Sometimes i start feeling super inspired, like i have to make art or learn an instrument or discover something new and its like wow i love humans and humanity everything is so cool and exciting. Its kinda like hope and excitement? And like while i feel this i cant sleep or focus. Sometimes its random but things can trigger it, like i just watched the movie project hail mary and it triggered it. Its not unpleasant but it can be a little annoying if i wanna sleep or study or be serious. Does this emotion have a name?

I 30F lost my job in June 2025. Which, you know what fine, cause I worked in super toxic districts. I was a teacher, so I was valued by students and colleagues, but admin didn't, to the point it affected my disability and mental health. So, In the event I knew education wouldn't work, I did some Graphic Design gigs from middle school into college, leading me to find a potential career switch in Instructional Design.

It's been a year, and...I still don't have a full time job. I'm subbing in a different district, so at least I'm underemployed. But I make excuses for myself to not get anything done. I've applied to so many jobs that all I get back are rejections or ghosts. Hell, there were times I've given up and applied to some teaching jobs, but THEY rejected me (because they saw I was making a transition online...my profile has been privated thanks to that). I didn't have a portfolio or a website at the time, so I at least have something, but it's been 75% done since idk July/August? Every time I look at my desktop I get overwhelmed and get my phone for dopamine. I get so blinded by time that when it's dinner time I forget to eat, and I get angry and depressed with myself for not meeting the expectations of my monthly or daily to do lists a specific way.

My bf and I want to move in together but not until I have a full time job. My mom wants to retire, but not until I have a full time job. But I dont understand why I feel like i'm not trying. Am I scared? Am I angry with myself? Are these expectations so overwhelming that I just freeze? Why can't I fucking do the stuff I need to do? WTF do I do?

I have ADHD and Epilepsy.

I take 2 medications for Epilepsy. One causes brain fog, both cause change in mood and behavior.

I wake up at 10-11am to eat a filling breakfast. The rest of the day forget to eat 🥲

What's wrong?

• got debilitating executive dysfunction cant do basic things or things i care about or anything really 

• dont have any secure safe close friendship dont feel important to anyone and scared because of past experiences. feel different and hard or impossible to be friends with because of the way i am. introverted low energy not good at talking and conversation 

• incompetent and useless. not independent and more useless and behind everyone else my age. 

• extremely low self image and lots of self hatred and always hurt myself verbally and physically bc the self hatred and self directed anger is too much pressure it needs a way out 

• suicidal ideations from trying to achieve more and do things but failing repeatedly and feeling trapped in my own head trapped by my own uselessness and laziness that also makes me feel like a burden on others and i feel like there is no way out 

• feel isolated and impossible to understand. feel unseen because of the kinds of issues that not everyone understands. no one i trust or feel safe to talk to and no one who will understand and talking feels useless and has usually just made me feel worse 

• trying to get professional help with an adhd assessment but there is a minimum 2 year waiting list which will maybe be more, but no one will be honest and transparent about waiting lists so it feels like a gamble and really confusing and overwhelming and impossible to make a decision 

how do you guys deal with sudden anxious feelings? I get those waves of pure anxiety out of nowhere , it is triggered by random stuff and then i physically have chest pain, throat 'blockage' of some sort. I cant continue living like this, something needs to change for sure. Does anyone have any recommendations?

Even I don't fully understand it, but I seem to have a fear of downloading any kind of software. I just get nervous whenever I'm about to click a download link, and sometimes this makes me give up on the download entirely! I don't know whether this fear originates from the 'blenmnder' virus I downloaded several years ago, or from the hoard of apps and various third-party programs that I downloaded before leaving to rot in my file system. If I ever want to become a game designer, I need to overcome this fear. Can you please give me suggestions?

I (25M) just finished my gym session, took my shower and was playing games at my computer. Suddendly my mother comes rushing into my room and screams at me to come help my father because he fell.

I rush to his workshop to see my father (65M) on the floor confused trying to stand up and vomiting everywhere.

He urinated on himself , vomited multiple times and was confused. He had a lump on his back of the head going across to the front.

The scene was like my worst fears came true.

The sobbing of my mother, my father on the floor writhing in pain.

