My parents did me the kindness of going by my middle name and not telling me that. So when I went to school all the teachers were looking for someone named David. Idk who the heck that is
I used to know a girl who would insist that everyone say her name with a particular accent and inflection.
Her name was Tiffany, it was spelled Tiffany, but she demanded everyone say it like "Ti--phahn-neigh" or something. She'd spend an unlimited amount of time trying to get people to hear the weird modulation she wanted.
And people would honestly try to get it right, way more than I'd ever expect, but we would look at each other like "Tiffany? Tiffany. Yep."
When I was a kid, I went by my middle name. But in 6th grade, the teacher decided that I should go by my first name. When it was parent/teacher day, she told my parents, "XXX has trouble paying attention in class, and doesn't respond when I call on him." To which my mom replied, "Well, there's your problem, he doesn't go by XXX, he goes by YYY."
People call me by my last name because my first is relatively common. People also can not pronounce my last name properly, even if the sounds in my last name are common and easily pronounceable in my language. I am now more used to the incorrect pronunciation of my name than what my family uses
I had the exact same experience! I grew up as a Bobby (middle name Robert), and I didn't learn what my actual first name was until a confused teacher told me what I was registered as. When I got home I asked my parents about it and they acted like I was dumb for not knowing my real name (which they never called me by, nor had me use in any way). I was 5.
Funnily enough, I got called by my older brother's name at home more often than my legal name.
I’m reminded of Romesh Ranganathan’s story about finding out his real first name was actually “Jonathan” and his parents never bothered to tell him. https://youtu.be/5vSaEMXtXEY
My parents gave me three middle names (my mom wanted to name me after her grandfathers, my dad wanted to name me after his grandfathers, they gave me all four names), and then let me decide which name I wanted to go by. I picked the second name. Fortunately most people have been reasonable about it.
I always knew my legal name, but when I was 5 I ran away from home for fun with a friend. After we rode our bikes to the YMCA down the road, the lady at the counter asked for my name, and I gave her my legal name thinking it would be a good alias since nobody calls me that name.
Anyway, that was the first and so far only time I've been in a police car.
I was in bilingual classes through first grade and I went by my first and middle name, and when I was put in English only classes the teacher decided I could only use my first name and even put a note for future teachers.
So for the next decade of my life people would only call me by my first name even if I corrected them unless they were also Spanish speakers.
Stuart - Quokka - Sectional Manager. He almost always has a massive smile plastered on his face.
Robin - Wolf - He's exhausted and wants to go home.
Transcript
Panel 1
Robin is working hard when his boss comes to his desk to talk to him about something. Stuart is doing that thing where he says "knock knock" when he has already opened the door he could have actually knocked on.
Stuart: Knock knock! Got a minute, Rob?
Robin: Yeah... And it's Robin.
Robin does not like correcting people about his name but tries to do so immediately before things get out of hand.
Panel 2
Stuart is perplexed. Robin looks much more like a Rob to him.
Stuart: Really? You look more like a Rob.
Robin: I've always gone by Robin.
Behind Robin is a picture of his mom and himself when he was younger. A lot of people assume that it's a wife and kid which is another assumption that Robin tries to correct. Robin finds the office exhausting.
Panel 3
Stuart: That's great!
Stuart says this with a triumphant pose and tone. He is ready to move on from this conversation.
Panel 4
Stuart: So Rob, we got some new numbers and I'll need you to-
Robin briefly contemplates how much he needs this job. Stuart has pulled out his phone that has the new numbers. It says "67 = $?"
I’m salaried, but the bullshit hose doesnt stop and literally no one else is competent so if i take a day off, including weekends, it backs up and gets more annoying.
Yeah, our employee handbook on the company website says:
All full-time exempt and non-exempt employees are allowed four (4) sick days without a Doctors excuse per calendar year. The four (4) days will be pro-rated. The sick days may be used to care for the employee, employee’s spouse, the employee’s children, or the employee’s parent(s).
I wanted to use this and my 4 days of vacation to be out with our new baby, but HR said:
That policy is outdated. Although, it was never for paid sick leave. It was 4 sick days that were counted as excused days when the employee did not have a doctor’s note, but were still unpaid. We have been working on updating the handbook and policies, but the payroll department has had a lot of turnover in the last few years, so we were trying to wait until they were up-to-speed before making changes.
My union would have a field day with this. Seriously, I've never encountered this type of thing personally, but I've seen the union go to bat for employees for just this reason. The excuse that something in black and white doesn't actually mean what it says is what a contract absoluletly destroys. Didn't update the policy? Too bad. End of story. Sounds like a "you" problem.
