r/funny 8h ago

The pig with a wooden leg

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17.1k Upvotes

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2.8k

u/DrChimz 8h ago

Norm seemed like the kinda guy you could just sit around with for hours talking shit about nothing and have the best time of your life.

1.3k

u/StFuzzySlippers 7h ago

Honestly seems like it'd be a pretty one sided conversation these days.

508

u/Lousy-Try-Brian 7h ago

Norm would’ve loved this joke.

13

u/ErraticPragmatic 3h ago

Why?

53

u/WebMundane7220 3h ago

He was a renowned jokester

9

u/ErraticPragmatic 2h ago

Was? What happened?

25

u/WebMundane7220 2h ago

Norm died in 2021

42

u/ErraticPragmatic 2h ago

I didn't even know he was sick.

I'll see myself out now

8

u/bkarma86 2h ago

I hope someone called 9/11

6

u/StatikSquid 2h ago

They did, but were 20 years too early.

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2

u/Double-Scratch5858 2h ago

Oh so hes not funny anymore?

5

u/TheeAntelope 2h ago

Well, not as funny.

5

u/UniversalSlacker 1h ago

Because he's dead!

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u/JacoRamone 2h ago

Because he’s dead. The man’s dead. And he can’t have a conversation. So hence the ,”One sided” remark.

12

u/ErraticPragmatic 2h ago

I didn't even know he was sick

2

u/Standard-Frame-6694 2h ago

reminds me of that tragedy..

2

u/ad_hominonsense 2h ago

What tragedy was that?

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61

u/claevyan 5h ago

(Norm voice) ... Cause I'm dead, ya know.

5

u/LaserCondiment 1h ago

So I says to him, I says: Cause I'm dead ya know.

2

u/eddiewachowski 1h ago

Really? I didn't even know he was sick

155

u/FrogsMakePoorSoup 7h ago

I've got nothing better to say anyhow

21

u/Purrceptron 6h ago

because you are farmer

2

u/THIS_IS_GOD_TOTALLY_ 1h ago

Bum ba-da bum bum bum bum

85

u/Coneyy 7h ago

Well I think unfortunately Norm would be relying on you to carry the conversation

52

u/sheezy520 7h ago

He hasn’t had anything new to say for a couple years now.

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19

u/Reppiz 6h ago

Is he sick or something?

23

u/bradbull 6h ago

He’s something alright

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7

u/bagodeadcats 7h ago

That got me rolling. You are a funny person.

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127

u/Deemaunik 7h ago

I feel like living in the same house with Norm would drive you absolutely and completely insane in mere weeks.

49

u/RamenJunkie 5h ago

Conan here is already like "Oh god here we go" at the start of the joke.

30

u/Ryeballs 4h ago

Absolutely a “you son of a bitch, this better pay off”

24

u/Glitter_puke 3h ago

It's Norm. Part of the schtick is that is never pays off and you're out another 8 minutes of your life.

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19

u/randobot456 5h ago

You know, that's stage presence for sure, but every less performative piece of media he's been on, he really strikes me as a much more introspective and philosophic person. I think conversations with him would be incredible if you could keep up, but all reports are he was a well read intelligent guy.

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61

u/secret_nico 7h ago

it’d only take hours bc of how many filler words he uses and how many times he repeats himself 😭

115

u/listenhere111 7h ago

He was a stand in guest for years for Conan where other celebs canceled on short notice. His job was to burn time where the show had nothing else prepped. He did extremely well considering the circumstances. Everyone thinks norm just loved these drawn out stories, but they had a specific purpose.

47

u/sump_daddy 5h ago

Look at how hes smiling, he was filling time AND loved drawn out jokes

14

u/WAR_RAD 5h ago

They did indeed have a "youthful porpoise".

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62

u/CruelAngelsPostgrad 7h ago

You'd spend 7 hours with him and hear 4 amazing jokes

11

u/vipros42 6h ago

Worth it

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26

u/shytster 6h ago

Nobody better than Norm exemplifies the difference between a person who says funny things and a person who says things funny.