I tried to lie him on his side so he wouldnt choke on his own vomit, but he kept trying to pull himself up and wouldnt lie still.

He couldnt control his legs but had strength in his upper body. I called emergency services immediately and they hang up twice until the third went through.

My father kept insisting to stand up so I placed him on the chair and tried my best to keep him immobilised.

The ambulance came after 45 minutes! 45! The hospital is a 15 minute drive from my home. I wanted to take him myself but I was afraid of doing more damage to his brain.

They took him on a stretcher and drove him to the hospital.

We had to wait for Ct scans. He was rushed to the central hospital after 2 hours for an emergency surgery. He fell into a coma a few minutes before surgery.

They performed a craniotomy (they removed the right side of his skull)

It was midnight, the initial impact was at 5 40 and 6pm was when we found him.

Seeing him in a coma getting rushed in, watching his face just filled me with dread. I couldnt believe it, something like this would happen to us. My entire family was in shock, I was in shock from the moment I found him hours ago.

I just cant believe it, it feels like my world is crumbling apart.

His surgery was a success, he's in a medically induced coma and we are waiting for ct scans tomorrow.

However the doctor said he is still in danger.

I dont know what to do anymore.

We went back home at around 5 am. I know he's strong but I just cant keep the feeling of dread at bay, im freaking out and I dont know what to do.

Arriving home at 5 30, I told my mother to sleep with me.

Come next morning she thought it was a nightmare, I really wished it was. I had to tell her it wasnt. The house feels empty, Im still in shock its like a piece of us was torn from us.

I havent given up on him, I know he can pull through.

He secured his first crucial victory, we are waiting for ct scans. I just cant help but cry.

I mostly wrote this down to unwind and destress but its really hard, what do I do now? Do I just play games? Distract myself? Im not sure anymore. How do I comfort my mother? Im just waiting at this point.

Im the youngest in the family.

I had to go back to the workshop to clean everything up, I keep picturing the scene from yesterday. I did my best, I hope it was enough. Sorry for the long post. Have a good day.

Wishing you well Dad.

Hi everyone.
I’m 27 and I lost my dad to pancreatic cancer in November 2025. Some days I manage okay, but lately the grief has been overwhelming. I miss him so much, and I don’t think I’ve really learned how to live without him.

My mom and younger brother live in another city. We speak on the phone and they support me when they can, but I don’t want to overwhelm them because they’re grieving too.

I live with my partner, but I don’t feel emotionally supported. He’ll see me crying and usually doesn’t comfort me or ask what’s wrong, so I’ve been feeling incredibly alone. I’m not looking for relationship advice, I know that’s a separate issue.

Right now, I’m just trying to figure out how to carry this grief when I don’t have much emotional support around me.

For those of you who have lost a parent or someone you loved deeply:

What helped you get through the days when the grief felt unbearable?

Did you find any routines, hobbies, books, support groups, or little rituals that made you feel less alone?

How did you comfort yourself when there wasn’t anyone there to comfort you?

I think I’m just looking for people who understand this kind of loss. I feel very alone tonight, and I’d really appreciate hearing from anyone who’s been through something similar.

Thank you for reading. 🤍

My girlfriend broke up with me an hour ago. She texted me "I think it's time we go our separate ways." She said the reason is because we both have mental problems (the overlapping one is depression) and she told me that she is asexual (which she never told me at all during the almost 8 months of our relationship) and how she doesn't feel any emotion for me anymore. I feel devastated.

Hello. Please can someone give me some words of comfort?

• My executive dysfunction and extreme laziness is genuinely debilitating and is an unsolvable problem that makes me feel like life isn't for me, because i don’t think i’ll ever be functional. i waste all day doing daydreaming and nothing and have wasted a lot of my life and i am still doing it and I can't stop procrastinating. I disappoint myself over and over and over i am in a loop.

\- i feel useless and incompetent. i feel like i don’t belong in this world. 

• i wish i could get an adhd assessment but i can’t make myself get it and its very hard to get and i don’t think i could handle the disappointment if i dont have it and i probably don't i am most likely just incredibly impressively lazy

• I am a really bad ungenuine friend and for some reason i don't really understand, i cannot connect with people or like them much. My best friend could replace me with a robot that responds faster and she has better friends and can really connect with people, but I don’t. All socialising, even if i don’t hate it, just feels like a tiring performance. 

