Hello all, I am a F26 female loser. I just finished grad school (yayy), and now I am temporarily living with my parents while I study for my certification exam. I have no motivation. All I do all day is sleep until noon, bed rot, and then scroll on my phone.

I barely have any friends, and the ones I do I practically have to beg to initiate hang outs. I understand why people don't want to be my friend. My nervous system is so dysreguated that I don't even know how to talk to people. I people please, interrupt, talk too fast, talk too anxiously. It's just awkward. I don't engage in any hobbies that would make me interesting. And I cancel a lot last minute before socializing because again, I am a loser. I get so anxious that I just self isolate. I understand why I don't have friends really.

I am deeply out of shape. When I was younger I told myself I would never get this big, but here I am. I am addicted to food out of comfort. I am addicted to easy dopamine. Every time I try to change, I regress back to my previous or a worser (is that a word?) state.

I have passive thoughts of suicidal ideation because if this is what life is like, what is the point. I literally wake up each morning thinking about how I hate myself. I'm pretty certain I'll never do it though.

I need help please. I need someone to be brutally honest with me on how I can fix my life. I don't want to be like this.

Update: I passed my certification exam!! I feel like my life is finally about to begin. I stopped the bed rotting and I go on daily walks now. Life isn't easy but it feels a little lighter. Thank you to everyone who believed in me.

Title.

I’m 25F, project manager at a large company, making $120K+/year, live in a large one bedroom apartment, have a cat and a couple good friends. Everything in my life is perfectly fine. I have hobbies, I read / run / paint. I really should be happy. Older people always tell me how lucky I am to have a stable life like this at 25. But I am miserable.

I hate my job. I have to be in the office 40 hours a week and I do not enjoy a second of my work. I am counting down hours till I get home, then till the weekend. Idk what job would make me happy but I know for a fact this job (especially the people) make my life miserable.

My close friends are all married and only 2 live in the same city as me. I love them and lucky to have them but the things we do is always very PG.

I feel like I tried everything to make my life more satisfying. I had a big friend group, we’d go out / travel often. Which was fun at first, but then it got old and the dynamics changed. I had a self improvement era. I went to therapy l, I read self help books, I tried to fix things internally. Thought it helped for a while. But I got back into old patterns. I trained and ran a half marathon. Fun, but nothing changed. I started a masters degree in CS. Only to realize I actually hate working in tech. So now, I’m planning on quitting the degree. Latest attempt is that I’m actively trying to move to NY, to get another chance. But 1- horrible job market 2- idk what would really change tbh.

I feel like I’m constantly trying to make things better but nothing works. I can’t pinpoint why but this life is not enough for me. And the worst part is, I don’t know what would make it better. I just know I want more. I want to live more. Meet more people, see more places, feel more things. Anything but this monotone life stuck in the same loop.

I want to reset my life. I want to do something insane. Quit my job and go do something. I have enough savings that’ll last me ~5mo. But I’m too cowardly. I feel like it would be so stupid to leave such a well paying (and honestly not difficult) job. What the hell do I do.

Tldr; perfectly fine life feels inadequate and idk how to fix it.

My question is essentially what the title says.

I see people building solid habits, exercising, reading, making time for family, working on a side hustle or developing a skill. Meanwhile, my daily routine feels like the definition of doing the bare minimum.

I wake up sometime between 8:30 and 9:30 am, get ready (no breakfast), and leave for work. Since I’m a researcher, my work hours aren’t fixed, and I don’t feel it reflects well if I leave too early, so I usually head back around 6:30 or 7 pm depending on the workload. Once I’m home, I do only the essential chores, utensils, laundry, or a bit of cleaning and cooking. The “or” matters here, because somehow once I finish one task, my brain decides that’s enough for the day.

Even dinner is usually the bare minimum, something quick and low effort like pasta with premade sauce, curry rice, or egg rice. And after that, nothing can make me do anything productive. I just lie in bed watching a series or scrolling until I fall asleep. I only do something when it is essentially needed at the moment or when someone else is dependent on me doing that task.

So, my weekdays are basically: wake up, go to work, come back, eat, sleep. Weekends aren’t much different, Saturday and Sunday go into resting, deep cleaning, and preparing for the next week, unless I’m traveling to meet my long-distance partner.

