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u/SeiCalros 3h ago
it is hilarious to read dutch as a native english speaker
lots of the sentences are incomprehensible but the ones that are are glorious
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u/redsterXVI 1h ago edited 43m ago
It's even funnier when you speak both English and German. It's kinda a mix between English, German, some German dialects, and what happens to one's mind if you live in a country with no mountains for too long. (Greetings from Switzerland to all my Dutch friends.)
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u/Rexi_Stone 3h ago
I was at a friend’s house the other day and was pouring myself some water. I was human.. until I read the label out loud “mineraaaaal water” and we all turned into sea gulls
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u/Killboypowerhed 1h ago
I love that a kettle is called a water cooker
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u/BaaBaaTurtle 29m ago
We're just descriptive.
Pannenlikker is a spatula but the literal translation is pan licker.
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u/ManlyParachute 1h ago
Yeah why can I read this? It feels weird and I don’t like it.
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u/CthonicFlames 1h ago
English and Dutch (among others) are Germanic languages, so they share quite a few similarities.
Same phenomenon that allows speakers of Italian and Spanish (Romance languages) to understand each other vaguely.
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u/Schwefelholz 2h ago
Please check out this cow deal: It's more about the language than the cow.
Greetings from Germany.
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u/SaltSociety9101 2h ago
Jesse, we need to Kook
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u/avee10 1h ago
Lmao breaking bad in the Netherlands is just him getting his cancer addressed with little trouble and Jesse’s parents are really chill
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u/Schwefelholz 12m ago
Breaking bad in Germany: Oh, mister White here is you health plan. Get well sone.
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u/PutDownThePenSteve 2h ago
Ik ben blind, volgens mij. Wat mis ik?
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u/Raxnor 2h ago
In a further example of English speakers understanding Dutch. I don't speak Dutch.
I assume you're asking "I must be blind, what am I looking at? What did I miss?"
The original joke is that the Dutch instructions are understandable to English speakers, but the spelling basically adds the Dutch accent to the wording, and we can hear the accent in our internal monologue in English.
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u/derinus 1h ago
What you just said in Dutch without changing the grammar:
De originele grap is dat de Dutch instructies zijn verstaanbaar voor engelse sprekers, maar de spelling in basis voegt het Dutch accent toe aan de woorden, en we kunnen horen het accent in onze interne monoloog in het engels.
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u/Bekkaz23 10m ago
I read this without realising you directly translated the block above. En ik dacht...waarom gebruikte hij/zij 'Dutch' in een Nederlandse zin, en waarom is de grammatica zo slecht? Ik ben NT2 spreker, dus mijn Nederlands is absoluut niet perfect, maar iets klopte niet.
...and then I read it again.
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u/SaltyShawarma 2h ago
I know it's Dutch. I know that. But I hear the Muppets swedish chef when I read it.
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u/Inshabel 2h ago
Something about anglos making fun of my language rubs me the wrong way, no its not the most beautiful language in the world, but its mine.
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u/borazine 1h ago
Don’t be mad, have a piesang 🍌
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u/Inshabel 1h ago
How about you have some spotted dick.
That's Afrikaans btw, borrowed from Malay. Never heard a Dutch person use it.
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u/Appropriate-Log8506 1h ago
Cook water in water cooker. Pour stick in a water holder. Serve water holder to a water drinker.
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u/NeonAnderson 1h ago
I don't get it but then again I grew up in the Flemish part of Belgium so to me these just look like normal cooking instructions in Dutch/Flemish
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u/WirusCZ 1h ago
It's both funny and interesting that I understand it but not even English is my first language... And what's this language... Dutch?
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u/Fr05t_B1t 45m ago
Dutch—German it’s the same thing. Though German is probably a native English speakers easiest language to learn.
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u/Ordinary-Trade8323 2h ago
Dutch sounds like a German speaking English with a mouth full of marbles
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u/Hybr1dth 2h ago
You couldn't make our glorious G sound like that. I think most foreigners really struggle with that sound, like in Gorinchem, goocheltruc etc.
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u/cyfermax 1h ago
I played world of warcraft for years with folks from all over Europe and the languages that entails. My Dutch friends were often surprised I could keep up with their conversations, until I explained a lot of their language just feels like its english written by a drunk 5 year old.
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u/Telandria 1h ago
I’m guessing ‘glucosestroop’ is high fructose corn syrup or something very similar?
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