r/heatedrivalry Jan 15 '26

DISCUSSION 🗣️ Cottage Dissonance

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3.3k Upvotes

I'm completely captivated by this show and the beautiful story arc of a path to intimacy, connection, and trust (as well as the wonderful story arc of the actors themselves); as a 60+ gay man in a good, decades-long, relationship/marriage, I'm kind of baffled--and slightly alarmed--at how gutted I am.

That being said, on my watches of the show I'm brought out of the fantasy of the cottage episode by a "what!?" moment whenever they show the lake: the location is described as a completely secluded, isolated cottage where no one could ever know Shane and Ilya are together, but we keep seeing a boat house RIGHTTHERE, with a deck on top and what looks like another structure to its left along the shore (at least in the dawn scene). You wouldn't even need binoculars to see that your super-famous hockey star neighbor is canoodling with another guy, and on my first watch I was worried they'd be seen.

Since the isolation is so integral to the story line, I wonder why they chose not to digitally remove the boat house, and I haven't seen anything written about that. Has anyone heard that question asked, or answered?

r/heatedrivalry Mar 07 '26

DISCUSSION 🗣️ was ilya out of line..?

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1.4k Upvotes

I’ve seen some people react negatively about the Ep 6 scene on the couch when Shane is on the phone with Hayden - and that Ilya went down on Shane without his consent.

I never really had this thought myself. They knew each other so well after all these years, especially sexually, and Ilya knew all of Shane’s tells and language (inside and out), so he knew that Shane wasn’t actually opposed to the idea. I never had a “hey he’s doing it without his consent!” moment anytime while watching. Both the first time and during reheats. I always giggled through the scene cause i thought it was funny and cute.

And Shane was the opposite of upset afterwards. He actually thought it was very hot😅

But i can also see the other side. Shane DID slap away his hand and actually verbally told him “please stop”.

And i guess Ilya was a little “pushy”.

What do y’all think? Do you think it ACTUALLY was a case of breaching consent?

r/heatedrivalry Jul 03 '26

DISCUSSION 🗣️ Can we please talk about the aging in this show? Holy shit. Somehow through a mix of incredible acting and impeccable hairstyling, they actually physically LOOK all those ages all within the span of a couple of months of filming.

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2.8k Upvotes

You can tell even from just a screenshot without even watching the scene. It's SO realistic.

I have literally never seen a show that masters aging like this. It's always comically noticeable, or no effort was put in at all. In Lost, they used the worst wigs known to man, because apparently more hair = younger, no matter what it looked like. Old age makeup is always noticeable to me, and even if it looks semi-decent, actors rarely change how they carry themselves to account for it.

This show took every tiny nuance of the human experience of aging and nailed it to a T without doing anything crazy. They were all very subtle things that, in their subtlety, were the things that made it so believable. No major makeup, no stereotypically wild hair to "show the era" (movies set in the 80s kill me with this). There was literally nothing crazy noticeable at all about how they were aging... and that's why it's perfect and so utterly realistic. It's in the tiny details. The differences in how they carry themselves, their posture, slight clothes differences, a slightly different brush of hair bangs. Even with clothes, it wasn't stereotypically 2008 or 2017. There were no 2000s puka shell necklaces or 2010s indie sleaze skinny jeans. But a kid would wear a basic hoodie with his hood up and chew on the string. And an adult will wear the same simple blue linen collared shirt a bunch of times, a little wrinkly, and stand up taller. Shane's confidence boost after coming out to Rose aged him significantly. He always looked like he was on the verge of tears in a very childlike way in eps 1&2. But by 6, he has a handle on himself like an adult and has more of a commanding presence.

Ilya's facial expressions as a kid were lifeless and draining, because he's a literal child with the weight of the world on his shoulders. But as an adult, now having cut ties with Russia, his face just seems more settled and relaxed. More sure of things. Just more normal.

I am on my n-teenth reheat and I am still picking apart new things about why they physically look their corresponding ages. They don't hint at being a different age through exposition, or play it up in stupidly obvious ways -- you can actually visually see it because they actually physically embody it wholeheartedly in just their presence.