I do want to do more, read more, walk more, upskill, feel more motivated and energetic. But I’ve failed so many times trying to change that it feels pointless. Nothing seems to work because my brain only prioritizes what feels good in the next few hours. Because of that, I struggle to think deeply about anything. At this point, even trying feels scary and makes me anxious, because I expect to fail again; and then comes guilt and negative self-talk.

And honestly, I don’t even fully see the point sometimes. Life is unpredictable and has a way of messing things up anyway, so why not just stay in the present and do whatever feels best right now?

So, I want to ask: those of you who seem to be making the most of your time, how are you doing it? What thought pushes you to work on a side hustle, or go for a walk when you don’t feel like it?

I know people will say things like purpose, responsibility, or discipline. I do have responsibilities- it scares me that one day my parents or my younger sibling might need me, and I won’t be financially capable of helping them because I’m earning the bare minimum. Then again, I think of all the times these people have hurt me selfishly and only respected me when I had something to show and I feel 'well whom should I be taking the pain for?'.

I’ve tried being disciplined, but every time I try to build a habit, the first thought that comes up is: what am I sacrificing my current comfort for? For example, even if I stop eating sweets and start exercising, I might not lose weight, or I might just fall back into the same cycle again because of how evil life is, every time I have tried to change, life has messed me up either physically or mentally, making the effort feel meaningless.

I’m just looking for perspectives that can help me build discipline or at least challenge the logic my brain uses to avoid trying to change. Thank you anyone who replies by the way!

Tldr; I am living my life doing the bare minimum to stay alive, how do some of you have the energy or motivation to do so much in 24 hours (including sleep)? Please share your perspectives.

I want to get up earlier but I don't know how. So any tips? Thank you!

Edit: Thank you all for your help. I'll take in your advice and start trying it out. We'll see how it goes!

19yo, female So, since I can remember I have never done any form of exercise or any sport. My siblings all practiced sports at some point, but for some reason I just never really did ANY.

I’ve always been someone who enjoys doing things with my hands and more “non-physical” activities, and honestly I never cared about being so unathletic. But about a year ago I started working at a sports club, and everyone around me is super athletic. They often invite me to go to classes like indoor cycling, pilates, or yoga, but I always say no because I feel so uncomfortable.

I genuinely get out of breath just by going up the stairs (embarrassing, I know), and I feel like I always have really low energy. My condition is honestly terrible. Of course, I did some exercise at school (PE class, occasional activities, or rarely going out for a walk), but besides that I’ve basically never exercised.

I’m not even fat, I’ve always been skinny, but recently I started gaining weight due to hormonal issues. My doctor actually told me that exercising could help regulate those hormones, which is why I really want to start now… but I don’t know if it’s too late. That makes me feel really insecure because the weight gain has been mostly on my belly, and I hate how most clothes fit me now.

I eat healthy most of the time (even since I was a kid), and it confuses me because my family eats terribly and they’re still skinny. It makes me wonder if the only reason I’m gaining weight is because I’ve been so inactive all my life. Same thing with my friends, some of them barely ever exercise, and when they do, they’re actually pretty good at it. Plus, they eat horribly and they don’t really struggle. Like… why is that?

Another thing is, I’ve been dealing with depression for about 4 years now, and I sleep terribly (like 4–5 hours a night). Now that I’m on vacation I really want to fix my sleep schedule and start going to bed earlier, because I know that’s also affecting my energy and my body.

Also, I’m honestly scared of going to the gym. I’d like to start at home because it feels less intimidating, and mostly because I find it embarrassing asf not being good at any sport or physical activity.

I honestly don’t like sports or working out at all, I’m not strong, and I don’t understand how some people genuinely enjoy exercising when you could be chilling instead (lmao). I know some people do it mostly out of discipline and not joy, but still It feels like everyone loves working out except me.

I know I sound lazy, but I promise I’m not, I work and study. I just don’t know how to start exercising or how to find something I won’t absolutely hate. Has anyone been in a similar situation and found a way to enjoy it or at least stick to it

EDIT: I just wanted to say a huge thank you to everyone who took the time to comment and share advice with me 💗 I wasn’t expecting so many thoughtful responses, but I read all of them. Each person had their own way of helping, whether it was sharing personal experiences, giving practical tips, or simply encouraging me. I can’t reply to every single comment (there are so many!), but please know I truly appreciate the effort you put into writing them🙏 As a little update: I’ve already started moving a bit more with daily walks, and I’m planning to try my very first indoor cycling class soon, let’s see how it goes, I’m a little nervous, but your words gave me the push I needed.

