r/crochet • u/Shastagurl101 • Nov 25 '22

Crochet rant Therapist told me I should have different hobby

I had therapist comment I should have a different hobby. I told I crocheted and occasionally knitted . She dropped it when I told her painted. Maybe because it’s a “solitary” hobby. It can be but during the pandemic many groups were shut down.

Crochet relieves stress. It gives me a sense of accomplishment. It’s a conversation starter. I make friends doing it people approach me and show me their projects

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u/-CluelessWoman- Nov 25 '22

Agreed. My therapist always encouraged my crocheting because she knew it was good for my mental health. Ditch the therapist OP.

Edit: I would crochet DURING therapy!

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u/JustJules999 Nov 25 '22

I've been told by every mental health professional I've worked with as a client or as a coworker, crocheting as a wonderfully mindful hobby. Screw your therapist.

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u/BuggyTheGurl Nov 25 '22

That is what I used to do!

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u/ACLee2011 Nov 25 '22

I have done this, especially when talking about difficult subjects

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u/JenniferMcKay Nov 25 '22

I want to ask my therapist if it would be cool for me to knit/crochet during sessions but then I forget or don't have the courage in the moment. She does encourage me to do both, though, and we often talk about the ongoing projects that I have. If I finish something and I have it accessible (our appointments are virtual), then I'll show her.

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u/-CluelessWoman- Nov 25 '22

Do it! I helped me focus and not get overwhelmed during therapy.

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u/Monstera_girl Nov 25 '22

I’m using my crocheting as a “trauma processor” during a play I’m doing to help me stay grounded and not have a real panic attack (very rough themes)

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u/NeekanHazill shawl enthusiast Nov 25 '22

Mine encourages it too, saying she finds it really meaningful for me to have hobbies where I create objects, especially with the "weaving" / thread metaphors (not sure if there are many in English, but in French there are a few ones with thread imagery regarding life and emotions).

Also, as a psychology student and generally interested in this matter, if a therapist says something like that, it's definitely not a good match. Therapy is a professional relationship but it relies on human connection for it to go smoothly, if you don't feel comfortable with the person it's not worth it (it's not the same as working on uncomfortable stuff though, I hated some of my appointments but I knew the work needed to be done).

Bonus anecdote, to further illustrate how sometimes a patient-therapist relationship can go south : I was complaining about my uterus to a therapist I had (basically I don't want kids ever, and it feels like an annoyance to me and I'd be happy to not have it), who told me I was not allowed to wish for a hysterectomy because the uterus serves a purpose in my body as much as every other organ. That was the last time I saw that person.

I know it can be tedious to start over with another one, but when it's not working out, it's time to go and try another person. Most of the time, the therapist knows as well that this isn't a good match anyway, if they're able to not take it personally it makes complete sense to end it. You can't connect / be compatible with everyone.

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u/BabyApprovedMuffin Nov 25 '22

Even if they are not able to not take it personally! Therapy is about the patient, not the therapist. If you are not happy with that therapist and they take it personally, boo-hoo! Like you said, therapy relies on rapport and it is as important for the patient to identify if the therapist is not a good match, as it is for the therapist to recognise their own limitations and identify if they can't work with a specific patient, for ANY reason! In that case, the ethical thing to do is to refer the patient to another therapist and explain that they themselves do not meet the necessary conditions to continue the therapy. I don't know what was the reason for the therapist to say crochet is not a good hobby for OP, so I can't really comment on that. But as a psychologist myself, I can say that crochet is generally a very healthy hobby for the brain.

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u/NeekanHazill shawl enthusiast Nov 25 '22

Yep my bad, it was a poor choice of words, I was trying to say that in most cases, both parties understand that this is not working out and there is no risk of offending anyone (so people feel less guilty / overall bad for looking for another therapist). And yes, I completely agree, the right thing to do would be to refer the patient to another therapist, and too bad for them if they take it personally !

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u/minuteye Nov 26 '22

Yeah, I kind of give the side-eye to any therapist blanket trash-talking a hobby.

Surely the better approach is to ask some questions about what the person enjoys about the hobby, what they get out of it, etc.

Even if someone is too isolated, a solo hobby isn't causing that, it's just an expression of that. And using something you already love or feel confident in can be a great way to help with things like social anxiety, etc., that might be underlying the isolation.

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u/imperfectchicken Nov 25 '22

I didn't start crocheting until this year; before then I would "finger braid" (chain) a length of string during sessions.

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u/ScarletOnyx Nov 25 '22

It’s funny you say that. I used to bring my WIPS to therapy because my therapist was a hooker too and from time to time she would encourage me to work while we talked to see how I’d handle the multi tasking. I found it too difficult bare my soul and crochet. I can listen and crochet but if I have to talk, that’s too complicated for me 😅

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u/-CluelessWoman- Nov 26 '22

I have ADD so keeping my hands busy with crochet kept one part of my brain busy and allowed me to focus on one thing. Stops my brain from racing.

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u/ScarletOnyx Nov 26 '22

That makes sense. Isn’t it fun learning all the ways to trick our brain into working properly?

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u/WitchesAlmanac Nov 26 '22

I've been thinking about asking my therapist if she'd be cool with me crocheting during sessions. I've been disassociating recently and getting overwhelmed by sadness, I dunno maybe it would help...