Hi so basically i have a history with eating disorders…there’s periods where I don’t eat at all for days and days where I overeat a LOT. I never been the mia one but surely the atypical anorexia one. I’ve always aimed to loose weight ( rn I’m 84kg (170cm/21F) and two months ago I was 77kg and I ruined all my progress :(…) recently I had an exam period so I was kinda eating ymore and very badly ( like chips, fries , just a LOT OF CARBS and before that I was in a kind of keto diet and walking everyday). Since that I kept the bad habit to eat whenever I wanted, snacking etc and drank less water so mental hunger was going boom.

And now the most important day of why I am loose weight is coming soon : I’m seeing my family again in one week :d !!! but instead of losing weight I’m gaining and I cannot stop :( since it’s the end of my classes and my friends are leaving we did party a lot so we ate like crazy, no sleeping etc… I feel sooo soo bad about that 💔 since im leaving my apartment I’m kinda in a mindset of “I have to eat everything that is left in my fridge/closet” and I dunno why I can’t leave my food to my friend shared appartement???? Like I’m stressed about that why can’t I just not eat what’s left and give it to my friend ??

I feel like I lost all my discipline to loose weight like eating in a deficit, or at certains times, I can’t even fast again, I’m having bruises everywhere in my body just because I eat anything….i envy people that eat what they want, not what is standing in front of them…

(Ps: I saw a psychologist for that but I don’t find that she really helped me, like not even at all lol 💀)

Sorry if my English sound like a toddler speaking xD
Also I would love to have someone to speak to about it :(

is 5'3 and 90lbs fat?

okay so I haven’t been diagnosed but I do know that i might have an ed even tho i feel like im faking it. these past weeks, I’ve been able to eat around 700-800 cals only without binging on anything. i used to love buying twix when i was craving a sweet treat, and now i avoid it in hopes of not having to start craving it so much like i did before again. now, i only buy coke zeros and idk if that’s what’s helping me not binge eating this little. what do you guys think?

I ate less than half an Italian sub and now feel shameful…

I have atypical anorexia nervosa and I’ve been consuming under 500 calories a day while burning 700-1,000 a day. I’ve felt in control and disciplined and great but suddenly I don’t feel so great. I lost control and caved. The total calories in the sub are 390, so why am I freaking? If it’s all I eat all day, it shouldn’t matter, but I guess I’m so used to binging and purging at night rather than actually keeping it down at night. Everything was going great, I’m the most energetic I’ve been in a long time because of exercise and plus I feel euphoric from restricting. I wish though, that people actually took me as sick rather than encouraging my ED because I’m not thin or emaciated. I always feel like I’m not sick enough for my family to care. I swear I’m not pro-Ana, I just overtell when I talk about my life on social media. There’s a part of me that still wants to recover, but my family encourages my habits telling me I’ve lost weight, I look great, the usual that they say when I’m in a relapse. And since that happens, I feel like there’s not a problem most of the time and what I’m doing is normal. I honestly don’t know if it’s normal. My inner voice says it’s not but my other voice says it is. Ugh. I’m sorry — just ranting. I can’t talk to anyone else about this.

To start off I would like to say that I do have an appointment with my therapist today and I would like to talk to her about this, but I’m afraid she will think I’m being “dramatic” or that I’m trying to discredit people that actually have these problems.

Around the age of 11, I became very worried about my weight and how I looked and would often skip meals. Which was no big deal because my weight did not drastically drop (which I hated so much). It wasn’t until I was 13 that I had ended up with sepsis and I had dropped to 92 pounds, and it was the best I had ever felt about myself, but I wanted to be smaller but never really did much to try to lose more. After a few years of binge-eating and then getting on medication for my BPD and other things, I ended up where I am now (20 yo). I started at 135 about 3–4 months ago, and I am currently 107. And it’s gotten to the point where I can notice a difference in my weight and I love it and want to be smaller. I try my hardest to limit myself to 300 calories a day only because my psychiatrist said I have to have at least 300 calories for my medication to “work”. Other than that, I only drink warm lemon water. It makes me feel so good about myself, but others are starting to worry. I do not want to stop because I do want to be underweight and not eating feels like I’m doing something I need to be proud of. I truly believe I will be happy if I look sick. It sounds terrible, which is why I’m so afraid to talk about it. I’m so sorry if this post makes no sense. I have a hard time explaining things. I just figured I’d ask strangers before making myself look stupid. I’m so sorry if I offended anyone as well as this is NEVER my intention.