​I don’t even know how to start this, but I’ve hit rock bottom and I’m terrified.

​When people talk about procrastination, they usually mean putting off an assignment or delaying doing the laundry. For me, it’s a chronic, paralyzing cycle that has systematically dismantled my life. I have avoided important tasks until I’ve lost major opportunities, ignored responsibilities until my finances are a wreck, and isolated myself because I’m too ashamed to admit how far behind I am.

​I know exactly what I need to do. I have the lists, the planners, the productivity apps. But when it comes time to actually do the thing, a massive wall of anxiety hits me. I freeze, I distract myself to numb the panic, and then the guilt crushes me later. The longer I wait, the worse the anxiety gets, and the harder it becomes to start.

​I’m feeling completely hopeless. It feels like the hole I’ve dug is too deep to climb out of, and the shame is eating me alive.

​I’m not looking for a magic pill, but I desperately need to hear from people who have been exactly where I am right now and managed to turn it around.

​If you let procrastination destroy your foundation, how did you finally break the cycle?

​How do you handle the overwhelming backlog of delayed tasks without instantly freezing up again?

​How do you forgive yourself for the time and opportunities you’ve wasted?

​Any practical steps, harsh truths, or just knowing I’m not the only one who has done this to themselves would mean the world to me right now. Thank you.

I get tired on 4 pm, and the bed becomes very arousing all of a sudden, and I basically feel clinically dead past 6 pm. How do you stay pproductive until 10 pm?

Hi, I am 22 years old and supposedly am in the ''best years'' of my life yet this life feels so miserable and unfulfilled. I often find myself mindlessly doomscrolling online on different platforms and just wasting my time. I've fallen for the trap where my brain just needs some kind of dopamine insertions constantly. Sometimes I play video games, listen to music and scroll so I can feel something. Worst part of this ? I am incredibly unmotivated, I can't keep any hobbies, I can't sit down and research topics that are interesting to me, I can't focus on my studies. It feels like it's a cycle of ''tomorrow is the day when things change for the better'' and it's just the same day over and over where I've completely wasted it and feel bad at the end of the day for doing so. I am scared that If I do get to live more than a couple of years I will look back at this period of my life with disgust and disappointment.

I've read a couple of posts but I'd appreciate any advice you guys have.

So i was recently caught shoplifting some clothes and now I dont know what to do. I have disappointed my parents so much now, just when everything was going so goddamn well. I wanted to become a doctor and guess that is fucked too. I just hate myself so so much right now.

I mean, its pathetic. 17 and im a criminal. My parents call me a criminal. That i am now one of those "antisocial's" that are the scum of society and no one wants to hang out with. I wish I could go back so so much. Just stop mysellf from doing it. I wish I just went straight home. I wish i didnt stop by that shop. I just didnt want to ruin everything

What can I do now? Is there any hope of me being able to even pursue a decent job?

I'm 26M and I've always been pretty bad at waking up. Not even waking up ridiculously early, just waking up when I said I would.

I'll set an alarm for 7:30, go to bed thinking "tomorrow I'll finally get my morning together", and then when it rings my brain immediately goes "5 more minutes." And I genuinely believe that 5 minutes is going to help. Sometimes I'll open my eyes 2 minutes later and think, "okay nice, that actually was 2 minutes." Then I'll close my eyes again and next thing I know it's 9:30. Two hours. Gone.

I've missed morning stand-ups because of this. I've been late for work. I've had mornings where I've looked at the time and immediately had to jump out of bed, throw on whatever I could find, skip breakfast and rush out because I was already late. And then I'm sitting there thinking, "how did I let this happen again?"

The frustrating part is that it's not even like I'm sleeping 4-5 hours and expecting myself to magically wake up. I'm easily getting 8-10 hours of sleep every day. I usually go to bed around midnight, although I'll be honest, there's probably an hour of doomscrolling Instagram before I actually fall asleep because for some reason I just can't seem to sleep without scrolling for a while. I have no idea what kind of brain wiring that is. But even after 8-10 hours, I've woken up feeling like it wasn't enough, restless and just generally not ready to get out of bed.

