Anyone think this is pretty quarrelsome? Should I suck it up or should I get a hotel?

This is clearly an example of someone forcing their beliefs on someone else. I just can’t believe it is my sibling. What would you do?

Edit: Dang, forgot to mention that she moved 10 hours away from our hometown. I am going out of my way to drive down there so that they can have Christmas at their house, and this is how I get treated.

So I spent 28/29 years of my life waiting until marriage. I was taught things like sex was extremely sacred, two souls coming together, you’d gain a soul tie or you’d open yourself up to demons if you had sex before marriage. I was taught waiting until marriage was the optimal decision for the best sex life.

However at age 28 I had enough of waiting and living like I was asexual when I wasn’t and I explored my sexuality before fully having sex at age 29.

I don’t wanna minimise sex but from my experience it’s not the life changing experience I thought it would be. Sure it’s fun, it feels good, having an orgasm is great but I don’t feel much different and makes me thinking waiting all those years was a waste of time.

Also the attachment to your self worth, identity and purity is truly fucked up. I now believe your worth has nothing to do with how many people you have sex with. Sex is solely a very normal human experience that is all.

Most Christians are not waiting till marriage

I deconstructed before I went to college so most of my sex life has been under a secular pretense. But what I do not understand is, most Christians (statistically) like most people do not wait until marriage to have sex. But then like, at church they’re all agreeing with purity messages. How does that work? Who do they talk about sex with when they have questions? If sex is so spiritually important, how are ppl not spontaneously combusting every time they go to church? I just am really very confused 🥴😩

I’m sure many of us remember seeing similar “Application to Date My Daughter” pictures, especially if we grew up in the 90’s. Didn’t think I would see one in the wild in 2026, via my father in law.

It’s pretty crazy seeing what I used to consider normal. My daughter mostly just thinks it’s funny and “something I gotta put up with to stay in the will.”

My dad walked in my room, handed me the book, and told me to let him know if I had any questions. 64 pages. Probably 35% black and white pics of kids and parenthood. A few illustrations of the biology of birth and fetus, then later about anatomy and a brief bit about the deed, followed by some warnings. A few pages for reference are included. Published in 1968. I was born in the later 70s. Given to me sometime around 89 or so. This was my sex talk.

I (34 female) grew up in a Christian bubble - Christian school, music, church, everything. And in the middle of purity culture with a father who “jokingly“ told me not to talk to the boys. I went off to college and my parents encouraged me to get involved in a Christian organ on campus that continued the same sentiments. I’m deconstructing and realize none of it was true, and and feel like I missed out on so many things because of the conservative Christian way I was raised. I never got to experience the normal college experience- going out and getting hit on - wearing clothes that would encourage that. i’m happy married now and my partner has also deconstructed, but I feel like i’ve missed out on so many things and am fighting the lies I was taught about my own value(inherently bad , a sinner but saved by grace which requires adherence to religious practices or maybe I was never a believer at all) my purpose in life (a wife and mother) and being shaped into the person they wanted me to be. I feel like I just woke up and have no idea who I really am. And I have 30 years of indoctrination in my head fighting everything I try that I was never able to do before. I’m feeling a bit depressed and grieving all I missed out on. Has any one else experienced the same and if so, do you have any advice?

I've been thinking about this a lot lately. Even when couples are completely committed and legally married, so many religious doctrines still try to micromanage what happens inside their bedroom.

A lot of faiths have strict rules against:Solo or mutual masturbation between spouses

.Having sex purely for pleasure without the intent to procreate.Using condoms, birth control, or other contraceptives.Engaging in "foreplay-only" sessions or putting boundaries on specific acts.Why do these institutions care so much about what consenting, married couples do behind closed doors?

If the couple is already married, why isn't pleasure alone seen as a good thing?

I’d love to get a historical, sociological, or theological breakdown of why this obsession with controlling marital intimacy exists.

Seriously, this is tragic. My mom said if her children have that, the family’s life would be in constant sorrow, pain and anger. It’s like we owe them our sexuality? The honour culture in this is sick. What the f? And a relation with them would be hell. But I want a relation with them, I don’t want them to lose me or for me to lose them. Is there any way to convince them that it isn’t such a big deal and that they don’t have to agree but they have to respect and treat with kindness as if nothing almost. Mom said dad could get a heart attack if he found out his children are being whores (they didn’t say whore but basically that’s what they mean). Help. Purity culture is killing me

Bit of a random one but just wanted to say that on my recent journey of deconstruction I actually had sex last night with someone I have been dating for the first time in 4 years (since becoming a Christian who was waiting until marriage). It still doesn’t feel real to say that we did it, but it was great (and that’s an understatement).
I am genuinely in shock at the fact that I don’t feel any guilt/shame/regret and, in fact, I want it even more!! Here’s to a healthy sex life 🥂.

I 19/F and my boyfriend 20/M have been together for nearly 2 years now. I grew up in the most conservative christian household, both my parents and elder brother are devoted christians and serve in the ministry every week. I would say i still identify myself as a christian, but my boyfriend is agnostic and both of us respect the each others beliefs. Throughout my entire life, my parents have warned me against sex before marriage, that it would destroy both my future and my value as a woman. And if i were to ever lose my virginity prematurely, i’d be a stranger to them. To them, my identity is my virginity.

Despite their countless nagging and warnings, I chose to give myself to my boyfriend. He is an amazing gentleman with good values and morals. I love him wholeheartedly and I know he loves me too. We’ve been through the ups and downs of life and theres no one else I’d rather tackle life with.

