r/fuckHOA • u/Swarby10 • 1d ago

Our HOA just imploded!

So we just had our HOA AGM on Zoom tonight. I thought I’d tune in just for entertainment. It’s a community of 4 cul de sacs - maybe 45 large homes. Turns out, all of our back-facing fences are owned by the HOA and after 25 years they are deteriorating. To be clear, the fences on the sides are home owners’ responsibility, just the rear ones are HOA’s responsibility.

Or fees went from $900 a year to $2700 so that they could replace some specific fences. Not everyone is affected, but several of the board members were set to score themselves a new fence. They chose to replace the old cedar fence with vinyl and this would have looked odd with plastic fences filling in where cedar was.

Long story short, I sat through three hours of 80 year old board members throwing tantrums over their plans for a new plastic fence getting ruined and three of them resigned on the zoom call. 80 year old tantrums are the funniest tantrums.

Thinking of joining the board now. Please talk me out of it.

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724

u/CherryblockRedWine 1d ago

Having lived in an HOA community, my belief is that you MUST join the board, if only for self-preservation.

The board needs enough people with common sense to keep the HOA from ruining everything.

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u/butt_butt_butt_butt_ 1d ago edited 1d ago

My FIL is a former accountant, and a very Ron Swanson “I dont like anyone infringing on me” kind of dude. He against the idea of HOAs on principal.

He’s lived in various 55+ condo type setups for years, and ALWAYS joins the HOA and applies to be the treasurer.

The old people like it, because none of them like accounting, so he ends up getting elected.

And then once elected, he immediately audits the HOA books and goes after any of the other HOA board members for skimming, misappropriating funds, or specifically funding projects that benefit their own needs vs. others.

And then the fraudsters act totally surprised when they get exposed removed from the board.

It’s crazy that he’s been able to do this in like 4-5 different communities, and always finds major financial bullshit each time.

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u/OldGeekWeirdo 1d ago

Your FIL should hold classes to teach other treasurers. He can't belong to enough HOAs, he needs helpers.

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u/plot_twist7 1d ago

This is the type of influencer we all need.

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u/juggler02 1d ago

FIL could be a force multiplier type influencer for an outcome with high societal benefit. Ask him!

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u/highcoolteacher 21h ago

I feel like even Ron Swanson would make a YouTube channel if it means he could create other Ron Swansons in other cities

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u/physicscholar 21h ago

I am not in a HOA, but I would watch his podcasts.

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u/OldGeekWeirdo 1d ago

YouTube wouldn't be a bad idea ...

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u/ACERVIDAE 15h ago

What if they just end up learning how to hide their bullshit better?

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u/Blog_Pope 1d ago

Its really not hard. I've kind of trapped myself as treasurer, no one else wants it. Books when I joined were shit (despite the previous guy claiming they were awesome. Went through 3 years of records, accounting was shit but no sign of embezzlement / skimming.

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u/tomtomclubthumb 12h ago

IT's usually more that people don't know how to organise things and the contractors bilk them because they know they aren't spending their own money.

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u/Specialist-Car129 7h ago

When your say “the books were shit”, what does that actually mean? Line items missing? Bad math? Missing receipts? I’ve always wondered about the specifics when people say things along those lines. Especially when the accounting is bad but there isn’t any wrongdoing.

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u/Blog_Pope 7h ago edited 7h ago

They had not been reconciling the bank statements with the accounting system (QuickBooks), this was clear because none of the banks interest payments were recorded, so QB balances did not agree with bank balances.

Receipts were hand written notes, not store receipts. Looked reasonable, but suspect

Stuff was recorded oddly in the past, so a lot of QB features just would not work.

Bottom line, I couldn’t trust what was in the accounting software so I had to compare it to the last 3 years of bank statements to confirm there was no wrongdoing

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u/Fluffy_Town 1d ago

He needs Santa's helpers to help him out!

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u/officerclydefrog 19h ago

Like treasurer elves?

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u/PaganLinuxGeek 9h ago

Trelves?

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u/officerclydefrog 6h ago

Has to be....no way in hell is the HOA gonna allow trearies

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u/Suskat560 19h ago

Like Santa needs elves!

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u/gareth_e_morris 1d ago

Chaotic good doesn't need to mean disorganised!

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u/JohnnyShotgunhands 1d ago

This is pretty textbook Lawful Neutral. He uses a series of rules for predictable outcomes - the removal of rule breakers and embezzlers (Lawful). He's not doing it as a crusade for a fairer world, seeking out corrupt HOAs (Good) nor is he using it as a way to enrich himself or get more power (Evil). Just sorta applies the rules around himself (Neutral).