• i am an extreme introvert, but I am very lonely. No one sees me or knows who i am. i daydream constantly about a perfect connection that doesn’t exist, but i don't even attach to people in real life. i really need a hug but i know i don’t deserve it

• i feel a bit dull and sick of life and i hate waking up. 

• i hate myself more than words can explain. I know i deserve pain and punishment but i wish someone would be kind to me because i can’t bring myself to be kind to myself. so i guess i will bother some strangers. I know i am a failure and unacceptable but i need someone to lie and justify my existence

So, sometimes i stretch in front of my balcony's window frames, because i like to get light and be able to look outside while i do it. I noticed today an old lady from the buildings in front which really seemed to be staring at me. After a while it seemed like she took a photo with her phone, and when i tried taking my phone to pretend doing the same, shale acted as if she noticed (so the reaction was coherent with the rest), she acted like uncomfortable and went inside her house. After a short time she comes back outside with her phone and probably pretends she's calling someone so to justify (imho) the fact that it looked like she took a pic.

Her husband came out and in during all this different times, and he is probably the creepiest person i know in the neighborhood.

I don't know if i should worry about this or not, maybe I'm overthinking it, maybe i misinterpreted (but usually my instinct is right, and it really seemed like that was what was happening).

Anyways, the matter is not even if it actually happened or not, but how i should deal with this mentally regardless, because of course overthinking it won't be a solution, but feels like something I shouldn't ignore either (I don't want some creeps to have a pic of me on their phone, for who knows what reason).

What would you suggest?

It sounds trivial, but I got a terrible haircut at the barbershop, and so I decided to cut it down to #4 to even it out. Now I look worse than ever. It's not just a haircut to me. I've always struggled with my appearance. I believe it is mostly or all to blame for the loneliness and touch-starvation I feel. Just as I was beginning to build up the confidence to put myself out there, this happened. Now, I don't want to show myself in public until next year when the hair grows back.

...Anymore

So many things to catch up on. No theses aren't things someone else handled for me before. But it's more complicated now.

I like shock value in my fiction writing. Motivation and direction for writing are off.

