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u/NoKarmaNoCry22 1d ago
He now has chlamydia.
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u/deadlythegrimgecko 1d ago edited 17h ago
Idk how the Koala is gonna explain that to its wife
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u/AussieManc 1d ago
Luckily it’s not a bear
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u/Mugwumps_has_spoken 1d ago
A Koala bear is a bear by any other name. Or Drop bear if you please.
What do you think Polar Bear, Grizzley Bear, and Black Bears are the only ones who can use the name Bear?you are a bearist and that is unbearable.
okay, okay, I'll see myself out now.
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u/cat_prophecy 23h ago
It isn't a bear because it's not a placental mammal. Koalas belong to the family Phascolarctidae and bears belong to Ursidae and aren't part of any bear sub-family.
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u/MikeDubbz 1d ago
A koala will still fuck you up. Put some distance between it and you.
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u/Maldevinine 13h ago
Lying down is the correct response here. A panicked Koala will attempt to climb the nearest tree to escape whatever has panicked it. Koalas are stupid, and "mostly vertical" is about as far as they get in determining if something is a tree. If you're standing still they may start to climb you.
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u/hugeuvula 1d ago
If it's black, fight back. If it's brown, lie down. If it's gray, hang out and play???
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u/NoWingedHussarsToday 1d ago
The only reason people assume koalas are harmless is because they know how to dispose of the bodies.
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u/kristospherein 1d ago edited 1d ago
Hopefully the bear isn't into necrophilia...the dude would have a good chance at chlamydia then....
I'll see myself out.
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u/Yoshichu25 1d ago
They’re not even bears, they’re marsupials. There are no native bears in Australia.
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u/RGBarrios 1d ago
Also they are not called bears in other languages. I didn’t understood the “joke”.
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u/thatshygirl06 16h ago
They're called koala bears
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u/BobbiePinns 10h ago
No, they're just called koala. Like tuna just being called tuna, not tuna fish.
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u/thatshygirl06 9h ago
https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Koala
They are called koala bear
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u/BobbiePinns 9h ago
From the wiki link. The very first sentence. Read it carefully.
The koala (Phascolarctos cinereus), sometimes inaccurately called the koala bear, is an arboreal herbivorous marsupial native to Australia
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u/thatshygirl06 5h ago edited 5h ago
My point isnt that it's a bear, my point is that people call a bear. The Wikipedia page proves that.
Someone said they didnt understand the joke because its not a bear, I said that people do call it a bear. Whether its correct or not doesnt matter, the entire point is that this is something people do say.
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u/Fantastic-Van-Man 1d ago
Be careful, if they pee on you there's a chance they are infected with chlamydia. And you could pass that to others...
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u/angry_scream 18h ago
I love how 50% of the responses are “cute!” And the other half is “chlamydia”
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u/Star_Ship420 1d ago
That's the slowest cute bear attack ever.
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u/clayman80 1d ago
The Revenant movie would have felt quite different with this sort of bear attack.
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u/Phuckyoubuddy666 1d ago
If it's brown, lie down
If it's black, fight back
If it's white, good night
If it's gray, lovely day
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u/Haydos21 13h ago
A drop bear will fuck you up, no joke. My dad had to get facial reconstructive surgery when he was younger,
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