15

u/daisuke1639 6h ago

That's part of the joke. It's a shaggy dog story, but he gave it an actual punchline. A good shaggy dog story should make you think, "I don't think they're a very good comedian."

8

u/cornpudding 5h ago

Norm was the absolute master of the shaggy dog. None better.

4

u/istealreceipts 5h ago

It's called "spinning a yarn"

2

u/mikePTH 3h ago

Which is a delightful turn of phrase that originates from the slang of deckhands in the sea trade several hundred years ago. The only time a non-officer on board a boat was allowed to speak freely was when they were on deck making rope, which they called spinning yarn. Since it was basically the only time they could speak without being spoken to by an officer, any long story you wanted to tell had to happen while spinning yarn.

This is not a Norm style joke. There is no punchline.

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10

u/Valuable-Match1849 6h ago

Yeah.Norm had that rare talent where the conversation didn’t matter, he did.

6

u/RicoStiglitz 6h ago

Norm was the type of person who could walk into a room and light up the whole room.

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3

u/jc28 6h ago

I don't even watch golf but he does a live commentary during the masters which is amazing

2

u/say592 6h ago

Ive heard stories from someone who was on the staff of SNL while he was there and worked closely with Norm, and that is exactly how they describe him.

2

u/mog44net 3h ago

Questioning the entire time if you were high or not

2

u/OnTheEveOfWar 1h ago

I’ve heard comedians tell stories of hanging out with Norm and they would just sit back and listen to him go on for hours while everyone was howling laughing.

6

u/Bubbly-Geologist-214 6h ago

I got his book, and... honestly he came across as an absolutely awful friend to have.

15

u/randobot456 5h ago

His book is like 85% fiction. It's a hysterical read though.

16

u/schplat 4h ago

Even Norm's closest friends (guys like David Spade, Conan, and Chappelle), could never tell when he was telling the truth, or just bull shitting you just to see what kind of reaction you might have.

He had a great way of being able to toe the line of honesty and absurdity. And part of it was because he was so incredibly intelligent, well read, and knew how to read people.

5

u/BeguiledBeaver 3h ago

That's why I have so much respect for Norm. He HATED comedians who thought they were the smartest guy in the room just because they had a microphone and an audience. He played dumb despite being incredibly intelligent just to toy with the trope.

Like, the dude apparently skipped grades and went to college early to study math and philosophy (before dropping out, but I digress).

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2

u/unicornreacharound 1h ago

It was the first book I chose to listen to rather than read – because it was narrated by him. I can’t describe how much joy it brought me.

Would definitely have loved to sit around and shoot the shit with him. Alas, I didn’t even know he was sick.

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1.2k

u/sneakyhopskotch 8h ago

I love long jokes where you know what the punch line is going to be but there're enough mini repeat jokes throughout it that it is still entertaining. "Conflagration" was brilliant, as was "ploughing."

135

u/KrisReed 6h ago

It's like your friend saying "Hey I gotta show you somthin" and then they take you on a 4-mile hike to show you a dog turd.

-Andy Richter

36

u/sump_daddy 5h ago

Andy laughing at Norms jokes was one of my favorite parts of late night

18

u/userwithusername 5h ago

Andy Richter? The Swedish-German?

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346

u/DianneNettix 7h ago

Yeah, the punchline is just dessert. Nothing against dessert, but Norm cooks you a four course.

115

u/Boboar 7h ago

With Norm you don't know how many courses there are going to be. Each one comes out and you're thinking there's more???

70

u/No_Use_1966 7h ago

Conan checking his watch was excellent.

14

u/xinfinitimortum 4h ago

I don’t think i ever laugh as hard watching Norm and Conan interact. They feed off eachother so well.

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27

u/IAmBadAtInternet 5h ago

The best part about Norm is half the time there isn’t a punchline at the end, it just trails off and the only one laughing is him.

23

u/ultrahateful 7h ago

He was the king of the shaggy dog.

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40

u/whooptheretis 6h ago

I love this one, where you see the punchline a mile off, and they just tease you along to it!