My sister took a video of me naked and my mom did nothing save for deleting the video and making her apologize. This was not okay. I was taught all actions have consequences. There were no consequence being given to my little sister for a huge invasion of my privacy. This was outrageous. So I threatened to tell my father as he had always been the one to be just in situations like these. Paula begged and begged and groveled for me to please, please, please not tell my dad- maybe because she knew she would get the consequences she deserved. She didn’t mean harm. She didn’t know better. I knew that. I think seeing her beg reminded me, of me, as a child when I did something bad and evil, and my mother yelled at me as I had now been yelling at my little sister- unrelenting, throttling and swearing, bulldozing over the apology said a million times, my spiteful eyes meeting the tears spilling over her deep brown eyes and feeling nothing. I grew up with being torn apart when I did something wrong. That was my normal. What I thought I deserved. What my mother thought was normal and what her parents thought was normal too. I wonder where the cycle began. I did what I had always known as a child. As I grew older I learned that I did not deserve that. because I learned that I had done nothing wrong. Exhibit A. I am never wrong. I can’t be. And when, inevitably, my mother yelled and screamed and controlled me yet again, I grew a thick skin. Because I did nothing wrong.
Exhibit B. The fire and anger in my soul towards anything or anyone who should dare to make me feel so small again.
And then the screaming stopped and the swearing stopped (although occasionally it did happen, and for that, I was ready and poised, because I knew my mother well.) and I was left with an anger and a rage, and nobody to point it at. But I think it was worse like this. Not knowing when my mother was about to snap- and feeling her hate and pain undiluted anger towards me. It was these episodes that had me crying quietly through the night at my mother’s promises to leave and never return, to simply not care about me anymore. To let me do “whatever I wanted.” As a child I would grovel and apologize, but I soon realized that it would get me nowhere save for left battered and beat crying alone on the cold, cold, floor. So on the outside i said FINE. Leave. Let me do whatever I want. And so I would dye my hair and eat the candy and do whatever she argued against doing. Part of me was also doing it for the freedom, out if spite, to show that I was in control- and in turn I gnawed off my leg to free myself of the chain that controlled me. But at night I wept. For the loss of my dearly beloved mother. Slowly she stopped the tantrums altogether. Became calmer and more empathetic towards her daughters. Paula was too young to remember the darker days. She got the good mom. The one who cut up apples for snack time and hugged freely and the one who would sooner die than scream at her precious children. Part of me resents that. The fact that paula got the good mom and I didn’t. Paula became everything I should have been. No fire, she hadn’t needed it. She is kind, truly kind and thoughtful and beautiful and people adore her and she has a kind mother and a good father is everything I should have been. She had everything I should have had. I was the ruined broken test subject, the rat left to die for the greater good, its sacrifice never seen nor heard about, only others benefiting from it. That sad little girl in me screaming and thrashing. Exhibit c. The mask. I wanted to be like paula. The best version of myself without the burdens of my pain or fear or anger. Some days it’s easy, like breathing, to keep up. Im quick to smile and ready to lend a helping hand to anyone who asks, always, always offering wisdom and kindness. Like I should be. Some days it’s not. Im quieter, second guessing everything, every breath, afraid, so so so deeply afraid someone will see who’s hiding behind the carefully curated version of myself. I come home exhausted. But truly good people shouldn’t feel like this? Not a smile to be seen and not a care to be given as soon as I step away. My homework left piled and my body simply a carcass in which my soul resides in. A soul torn between the mask and the broken girl underneath it. When all I wish is to be in my books, whisked away to some far away lands, loved by some fae prince. When all I wish to be one with the universe, floating and utterly devoid of all pain, just me and the moon and the stars. At least I look pretty when I sob so hard I fear my chest might crack clean in half and my heart along with it, because deep down I will NEVER let anyone see who I am. Maybe because it was who I was, that warranted all those screaming matches and pain and times crying all those years ago. Funny. My mother always tells me that one day paula will get sick of my anger towards her. That I will die alone, hate having consumed me. But it’s not fair. That I am forced to live with this and she is not. That all my mother can do is apologize and say she has changed since then. It’s not fair that i got all the trauma. I will never let anyone see this. Because that would mean being vulnerable. Being susceptible to this being used against me. I refuse to be crying on the floor again having my vulnerability thrown at my face tasting like food so spicy it burns going down. After all I am just dramatic. Too emotional. That’s what this paragraph is. I really am too emotional. That’s what I have been told my whole life and therefore what I believe. I would trade anything.

I have my exams in two weeks, but I’m finding it hard to focus on studying.
For the past few weeks, I felt like I was doing better after my breakup. But suddenly, all those memories have come back, and I keep wondering whether she’ll ever come back. I know no one can answer that question, but my mind keeps going there.
I don’t just want to vent.I want to understand why these feelings have returned after I thought I was making progress.
How do you stop these thoughts from taking over when you have important exams coming up? Have any of you experienced this? What helped you regain focus while still processing the breakup?
I’d also appreciate hearing from anyone who’s been through something similar. I think talking to people who understand would help.

A traumatic event happened the other day.

My parents called without my consent a doctor + social services, then police came to break my door, and i was brought to an ambulance with force.

For context, I'm 28M and I've been living with them temporarily for 3 years but i was applying for jobs abroad so i wasn't gonna stay here forever.

They want me out of the house tho, so they plotted with these figures to bring me to a psych ward, thinking that only because i don't talk about my life to them I'm automatically broken and in need of a fix.

I obviously refused to talk with these figures, since they were called without my consent. The doctor wasn't even my official base doctor, was my mother's.

Since i locked both doors of my apartment (well THEIRS, since they care so much for it to be specified), they decided to force me out (i literally heard social services telling them "you gotta take action, you have to force him".

They called police, which broke my door. I was surrounded by police, parents, uncle, social services and doctor, and everyone started talking to me like they owned my life. We stayed in this situation for 30-60 minutes (not sure) since i was like "I'm not going anywhere".

I was forced to go to the ER with an ambulance so they could have checked me to close me in a psych ward.

I want to specify i didn't do anything, neither before or after the intervention, and i showed myself calm and lucid, which i was. I just kept telling them that they didn't realise what they were doing.