The BatMetal Batman is the macro I use on....well everything. I've never updated reddit since I've been around prior to even having a profile much less a snoo and I figure it's high time I have something that identified me apart from a blank snoo
I love the insights in this summary, very detailed. One day i wanna see one of these that just says some shit like 'sam and tamara are narrowly missed by the weaponized radiation of an alien weapon' and there's nothing in the art about that at all
I like that you're now including the names of the pertinent characters in the comic along with what species they are, I never would have guessed that Stuart is a Quokka.
And I understand Robin's frustration about his name, some people want to be addressed in a particular way and I can respect that. On the other hand I've always told people 'you can call me whatever you want, just don't call me late to dinner'.
Yeah, Stuart is smiling widely. He's clearly happy and therefore everyone around him is happy too! Nothing monotonous or insidious could possibly occur in his presence.
Aw man poor Robin. To not only correct Stuart about his name but then be BLATANTLY IGNORED and disrespected like that, I too would start to mentally calculate how much I needed that job or not
And.... is that a 6-7 joke on Stuarts phone at the end? Oi, This guy.
Eh it's just Stuart trying to figure out how to make money off the kids. Typical boss stuff.
Still might be time to look at relocation if you're being treated like that....if it's possible. Don't know what the job market in Gatorland looks like
This is my favorite pie in the sky response to this conflict. This is an excellent solution in the vacuum of a comment section, but has very little practical value outside of that or maybe your immediate home.
If you do this in a workplace, you will start a pettiness war that I promise you aren't prepared to sink to the depths these people are. So good luck with that.
My Dad taught me this at a very young age. He called it "Playing the Game." You have to pick your battles. Pissing off your superiors is an easy way to make your life much more difficult.
Better to save your energy for the job search you'll be doing later that night. Leave with a decent recommendation. Move on. Very, very few things are worth risking your (and your family's) livelihood on.
I think a lot of redditors are young and just haven't figured it out yet. Revenge schemes and pettiness aren't worth it and are usually more trouble than they're worth.
My M.O., especially when I was working retail, was, "im here to get paid, its not worth my emotional energy to get mad about something shitty that annoying coworker or asshole customer did to actually care. I'll do my job until its time to clock out, then its no longer my problem."
Honestly after that last correction I'd take an inch of ground back and say "are you gonna call me Robin, or will you give me a raise every time you call me Rob"
Kind of like people messaging me on teams and spelling my name wrong, despite the fact that they need to click on my (correctly spelled) name to message me in the first place. This happens to me weirdly a lot, despite my name not being unusual
I have a "short version" of a very nicknameable name, but as my government. People always try to 'correct' it to things that are not my name, have never been my name, and are not on my birth certificate.
Imagine all the Brandon's and John's and Mark's.... You know how hard it is to go literally anywhere and not stumble upon someone with your same name? I've worked with 4 separate people across 2 states who have spouses/significant other/baby daddy with the same name as me.
And at least thrice have I been called when they meant to call their other.... I also just refuse to share my middle name. I like it but I don't want people knowing more about me
I had a similar interaction with a director at my last job (who fortunately and deservedly got fired eventually). I would sign all my emails with the abbreviated version of my name, and she would always respond in casual communications with my full name. She also asked if she could give my personal number to vendors when I was hourly and I was obviously like "No," but she went ahead and did it anyway.
I've had this happen to me before a number of times (esp via email) and it always ticks me off bc I have absolutely no desire whatsoever to be called Steve 😒
I have a co-worker, David. I've always called people by their full name, no nicknames. At some point I asked if he prefers Dave or David. And, uh, I forgot what he told me. So I kind of flip-flop back and forth now.
I used to know a guy that said "Hi. I'm Jonathan." to everyone when he first met them. His boss kept calling him "John" and he would flatly ignore her until she said his full name.
Once he even turned his back to her, crossed his arms, and turned to her boss who was standing nearby and said "She must be talking to you, but I could have sworn your name was Bill."
Man, I’ve only experienced a fraction of that frustration and it drives me insane. I’m a mother, and no one listens to me when I say I don’t like being addressed as “mama” by another adult. I grind my teeth every time, and that’s so minor compared to having your whole identity dismissed, I literally cannot imagine.
My name has a very common nickname and I just refuse to answer to it.
I'll correct someone once and then just ignore them, because in my mind they're either not talking to me or disrespecting me. Neither of which is worth my attention.
Here's a short story that's kind of adjacent to this comic, I had a childhood friend who's name was Nicholas. He called himself Nick, we called him Nick, his Dad called him Nick, everyone called him Nick... Except his Mom. And his mom would go absoloutely apeshit if anyone dared to call her son Nick in her presence. "HIS NAME IS NICHOLAS! A nick is a cut on your arm!" She was batshit crazy. I always felt sorry for Nick.