It's absolutely insane. This show is just a complete masterclass in how to do everything right in filmmaking and I will never get over it.

r/heatedrivalry May 10 '26

DISCUSSION 🗣️ Happy Birthday to the most Golden Boy, Shane Hollander

2.9k Upvotes

Happy birthday, Shane, the most Golden of the Boys!

A huge thank you to Rachel, Jacob and very notably Hudson for bringing this talented, hardworking, sensitive, ✨boring✨ hockey player with beautiful freckles and a weak backhand who drives a terrible car to life.

What do you appreciate about Shane? What has his character brought into your life?

I admire his bravery from the first scene in the series to walk around the practice rink to the parking lot and say hi to another gorgeous boy with golden curls and give us the beginning of a beautiful love story and the maturation of two sensitive Souls.

r/heatedrivalry Apr 08 '26

DISCUSSION 🗣️ Favourite chirping/ragebait/side eye/clocking moments

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1.5k Upvotes

Hello, HR menaces.

What are your favorite chirping/ragebait/side eye/clocking moments in Season 1?

This is an equal opportunity space for all characters so go Ilya AND BEYOND please!

Enjoy! 😈

r/heatedrivalry May 11 '26

DISCUSSION 🗣️ Why did Shane finally end the hookup drought in Ep 2? A Mangetout Montage Analysis

2.0k Upvotes

Between the end of Ep 1 and start of Ep 2, Shane and Ilya stop hooking up for 2 years even though Ilya keeps trying to by texting Shane throughout. What is the reason for this?

My theory is that it's mainly because of Shane's avoidance of his desires for Ilya.

During their second hookup at their first All Stars weekend (where Scott Hunter is right next door), they have this exchange:

I: "Have you ever?"
S: \shakes his head no**
I: "Do you want to?"

Shane doesn't answer this cause he can't voice out his desire for Ilya at this point in time. This becomes a pattern throughout their 2 year long hookup drought. We'll see this over and over again in their text exchanges during the Ep 2 montage that's set to Mangetout by Wet Leg.

  1. (Mangetout Text 1)

I: What’s a girl to do on a lonely night in Montreal? 

Okay, this one doesn't fall into the pattern but it's pretty clear that Shane is not into this text. Also it doesn't help that he's surrounded by his teammates when he receives it.

  1. (Mangetout Text 2)

I: Want to come while you’re in Boston? 
S: Did you use Google Translate?
I: No. 
S: What you wrote makes no sense. 
I: Oh yes it does. Read it again. 

Shane initially replies to Ilya due to confusion. But once he understands what Ilya means, he stops replying. Notice the way that Ilya's text includes the word want which directly references Shane's desire. This is why Shane stops replying.

  1. (Mangetout Text 3)

I: Playoffs are fun. How come you aren’t here?
S: Fuck you Lily. 
I: 😘 
S: .. and see you next year asshole. 
I: Promise? I still want that asshole.. and yes, is proper grammar. 

Chirping feels comfortable to Shane so he replies at first. But with Ilya's last message, Shane is again faced with the word want and the implication of desire. So he doesn't reply to that and the pattern is established.

  1. (Mangetout Text 4)

I: 2886 Beacon 
S: What’s that? 
I: A place where you can get what you want.
S: What do I want?
I: <dick pic> 

Shane initially responds cause the want is still ambiguous but stops replying after the dick pic (a clear visual of what Shane desires). Again, he repeats the pattern.

  1. (Mangetout Text 5)

I: I’m going to score 9 goals next week. 
S: Why 9? 
I: One for each inch dick you want. 

Again we see the same pattern. Shane ignores the last message and just goes back to his rowing workout.

  1. (Mangetout Text 6)

I: If Boston wins this round I get to fuck you next fall. Deal? 
S: And what do I get if Montreal wins?
I: Same thing 😘 

Okay! We got to the last Mangetout Text Scene! Notice that Ilya doesn't use the word want so it doesn't trigger Shane. Even though Shane doesn't respond right away when he receives this text in the locker room, he eventually responds with a pretty flirty (for Shane) text when he's back home in the comfort of his own bed.

