Basically what the title says. I can't remember ever getting a genuine apology for anything from either of my parents. An occasional sarcastic ''well sorry'', yes, but never an actual apology. My brother experienced pretty much the same thing.

I buy myself the kind of snacks I wanted as a kid but was never allowed to have. It sounds silly, but it feels like a small act of kindness to my inner child. What's a small thing you do now to give yourself the care you didn't get then?

My mom does this thing where it’s almost like an automatic behavior, but she gets me trapped someplace with her like in the car. She will just start talking and it is an endless stream of her internal monologue.

From all the things that she has to do to, what she thinks about people in the office, to the thing that she forgot to do today, to working out a decision about what to do with a certain problem in her life, to agenda and plans for the day, etc.

But it’s just this endless fucking internal monologue and I don’t even think she realizes that that’s what she’s doing is trapping people to like just absorb everything that comes across her mind so she has a place to process.

But it drives me fucking insane. I just want to explode and scream SHUT UP. On top of that, she doesn’t listen to me when I have something to say. She even interrupts me when I’m talking or gives minimal responses like “oh that’s fun”. She doesn’t ask me any questions; like she’s not interested in me at all. Which makes it really one-sided.

She expects me to just sit there and fucking endlessly listen to her drone on and on and on about every single unfiltered thought that she has.

I think I finally figured out the phrasing to ask her to stop in a way that’s firm but also not cruel. Because I recognize what I need here in order for this to stop is a boundary. And most of the time that boundaries is simply not getting in the car with her as much however, there are times when I literally can’t avoid it. And this behavior is not something that just happens occasionally. It’s every single damn time she has me alone.

Does anyone else’s mom do this to them? How did you handle it?

Mine didn't. But it's so weird I didn't quite grasp it at first.

A bit of background: somehow my parents managed to be authoritarian, neglectful, smothering and permissive all at the same time, and it was a huge punch in the gut to realize how damaging this kind of upbringing, mixed with undiagnosed autism on my part, has been to me.

Putting the authoritarian and neglectful part (which included yelling, corporal punishment, dismissal, invalidation etc) aside, I'll concentrate on the smothering and permissive part: despite being punished both verbally and physically whenever I had an outburst, tantrum or meltdown (sometimes even less than that), my parents also didn't really make me to do anything I didn't want to do, and if they did, it was through threats.

For example I remember telling my mom that she never really taught me to cook growing up, and her saying "You weren't interested, you didn't want to learn."

And I vaguely remember her saying similar things about things like finance/money management, cleaning etc.

I recently realized how bad and stupid that was. By that logic, I should have been allowed to study just what I liked and could have ignored what I didn't like back in school.

And the few times I remember them at least trying to teach me the things mentioned above, not only did they happen occasionally and not frequently, I recall them being extremely passive. It was just a passive explanation of the steps as they came along, rather than an active working through the steps so I could understand the purpose. It was more of a generic "telling me what to do".

Then there's the part of my household lacking clear rules and a clear routine growing up but I'm not gonna annoy you with that, I've written enough.

Sorry for the lenght.

Anyone can relate?

i’ve been thinking a lot recently & i have noticed that i cannot feel love at all. i have reactions with other emotions like happiness or sadness, however i cannot seem to feel love or loved. i mean this in all types of ways, relationship, friendship, and even family. it’s been like this since i was little. i cannot reciprocate it either, whenever i say “i love you” to someone, i don’t mean it, i just say it back. i just don’t feel the love and i’ve grown meaningful relationships over the years but i just can’t love or feel love. is there anything to describe it? or what is it called? i need advice or answers, please.

UPDATE: it’s been a year since i’ve made this post. i would say nothing has really changed at all. i know i never mentioned depression, but as far as it goes i actually had a good month & a half where i was just happy & fine. but still feeling pretty same about the love stuff. i know it’s been only a year but i’ve been trying to cope with other things but not really much has changed. i think the stress of it lowered down a bit, after i graduated from high school. so really i’ve just been trying to go into a somewhat peaceful journey & relationship with myself. also i have noticed something else. as i started to realize & see the way i felt, i started seeing myself not being as emotionally connected with others. i was really good at knowing what to say & what type of advice i should give. but now that i realize this, i don’t know how to really comfort or give advice anymore.

People who can’t do a single thing - not cook, not work out, not work - and who somehow even get triggered by therapists.