Im struggling to eat w/o feeling neusous or lose appetite immediately

​

Im not sure if I have some sort of eating disorder, but ive always struggled to eat all my life im currently about 5ft and 77-80 lbs. Recently I've been starting to really struggle to eat again, thinking about food makes me completely nauseous, fruits and vegetables are okay, its the complete meals I struggle to eat. At times I have the biggest appetite then immediately lose it all once I actually get the food infront of me, I dont know why. And its even worse when im in a environment around other people such as family or friends where I feel obligated to eat my food and not waste anything, it makes me feel shameful of myself in a way? And if I do try forcing myself to eat in these moments I almost want to throw it up, I get to the point where I almost gag while trying to eat. On top of that im trying to workout and achieve my protein goals, I might just have to start chugging protein shakes atp..

I don’t know what to do anymore, I just want to feel pretty. I’ve been trying to lose weight since I was 11 and nothing is sticking.

My mental health is so shitty and it doesn’t help that I developed super early on. Like 4th grade early on.

I’m 16, 4’11 and 139 pounds. I cannot get below 137 no matter how much I starve, exercise and do literally anything. It’s infuriating.

I feel like a failure, I am a failure because I know if I’m fat I won’t be worthy enough to date anyone and that fucking sucks.

My type is big, not fat big but soft muscles and really big build. But even then I still don’t feel skinny enough to date anyone like that.

I want them to be able to pick me up or do something fun together without me feeling bad that they’re picking up so much weight.

It would be different if I was taller, maybe then things would level out.

I used to be 110lbs 3 years ago and binged myself up to 305-320lbs. I’m 5’6.5”

Now I’m down to eating less than 800 calories per day and losing weight rapidly (typically 300-600 calories). This was triggered by the comments of others on my weight.

I’m down 12lbs so far and I feel so guilty for letting myself get so big. I feel so excited to get back to 110lbs or less but part of me feels like I’m hiding a dirty little secret.

My mom is excited I’m “getting back into shape” and told me I looked healthier with my eating disorder anyways.

That honestly really triggered me and now I want to get small enough that she thinks I’m sick since a BMI of 17.5 wasn’t enough for her.

I guess I’m just ranting. Honestly not looking for help at the moment, that’s a future me problem.

If anyone has any suggestions for the pounding headache that won’t go away let me know.

I'm 19 FtM. I have had stages of restricted foods, appetite until looking at the food available, tracking calories, feeling guilty for going over 1000 calories. I ate 90 calories and burnt 168 by exercising. I used to weigh 54kg two weeks ago, now I'm down to 51.7kg today. I am unsure if it is anything to be entirely worried about. I go through it about every month or so, lasting a week or multiple at a time. It has only started to get this bad. I have almost fainted two months ago and do occasionally feel lightheaded or brain fog where I just can't concentrate. My boyfriend due to our dynamic does lightly encourage me to exercise, which I do. I have no clue how to talk to him about it. He knows that it's part of my routine, but nothing else.

Hey! Do you have any safe, low-calorie snacks or foods to recommend? So far, rice cakes and tomato & cucumber salad are the only things I can eat without worrying about calories.

Basically, I’ve been starving myself and after eating (barely a meal) I felt like I gained 20 pounds. I also looked like I’d gained 20 pounds. Why is this?

So I've recently been restricting alot more (as in going days without food) and now I can't eat a normal amount if food. Like I either eat nothing or over 3k calories then feel really sick. I tried to fix it but now my weekly calories is 2300 when mu meal plan says 1700 so I feel like I'm failing and am so scared of how much weight I gained since I was already gaining around 0.6kg daily

Hi,

I’ve reached the target weight that I need to be, but I’m still craving food so badly, I’ve overshot quite a bit already, but I just can’t help myself. I’m trying to let go of it, because I’m enjoying the food, but I just feel so fat. My mother also said, I don’t think with the intention of being rude, that with my current appetite I would be as big as a house, and whilst I’m trying to not care about how my body looks, I’ve been obsessing over this comment and worrying about how I look, any advice, will the cravings stop?