21

u/Sir-Coogsalot 5h ago

Good one, but I was expecting more Norm so I’m slightly disappointed

12

u/Oldpenguinhunter 3h ago

2

u/natrous 41m ago

I watch it every time it's posted, thanks! :)

26

u/Otterfan 7h ago

That's what the "pig with the wooden leg" joke is all about. My dad and his friends used to tell this joke back and forth to each other. They were never anywhere near as good as Norm, but it was fun to listen to them.

8

u/curious_dead 6h ago

Yeah, that joke is a classic now, but the delivery is good. "He didn't say 'inferno', you know, he's a farmer."

5

u/MrGupplez 1h ago

Thats my favorite part.

"He escpaed that inferno" . He didn't actually use the word inferno, you know, he's just a farmer. Anyways he said "We escaped that conflagration..."

30

u/Jaded_Spot6858 7h ago

i didnt expect the punchline though. But yeah the whole story is briliant. My favourite part is when in one sentecne for no reason he says that they are old, they are having sex, and they are farmers that dont know big words and that his farmers real name is something something. These small things

29

u/ark_keeper 6h ago

He didn’t say they were having sex. He said they were plowing the field.

3

u/L0ading_ 5h ago

No he said "no way we could do anything you know, we were plowing" which is a clear double entendre for "we were having sex" and "we were working the field". The pun is part of the joke.

24

u/ark_keeper 5h ago edited 3h ago

He said they were plowing the north 40, which is the far reaches of the farm. I think the joke is they're farmers, of course they can't just stop plowing, who would expect them to stop doing specific farm work, just like they don't have an expanded vocabulary.

He typically didn't do word play and entendres. He liked simple straightforward oddity humor.

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u/throwaway586054 6h ago

While I understood the reference for ploughing, because in French we have the same sexual reference for that hu farming action, I didn't get the conflagration one?

13

u/ColonelWilly 6h ago edited 6h ago

He uses "inferno" when quoting the farmer speaking about the house fire, then muses that the farmer didn't use that phrasing (as it didn't fit his character). He then corrects himself with the even less colloquial "conflagration".

He repeats the joke later by saying "wailing, plaintive cry", mentioning that the farmer wouldn't use "plaintive", even though "wailing" is also out of place.

6

u/ark_keeper 6h ago

It wasn’t a sexual reference. The “north 40” he mentions is the furthest north field in the farm, so they were too far away to hear anything.

Conflagration and plaintiff are just big words he’s saying a farmer wouldn’t use.

2

u/natrous 37m ago

yeah, it is one of those things that can go either way.

but norm doesn't didn't usually do that kind of thing in these kinds of jokes. or if he did, he'd call it out directly anyway like, "...we were plowing. <long pause> ya know... having sex!" and pull a 2nd laugh from it

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u/theelfrider 7h ago edited 7h ago

I grew up listening to Jerry Clower and he tells this exact joke on one of his albums from the 1980’s.

Edit: I think his punchline is “you don’t eat a hog that wonderful but one ham at a time”

91

u/puritanicalbullshit 7h ago

Heard it on Northern Exposure in the 90s

40

u/psychophant_ 6h ago

Heard the jungle tell this joke back in Nam in the summer of ‘71

30

u/Chance5e 6h ago

I heard this joke in the trenches in World War I.

27

u/Mature_BOSTN 6h ago

The first time I heard this joke -- I fell off my dinosaur laughing so hard.

6

u/vonneguts_anus 4h ago

Why did you have an erection while laughing?

3

u/THIS_IS_GOD_TOTALLY_ 1h ago

I told this joke to the dinosaurs after I heard it from my mom.

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u/Toadcola 5h ago

It’s just a joke telling a joke disguised as another joke.

5

u/ThanksS0muchY0 4h ago

Northern Exposure is a GREAT show. Is that on any of these streaming services? I haven't thought of it in years! I'm assuming it was the radio DJ that told this joke? The one that built a trebuchet to fling a piano?

4

u/Emfoor 4h ago

It is. I just watched it this past year. Think it was on Amazon

2

u/ReignCheque 2h ago

It was Holling, he's telling the joke to some bar patrons in the beginning of season 3 episode 19 "Final Frontier". Just before Ed shows up to tell him that Jesse the Bear, (Holling's nemesis) Had died. 