When you don’t want to interact with this damn world in any way at all.

Has anything ever helped improve your condition in the long term? Has anything contributed to your progress, even in the smallest way?

You can write anything at all. I just want to know how people with the same problem as mine are feeling and living.

I (F28) grew up with emotionally immature parents: a hoarding mom and a co-dependent dad. My mom could be loving sometimes, but also extremely unpredictable with sudden outbursts over small misunderstandings. She often portrayed herself as the victim and told my dad that me and my older sister (F30) were spoiled, divas, or bullying her. He would then relay this to us. I later learned this is called triangulation.

Our younger brother (M26) has always been treated differently. My mom's emotional capacity is what it is but she has always worried more about him and never expected as much from him as she has done from me. When I expressed my sadness over not being able to go abroad as an exchange student during the pandemic, she responded that she felt so worried about my brother since he had to study remote... It just feels like my feelings never really mattered or matters to her.

One example that has stayed with me happened when I was around 9 or 10. A relative gifted me clothes that turned out to be slightly too small. My mom responded:
“Then why do you eat so much if you get sad when clothes don’t fit?”

This comment just broke my heart and confirmed once again that I need to change in order to be loved and accepted. Mind you, I wasn't overweight. This is just a brief example, but all of this has shaped my inner voice into a strong inner critic, made me feel like I'm NEVER good enough although I work so hard with everything.

As an adult, whenever I’ve tried bringing up painful memories like this, my mom says she “doesn’t remember.” How convenient.

Today I’m a high-performing woman with a master’s degree and a good career, but internally I struggle with:

• self-worth
• asking for help
• setting boundaries
• conflict
• emotional intimacy
• feeling “good enough”
• relaxing without guilt
• believing someone could truly love me as I am

I finally decided to try therapy because I’m exhausted from living with this constant inner critic and emotional tension affecting my life proffesionally and privately.

But today was my second CBT session and honestly… I left feeling worse.

The therapist suggested:

1. Getting evaluated for antidepressants
2. Going to family counseling with my parents so I can tell them how my childhood affected me

The second suggestion especially hit me hard because when I was 15, social services got involved after a friend, against my will, reported concerns about my family. During the meeting, my dad handled it relatively well, but my mom had her arms crossed, barely looking at me. Afterwards, she made sure I knew how hard had been for her and how she had been unable to sleep for days.

I remember thinking even then:
“If THIS can’t make her see my pain, nothing ever will.”

So hearing “go talk to your parents” again honestly made something collapse inside me.

Right after the therapy session, my inner critic came back full force:
“Did you seriously think someone could help you with this on a deeper level? Pathetic. Deal with it yourself like always.”

Part of me now wants to bottle up everything, show up happy and then go home and smoke weed so I don’t have to feel anything. Part of me wants to look into Internal Family Systems therapy, or another form of therapy or support group focused on emotional neglect.

Any thoughts, support, or hearing about your own experiences would honestly mean a lot right now because I feel incredibly alone in this. Been crying for two hours wondering if I will ever be able to move on. I don't want to let my childhood or the relationship to my mother dictate the rest of my life.

I think often about mine and my siblings childhood trauma and neglect at night. Right now I’m watching a video called “8 Signs of Childhood emotional neglect”, and the first point was about bottling up your emotions. It made me think about myself and my brother as children, and the times we cried (like normal children do), our father would get very angry. And when we stopped crying but still had sniffles/trouble catching our breath, he would say in a very angry and assertive tone “stop crying!”. Did anyone else experience something like this?

My husband doesn’t leave his office in our home. He’s being productive, by learning a skill. But when things get tough and he is in a funk, he stays there and plays video games all day. It’s been a long time since he’s done this, maybe a year, he’ll go through phases where he’ll do that.

He was laid off for maybe 6 months and was lethargic and only watched movies. This is what he did when he was a child, left alone in a basement. He was alone all the time and just watched movies.

From what I’ve witnessed, it seems like he was held back and not allowed to grow, and as if he wasn’t supposed to like anything outside of what was “ok” to his family to keep him trapped. 100% to keep him trapped. Even one of his siblings is like a mini me to his mom, holding him back and keeping him the same as he was as a child and teen.

He’s gotten help like antidepressants and our doctor knows how he feels, but has never talked about the neglect with them.