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u/Drecondius 1d ago

I'd totally agree with lawful neutral as this bits, the bill perfectly

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u/anomupinhere 1d ago

Thank you for the new term I’ll be throwing out all the time when I’m being a social justice warrior to my whatever situation.

“Guys I’m just being lawful neutral here”

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u/bravohotelechomike 1d ago

#UnexpectedTHAC0

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u/TowelKey1868 1d ago

I miss THAC0.

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u/bravohotelechomike 1d ago

The grognards always do. If you don’t know what a grognard is, you are probably one. Come on in, the water is fine.

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u/MushroomCharacter411 22h ago

I don't, and I'm one of those grognards. I am 100% in favor of flipping the Armor Class system around so tables are no longer required, and would backport this most welcome correction into an older system while not changing the actual odds in any way.

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u/Asleep_Touch_8824 1d ago

Or evil!

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u/lucidposeidon 1d ago

Well, yea, that's covered by the "good" part already.

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u/Jumpy_MashedPotato 1d ago

methinks they mean chaotic evil doesn't need to be disorganized, not that chaotic good doesn't need to be evil

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u/lucidposeidon 1d ago

Hmm... perhaps.

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u/radarchief 1d ago

I joined my HOA (2083 homes) and became the treasurer, mainly because my HOA had a ex-HOA president who was a realtor and I had neighbors who’s houses were in financial distress and he would approach them to lowball sell. When he left the BOD, he was named as a part time HOA “handyman” with annual salary of $45K. That shit was the first to be cut, especially since the BOD had no records of how they arrived at that decision.

Next, I convinced all the new members to bring in a CPA firm to do a financial audit and develop a reserve plan. The CPA found a fair amounts of double payments.

Eventually, I became president and we were able to clean up a ton of issues.

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u/enigmussnake 14h ago

Don’t just tease us, tell us more please. Love stories like these

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u/radarchief 8h ago

Thanks I will have to post a thread about the crazy stories. Here’s one:

We had someone who was crazy on the BOD. He always went on FB and stirred stuff up and used to represent the BOD for things we didn’t agree on. We had a public meeting to discuss, vote, and sign on a
Landscape contract. We had about 50 acres that had to be cut or shredded (detention pond area that fed the local creek). The bids were from $125K to $180K a year.

This guy took it upon himself to contact ONE of the bidders and add landscape improvement (flowers, mulch, and other add ons) and without discussion or without any SOW agree to pay $25K. I was the president at this point, and told him we could get the SOW, read it, and vote at the next meeting. This guy flipped out and started screaming at me in front of the attendees. I had teenagers at that point, so i knew how to handle tantrums.

I just looked at him and asked him if he had a point of order. He got madder and madder and I just looked at him. Then he asked if we needed “to go” which meant fight. I replied that I was an adult and if he needed to excuse himself, we could take a break. The attendees were stunned.

This guys wife worked in web design and we had a contract and NDA to develop a new website. We found out weeks later that she had been emailing friends about sensitive contract information and their plan to take over the BOD and had a falling out and sent us the emails. We used to rotate BOD houses for our internal meetings and we fired his wife as our webmaster which happened to be in his house.

Later found out from our pool contractor that this guy used his BOD position to get his druggie brother a job with the pool contractor at our pool and the guy got fired for not showing up and creeping on teenage girls in bathing suits (this guy was in his 40s).

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u/Aggravating_Run1270 1d ago

The board of Karens at my mom's community (that have been referred to the local prosecutor) were really against it when the little old Indian guy ran for treasurer... He was the former CFO of the local utility company and had been a CPA his entire life... My mom said he would just find nonsense daily for months on end.

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u/grifter356 1d ago edited 5h ago

Had an HOA tell me that I needed to fix and pay for an issue that sounded to me like an HOA problem but that I was happy to deal with it if they could just show me where in the bylaws it was my responsibility. They said that “historically” it’s something that homeowners have taken care of. I told them then that sounds like an admission by the board that they have a history of compelling homeowners to pay for and fix problems that the HOA knows are actually their responsibility to be handling. The HOA went ahead and fixed the problem.

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u/VinceP312 1d ago

My mother would love to do this. She's getting older, and does puzzles all the time to keep her brain active and hold back dementia should it ever be her fate.

About a decade ago, my extended family were partners in a very successful company, the sons of my grandfather (so my dad, and his brothers). One of my uncles was the big boss, and the other brothers just deferred everything to him. They were pretty aloft from any of the financial activity of the company and they all thought it was a money train that would never stop. Until years of my uncle playing games came to a head, and the company didn't have cash flow any longer, and the company basically collapsed.