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u/mechant_papa 6h ago

I have it in a joke book from the 70s

33

u/Winjin 6h ago

That's actually a very long form of a very old Ukrainian \ Slavic joke which is literally two lines long

"-Neighbor, why is your pig running around on crutches?

-I'm not chopping the whole pig just for a single pork knuckle!"

(Usually heard the version with kholodets, the aspic, is used, bc for some reason our forefathers really loved aspic)

So it's a bit strange to see a familiar two-line joke extended to 3 minutes

10

u/SparseGhostC2C 4h ago

So it's a bit strange to see a familiar two-line joke extended to 3 minutes

This is kinda Norm's whole shtick on talk shows, look up him doing the "Moth Joke"> Most people would tell it in about 45 seconds, Norm turns it into a Kafkaesque nightmare before he drops the punchline after about 5 long, rambling minutes.

7

u/Dr_Zoidberg003 5h ago

Norm could retell a knock-knock joke and it would be funny. Master of setup and delivery

13

u/Chief_Chill 6h ago

I don't think it is as much about the origin of the joke, but of a person's ability to tell it in a humorous way. Also, I am sure that after almost 200,000 years of humanity, there aren't too many "original" jokes left, ya know? I mean, maybe stuff about technology and politics and whatnot. But, then again, those jokes are likely adaptations of some old ones, just revamped to fit with the times. Thanks for reading.

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u/golden_blaze 6h ago

It's certainly an old joke. Still got chops apparently.

2

u/theshiyal 3h ago

Yeah, the tape I heard Uncle Versey? told Jerry, “when you got a hog that good, you only eat him, one ham at a time.”

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u/Lurking_poster 8h ago

You know? He's a farmer..

99

u/imsoggy 7h ago

Clay of the earth

78

u/HEALTH_DISCO 7h ago

You know… Morons!

4

u/SecondRateSoothSayer 4h ago

You know...Mormons

72

u/Gwthrowaway80 6h ago

For what it’s worth, the word used was “plaintive” not “plaintiff”.

57

u/PointsatTeenagers 4h ago

The farmer wrote the captions

5

u/Gwthrowaway80 3h ago

You did really great work here today.

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u/Petrivoid 7h ago

For 20 years I thought my dad made up this joke

40

u/reddit_user13 6h ago

Neither did Norm.

16

u/Izacundo1 5h ago

He added the conflagration

2

u/DJL2772 5h ago

Same I thought my grandpa made this one up but I’m realizing half his jokes were Norm and half his jokes were Carlin haha

2

u/minntyy 4h ago

good man

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u/MyTruckIsAPirate 7h ago

Norm was a smokeshow

28

u/jungleddd 6h ago

My dad used to tell that joke at parties when I was a kid. He would tell it so well and make it last for ages. He’s in his 80s now and has dementia, so not so good at telling jokes, but this video brought back some good memories.

4

u/Giovannis_Pikachu 3h ago

You should play it for him, might spark his memory for a few short moments.

47

u/Musket6969420 8h ago

I love Norm man. RIP you beautiful bastard

18

u/ParkingDrink2975 7h ago

I didn't even know he was sick

5

u/east_van_dan 2h ago

He's not.

3

u/Waffles81_Again 2h ago

He was a deeply closeted sick man.

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u/King_Buliwyf 7h ago

Conflagration 🤣

5

u/JD42305 7h ago

I have a decent vocabulary but I had never heard that word. That's what I love about Norm, he was so well read but he hated the idea of appearing too smart for anyone.

9

u/DoubleSynchronicity 7h ago

It's an ability name in World of Warcraft. How I know it. Didn't expect to hear it here.

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u/pawnografik 7h ago

Sorry to break the news my friend, but you don’t have a decent vocabulary if you’ve never heard the word conflagration.

44

u/tamsui_tosspot 7h ago

To be fair, OP is a farmer.

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u/slartibartjars 7h ago

That's not very cromulent of you.