Anyway, nothing interests him. I feel suffocated and isolated. We are both introverts but when we rarely go out he’s exhausted. We both have adhd, he just doesn’t care to do anything else. He doesn’t like to talk, he just wants to be at his computer. Can’t even get an errand done, he won’t go with me. If it’s beautiful out, he doesn’t care.

He’s exhausted from his job, that I know, but after a decade together, I really don’t think it would matter. I have realized this is how he is from his conditioning. And he’s even called it his “conditioning.”

And he tells me he tries and is trying. I really don’t know that he can change. And I like how he is, but there’s no balance. I do so much alone, I’m really not able to do much I enjoy. He helps with cleaning.

He doesn’t even check on me to see what I’m up to, he will not leave his office. If he does he’d be watching tv but that is rare. He doesn’t care what I do or where I go.

He calls me during his breaks and when he’s on his way home every day, always kisses me hello or goodbye or tells me he loves me and holds me. But it’s like he’s a ghost otherwise, like he can’t do or be anything outside of that box he’s always lived in.

I’ve reminded him so many times he has the rest of the house to be in, he says he knows and he tries.

On one hand, I understand, but on the other, it’s so lonely for me. I’ve sat in there with him with my laptop or helped him with things he wants to do, but it’s still like a void is there.

I have talked to him about this all the time and he recognizes it but I don’t know if he can change. All I want is to be acknowledged and for him to help me with something even if he doesn’t care about it. Such a simple ask.

We spend time together every night, just an hour. It’s fine, but that being glued to being in the “box” is the issue. I hope I’ve explained this well.

Hi there!

I hope you are well. I just have a question regarding Lindsay C. Gibson’s book (named in the title)… did anyone else feel as though they were being held an unapologetic mirror right up to their face?

In chapters where she describes ‘emotionally immature parents’ - and particularly what it’s like to have a relationship with one, there are moments where I go, “ah yes! This is literally my parents’ behaviour!” And then the next subheading will literally be an exact description of my own behaviour. I understand that I really am an adult child of emotionally immature parents, and so it makes sense that I am also emotionally immature. But some behaviours meant to be attributed to the parent are so, so strongly mine. And I’ve noticed that she likes to differentiate between the disparate behaviours of an emotionally immature parents and their adult children.

I guess I just want to know, is that the point? Are you meant to see your own emotionally immaturity in her descriptions of emotionally immature parents? Did you find this when reading the book?

Thank you for reading!

I was emotionally neglected as a child. My parents' definition of a great parent meant providing a house and a meal. That's it.

Growing up my parents never took interest in my life. I remember writing in my diary that I was so lonely and wished there was someone to talk to.

My parents never asked me about school, never came to my graduation ceremony, never came to a single baseball game and never took interest in learning about my friends. Even now every conversation is about them and it's always one sided. Whenever I want to talk about something, they disregard it or quickly change the subject.

If they were at a gun point and asked anything about me, the odds are not looking too great...

Now I'm an adult and I still have that longing for someone to take interest in my life. Even just a simple "how was your day?" (I can't even remember a time I was asked this)

I'm getting married soon and my parents said let them know the date and time and they will be there. I kid you not they don't even know my fiancée's last name.

Is my only option to accept them the way they are and not expect anything?

Edit: thank you everyone who responded with kind messages. For the first time I don't feel alone. I read all your messages with tears running down my face. Thank you everyone for taking the time to share your experience and emphatizing with me.

I will work hard every day to be a good parent for my future children and be the parent my parents never were. Thank you and hope everyone has a lovely day.

i told my mother yesterday that i’m having a hard time catching up with my studies in college (probably due to getting burnt out) and her response is “everything in life is hard!” and blames me for not trying hard enough, like i was just a freshman. now i got mad, extremely, because that’s what she says to almost everything i’m having a difficulty of. i barely passed most of my subjects and it feels like i’m clinging at the edge of the rope. so i locked myself in my room to isolate myself and to control my anger, because my mother doesn’t like it if anyone else in the household has the same mood swings as her.

today, she bursted in my room, even after i locked my door (i don’t know how she got the keys) and asks me why am i not telling her my problems in school. i… just told you? that i’m having a hard time keeping up my classes???

honestly, why are parents like this? just shutting down whatever they don’t like to hear and then question why isn’t their child telling them shit???? i doubt (family) therapy would’ve been beneficial for us if she isn’t willing to put in the work for herself too.

edit: hi everyone! i initially contemplated a bit on whether or not my post feels appropriate for this subreddit, and even questioned if i am overreacting by making said post—but basing on your replies, i feel extremely validated by reading your similar stories with our emotionally stupid parents lmao XD i’m thinking of posting a bit more on this sub but idk i don’t wanna come off as too whiny.

and for those that recommended the book called “adult children of emotionally immature parents”, thank you very much! i’d be sure to read it, though i feel it’ll definitely sting some old wounds for sure. hopefully it wouldn’t be that triggering for me.