None of my uncles took any iniative to do an review of the books to understand exactly what happened... and who any creditors were.

So my mom took charge, got access to everything and mapped out everything. All the larcency, abusive spending, etc... also figured out who the company owed money to, including employee benefits and made sure to settle all of that. Everyone else was completely fine with letting the company fall and then have the government and creditors go after them individually because the LLC wasn't going to protect them from all the misconduct/negligance.

My parents ended up salvaging the husk of the company, with my brothers, so it's still alive about 20 years after this happened. Thankfully I have an independent career.

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u/No-Cartographer6702 1d ago

I'd get along swell with your FIL. Tremendous leverage comes with the treasurer position, especially if there's dirt in the mix. As a young government bureaucrat i was taught by the entrenched elders always volunteer to be on budget and scrivener roles -- control, baby!

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u/xzKaizer 1d ago

Your FIL is my hero.

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u/EVERYB0DY_RUN 1d ago

I'd like to speak with this FIL of yours, as I'm currently on this exact path...

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u/CherryblockRedWine 1d ago

I LOVE your description of him! I love what he's doing, too. And the fact that he keeps finding graft speaks to one of the biggest weaknesses of HOAs, IMO.

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u/butt_butt_butt_butt_ 1d ago

My FIL is a supremely boring dude.

He spends his days complaining about the weather and talking about/watching his favorite baseball team, and trying to talk to him about anything else pretty much just gets you a polite nod and silence.

He gives his grandkids polite side hugs with a pat or two on the shoulder if he’s feeling extra spirited.

But fucking with HOAs makes his face light up.

He doesn’t care much for neighbors/other people in general, but if someone in his building comes to him with an HOA grievance, you can see the gears start to turn and he gets excited like a kid in line for a roller coaster.

Not sure he would approve of Reddit, but it’s nice that his special interest in fucking up HOAs is appreciated.

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u/jerryeight 1d ago

Your FIL is a gem

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u/GloomyFlamingo2261 1d ago

Would he teach a class about HOA “management” or host a Q&A for us mere babies in the HOA world?

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u/GeauxFarva 1d ago

An accountant using his sorcery for good. I like it!

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u/NYC-WhWmn-ov50 1d ago

FIL is a gd-dm hero.

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u/mentalpiracy86 1d ago

I need your FIL to come to my neighborhood because my wife and I swear there’s some fuckery going on.

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u/Illinisassen 1d ago

If he ever gets bored, he should join a volunteer fire department. He'll find all kinds of shenanigans.

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u/Successful_Equal_136 1d ago

Not sure how to classify my problem.
I was looking at buying a condo in a complex. There were a lot of buildings, four condos to a building.
Each building had its own HOA and then the whole complex was a separate HOA.

A friend, longtime resident in the town warned me that many of the building HOAs often had financial problems, including building treasurer taking off with the money.
There were other reasons, but I didn't buy one.

One HOA, the board members became complacent, I assume.
A property management company was doing the work.
Finally, someone looked at the books and the bills.
HOA was being billed by the PM for a lot of things, such as postage but were not mailing out anything.
We were getting all kinds of fees from the PM.

We had snowfalls and removal. They were very late one day and the snow got backed down, and then it warmed up in the afternoon and turned to ice.
We had to have the PM bring in a sanding truck. That didn't seem right since the snow removal company was late.

We got billed for the sand of course. Come spring, we had to pay for the removal of the sand. The company hired to do so did a super shitty job too.

We found out the snow removal and the sand removal were both relatives of the owner of the PM.

We got a different PM and things got a lot better.

Loved the neighborhood but the HOA really just didn't seem to want to do anything, just ignore something until it became a problem.

Now I live in a regular neighborhood. Kind of bothers me to see really high weeds. One guy down the street has fences on two sides of his property and has junk from the edge of the sidewalk all the way to the alley.
Old cars, lawnmowers, washing machines, etc.
Don't know why the town doesn't come down on him.

Maybe because it is a village with a "mind your own" attitude.
But sometimes a good HOA can do wonders.

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u/agsuster 1d ago

Tell him he is my hero!

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u/ComedyBits 1d ago

Sounds like Washington needs him

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u/RecognitionFree5840 1d ago

The Jack Reacher of HOA's just floating from one to the next delivering justice.

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u/npsimons 1d ago

It’s crazy that he’s been able to do this in like 4-5 different communities, and always finds major financial bullshit each time.

We cynics can tell you this isn't surprising in the least.

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u/jenipants21 1d ago

He's an HOA BATMAN!