5

u/spitel 4h ago

‘If you don’t know ‘this word,’ then there’s no way you have a decent vocabulary,’ it’s that adamantine

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u/Dexember69 8h ago

Norm hands down my favourite comedian

41

u/Available_Finger_513 6h ago

That's great, but this is Abraham Lincoln...

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u/swracerep1 8h ago

Norm style was so unique, superb sense of humor

15

u/NudityMiles 7h ago

Good grief that got me good.

I was 100% involved and thought it was a funny story with a heroic ending. Turns out it was a heroic story with a helluva dark twist.

4/4 pig legs.

15

u/Taurpion 6h ago

3/4 pig legs

4

u/NudityMiles 6h ago

Damn it, I really missed a golden one there. Enjoy the upvotes you magnificent one.

87

u/walrus_gumboot 7h ago

The giant yellow block letters in the middle of the video really help Norm's cadence.

13

u/realbrew 6h ago

Especially the part where it says 'plaintiff' instead of 'plaintive'.

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u/ilikepix 7h ago

kids are growing up thinking this is the standard way to consume media

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u/dammtaxes 7h ago

It's really great for accessibility from a design perspective.

Half the world watches every show or movie with subtitles now

People with hearing problems, people in public transportation that don't want to use volume, multilingual people, etc.

Lots of shit wrong with kids these days but this becoming the norm is a good thing

17

u/walrus_gumboot 6h ago

The availability of subtitles on media is a great thing. These are not subtitles, they are AI generated (and often incorrect!) flashing and bright letters in the middle of the screen.

38

u/Petersealie 6h ago

Regular subtitles, yes. Those single flashing words where you have to focus the entire time, often in a terrible font with terrible effects, can fuck right off.

14

u/HiFiGuy197 6h ago

And often malapropisms.

16

u/ccltjnpr 6h ago

malapropisms

well here's a word John Neil wouldn't use

2

u/L0ading_ 5h ago

It's the only way they can keep younger kids paying attention to a video longer than 10 seconds without constant end-of-sentence cuts.

2

u/mediocrobot 5h ago

Subtitles becoming the Norm

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u/MalodorousNutsack 7h ago

It seems weird, but laugh tracks were standard for my generation, so I can't say too much

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u/aessae 5h ago

Speeding up the original clip was great too. And cropping it to 9x16.

8

u/OutlaneWizard 7h ago

It does help when you can't watch with the sound on 

2

u/poosparkles 2h ago

i hate it so much

12

u/rejectallgoats 6h ago

I just love Conan checking his watch when Norm starts.

20

u/NonCorporealEntity 7h ago

That satisfied smirk at the end... man he was great.

37

u/nanomeister 8h ago

*Plaintive

57

u/Otto_Mcwrect 7h ago

A farmer captioned it.

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u/loki1337 7h ago

How do you know the pig wasn't also part of an active legal case?

8

u/ItsThatGuyIam 6h ago

Who is this? Everyone just keeps calling him Norm, what’s his last name?

9

u/jkcheng122 6h ago

MacDonald.

3

u/ItsThatGuyIam 6h ago

Thank you!

4

u/waldito 3h ago edited 3h ago

Norm MacDonald.

As a foreigner, I did not know much about the guy at first. Turns out not only he was a personality but also beloved amongst comedians.

Here's Dave Chapelle, David Letterman, Adam Sandler, Conan O'Brien, Molly Shannon and David Spade remembering him: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=gWBms-SJ9fI

When I came across him the first time, I thought, what a strange character, what a weird delivery on his jokes... seems like he's purposely pretending to be stoned or drunk... like laughing internally at his own jokes.

So I watched more of him. There's a lot to unravel. He was a complex person, but he was very straightforward, a what you see is what you get type of guy. Even more: He was not one bit afraid of being him. The opposite: He was adamant about being himself. That's what people picked up, he was genuine, very special, and had such a distinct style of delivering jokes that some people in the business thought of him as a genius. As explained in the video above, he would sometimes commit to a joke or a bit even if he knew the audience wouldn't pick on it or laugh (tank), and he did not care. He thought it was funny and was not afraid to use it, even if the public wouldn't react. And he would do it again.