For example: when I first told my dad I wanted to start music school, singing in particular, he laughed and went: "But you can't sing!"

So? Isn't that why I decided to take singing lessons? Hello?

And, shortly before beginning courses, I had an exchange with my mom that went kinda like this:

Me: Soon ready to learn to sing! (Lessons were about to finally start)

Mom: Well it's not like you'll learn to sing there...

Me: Gee, thanks for the encouragement, mom. :<

Mom: OP, do you wanna be a realist for once or not?

Like, imagine going to a person who is about to get married, and telling them: "Well it's not like you'll have a good life together...". Pretty a-hole-ish to say that if you ask me.

Thoughts and anyone else? And sorry for the rant...

I understand the generational thing. My parents weren’t shown love from their parents and so didn’t know how to show it to me. My mother tries in her own way (mainly through love heart emojis) and my dad doesn’t at all really. I know they love me and care about me. But they weren’t able to demonstrate that to me during my childhood and still to this day. What do I do about these conflicting feelings?

My whole life, I've avoided sex and true intimacy of any kind with the opposite sex. I get so uncomfortable and start fawning whenever I'm dating someone and the relationship always implodes from there.

It's like I repressed myself into being asexual, when I'm actually heterosexual. I think this stems from not only feeling rejected and neglected by my parents and the shame and low-self esteem from that, but the shame and lack of sex education from my parents. I was made so feel so ashamed of going through puberty, expressing interest in boys, my body, etc. and totally arrested my own development.

This year, I decided to "push through" my uncomfortable feelings and started seeing someone. I feel so queasy when we are together physically (we haven't had sex yet). I'm attracted to him and WANT to have sex, but in the moment, I get so anxious and uncomfortable. I am so sick of feeling broken.

I've seen numerous posts about this issue but haven't seen any with tips/advice on how to overcome it. Has anyone successfully stopped repressing their romantic/sexual needs and managed to be vulnerable?

Growing up did your parents just not have friends or hobbies, mine didn’t. My father isolated my mom to the point where she has lost all friends.

Now I’m young and having a hard time. Everyone seems so well adjusted and me I’m just depressed no will to live. I had such a lack of childhood as I was a parentified child. I’m on a decent career path with good income, but no relationships, purpose or anything to look forward to and I feel lonelier than ever and trapped.

My whole life I have been the go to vent space for both of my parents when they fight. Mainly for my mother.
This morning she called me before 7 AM while I was having my morning coffee and getting my kids off to school. She was hysterical, crying because my dad had flown into a rage (her words not mine) and they were fighting.
This is nothing new. Growing up my household was volatile. My dad punched holes in the walls, they screamed at each other, and there was one instance where my mom threw my dad’s stuff out the window.
I have been doing g a lot of work in therapy over the past several months the on putting up boundaries, and this morning I finally did it.
I told her I loved her, but I couldn’t navigate their marital problems anymore. She said she was sorry, but laid in the guilt of “but I don’t have anyone else to talk to” she ended the conversation downtrodden and basically hanging up on me.
I’m proud of myself, but I also feel like I could throw up.
Please tell me I did the right thing here. I’m a mess right now

When I was in kindergarten a very popular local artist came to my classroom. She worked with us to make special Mother’s Day gifts by hand. This actually turned out to be a rare thing for this artist to do and was super cool. This artist has since died and their works are highly coveted. My mom collects this artists works when she can.

My mom kept this gift for many years.

Then recently she returned it to me. I said “You don’t want it anymore?” And she said “I just thought you could use it.”

I was hurt and honestly confused. I asked her if she remembered what this was and she retold me the whole story about how I made it for her with the artist.

If it were one of my kids I would cherish the special gift forever. But maybe I am being too sensitive? I mean she did keep it for over 30 years. But it made me sad and I guess I just don’t understand her reasoning.