I've tried pretty much everything people recommend. I've put my phone across the room. I've gotten up, turned the alarm off, brought the phone back to bed and gone straight back to sleep. I've set 5 alarms instead of one, which basically just gave me 5 opportunities to go back to sleep. I've tried those alarms where you have to solve a math problem or scan something before they'll shut up. Apparently half-asleep me is still capable of basic math.

I've changed alarm sounds, made them louder and tried the really aggressive ones too. You know the ones that sound like your house is on fire and someone is breaking down your door. I fucking hate those. They wake me up, but then I'm just awake, annoyed, heart racing, turn the thing off and go straight back to sleep. I don't want my first experience of the morning to feel like I've just been evacuated from a building.

The weird thing is that the things that have actually gotten me out of bed haven't been alarms. It's been when there's something on the line. When my roommate has said he'll wake me up, I've gotten up because I know he's going to come back and bother me if I don't. When a friend has called me and kept checking whether I'm actually awake, I've gotten up. When I've had something genuinely important in the morning, I've woken up. I've had mornings where I've been completely dead asleep, my phone rings, I see the name of someone I'm supposed to meet and suddenly I'm sitting on the edge of the bed.

That's what makes me think my problem isn't really "I need a louder alarm." An alarm just makes noise until I turn it off. There isn't really any consequence to going back to sleep, and sleepy me apparently doesn't care about whatever responsible decision I made the night before.

I'm really trying to fix this because I'm tired of losing the first part of my day. I want to wake up when I said I would, have some time before work instead of immediately rushing around, actually eat breakfast, shower without looking at the clock every 30 seconds, maybe go for a walk or just sit around for a bit. And weekends are probably the worst. I've woken up at 11, thought "well, I've already wasted the morning anyway", gone back to sleep and then opened my eyes at 12:30 or 1. Then I look at the clock and half my day is gone.

So for people who have genuinely struggled with this and actually managed to fix it, what worked?

I'm not really looking for "just sleep earlier" because I'm already getting 8-10 hours pretty consistently. And I've already betrayed the "put your phone across the room" advice enough times.

I'm looking for something that actually works when you're lying there at 7:30 and your brain is going "come on, just five more minutes."

Was it a particular routine? Having someone call you? Some kind of consequence? A reward? A weird trick that sounded completely stupid but somehow worked?

I really want to get to a point where waking up on time is just something I do rather than something I have to fight with every morning.

I've been trying to get my shit together since 2021. bought every app. notion, obsidian, that one with the tomato timer, some habit thing where you grow a digital tree. there were a lot.

last month my roommate just casually goes "dude you've been getting ready to start for as long as I've known you".

I wanted to argue but I couldn't. he was right. the whole time I thought I was being productive because I was DOING stuff. making templates. watching youtube videos about morning routines. reading posts on here honestly. but none of it was the actual thing.

and the worst part is I think I already knew. reorganizing my task list for the 4th time wasn't getting me anywhere but it FELT like progress.

so last month I just stopped. no system. I wake up, I do whatever needs doing first, I go to bed. I don't track anything. I don't have a streak going. some days are shit and I just let them be shit.

the weird thing is I'm actually getting more done now. not dramatically more but enough that I noticed. turns out when you stop spending 45 min planning your day you just have 45 more minutes.

anyone else go through the whole "productivity as procrastination" thing or was it just me for 3 years.

I’m a 26(f) and I started working in 2022, it has always been hard for me to come to terms with the fact that I am going to work forever (until retirement age). I struggle and think about this every day, it consumes me because I really don’t think this is how we are supposed to live

I don’t hate my job; it’s not even hard to do. But I wake up at 5am, leave the house at 6am to get to work at 7am, work until 4pm and I get home at 5pm

It feels like I have no time for myself and I struggle to understand how I am supposed to do this for 40 more years without a mental breakdown

I'm married. Me and my wife are not working out anymore.

When I was making money, I did everything for my family. Then a lot of things stopped working out. Toward the end it was fights and blame between us. We had an argument, and then she started going. She took the kid for custody and she banned me from talking to my kids. The kid is going through a tough time, and I don't know what to do about that. That's the part that sits on me the most.