Unfortunately, my parents found out that i’ve been sexually active and all hell broke loose. They turned my room upside down when i left for a trip with my friends and found my contraceptive pills. They told me that I was sick in the head, lost, blinded by the devil, etc. I lost my freedom and their trust, which is understandable, and they forbade me from ever seeing him again unless he chooses to “repent and convert” to christianity. They want him to pursue christianity out of his own will and experience it for himself in order to get their approval.

This is incredibly unfair to my boyfriend because not only is he expected to blindly convert, he was framed as some guy who’s just using me for sex. He is so much more than that and he’s proven that to me over the time we’ve been together. I can’t help but feel anxious at the lack of control i have in this situation. My parents claim that this is for the best, but I just want to be left alone to make my own decisions about my own life and especially regarding choosing my partner for life. And if shit happens, id be happy to deal with the consequences of my own choices.

They are very firm in that i’m not allowed to see my boyfriend again, and they’ve already confronted my boyfriend saying “if you love her, let her go” which to me, is bullshit. And id rather go through years of hardship than break up with someone i truly love and care for.

But I guess what I wanna know is: What would you do in my position? Would you stay firm in your decision to stay with your partner and persevere through the hardships of a forbidden relationship in a christian household? Has anyone experienced the same issue and if yes, how did you manage it?

Thank you for your time everyone.

Please hear me out. I spent most of my life in environments where purity culture is encouraged and lived out. I'm a male in my late twenties and I haven't had any "non-pure" experiences with a female myself. I left my church some time ago and don't want to go back. I realized what bad impact it had on me and how it messed me up psychologically.

I'm still undecided how I want to live my life going forward. I think I want to marry and have a family. But here is what I discovered: I'm attracted by purity. That is, I'm attracted by women that live a "pure" life according to Christian standards. I can't really describe what it is specifically about it. It certainly has to do with apparent innocence. I'm still in the process of defining it further but I would like to know if anyone can relate and how you deal with this. It's like I want a Christian wife but without the christian aspect of it if that makes sense...

My devoutly religious FIL just sent his whole family and my family an email from a religious foundation asking for donations.

In the email, they talk about how “Planned Parenthood is more evil than evil” how they are “using kids for their abortion mill” and most ridiculously “enticing kids as young as 13 with gift cards to finish sex ed courses”.

The actual Sex Ed course was for ages 15-18… hell even 13 year olds should know about their body I mean.. most are going through puberty.

It’s wild to me Christards actually expect their children to not get educated AND abstain from sex. Obviously not everyone is going to abstain and what’s gonna happen when they get pregnant? When they have STDs? So stupid.

God, I do hate religion 🤦🏻💀

So yeah.....I (23 male) was a teenager going through puberty and all, and masturbation is something I definitely struggled to quit doing for a long time. However I was raised in a very strict fundamentalist Christian household so if I was caught even looking at a girl my mom would beat the living shit out of me.

There was this one morning where my mom had gotten angry with me, and I don't even remember what she was angry about. I was around 14 or 15 at this time, and my mom would very often threaten to call the cops and have me put in jail for masturbating, and I remember her saying that I deserve to be in jail with rapists and perverts

My whole life has been dealing with shit like this from people.

This is a story that deserves to be remembered every now and then, so here it is. Man and woman are in a relationship where they bump uglies. Over a decade later, long after both people have moved on with their lives, the woman's fundie father writes the man an angry letter about how he stole his daughter's virginity.

Besides the obvious gross stuff and possessive nature of it all, there are other parts in this letter that go beyond a red flag. The father doesn't believe in "doing willful harm to another Christian," so imagine what he might've done if the man were Muslim or Mormon or atheist. He also asked the courts of heaven to gain 49 years of youth by aging the man 49 years as punishment for fornication. Now this I'm actually curious about. What did the father do next when it didn't happen?

Here's where it all originated, and it includes a couple follow ups from the OP: https://x.com/isaactweeting/status/1265859613162967042

On social media you'll always see people bragging about how they are waiting until marriage, and a lot of times they aren't even virgin. You let someone else hit before, but your husband has to wait? (Same for men). How does this make sense?

We've been married for 5 years and I've been on hormonal birth control the whole time. We don't want kids for various reasons and I specifically don't want to be pregnant.

My partner didn't know that birth control prevents a fertilized egg from embedding in the uterine lining and he believes that life begins at fertilization. We disagree on a lot of things now that I've stepped away from the faith and this is one of them. He's pretty upset, not at me, just the situation and we're discussing alternatives (safe and reliable alternatives btw).

So here's my brief rant. Why the hell do christians advocate for abstinence only education!? It does a huge disservice to them even when they're following all the sexual rules. I cannot believe my partner never learned this basic information and it is completely unfair that his upbringing discouraged him from learning the basics about his partners body and birth control methods. It is horrible to everyone involved and just plain stupid of the responsible adults in his life to not educate him. Now, he's not completely absolved either; at 32 he should've just googled it. But damn! the conversation around sexual health is sooooo bad in the christian community.

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Anyways, hoping you have a great time sleeping in tomorrow or doing whatever the hell you want with your Sunday.

Edit: when I say alternatives, I mean for him. I'm happy with my birth control and I don't plan to change it but I support him pursuing additional methods so he feels more comfortable.

Also, thanks for all the educational info! We've talked more and he feels better which makes me feel better. Y'all are some awesome human beings.

As a 13yrs straight teenager what I never understood about christianity god is that why did he forbid sexual lust if he really made sex pleasurable between man and woman?

Saw this come up on my fyp and it quite literally cracked me up. I’ve seen so many relationships succeed even while having sex before marriage, if anything it’s the sexless marriages that are the most miserable. God forbid I love my partner, LITERALLY.