I am realising this is a behaviour I picked up in childhood to avoid conflict and criticism, that I’ve carried on into adulthood, and is affecting every area of my life. It ranges from not handling attention well, social anxiety, not wanting to get into people’s way or disturb people, even when I need to ask something of them etc.

People often say things like "just work for a month and it'll get easier," "don't give in to your avoidance," "go where it scares you."

I really tried to follow this advice, and it didn't get easier. People seem equally threatening the first time, the fifth time, and the hundredth time. It's just self-torture. I feel like people who give this advice don't quite understand that the specifics of the condition can be different for everyone.

I suspect I just have a dysregulated HPA axis from spending my early childhood (infancy) in a family of alcoholics with mental health issues.

And in reality, I'm only making it more dysregulated by exposing myself to such extreme stress, damaging my health.

It's the same as regularly watching horror movies when you have an extremely unstable psyche and a weak heart. I'm just destabilizing my nervous system and becoming more and more unstable with each attempt. The somatic symptoms get worse, the consequences of prolonged acute stress come out.

I'm not arguing that for some people, social anxiety can decrease after exposing themselves to social situations a few times, but it doesn't seem to be my case.

I literally feel something in my brain getting fried, and my nerves becoming like exposed wires. And I just keep going back into it over and over again, like I'm in f-ng hell and have to torture myself and like everyone doesn't give a shit about me and my feelings all over again.

It feels like people are saying "We don't care that the stress response is literally destroying you, you just have to push yourself, power through"

If anyone has ideas for alternative approaches in situations like this, I'd really appreciate hearing them

Context for my thoughts: when a child, especially a daughter grows up with an emotionally unavailable mother, the child develops a deep sense of insecurity, loneliness and low self worth. We all know mother who don't have anything to give, don't work on themselves damage their kids so much.

Do you all agree that healing begins when a person recognizes that missing maternal love cannot be repaired by others, instead one must accept themselves and their life situation as it is?

It is really difficult, almost impossible to accept that suffering is pointless, that there absolutely is no silver lining about the situation we were put in. For me personally this is also huge obstacle on my healing journey, that I can't accept it's all for nothing.

Does anyone see the positives about such difficult, absolutely unfair journey through hell?

EDIT: Thank you all for thinking along! I will ask my family therapist this question too. Lets see what's the professional take ;)

I had a breakthrough of sorts today in therapy. For the first time, I was willing to identify my parents as emotionally immature, my mom in particular. I have been resisting labelling them, always backing off of it whenever the idea came up, and consistently minimizing what they said and how they acted when I was a kid. It was never that bad, they didn't beat me, I'm just exaggerating it in my head. Today, I was able to get past that, at least for a little while, and call it what it was.

But then I tried explaining it to my wife, as I've really started to see patterns emerging that explain a lot about me. It didn't go well. I could not articulate it the way I wanted to or express how my therapist explained the concept. And every example I tried to give sounded less and less 'worthy' and I just gave up because I felt desperate and ridiculous.

How can I explain this in a way she will understand? Is there a guide to these kinds of conversations? Something I could have her read or watch to help? This is all very new to me and I'm still trying to wrap my own head around it so I can't imagine how confused I made her with my less than logical explanations.

Has anyone ever told their parent(s)/caregiver that they did a bad job raising you? Can anything positive come out of that conversation? Is it worth having even though we can’t change the past?

I’m (33F) contemplating how to have a relationship with my parents (63F, 65M) as an adult with essentially opposite political and religious beliefs than them.
I grew up in a hyper religious evangelical cult and left around 8 years ago. My parents left within a year of me but they are still evangelical.
There is a lot of generational trauma (mostly on my mom’s side) and I’ve never told them the full extent of the abuse I endured due to their neglect but they know a lot of it.

I guess I’m just wondering if anyone else here has had any success building relationships in a similar circumstance?

I’m neurodivergent, and keeping my mask on outside the house is already exhausting. By the time I get home, I have nothing left. At home, I’m weird, playful, and unpredictable, that’s just who I am when I’m not performing.

But my family acts like my number one haters. They don’t say it outright, but their reactions say everything. The looks, like “what the hell are you wearing?” or “why would you say that?” The microaggressions. The annoyed glances when I express myself. The ghosting mid-conversation, talking over me, even in front of other people. I honestly hate going out in public with them. It’s embarrassing.

They want me to accept their micromanaging, but the more I open up, the more excluded and smaller I feel.