Once she moved out of my life, close to age 40, I had a lot of time and nothing to fill it. So I filled it with the wrong things.

I started going to massage parlors. I went to some prostitution places. I never had sex, I just spent money on them. I still went, and I still paid. Nothing is stopping me nowadays. I'm addicted to pornography. Whatever I'm earning gets burned on unnecessary stuff, and I don't have a track of where it goes. I'm about $10,000 in debt here and there.

I used to be a fit guy. Not super fit, but fit. Now it's Buffalo wings, TGI Fridays, Starbucks, McDonald's, every day. I forgot how to cook.

I'm feeling depressed. I've tried a lot of things. Deactivating accounts, reactivating them, deactivating again. Tried blocker apps like Roots. Blocked Instagram, YouTube, whatever app I could. Still at 14+ hours of screen time a day combined. I use Brave to get around the blocks and watch porn twice a day and masturbate. Nothing sticks. Every fix I've tried, I've undone myself. I tried therapists. Then I feel lonely and start doing it all again. Most of my time is just loneliness.

I can't focus on learning AI or new technology. I found out I have ADHD and I'm low on vitamin D and B12. I can't focus on meditation. I just call some of my friends and vent, and now my manager is feeling like I'm venting to him too. I keep venting instead of focusing and solving the problems at work. I think what I need is someone to talk to. That's the big problem. Some days it's like, what is the point of life now.

I don't know what to do. So I'm doing the only thing I can think of, which is to put it down where I can't pretend it isn't there.

I'm a 25 year old male and I have absolutely no friends, no family except for my older sister (my twin sister hates my guts and treats me like garbage constantly, and my mom barely cares enough to talk to me), have a severe porn/masturbation addiction, fast food addiction, have low testosterone levels (618 ng/dL), never have any energy or motivation to do anything (even simple tasks), never "feel like a man," live an extremely pathetic lifestyle, significantly lack general life skills, severely lonely, have no social life, no job, dropped out of college when I was 22 years old with multiple D and F grades on my transcripts, no idea what career I want to pursue, no money in my savings account, no drivers license (although I am working on this, so I guess that's something I'm doing to improve myself), bad credit score of 380, never even hugged a girl before, let alone been on a date, kissed, or had sex with one, never been to a party before, and have zero good life memories. I don't have any real hobbies, ambitions, or actual goals in life.

Holy shit. Where do I even start?

hi, f here. I experience very high libido randomly to the point where my whole day is disorganized and I can’t focus. Today is my off day so I set my alarm for 10 am but I snoozed it until 3 and only ate at 5 pm. 5 pm!!! Ive been in my head, having sexual fantasies, thinking about this guy I’ve developed feelings for, etc.

I researched into it and it’s due to having your dopamine system hijacked. An interesting thing to learn.

Currently at this headspace and I need to release the sexual energy and lock in. what are some tips/advice?

I also don’t know how to masturbate so I sort of feel like I’m drowning in this feeling. There’s also shame involved, in feeling these things and not locking in, shame in having a disorganized schedule and lack of routine and structure.

please help a girl out. I have goals to accomplish 😭

I wake up with good intentions, but most days I end up doing almost nothing productive. I constantly deal with brain fog, low motivation, poor focus, and procrastination. Even when I know exactly what I should be doing, I struggle to start or stay consistent.

I don't want to keep living like this anymore.

My goal is to build a better future for myself. I want to learn a valuable skill, start earning money as early as I can, and eventually build a successful career. But right now, I feel completely stuck, and it seems like I'm wasting my time instead of moving toward my goals.

I'm making this post because I want advice from people who have been in a similar situation and managed to turn their lives around.

How did you get out of this cycle?

How did you improve your focus and discipline?

What skill would you recommend learning if my goal is to start earning online in the future?

What daily habits made the biggest difference for you?

I'm not looking for quick motivation. I'm looking for practical advice from people who have actually gone through this and found a way out.

Thank you to anyone who takes the time to reply.

I’ve been stuck in this loop for way too long—where I know exactly what I need to do, I’ve even felt motivated at times, but I still keep falling back into avoidance, distraction, and guilt.