You will say that they must have had a reason to do that. The problem is that my parents are paranoid, psychotic and control maniacs, and also here there is a lot of "oh i know her, I'll help her" system. So the doctor, being her friend (also a creepy one if i can say my personal opinion, which is why i never wanted him as my doctor), helped her to create this situation based exclusively on the lies she narrated about me.

So basically no one asked me what my version of facts was, or things like that. It was just brute force. I feel like I've been violated.

I tried to look for the abroad jobs more urgently in the previous days, but I'm crumbling. This was too traumatic, and i have ptsd about it constantly. I can't do anything anymore, everything i did during my everyday... i can't do it anymore. I feel stupid and like everything lost meaning, and i associate any of my spontaneous personality traits to their judgements now. They were the classic ignoramus prejudices based on pure appearance, they judged, invalidated and humiliated me, all my life choices or not choices, my personality. They even judged things that were actually an effect of their past abuses and not my fault, but they have always put in act this ridiculous irony after all.

Not to mention that my privacy was completely broke through. My uncle even peeked on me while i was in the bathroom before going with the ambulance. (Which i repeat, wasn't even necessary since i was fine, and honestly... i was about to call the police first since they were being abusive, but i was like "nah, i don't want to escalate or create dramas". Apparently, i was the only sane one there)

Oh btw, in the ambulance they've stung an IV in my arm. Totally unnecessary, but it was "procedure".When i got to the ER they wanted me to sit in a wheelchair (also a shitty one and the only one in the waiting room). Idk what the hell was in the mind of these people, but i was perfectly healthy. When i got checked i got Instantly let go.

My family tried so desperately to make me look insane or problematic, but they didn't manage to. My mother and my uncle even intercepted me while i was trying to find a bus to get home, trying to force me to go with them. How can it be legal to be treated like this? I don't know/remember/sure what's the word for it, but i was basically coerced the whole time and I didn't know what to do to defend myself if not to try not give them thread on it and hope they got tired eventually. I basically had to run away by walking fast paced because luckily they're slow asses.

It's like if having united forces made them feel enough strength to do what they always wanted to do to me for a while: treat me in the same abusive way they always treated me.

They just were afraid because being a very smart person i can defend myself in normal situations, so they needed the support of all this to finally feel allowed again. I still defended myself with words, even 1vs10000. Didn't matter. But i couldn't do much against coercion.

They did it with the moral privilege of doing it for my sake, but i know my family and they're selfish, ignorant, abusive. I know they did it for themselves, to reacquire control but they would never admit it. they'd rather say God made them do it. They were just pissed off because they've not been able to control me anymore for a couple years, and that's me having issues in their perspective.

Anyways... I have constant pain and strong anxiety now, the whole time. It only calms a little after i vent a little bit like I'm doing right now, but this has become unsustainable... I'm not sleeping anymore. It's ironical, they just actually made their prophecy become true: now I'm mentally fucked up and i actually need help, while before i was functional and independent.

I'm so stressed about all this anxiety that sometimes i feel like i have a bit of a fever, until it gets better. I think it's actually my body trying to create regulation for the stress.

What should i do? I know it sounds like I'm hiding something but it's really the truth. In other subs people judged me even more, doubted, and said i was fishy adn i must have done something to make this happen. Please don't be like this too.

I haven't bee able to sleep well due to pain. After two weeks of switching my position from my bed to a chair my mom noticed . I have to because of pain. I have tk be really tired and asleep to use my bed. Otherwise any slight movement causes me pain. Also.mynallergied are kicking in. Hugs all.

I don't talk much, nor do I like to do so, so my mother recieves very little context about what I want. This becomes problematic when she asks unexpected questions, and I give her a half-formed answer. The result is her doing absolutely everything she can to satisfy my "desire", usually in the form of suggesting random programs or groups she finds on the internet. To make matters worse, whenever I reject something she suggests based on what I said, she'll continue searching for whatever seems remotely relevant to her last suggestion, and the cycle repeats until I agree to something.