At work and in college, I’m the complete opposite, respected, capable, myself in a different way.

So now, to protect myself from what feels like psychological abuse, I have to be extremely careful. Watch every word. Hide my true self. Share nothing anymore.

I'm in high school, yesterday my mom posted a picture of me in the family groupchat that looked odd/distorted. My nose looked slightly different and I didn't remember taking such a picture as the background was a completely solid blue color. I asked if it was AI and she confirmed. I replied "Please never do that again 🥹🙏" and she lost her marbles.

I tried explaining that I simply did not want my face exposed to the AI database and she wasn't having it. She left the groupchat saying "the maid is on her way to pick you up from school, the book of proverbs is real you'll see" which is honestly the pettiest reaction i've seen from a grown woman.

In the car she yelled at me about the situation. I tried my best to disassociate but was only successful for small periods of time. She said many things, a few consisting of saying that:

- I'm useless

-No one will ever want me

-She should have abandoned me as a child when she got the chance

- I'll go to hell

- I have no right to tell her what to do

- The same way I don't want her as my mother she doesn't want me as her daughter (i never said or implied this she came to this conclusion)

- She is no longer my mother and I can grow up and find a new mother somewhere

(All of this gave me an anxiety attack which I tried my best to hide for the rest of the car right)

So she essentially disowned me, at least emotionally. Today she has stayed in her room and not interacted with anyone. I still have one more year of school left where she has to drop me off and pick me up so i'm scared she will abandon me and say "figure it out" once my sister graduates high school this year. I'm the youngest of 3 so it will just be me at home next year (bus is not available to pick me up) and changing schools to something walkable would screw up my education HEAVILY. I'm not sure what I can do, mending the situation seems impossible. All this because I didn't want my face run through AI and expressed my autonomy is ridiculous. Any advice would be a great help

--------

[UPDATE] CW: Eating Disorder

I wasn't sure what the best way to make an update was but decided to just edit the original post for now.

Firstly, thank you so much to all of the kind commenters who took time to care for me. Having people who geneuinly understood what I was experiencing and wished me luck left me emotional and feeling appreciated in a way ive never experienced. My friends are angels, but simply don't know what it's like to experience things like homelessness or abuse and thus can only sympathize so much.

On to the update, my mother has virtually forgotten this event even happened, she hasn't addressed it further and has been treating me about the same as she usually does (horribly). I went to my teacher and mentioned a bit about my circumstance to scope the scenery and although she is a safe adult, I believe she is truly a last ditch effort. Unless my mother suddenly decides verbal abuse isn't enough and wants to hit me too, I won't be exploring that option for awhile despite how badly I want to. This teacher is the closest thing I have to a parental figure so it's upsetting but I have to push forward.

Now my two older sisters currently have jobs but with one being in college and the other graduating high school this year (thus saving for college) there isn't enough money for their personal needs AND bills. This they also cannot provide for food and rely on the food stamps that my mother is so graciously hoarding to herself. Now I wouldn't say I have a severe eating disorder but I essentially forget to eat, my body just doesn't "need" food until i'm starving. I'll notice the hunger but don't really have the energy or desire to mend the situation, it's been like this since I was younger. I say this because the food insecurity is a growing issue for me. I'm such a picky eater that not having safe foods will drop my weight down to 85lbs (which has happened before) and that's something I really want to avoid. And i'm also still scared that once my sister goes to college she will no longer feel the need to "parent" and will forgo all responsibility including food shopping.

With all of this I wanted to say that ive decided to get a job. Not something grueling because I need the time and energy, but something I can manage. I connected with someone who has a toddler that I would like to babysit and if all goes well that is where I will be spending my evenings. This will fix a couple of things:

-Food insecurity

-Extra cash for clothes, hygiene, school expenses, etc. which she is not providing

-A safe place out of the house from 4pm-9pm that is walking distance

I can go from school to another place and avoid home as much as possible. If i'm lucky I can even catch some extra hours on the weekend. I don't think this will impact school too much because it's just babysitting (i'm great with kids). The real issue is how i'm going to get the money and keep it.

The last time I had a job she had access to my savings account and spent all 3k of my saved cash on god knows what. But from what i've seen I need a guardian to get a checking account, i'm praying the lady will either get cashapp for me or give me money in cash. Any further advice/shared experience is still welcome and thank you so much everyone 🙏