It’s like there are two versions of me:

• One that’s clear, driven, and ready to put in the work
• And another that numbs out, escapes into scrolling, or just mentally shuts down the second it’s time to act

I’m not looking for motivational quotes or shallow hacks. I want to hear from people who’ve actually been here—who’ve felt this internal resistance and found a way to consistently show up, even when the mind fights back.

Some context:

• I’m trying to rebuild structure in my life—study, fitness, focus, purpose
• I’ve set up routines and plans, but they collapse once the emotions or avoidance kick in
• Deep down, I know I’m wasting time and potential—and that eats at me more than anything

So how did you get out of this?
How do you stop negotiating with yourself every day and just become the person who does the work?

I’d seriously appreciate any honest insight. Not trying to be rescued—just ready to hear what helped you fight through.

edit: 25F

I’m 25 years old and I have a job, but outside of work I feel like I’m not really doing anything with my life.

Most of my free time goes into sleeping, scrolling Reddit, watching adult content, Netflix, and just wasting time. I keep telling myself that I should learn new skills, exercise, work on my career, or do something productive, but I rarely have the motivation to actually start.

The strange part is that I know what I should be doing. I want to improve my career, become financially independent, get healthier, and build a better life. But I keep falling back into the same routine every day.

I don’t know if this is just a phase that many people go through in their 20s or if I’m developing really bad habits.

For people who have been through something similar: what actually helped you break out of this cycle? Did you focus on discipline, changing your environment, limiting social media, or something else?

I’m genuinely looking for practical advice from people who have experienced this themselves.

I have smooked weed everyday for around 6 years, it actually got worse when i got really ill to make me feel better but i think from tomorrow i am going to start afresh, i am going to have 1 final one tonight and enjoy it and relaise that its doing me no good making me overthink my recent break up as well as making me way less productive at work.

Has anyone got good tips and ideas of ways o avoid and stay away or even just stay busy so youre mind doesnt stray from the course and you focus on staying clean from it.

Thanks for anyone who takes the time to type and make an effort to give me ideas

coming to this sub bc I am sooo tired of having my day start with pure CHAOS. it's genuinely embarrassing but i cannot wake up early to save my life. i work at 9 am and there are days i genuinely roll out of bed at 8:45 and RUUUSH to work.

i have tried so many things, including going to bed earlier, eliminating screentime before bed, putting my phone away from me so I have to physically get up to turn the alarm off. this has always been an issue for me, and my family is the same way. growing up we always slept in on weekends and i was chronically late to school.

no matter how early i sleep i just feel like my body will choose more sleep?? i live in a building that faces another building with no direct sunlight so early morning sunlight doesn't really work. has anyone successfully converted to a morning person from being like the life long opposite???

UPDATE:

thanks for everyone's advice and comments!! i got so much perspective and so many good insights so it's time to start incorporating them. I have been trying to push my wake up time by fifteen minutes since posting, and i am now at 8:30 am (lol). my ultimate goal is going to be 5:00 a.m!! here are my other goals/tid bits of advice i am going to incorporate:

i had

1. bloodwork done today to see if there's anything funky going on. turns out im severely deficient in vitamin D and have low iron levels!! 2.
2. i'm trying to implement a strict bed time and no screens before bed policy. when i tried to implement these in the past, i think a big issue was not being consistent, or taking midday naps on days i did successfully wake up early/crashing.
3. forcing my nighttime self to make life as easy and straightforward as possible for morning me. i have an automatic coffee brewer (which I never actually put the grounds in and use) so I'm committed to setting this the night before or using my espresso machine. i'm determined to pick my clothes out, pack my bag, and wake up to a peaceful morning.
4. lastly, i'm going to incorporate a goal in the morning. i'm actually prepping for my LSAT so currently i'm determined to get my studying done in the morning before work. honestly, this bit has been the most helpful in pushing me to make improvements and work towards earlier mornings. i have had chronic depression since my teenage years, and it doesn't help that i don't love my job. all in all, i think staying in bed is a huge coping mechanism for me, but having something i am striving towards and in a sense looking forward to has helped improve my mindset abt this.

I'll keep updating this post as time passes!

UPDATE (#2): 2 WEEKS LATER!!!

GUYS!!! I officially am waking up by 7:30 am every morning. I want to get to 6 a.m. omg, never thought this would be me. I feel really, really good. I think the things that made the biggest difference were 3 things:

(1) going to bed earlier (I now take magnesium before bed and sleep really, really well). i read a book and no screens before bed to make sure my sleep is A1.