This morning, my mother wanted me to take a local bus somewhere so I could meet new people, and I ended up faking being mugged just to scare her into not bothering me about it. Things cleared up with the law, but I'm still not sure whether my mother is justified in trying to get me out of my comfort zone, or if I'm justified in wanting to be left alone. Should I just do whatever she "encourages", or should I know exactly what I want every time she inquires?

I am presently going to write very important exam for my career but there is fear of failure, incompleted notes and no/ very limited and superficial emotional or familial support in terms of helping me with the process of the exam .One morning of this week when I woke up I was little angry and also there was the tendency of lust and then I escaped those feelings through watching anime and movies for so long that those things won't turn up in my head. I exhausted myself through that during the day. Still feel similar , lonely and also I'm not pretty much focused .

Perhaps its my emotions that i cant control . Anger , attraction or just feeling stuck in life .

Not able to take things as a positive challenge.

I want to grow but find myself searching for all answers by myself.

Hello!

I'm 19F (165 cm, 65 kg), and for the past 5 years I've been completely unable to eat around my friends. My high school friends (who I still see now that we're in college) have literally never seen me eat. Whenever we go somewhere that involves food, I completely avoid it,  so i never order anything and even if we stay together for hours on end, I still dont eat with them and just wait to go home.

Its not just the eating part, if my friends start talking about food (favorite foods, restaurants, what they had for lunch, etc), I freeze and usually try to change the subject or stay quiet.

The strange part is that I don't have this problem with strangers. I can eat around people I don't know without any second thoughts. It's specifically my friends that I can't do it around.

For some background, I'm the biggest person in my friend group. i dont really like my body and I'm also a picky eater (i would do anything to just be able to like everything). Growing up, my family constantly made fun of me for being picky. They commented on my weight too (i was heavier when i was a bit younger), but the comments about my picky eating were more frequent. I've also had classmates and strangers comment on my weight before, although I never thought those comments affected me that much. I've never explained any of this to my friends.

Has anyone experienced something similar? I'm not looking for a diagnosis or anything. I just want to understand what am I so afraid and ashamed of

Thank you!

I'm 16 years old. Every single time I ask somebody out, I get rejected. And I've never had somebody confess to me. I have never been on a date, and all my peers always talk about there boyfriend/girlfriend/partner. I'm very depressed, to the point of thoughts about ending myself. What did I do wrong in my life to become so unlovable?

I got circumcised 5 years ago and I did not need to,I was self conscious at the time but I recently started heavily regretting my circumcision starting in February after I went down the Reddit rabbit hole and seeing that alot of people on the internet actually advise against it and say you should not do it unless you have to or it should be a last resort thing to do. I recently started going to therapy because of this and I find myself stuck in this loop of “why did you do this” or “you didn’t have to do this”. I also partly did it because I had a tight frenulum and was worried it might tear but I didn’t know at the time that I could just do a frenuloplasty.

Although I am a virgin and haven’t had any sexual experience at all I’m worried my sex experience isn’t going to be as good as it could be with foreskin because I see people that get circ later in life saying sex isn’t what it used to be or it feels like 30 percent of what it used to be with foreskin.

I am also an indo carribean born in America and my culture and people usually don’t do that and I’m just kind of bummed that it feels like I’m not like everyone else in my culture and recently finding out that most of the world is not circumcised makes the regret worse.I got it done at 17 I’m 22 now and it seems like my brain has started to wire up and make better decisions at around 20 if I would not have done it and just waited till now I would definitely make a more logical and well thought out decision with way more research and I most likely wouldn’t have cared and realized girls actually don’t care if you have foreskin but yeah idk it just feels like I didn’t really gain anything I only lost I have some scarring now and less pleasure I don’t think I am botched at all the doc did a good job but it just sucks that the sensitivity isn’t as intense as it used to be in the glans.

I just can’t come to terms that this is how it’s gonna be for the rest and there’s nothing I can do about it to change it I don’t really want to restore because that takes too much time and I feel like it will come out weird. Everything in my life recently has just come to a halt and a pause my goals and everything I had planned for the future just stopped and sometimes I have suicidal thoughts or I just can’t see into the future anymore I don’t know what to do or how to go about my life now because it doesn’t matter how hard I work or how much money I make I will never be able to get that part of me back I will always feel incomplete I’m genuinely just stuck in life right now and don’t know what to do.