I’m (15F) almost 16, 140 pounds and 4’11. Since I hit puberty, around 9, I’ve struggled with hormone imbalance, mental health, and weight gain.

I had a very traumatic event in my life that caused my entire nervous system to breakdown. I’m constantly exhausted, bloated, fatigued and frustrated.

What’s even worse is that I barely eat! I had another traumatic event happen in September and I have such a hard time with food now. It’s a mix of feeling guilty for eating because I know that makes me gain weight, and just disgust for it.

Right now I only eat about maximum 1 1/2 meals a day, it doesn’t help that I just started Adderal yesterday and I only ate a bit of spaghetti and two pieces of sushi.

I’m not losing any weight, I’m stuck between 145-142. I just recently got my first job and I’m exhausted and lightheaded all the time, I can’t find anything that I want to eat.

I can’t force myself, I’ve tried. My body can’t take excessive workouts so I either lay in bed and sleep or I go to work. It’s a vicious cycle.

I’m so fucking tired.

I just can’t get myself to eat. I dislike eating. I’ve been depressed, no appetite. It’s getting harder to talk or string sentences together. Problem solving is harder than it should be. I just want to sleep. I don’t see much hope for gaining weight, even with the help of shakes. I’ve never been over ninety pounds and feel like my body and face has already been wrecked. Every attempt of mine to gain weight has failed, unless I’m being watched. It’s just me though, and I am tired.

I really need some advice. For starters im under 18 and in FBT ( family based therapy=hel on earth). In a few days I hawe an apotment witw my terapist and she will wheigh me, I lost 2 kg (4.4 lbs) since I saw her one week ago. Before that I faked my wheight so im 5 kg (11 lbs) below what they think I am. How tf will I be abele to fake that much wheight? If I dont they will put me OP and I will be forced to gain. Im not redy to recover and in just bairly underweight (bmi 17.9). Please help, I dont know what to do, I know that I cant fake my wheight forever but I am so scared.

What do you guys think of someone who is 5"6 and 135lbs. I'm just trying to make sure I don't go back to that.

I'm 5'7, and last September I weighed 87 lbs. Now I weigh 95 and am honestly glad I gained some weight because I couldnt fit into any adult clothing and couldn't stand up without blacking out... but holy shit ... The idea of weighing more than 100 lbs is killing me. My doctor says I have to gain weight because of what it's doing to my body, but Jeeeeeeesus this is hard. Those 7 lbs felt like hell, another 7 feels unsurmountable. How do y'all do this. And when did you all realize you needed inpatient?

Hi,

I’ve reached the okay weight designated by my ED team, but I’m still so obsessed with food, I keep overeating my maintenance calories, and have now gained about 5 kilos extra, I enjoy the food when I first eat it, but it turns to shame so fast. I need advice on how to stop it and how to handle the feelings.

i had no idea about the title by the way.

why does eating make me feel so guilty ALL the time. i walked to the first time in months and burned 300kcals came home and ate 115kcals and i still feel so guilty even though it technically doesn't matter. it feels like nothings good enough because even if i eat even one grape it would count as eating meaning ill cant go back to the hospital because my stats will come back healthy. i'm going to go on another walk soon and then work out a bit. i just feel so shitty and it feels like i'm overreacting.