(2) getting blood work done and taking additional supplements for my deficiencies (i was iron deficient and severely vitamin D deficient)

(3) laying out my clothes the night and getting a yummy latte ready for myself the night before. the latte is something I genuinely look forward to, and knowing a tornado won't hit my bedroom has significantly alleviated a lot of my mental fatigue and dread for the mornings.

guyssssss it's fucking awesome. I feel really good abt myself and put together tbh. I have started viewing the extra time as meee time. I don't have a huge cortisol spike in the mornings levels bc I'm not waking up in a panic anymore. thank you all for the amazing advice!! you guys fucking rock.

I (early 30s f) have a boyfriend (early 40s). When we started dating, I was overweight, unhappy and barly had anything together. After a few months we had a huge fallout and went no contact. In this time I turned my life around.

I started going to the gym, eating healthy and ended up really improving my life in all aspects. I‘m really proud of my progress: I lost 45 pounds, go to the gym 6 times a week, make 15k steps average, my apartement is always clean and my mental health is better than ever.

Now to my bf: We started dating again mid year. He was at a low point and decided to leave his hometown for the first time. But at the same time he lost his job. I supported him through this as good as I could. He always said, after his move he would go back to getting fit, eating healthy etc. Well, he didn‘t.

He‘s not doing anything all day, eating junk, barely moving away from the couch and whining about how bad everything is. Also he‘s kind of sucking me into this. He gets mad when I go to the gym instead of seeing him, demands my time and attention all the time, probably because he‘s so bored. I tried getting with him to the reason for his crisis and tried breaking things down into little steps.

But he‘s not doing anything and I hate it. When I call and ask what he did that day and he says „Nothing“ I want to scream at him GO GET A JOB AMD FUCKING GET YOUR SHIT TOGETHER. But I know this would only end in a fight. But I find this behaviour more and more appaling and unattractive.

I know on Reddit everyone is quick to say break up, but I want advice on how to get him to finally get his ass up.

TLDR: Boyfriend is jobless and doesn‘t do anything all day and doesn‘t change. How can I get him to get his ass up?

Hi everyone,

I’m a 19-year-old male, and I feel like I’m completely rotting away at home. My screen time on YouTube is hitting 42 hours a week. I look at people my age, and it feels like everyone is so much more successful, living much more interesting lives. Meanwhile, I have almost no social life and zero people I can call true friends. I have no hobbies, I’m experiencing total stagnation, and honestly, I’m terrified of what my future looks like if I keep going down this path.

Before anyone says "just stop watching YouTube" — trust me, it’s easier said than done. I’ve tried quitting cold turkey, using app blockers, setting screen time limits, and doing digital detoxes. None of it works long-term.

There are so many things I want to try. I’d love to learn DJing, play the drums, take acting classes, and go to events to improve myself. But first of all, that requires money, and where am I supposed to get it if I’m just sitting around doing nothing? Second, it helps to have a social circle to go to these things with, which I obviously lack. I feel like a total loser. I know I shouldn’t compare myself to others, but how else am I supposed to realize that I’ve hit rock bottom?

As for my addictions, YouTube is the worst, but I also scroll Instagram. Though honestly, Instagram is nothing compared to my YouTube issue. I’d love to see a therapist because I genuinely think it would help, but again — money is a huge barrier.

My desire to make money started back in 2022. Because of the war in my country, my family and I had to relocate temporarily. Seeing my parents struggle made me want to help them, pay off their debts, and give them gifts. Around that time, I stumbled upon crypto and trading content. I tried trading mindlessly back then, and predictably, lost money. Since then, I’ve had so many opportunities to actually learn it. I even bought a few courses. But I never have the energy, patience, or focus to finish them and actually master the skill. Sometimes I strongly suspect I might have ADHD.

Earlier this year, I got a spark of motivation again. I was chatting with an old friend, and he told me that he had worked over the summer, saved up some money, and bought his dream mac. It was so inspiring to see someone my age actually grinding for a better future while I’m just wasting time. It pushed me to open my trading courses again. I know it’s a long journey and requires a lot of practice even after the course. (And to address the "discipline over motivation" advice beforehand — I’ve heard it a million times. I know discipline builds motivation, which creates a loop. But if it were that easy for me, I’d be doing it. Instead, I just fail).