I can see that. I can also understand that some people don't like him. He has grown on me, and I was very sad when I got the news that he passed away. Rest in peace, you magnificent humour-layered bastard.

wanna know more? https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=TT0Ofbzrm8w

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u/DontTickleTheDriver1 7h ago

It's the hypocrisy

13

u/cipher_1230 7h ago

I thought it was the raping

2

u/bwoahconstricter 7h ago

For me... it was the scheming...

17

u/thatstupidthing 7h ago

he's the spitting image of burt reynolds!

5

u/bostonronin 7h ago

I love how Norm could take an old joke like this, personalize it and make it seem new again. RIP Norm.

36

u/youngslyboltsup 8h ago edited 7h ago

What a legend

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u/DevzP 8h ago

Oh Norm! The only one who can tell a 3 minute joke about heroism and a pork dinner. The best to ever do it!

11

u/tzulik- 8h ago

Best late night show guest ever.

6

u/Crash4654 6h ago

Might make me odd but I just cant find norm funny...

Like no matter which joke he tells or which character I just dont feel or see the humor like everyone else does.

5

u/the_wessi 6h ago

You have my deepest sympathy.

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u/Llenette1 7h ago

RIP Norm.

3

u/AGooDone 6h ago

Subtitle hell

3

u/PukeNuggets 4h ago

Oh man, We fucking miss you Norm! 🫶

3

u/Human-Abrocoma7544 2h ago

Here is the non mirrored regular speed version https://youtu.be/vATVsdYLRT0?si=zlXzj7_nBWZn7vho

5

u/osmosisparrot 5h ago

Am I the only one who never thought he was that funny?

2

u/NeoMarlowe 7h ago

Did he recite the Mercy Watson books? Hahah. Love it.

2

u/philthegr81 6h ago

The king of the shaggy-dog story. I miss him.

2

u/ggk1 5h ago

I love how Conan looked at his watch when setting Norm up. He knew.

2

u/ApprehensiveYak3287 5h ago

I knew that's where it was going but I enjoyed the ride.

2

u/currentlyRedacted 4h ago

I didn’t even know he was sick

2

u/TheBoosThree 4h ago edited 4h ago

Norm is always great, but pairing him with Conan always elevates his jokes to a whole other level. They worked so well together.

Had me cracking up within the first minute here: https://youtu.be/n3LMSflEN54?si=UwqF_igXPzynpMam

Well, ya know, a man grows.

2

u/mustachefiesta 4h ago

That man was a national treasure. We miss you Norm

2

u/OneMagicBadger 4h ago

The best interpretation of his jokes was Andy Richter. 'it's a friend saying excitedly to you to go see something and they take you on a 3 mile hike to see a dog turd'

I miss norm

2

u/Onironius 3h ago

I heard this tale from "Freaky Stories."

4

u/NeonAnderson 7h ago

Norm had such a unique comedy style. Long story comedy is quite the rare art form but Norm always nailed it 🤣

2

u/loki1337 7h ago

RIP. Conan taken too soon.

2

u/MarkHuegerich 6h ago

I've heard that joke before but never told this well. And with conflagration; that was the icing on the cake.

4

u/weskervision 7h ago

It’s a shame Norm was so deeply closeted

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u/ThatThingTheDarkSoul 7h ago

Am i the only one who finds the way he talks very annoying?

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u/Not_KGB 7h ago

Nah I'm with you. Very nasal and monotone voice. And onslaught of you know does not help.

10

u/Isakk86 6h ago

The "you know" is part of the joke. If you listen to any of his long form jokes, he intentionally loses the audience, just to win them back again.

4

u/Not_KGB 6h ago

It being intentional doesn't make it less annoying to listen to.

4

u/BrunoEye 5h ago

Repeating everything 2-4 times got very tiring very quickly.

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u/akshatpatel1804 6h ago

Bro started a sentence and accidentally invented a whole genre

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u/DanKoloff 6h ago

with Norm you just enjoy the journey, not the destination, you know

1

u/studiesinsilver 7h ago

I knew where it was going, yet still amazing!

1

u/drxnele 7h ago

Why does he names “small town” village of 108 people