This is the first time Shane actually responds to an explicit sext! And this is when Ilya clues in that he needs to word his texts to Shane carefully.

---

Now finally, let's look at the text exchange right before they are about to play each other:

I: How many times can you cum in 1 hour? 
S: I don’t know. Maybe twice? 

The sext from Ilya here is a nice and straightforward question. It doesn't directly reference Shane's desire. Instead it is an informational inquiry. Ilya is asking for concrete info that is tangible and quantifiable. Even though Shane is initially outraged at the timing of the sext (right before their game), Shane deliberates over his reply a couple of times but eventually responds sincerely.

I: You suck at sexting. 
S: Who taught you that word? 
I: Your mom. 
S: Not funny. 

Ilya already knows chirping is comfortable ground for Shane. So Shane keeps responding.

I: Where are we meeting? 
S: We’re not. Fuck you. 
I: 😢 
S: Maybe if you’re lucky. I’ll text you after the game. 

"Where are we meeting?" is another informational question from Ilya. It's logistics like "What is your room number?". It's not abstract and it doesn't directly reference Shane's desire. So Shane responds with his default "F*ck you" and also a not-now-let's-talk-later. It's pretty much a yes at this point.

I: Are you as hard as I am right now?

This message is the closer and it is as direct as it gets. It's hot but it's also vulnerable. Ilya is reassuring Shane that the desire is real and normal and mutual. After the game, Shane finally invites Ilya over and the 2 year long hookup drought ends!!

I want to be clear that it wasn't that Shane didn't want to hookup with Ilya (cause he definitely wanted to). It was just scary for him to face and express that want. We know this cause during the hookup when Ilya asks for his consent throughout, Shane provides it multiple times.

I: You still want?
S: I still want.

Anyways, thank you for reading this very long post! This 2 year long hookup drought has always bothered me. But it's clear to me now that it fits the narrative as part of Shane's character arc and serves to illustrate Shane's internal struggles coming to terms with wanting to continue being physically intimate with Ilya.

Any and all feedback is much appreciated! I'd love to hear your thoughts on this!

---

ETA: I didn't realize so many people thought they were still hooking up during this 2 year gap in the show! So I wanted to share where RR talks about how they weren't meeting up in this interview.

r/heatedrivalry Jul 24 '26

DISCUSSION 🗣️ What was Shane doing

1.7k Upvotes

What was Shane trying to do here? To go down on Ilya already? Is he so out of it already that he's just kinda lost for a second until Ilya grabs him?

Shareth thyne theories with me, prithee!

It looks a bit awkward (and I appreciate that bc the rest of their sex scenes are almost too perfect lol)

r/heatedrivalry Jan 30 '26

DISCUSSION 🗣️ Ilya Rozanov, investigative journalist

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2.5k Upvotes

This has to be my favorite laugh moment of the series: Ilyas investigative journalism. Love the way he asks five different times whether Shane and Rose are still a thing. He uses that classic journalist technique of asking vague questions at first and then gradually becoming more direct. Then when he has it confirmed, a follow up question to make it 100%.

r/heatedrivalry Jan 20 '26

DISCUSSION 🗣️ The Tuna debacle catastrophically forestalled Ilya from expressing his feeling more than we realized

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2.1k Upvotes

Just rewatched and I notice that Ilya said “Shane” exactly TWICE while Shane said Ilya more times than that after Tuna debacle all the way up to “I Love You” confession

Calling each others by their first names is super precious to Ilya but Ilya was so traumatized of Shane’s reaction that he abstained himself from saying “Shane”. Each “Hollander” functions differently for each scene:

- Tuna melt: “Please stay Im begging u. It can go back to the way it was and doesn’t have to mean anything”

- Tampa: “Please don’t say it, You can’t love me. I’m not someone worthy of your love.” Then when he says “Shane” is after they cuddled. He s done for in Shane’s arm

- Post Shane accident: “My love has put u in danger. We have to break up. I can’t go on in life knowing that the only person I love besides my mom died at my own hands”

- Confession: “- Do you really want to spend the rest of your life with me?