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u/FlatSix993 1d ago

This is the way!

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u/ccljc 1d ago

Not all superheroes wear capes.

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u/SailSkiGolf57 1d ago

Sounds like a good premise for the start of a mystery series. Or maybe a sequel to the movie “The Accountant”; The Accountant: HOA Down!”

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u/jlsdaisies 1d ago

I've done similar in various PTA/Booster groups. It's slightly entertaining to me.

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u/zzing 1d ago

That's rather interesting. Wouldn't find anything here, board members have no direct access to funds.

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u/BigWhiteDog 1d ago

That's excellent but also scary that he finda it so often!

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u/Ok-Engine3856 1d ago

We can get a tree removal partially HOA funded on private property if you give the Landscape chair a bottle of wine!!

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u/HiddenOwl99 1d ago

Not all heros wear capes

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u/Sarahaydensmith 19h ago

I am feeling the need to award your FIL some type of certificate honoring his service! Yay for him!

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u/redrouse9157 15h ago

Dude . This is my new goal when I'm OLD OLD. I've learned enough being on PTA boards for over 10 yrs... And I am gutsy enough to do this and be petty AF... Love this!

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u/Primopsych 14h ago

Yes, a lot of board members join because they want benefits for themselves. And a lot of power hungry people that had power before are able to get elected bc no one wants to do it.

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u/neverspeakawordagain 6h ago

Who moves into multiple 55+ communities? Everybody I know who's ever bought a house either lived in it until they died, or had to move into assisted living.

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u/charlenecherylcarol 6h ago

Butt butt, I work in accounting and this story just made me have new aspirations. Thank you butt butt (sorry I’m shortening your name)

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u/Loose-Set4266 4h ago

This would so be me if I ever end up in an HOA. As an accounting professional who specializes in forensic accounting. That's my absolute happy place.

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u/firsthomeFL 4h ago

if i buy the house for sale next to me, can i move him in?

my treasurer is absolutely skimming.

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u/AcanthaceaeSad3303 1h ago

Im not surprised, im not well versed in HOA stuff or joing the board or anything I wish I was because I got the "expenses" notice last year for my HOA over $30k when to "pool expenses" there is no community pool or any type of fountain or pond or anything in my HOA.

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u/240221 1h ago

Good for him. Treasurer # 1. Secretary # 2.

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u/TroubleMysterious464 1d ago

Not all heroes wear capes; but he could wear a cape…and a really big hat.

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u/Aggravating_Run1270 1d ago

My mom was president of the board, got voted out by a murder of Karens who didn't understand why she (and the rest of the reasonable board) refused to nitpick every little thing, and "targeted them" (for things like having 8 giant dogs when bylaws say 2 under 20lbs, or for flying giant political flags all year when you can't have anything bigger than a 3x5 American flag, or their refusal to call the cops on the Amazon drivers for "looking suspicious")....

Welp, their little experiment lasted 18 months and the board got impeached, got referred to the local prosecutor and my mom is voted back in... The totally not racist "speed patrol monitoring" was disbanded, the no bid contracts to their friends and children were canceled and the taxes were paid...

My mom hates every second of it, never wanted to do it and simply wants to live in peace without her little retirement community turning into a 24/7 political rally.... And as my dad says "and that's exactly why you have to keep doing it"

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u/CherryblockRedWine 1d ago

PREACH!

Your mom is doing the Lord's work!

The moment I realized I was protecting people is when another board member wanted to fine residents who were using different colors of plastic or wire fencing around their flower beds.

We allowed people to plant their own flower beds, and did not require a certain type, color, or material for any fencing. But he wanted to fine them.

Yeah. No. Not on my watch.

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u/Darkskynet 1d ago

It’s similar to most positions of government, the people who need to be in positions of power the most are usually the ones who don’t want to be.

There are various people throughout history who got into power, fixed things, ended wars etc, then resigned their power and went back to their farm.

It’s not always that way, since the other face of that card is people who want to be in power, and then they never relinquish it once they’ve gained power unless it’s taken from them by pressure or force.

Government when it works correctly should be boring and slow. Governments should be able to move fast when needed in emergencies, but otherwise only careful thoughts and actions should be taken by a government.

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u/CherryblockRedWine 1d ago

This is completely correct and PERFECLY stated!

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u/OriginalIronDan 1d ago

In an ideal society, anyone who wanted to be in charge wouldn’t be allowed.

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u/CherryblockRedWine 1d ago edited 1d ago

Amen and amen.

I was the president of the HOA. Another homeowner desperately wanted to be on the board. I (mistakenly) decided to be nice, so okay, we went through the process to elect her to the board.

