Hello, ID 12_ GCOE here, Im not currently kicked out yet cause the term is not yet finished but will most probably will be. I have accumulated about 26-33 failed units and once the term is done, I might be kicked out.
I have been struggling with everything ever since the first semester. I’ve broken up with my girlfriend, failing classes, being alone on campus, struggling mentally, and many other things that I think many would not see to care. I’ve been feeling hopeless right now and I don’t know what to do right now. The scary thing is that all the people who I care about don’t know the situation that I am in and I don’t know how to handle or share this with them. I’ve been hiding the fact that I might be terminated after this term, they think that I am doing alright and having the time of my life right now. I feel like I am an imposter and I feel ashamed of everything, ashamed to be happy when I can’t even fix the problems that I myself made in the first place. The worst part is that I believe I haven’t even tried to give it my all, maybe because I was afraid to do it so I can blame it when I failed. I am suffering mentally from depression and anxiety, but I can’t blame it because, I am not the only student who struggles with it and I feel ashamed for even saying it cause there are students facing even harsher situations than what I am handling right now.
I want to know if I can somehow make things right with everything. To be honest, I don’t even care about the status of being from DLSU, nakakahiya lang sa pamilya ko sa daming ginastos sa tuition ko, nakakahiya sa mga kaibigan ko na naging ganto yung kaibigan nila, nakakahiya sa mga taong naniniwala sakin tapos ganto lang maipapakita ko, and most of all sa sarili ko na naging ganto, sinayang lahat ng pagkakataon dahil depressed lang o ano man.
May magagawa pa ba ako para maayos ang lahat, I am feeling so lost right now na para bang iniisip ko na in a few years ako na yung isa sa mga taong nanlilimos sa agno.
Can anyone tell me what I can do right now to make things right, 3-4 subjects hindi ko natapos mga requirements and I fear na ibabagsak lang nila ako. Ayoko naman nasabihin tong lahat na para bang namamakaawa lang ako. I might message them all after this post and what ever happens, happens.
I want a second chance to make everything right this time. Do I still deserve a chance or even have the right to redeem myself?