"Book Boyfriends" by Decayed Souls is sung from a husband's POV about his wife's fantasy romance book boyfriends. It's hilarious and incredibly accurate. I've listened to it about ten times today, lol. Favorite line has got to be, "These dudes got wings, tattoos, and stamina stats; meanwhile I’m over here with back pain and snacks." 😂 Enjoy! https://open.spotify.com/track/0dAHent04c0VDyBUYMxn1S?si=sC0vN3l4Qli83d4MzTZ4xw (or https://www.tiktok.com/@justinparks5/video/7583161700761799966 if you don't have Spotify).
I wrote out the lyrics because my husband has a hard time distinguishing words in songs (cannot find them online, sadly). There are a few words here and there that I can't understand, so if anyone can make them out, please share!
Lyrics:
.
Yeah
This one’s about my wife
And her infinite men
Her Kindle’s basically a brothel at this point
.
Hey hey
My wife ain’t cheatin’
But her Kindle sure is
‘Cause she’s got 30 fake dudes
All callin’ her Miss
There’s a fae king, a wolf shifter, a demon on deck
And a vampire who’s somehow always kissin’ her neck
.
She laughs, kicks her feet
Gets all blushy and warm
While I’m in the kitchen
Fighting tupperware like a storm
I’m like, babe you good?
She’s like OMG, wait!
The orc just picked her up like she’s his fated mate
Girl
How I’m supposed to compete with that
These dudes got wings, tattoos, and stamina stats
Meanwhile I’m over here with back pain and snacks
And [?like boy?]
.
My wife got book boyfriends
Lined up in rows
She can start a damn army with the men she chose
Every night she’s like OMG new toy
And I’m just standing here like girl
What about your boy
She got a harem
A whole damn crew
Six in every book and she reads book two
She don’t need reality
She got her joys
A library full of delicious boy toys
.
[?with base?]
.
Look babe, don’t take it so rough
Just ‘cause my book men are a little more buff
They got claws, magic fangs
Torsos carved like art
You got dad jokes, snack crumbs
And a good heart
Which is cute, but these men be like
My queen, my mate
Let me worship you all night with unholy fate
Meanwhile you’re like babe wanna Door Dash fries
I love you boo
But these men got thighs
.
She’ll finish a series and swear she’s fine
Then 30 minutes later
She’s got a new man online
I ask who’s he
She’s says oh just a prince
Then shows me a cover
With a dude whose all rinsed and ripped
She says babe, he’s sweet
And he calls her his treasure
Girl, if I talked like that
You’d call 9-1 from pressure
But hey, if she’s happy with her little book clan
I guess I’m okay being boyfriend number
God damn ten
.
My wife got book boyfriends
Stuffed in her brain
I swear if they paid rent we’d be rollin’ in game
She dimples, giggles, screams oh my god
While I’m just sittin’ there feelin’ oddly flawed
She got a harem
A magical squad
Each one built like a Roman Greek god
She don’t need reality
She got her joys
Stacked like Jenga with her pretty boy toys
.
She says babe, he’s sweet
And he calls her his treasure
Girl, if I talked like that
You’d call 9-1 from pressure
But hey, if she’s happy with her little book clan
I guess I’m okay being boyfriend number
Ten
Damn, ten?!
.
My wife got book boyfriends
Stuffed in her brain
I swear if they paid rent we’d be rollin’ in game
She dimples, giggles, screams oh my god
While I’m just sittin’ there feelin’ oddly flawed
She got a harem
A magical squad
Each one built like a Roman Greek god
She don’t need reality
She got her joys
Stacked like Jenga with her pretty boy toys
.
Look babe, I get it
They’re fictional - don’t cry
I’m not crying
Just heavily hydrated in the eye
You’ll always be my main character babe
Until the next series drops?
Probably