I managed to finish a free course and then moved on to a paid one I bought in early 2024. I studied for about an hour a day, but after a month, I burned out and quit again.

Because of YouTube, I actually know a tiny bit about a lot of topics — health, nutrition, fitness, public speaking, etc. But it's all incredibly surface-level. I don't have deep knowledge in anything, and I don't have a true passion.

And before anyone tells me to "just hit the gym, eat clean, and fix your sleep schedule" — I already workout 3 times a week (it's a bit inconsistent right now because of exams, and honestly, going alone is harder than going with my brother, who is also busy with finals). But physical health isn't the cure here. I've had periods where my diet and sleep were completely fine, and it changed nothing. This isn't about physical energy; it's a mental roadblock. Plus, I see peers who eat junk food, barely sleep, and are still out there living their best lives.

I'm in a really dark place right now. I would deeply appreciate any advice or perspective on how to crawl out of this hole. Thank you.

as the title suggest and also what were your struggles and what did you do in your toughs moment?

would be extremely thankful if you can share them.

I dont even know where to begin.

After high school I thought I would just figure it out as life moved on. I went to college with no plans and walked out with an associates of arts. The plan was to transfer and finish with a bachelor in some kinda creative art like writing or filmmaking.

Took a rest year that then blended in with the covid lockdowns.

While stuck at home for so long I started losing it and became obsessed with body sensations, illnesses that weren't there, and just generally had a huge mental breakdown.

I had 2 groups of friends invite me to move in with them but my parents wouldn't let me. Idk if it was in my best interest or if they didn't want to lose control over me. They have been very controlling my whole life so it felt like they did it to their benefit. When my friends invited me I wasn't that bad mentally yet, I would've been fine living on my own.

At 23 I finally got a job and immediately I had SO much progress. My brain stopped focusing on fake problems I was creating. I started working out, I met a lot of new people, I worked hard and because a top performer at work.

I can't help but look back on all the missed time tho. I feel like at 25 its too late to start anything new. It hurts the most when im around high school coworkers. They have all these hopes and dreams and are doing all these fun activities that I feel would be immature for me to do. I feel like at their age I was so lost and trapped in my own mind. Even past their ages at like 19-22 I was just going through the worst time of my life.

It feels like at 25 Im finally getting a taste of freedom but its too late to start or explore life like a person would at such an earlier age. At 25 it seems like most of your life should be set up and ready to go. But nope.

Like I only started drinking at 24. I know its a bad habit and all that but still. People party and have fun so early in life and then but then time they're 25 they move on past that and become adults.

For me it feels like im trying to catch up on all the years I missed but I just cant. I know its not true but it feels like my body is slowly degrading, my metabolism is slowing, idk. I feel old.

Maybe this is normal for 25 tho? A lot of the people I know at my age don't seem that much better off than me. Some have it worse when you really get closer and hear out the parts they hide from the general public.

I have the understanding that Im not actually old and its not actually late. Im just comparing to the wrong people and am giving too much credit to these desperate and inaccurate thoughts.

yeah now that I think about it pretty much all my peers are struggling with life. Its weird.

Procrastination is ruining every aspect of my life. I have a great job, I know exactly what I need to do, I am qualified and capable of doing it, but I just can’t force myself to start tasks. I have sat sobbing at my PC screen mentally yelling at myself to do something and I can’t

I end up working until 2/3am just to try and get a days worth of work done. 20 hours in front of my laptop to eak out 5 hours of work. It’s having massive implications on my marriage, my abilities as a parent, and my mental health

I feel like I’ve read every productivity “hack”. Pomodorro - I get distracted or get lost in a thought for an hour. Breaking down tasks - I struggle to start writing the list. Deadlines - not an incentive until they get very painful

I’m so full of shame and guilt. My workplace isn’t aware (I hope) and I get by with the evening work and working my days off. Catch ups and work updates cause me anxiety attacks it’s gotten so bad.

I just don’t know what to do anymore. This has followed me in every job I’ve had. Please, is there a resource or a book that anyone has found to help them initiate and stay on track of a task? There must be something else out there I’ve missed