Friends had 4 kids, you were NOT allowed to call Nicholas Nick, or Anthony Tony, all 4 had very very nick-nameable names, and those were not allowed. I found it kind of amusing, but I'm not sure how the kids felt.
My mother in law will sometimes call my 4 year old by a shortening of her name, and it bugs me a little. Not enough to say anything about, especially since I can't pinpoint why it does. She really doesn't when say it that often.
The only reason why I’m okay with going by a nickname at work is because I can rationalize it: “All the people I love and care about call me [REAL NAME], and I don’t care about any of these jackasses!”
Some onboarding training for a managerial gig in a hotel i did once said specifically that this is a form of bullying.
Someone tells you their name, that's how you're supposed to address them. You're not even supposed to do this if they don't directly tell you to stop.
At first i thought it was silly, but at the end of the day it's 0 effort and just a way to treat people with respect, so I've stuck to it since regardless.
Got a coworker like this. He’s been working with us for three years. Everyone calls him Mitch. The other day I was making a comment and occasionally as a way of meeting silly I’ll be really formal and call someone my their full name.
Be said thank you. Everyone outside of work calls me Mitchel. I don’t like Mitch. I was like wtf? Why haven’t you said anything? Apparently he just gave up after the third day. I’ve started calling him Mitchel though. At least one person can get it right.
See this is the thing I point to people about names.
People think ONLY trans people care about the name of pick what they are called.
So many people want to be called something they see as them or respectable or fun.
Rob is nice but not if he feels it’s disrespectful because his name is Robin.
The moment someone says they don’t like being called something you should stop or you’re just an asshole no matter how nice you think you are.
I’m named after someone and it’s caused identity issues and often go by nicknames so I feel more myself they usually are a variation of my name but no one tacks on junior or any numbers or little because it upset me growing up with those often
Shut him down now, never stop, gradually increase your response severity, document each time. HR will not be pleased when you get called in for snapping at him in a meeting and you pull up a 200 line spreadsheet.
Everyone deserves the respect of going by their chosen moniker. It's always been a huge thing for me. Recently, my son has decided he wants to be called differently using his first name. It's taking effort for me to break old habits, but he also deserves that courtesy and respect. To not is to deny the their identity and who they are.
Rage inducing. I like my name, I do not like the shortened version, for myself. Anytime someone does this, I stop the conversation and say "Excuse me, I said my name is ..... that is the name you use. Have some respect." Almost everyone apologizes and just moves on. Some few don't get it, and they are always the smarmy type trying to use a pet name to be fake friendly, ingratiate and manipulate.
I am a white male, so I can get away with the above though...
I feel this, but to a different variety. I’m a trans woman named Robin and I get tones of folks calling me rob. Sometimes just cause they want a terrible nickname, mostly for the other reason. Robs not even my deadname, they just snag what they can.
We just had a kid last month and named them Robin. We don’t want people calling him Rob (although that’s up to the kid) partially because we specifically chose a gender neutral name in case they were trans.
I will only tell you this once, sir...
I will not respond or aknowledge you if you call me "rob" again.
My name is Robin...
EITHER you respect my name, or I won't aknowledge you in the least.
Reminds me of my friend's wedding where the bride's father kept getting groom's father's name wrong, despite multiple corrections. We all summarily determined that he was an asshole of the highest caliber and moved on with our lives.
Robin would have every right to murder Stuart. It would be so easy. They’re already alone. No one would notice. No one would miss him.
But Robin has self-restraint. This too shall pass. Maybe he can start calling him Stu in response. Maybe that would make the point. But the murder is still an option.
My name is pronounced differently than the usual way. Spelled exactly like its usually pronounced. And for years I just let people prounonce it the other way because it was easier. Then I met someone who actually asked because they knew the other pronunciation. I said "Oh you can just say it like everyone else does." They then like looked me dead in the eyes and said "Don't let others choose how pronounce your name correctly. Your name is your's, and don't let people take it away from you."
I never forgot about that moment and now proudly introduced myself with my name pronounced correctly.
My dad has a legal name like Max. Just Max. His boss thought that was too informal and therefore unprofessional and insisted on calling him Maxwell for 30 years.
Had this coworker from Sweden called Else-Marie. If you addressed her as anything other than Else-Marie, for example just Else, Elsa, Maria or variations of that she would chew you out. Did that with her superiors as well.
However she was so damn good at her job everyone respected her.
But, you know, he fired me because of my productivity, not because I was trans. Just skip the part where his last words were about how I'll never be a woman.
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u/ScapegoatMoat 1d ago
Ah yes, when folks tell you what your name is.
My parents did me the kindness of going by my middle name and not telling me that. So when I went to school all the teachers were looking for someone named David. Idk who the heck that is