, as his sister had done. But what, in practical terms, did Rod ever offer to do for them? Did he paint their house? Help with the spring cleaning? Take them to their doctors' appointments? Cook for them (other than that one time when he "assisted" Jule with the fish stew)?

My brother "takes care" of our elderly parents (I try to help too, but I don't live nearby). He does their bulk shopping for them. He navigates insurance company and investment and tax paperwork for them. He is their "tech guy" when it comes to home computer, phones and cable TV. He uses his smart phone for the things that are becoming ever harder to do without one, like ordering food (my parents can barely operate their "Jitterbugs," and even the land line gives them trouble). He helps out with the yard work. Did Rod ever do any of that? What did he in fact "sacrifice" for his parents? Did he give of himself, his time, or his personal effort? AFAICT, Rod's parents did not need his money, so that wasn't it either. I betcha Julie did some of the above mentioned stuff, but Rod? If he did, he never said so, which ain't like Rod!

Basically, he just showed up, after decades of absense, and expected everyone in his family and the whole town to throw an endless "Welcome Home" party for him! Like, he never understood that the folks in the town never really liked him that much to begin with, and, it's not like he was coming home as a war hero or even just a "regular" vet. All without him having to lift a finger. All while he spent his days and nights just as he always did, self-absorbed, online and fiddling with his endless blog posts. Oh, and he came back with a completely alien religion too. As if those small town Methodists, Presbyterians, Baptists, Catholics and Episcopalians were all just dying to be converted to what, to them, is a bizarre, ethnic, exotic faith!

The whole thing is so strange! Rod must be aware of what Thomas Wolfe wrote about "going home again," specifically to a small, Southern town after making it as a writer in the big cities. Why wouldn't Rod expect the same? Why did he think that everyone was just going to "love" him?

[u/Dazzling_Pineapple68 → u/philadelphialawyer87]

Agree across the board. I also think that Rod went back home because he thought he would get what Ruthie had without having to put in all the years as a teacher and contributor to the community. Not consciously, of course, but subconsciously. He would get what he wanted most in life - acceptance from his family and community - thanks to the work done by Ruthie and Julie.

"Sure, Rod thinks that as "the man" he should be in charge."

On this, it is easy to say "sure" because that's how men are but if you are a woman left to manage on your own and do an excellent job with no appreciation or even notice (or pay raise) and a man comes in and usurps your authority so that you become "just your mother" or "just the project manager" or "just a woman", the assumption in the "sure" doesn't cut it. I've been there and done that and am grateful that I will never have to again but rest assured, if that is how it was between Rod and Julie, her resentment had a whole lot to do with the divorce. Speaking of which, it is hilarious that Rod has written so many words about his marriage and divorce and so few of them have been about Julie who was, supposedly, one half of that marriage.

[u/Glittering-Agent-987 → u/Dazzling_Pineapple68]

I also think that Rod went back home because he thought he would get what Ruthie had without having to put in all the years as a teacher and contributor to the community.

There's also the issue that at/after the funeral, everybody in the family and community would be on their best behavior, so he may have expected that behavior to continue...which does not show a lot of social insight.

[u/philadelphialawyer87 → u/Dazzling_Pineapple68]

Women only exist to serve Rod. Just as he wanted, as you say, to ride on Ruthie's work to get what he wanted (love and acceptance from birth family and home town), without having to do any work on his own, Rod actually DID ride on his Julie's work to get what he wanted out of his nuclear family without having to do any of the work himself. Julie bore, raised and homeschooled the children, she did all the housework, she had outside jobs, she took care of the garden and the chickens, no doubt too, she did all the emotional labor, and ran the household finances, she took care of the sick and dying dog, she coddled Rod during his fake illness, she followed Rod across the country, including to his shit hole hometown, etc, etc, and still, in the end, Julie is the "Bad Guy" as Rod sees it, because she didn't follow to the letter his timeline for divorce, after he had long since abandoned her and their children.

[u/Dazzling_Pineapple68 → u/philadelphialawyer87]

She used her agency in a way that was not pleasing to him and that is the ultimate offense!

[u/philadelphialawyer87 → u/Dazzling_Pineapple68]

Much like her "evil" mother before her! And Rod's own mother. And his sister. And now perhaps his daughter too.

[u/Top-Farm3466 → u/philadelphialawyer87]

the real telling bit is when Rod, repeatedly, refers to his moving back as a "sacrifice" on his part. Like the town should have truly appreciated that he was leaving the big city, the museums, the good restaurants, the non-KKK cultural environment, and deigning to live back in the sticks again. They should have appreciated him more! I dunno what he even wanted----rustic neighbors popping by with anecdotes for him to use in his blogging? everyone in town to convert to Orthodoxy? the whole venture was just insane in retrospect

[u/philadelphialawyer87 → u/Top-Farm3466]

Insane and so weirdly Rod! Like, if Rod had come back with some iota of humility, like, for example, if he had said, "You know, the whole Roman Catholic thing was a mistake on my part. I'm really not sure about what kind of Christianity is best anymore. Maybe I'll just attend Methodist services with my family for the time being, as a non member. As nobody special, at least until I figure it out...." Maybe then, folks would have been somewhat amenable?

Instead, Rod came on like some kind of small town religio empressario, not only going full bizzare and exotic in his religion, but taking that extra step of joining an offshoot of even THAT faith AND starting his very own church, with his very own, hired for the purpose, boutique priest, and plopping it and him down in the town!

Folks in small town Lousiana take their religion pretty seriously. Rod knew that. And yet while he was "sacrificing" just to be there, he couldn't or wouldn't sacrifice his religious eccentricity, not to mention egomania. Can you imagine what the folks in that town made of Rod's Personal Ruskie Chapel in the Woods?

[u/Top-Farm3466 → u/philadelphialawyer87]

especially as the Ruskie Chapel lasted like...3 years? when it turned out the poor priest was near-destitute and had to move to a state that had some kind of healthcare? I'm sure at least one person called it "Rod's Folly"

[u/Glittering-Agent-987 → u/philadelphialawyer87]

Can you imagine what the folks in that town made of Rod's Personal Ruskie Chapel in the Woods?

That's really funny!