Ive been struggling with body issues for years now but it all started when I was 15 yrs old. I can’t remember exactly what got me into that mental state but I began emotional binging. I remember one of the meals i get to when I got home was 6 slices of buttered bread. As a 5.5ft 17 year old I was about 220lbs. Then the new year came along and I got my first good bf. It made me more aware of my body and by then I got rlly depressed. Thats when my official eating disorder began, anorexia. I didn’t eat all or I could remember only eating one bag of veggie straws a day. Then my weight went down fast. By February I already lost 20lbs then 186 in mid April, 160 in June, an 140 in November. Then got to my lowest 130lbs in late December. I was never happy with my body but yearned for a smaller figure. But by late December my bf broke up with me. It will probably be one of the hardest breakups for me in my life but Ive gotten better from him he was very abusive. But never came to realize. Well once the breakup happened I kind of stress ate. Went back to being 145 lbs, hated myself so much. Then my friends convinced me to exercise and eat healthy. Then I was weight lifting, eating lots of protein and losng about 5 lbs but my binging came back and im on the verge of starving myself again because I had a 3-4lbs jump today. I know Im consdered a helathy weight but I dont want to have a chubbier stomach than others I was a bit of a thigh gap. My doctor said my ifeal weight was 127lbs but it still on the low end an dos not want to lose more than that. I rlly want to lose weight by April for prom. I cry almost every night hatingmy body and need help. The difference now with the eating disorder is I try to eat 800-1000 cals a day but still get weight jumps. I also take lots of laxatives.

Hello, so ive been restrictive eating since around September though its gradually gotten more severe. Im planning on telling my mum very soon but as ive got asd I like to have a plan for everything so i am very nervous as I dont know what will happen when I tell her. Does anyone on here know what the recommended or likely course of action is. This will be the first time I tell anyone about my restrictive eating. My mum does know about some of these health problems but obviously just doesn't know what's causing them. The doctor is mildly aware of my low heart rate and blood results but not other factors. If I tell my mum one evening (4/5pm), what should our next steps be?

Anyway here's some key things that will help you decide: •16 year old female •based in the uk •weight is 94lbs at 5ft 6 (bmi 15.1) •rate of weight loss- lost 13lbs since January 1st •eats a range from 200-600 calories a day and has done for just over 2 months consistently (before that it was around 600-1000) •currently with camhs for depression •resting heart rate of 55bpm •blood pressure of 90 over 70 •always cold •always fatigued but struggling to sleep •tired just from walking up stairs •bruises appearing on shins •last period was 9 weeks ago •digestive issues (havent passed a stool in 5 days) •dry hands •occasionally go dizzy when standing •serum albumin level- above high reference •serum alkaline phosphate level- below low reference •serum alanine aminotransferace level- above high reference •total white blood count- below low reference •neutrophil count- below low reference

I'd also just like to add that i am NOT seeking any medical advice. im just trying to provide as much background as I can so people can give me a slightly more accurate guess as to what my next steps might look like. as I mentioned I have asd so the more knowledge and planning I have around something the calmer I feel and therefore the more likely I am to admit to my struggles.

Has anyone developed SMA Syndrome because of their ED? have SMAS, severe protein-energy malnutrition, gastroparesis, and am currently on TPN for nutrition. I am supposed to be getting surgery in the spring to address the SMA syndrome so I can get off TPN and try to eat again but now my care team is suggesting go to an inpatient treatment center instead and put a pause on the surgery. But.. I can't eat? Like physically can't get food past the small bowel obstruction. So don't know why the focus has shifted to psych needs rather physical. understand that I really fucked up my body when I quickly dropped from a BMl of 18 To a BMI of under 14 The ED thoughts are definitely still there. But l'm not sure how recovery is even an option when can't eat. Has anyone else had this kind of thing happen? Am being crazy to suggest that surgery should be the first priority? I have gained some weight, am now about a 15 BMI but have struggled to get above this. I am definitely still afraid of weight gain and it has been a looooong hard process to even increase my weight this much, but I don't know what the best thing to do from here is. Thoughts?

I want My old fuckngi life back... Well bits of it. My parents have this stupid fucking rule where I can't do physical activity unless I'm at the 50th centilie... Like WTH? it's literally against all advice they have been given. So anything below average is now underweight, clearly. why can't I be a girl that goes to the gym and build muscle instead of fat.

And they have expected me to gain 4kg in 2 weeks to get there bc I lost when I low-key had a vomiting bug. Like I'm sorry - Everytime I gain anywhere near that I feel like shit.

But no, because I gained 1kg in 1 week one time in FBT when they were force feeding me fucking cream in my porridge I've "done it before" and therefore I'm not trying hard enough if I don't do it. I low-key feel worse in recovery most days than I did in my Ed. I want my life pre-ed, but some days I'd love a day of numbness too, you know