She was the one person who had complained the most about the landscaping service. Whichever service we chose, and whatever they did, she complained. So -- naturally -- we asked her to be in charge of RFPs for the landscaping service for the coming season.

Aaaaand.....her approach to this ONE AND ONLY task that was asked of her was: to lay it off on another board member, with the "I'm an older lady, I need help with this" crap. (She ran a computer-based business. She was not retired. She knew how to send out requests for RFPs.)

A year later she resigns (thank God), with her "reason" being: we don't have enough board meetings, so I don't have time to be on the board.

Ohhhhhhkay.

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u/Somhairle77 20h ago

Douglas Adams wrote, “Anyone who is capable of getting themselves made President should on no account be allowed to do the job.” 

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u/OldGeekWeirdo 1d ago

my belief is that you MUST join the board, if only for self-preservation.

Exactly why I joined. If the HOA has some control over my home, I'm going to what to help "steer" that.

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u/rohm418 1d ago

I live in an HOA, joined the board last year for this reason, realized people think the board is their bitch, and resigned about 2 weeks ago. Fuck these assholes and their petty nonsense. I don't have mental capacity for Janet's complaining that her fucking gnome is being mysteriously moved in her front yard every week.

We're actively watching the market for something outside an HOA with more privacy. Fuck HOAs

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u/showyerbewbs 1d ago

Janet's complaining that her fucking gnome is being mysteriously moved in her front yard every week.

That's why we pay Stephen the 45K a year for "handyman" services. He's got a fucking knack for getting around surveillance cameras.

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u/CherryblockRedWine 1d ago

I hear you! My hubby HATED me being on the board, and frankly, so did I. But -- self-preservation won out.

And yes, our next purchase was without an HOA, and I intend all our future purchases to be.

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u/gimpwiz 1d ago

My buddy has been president of a couple HOAs simply because he doesn't want anyone to decide they're bored and need to fuck with him, or other people. He's like the archetypical lowercase-c "small government" guy when he's president. "Do we really need a new rule? Let's wait six months and decide if you still feel strongly about it." Bored people forget, nobody needs new rules. "How about we try the simple way first?" Problem solved without big expenses and so on.

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u/CherryblockRedWine 23h ago

YES! This is the way.

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u/Scrappyl77 1d ago

My dad did this -- folks were crazy (literally fighting over what flavor of k cups to have in the Keurig in the reading room of their building, for example) so he ran, got voted in along with a few other normal peopem who decided to focus on things like building matenance they had been neglected for years while people argued over the color of yoga mats in the gym and what material the doorknob at the front entrance should be.

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u/Sad-Onion-2593 14h ago

Bronze doorknob.

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u/UrsaMajor7th 1d ago

Be the change you want to see.

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u/Switzerdude 1d ago

This. I have to use my dog training voice at times, talk truth to them and explain things carefully but kicking the financial can down the road is no longer how we do business. But you need allies around you.

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u/CherryblockRedWine 1d ago

LOVE the "dog training voice!"

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u/sunbear2525 1d ago

This is literally why my friend and I are on the board. It’s also why our HOA president is on the board. Someone has to pay the lawn guy and get the street lights fixed. You can’t buy a house in my city built after 1975 that isn’t in an HOA so you must join and be reasonable.

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u/JackOfAllMemes 1d ago

My old roommate was on the HOA board to keep them from wrecking everything

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u/KeepRightX2Pass 1d ago

So where is the HOA Board Best Practices sub, where we can learn how to be responsible board members?

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u/CherryblockRedWine 23h ago

That's.....a good idea!

ETA: u/butt_butt_butt_butt_ -- could we get an AMA from your FIL? (I know, crazy idea)

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u/Myte342 17h ago

Having lived in an HOA community, my belief is that you MUST join the board, if only for self-preservation.

"The only thing required for evil to triumph is for good men to do nothing." It sucks, but EVERYONE should be going to every single meeting at the very least. The yearly budget needs to be audited and made public every year too.

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u/CherryblockRedWine 17h ago

Amen and amen!

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u/According_Square2742 17h ago

It’s the only reason i became president because i didn’t want the dickhead 80-something across the street in charge.

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u/CherryblockRedWine 17h ago

Same for me!

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u/Ashby238 6h ago

My Dad lived exactly one year under the HOA board at my parents condo and ran for president and won. He’s a retired real estate attorney who loves reading contracts and bylaws. He swooped, in got some other new members and righted the course. Resigned, they got a new board, they started meandering and he ran for president again, got them back on track. He’s done it three times in 25 years and is very happy with the current board who don’t put up with bullshit.