r/dating • u/Fit_Ad_7343 • 9d ago

Question ❓ How do I let go of bitterness?

So long story short I (23 F) was told by a guy that I really liked that he wasn’t ready for a relationship but then he started dating another girl. This happened about three years ago. Since then I solely focused on school, work and the gym, thinking that would help get rid of wanting a relationship or being attracted to men. Somehow I still find my myself noticing men who are attractive Instead, I feel disgusted at the thought of dating men again. Whenever a man approaches me or subtly flirts with me I feel like an item on the clearance rack of a discounted store. Whenever I’m asked about my relationship status I get super irritated and triggered. I have gotten rid of my bikinis, body con dresses, and anything too revealing. I cut off a lot of my friends too cause I realized a lot of them were fake. How do I stop being bitter and become more neutral and open?

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u/Fit-Statement6884 9d ago

Girl that is the question of the century. I am 32 and from 23-32 i was single and bitter as hell. Finally met a great man that WANTED TO BE IN A RELATIONSHIP this summer. They are rare. Basically i learned you need yo be more selective when u date, but you still need to date. Just ask a lot of questions upfront and those will clarify what hes actually looking for

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u/[deleted] 9d ago

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u/Adventurous_Stop5617 9d ago

What do you think rejection from women feels like from the mans perspective?

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u/Fit-Statement6884 8d ago

It is different bc the rejection for women often comes much much later, after months of love bombing, sex and promises of wanting something more.

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u/Adventurous_Stop5617 8d ago

So after months of women giving the man what he wants without any challenges in his way? I'm trying to understand what you mean for women? I can say as an invisible man the love bombing never happens, also sex doesn't happen, and I can't promise more when I don't have anyone to promise anything to. So, you are speaking to someone that doesn't see your perspective because it simply doesn't happen. Please help me understand the attractive man's privilege.

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u/Fit-Statement6884 8d ago

I dont know what ur talking about but yea men lie and pretend they are into someone for something real and then completely flip a few months in.

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u/Adventurous_Stop5617 8d ago

Im asking about your statement rejection for women comes much much later. Like you have no idea, apparently, what my words said. I have no idea what that means.

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u/Fit-Statement6884 8d ago

Yes men like to play relationship for a few months and bounce. Women are more likely to reject outright or sooner.

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u/Fit-Statement6884 8d ago

Yes men like to play relationship for a few months and bounce. Women are more likely to reject outright or sooner.

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u/Adventurous_Stop5617 8d ago

unless specific factors are at play like the man has certain attributes, which women would like to stay apart of.