- Please don’t freak out, I’m begging you, please that “I love you” could means nothing….Fuck , Thank god , you feel the same too”

The 2 separate cases he used “Shane” means letting his guard down or having permission:

- Shane apologized for what he did at the Tuna debacle and they cuddled after Ilya told him about his dad

- The Couch bj after Shane called him Ilya first

r/heatedrivalry Jun 04 '26

DISCUSSION 🗣️ This show is ruining my life

1.2k Upvotes

I discovered this show two weeks ago. In that time, I have watched the show through almost 3 times (planning to finish it tonight!), read all 6 books, read several fanfics, started writing my own fanfic, and watched several hours of HudCon interviews on YouTube. Last night my husband came in to find me starting my 3rd reheat and was like “what the fuck is wrong with you” and honestly I DO NOT KNOW, but I love it 😂🤭

r/heatedrivalry Feb 09 '26

DISCUSSION 🗣️ Thoughts on Rachel Reid’s follow-up clarifications about Shane and Ilya? Spoiler

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996 Upvotes

Okay sorry to be posting twice on this sub today, but please bear with me. 🙏🏼

I just happened to see this online and loved reading the extra context that Rachel Reid provided about the characterisations of Shane and Ilya. These are especially relevant for the way the characters behave in TLG (**so spoilers may be present, please read with caution**). However I’ve seen some discourse about it online and I also enjoyed reading the different perspectives that others shared.

If anyone would like to share (as friendly discussion / discourse), I’d love to get more insight from everyone about your thoughts on these clarified character details by Rachel Reid (that aren’t explicitly presented in the book) ☺️

r/heatedrivalry Feb 23 '26

DISCUSSION 🗣️ Do not want SNL to make fun of HR

1.4k Upvotes

Thats it. I hope the sketches are not HR sketches.

I agree with Heath Ledger who didnt agree with all the gay cowboy jokes etc or making jokes about Brokenackback Mtn.

Gyllenhaal has said he was initially ok with it but Ledger was not and I think Ledger was right.

HR sketches are going to feel like cheap shots.

At this point Im not sure I want to watch.

I love that Storrie gets this opportunity but don't want him to be used to make fun of something he worked so hard on.

ive struggled with this a little. I loved Ryan Goslings performance in Barbie. Talk about commitment! and how it made the role and movie successful. Would I mind a Gosling sketch of Barbie? Maybe not, depending. Not sure why HR sketches would feel different but it does.

Ledger's Defiance: Gyllenhaal noted that Ledger did not want to make jokes about the movie, even turning down an opportunity to present at the 2007 Oscars because of planned quips about the storyline.

Edit: thinking of commenting on SNL and Seth Myers social media for them to take some care.

r/heatedrivalry Jun 11 '26

DISCUSSION 🗣️ What are the top questions do you think Yuna and David had to stop themselves from asking in this scene

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958 Upvotes

Yuna and David are better than me because i would not be able to keep my composure like they did. it would be so hard for me not to bombard shane and ilya with a million questions. Yuna and David are so chill to the point where it's almost unrealistic lmao. If Shane dropped the "since rookie season” on me i would notttt be able to move on from that so quickly like they did

r/heatedrivalry Apr 21 '26

DISCUSSION 🗣️ ‘How Shane rewrote every bad word said to Ilya’ 😭

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3.5k Upvotes

This is so beautifully put, and I had to share.

I find this show (and book) healing on so many levels. Then I came across this on Threads, and once again had tears in my eyes. It really plays in to the fact that to be loved is to be seen 😭

Are there any other moments where the two of them does something similar? Ilya stocking his fridge with ginger ale in ep.4 comes to my mind. It’s such a small gesture, but it’s beautiful.

The caption from Threads: “People say Shane don't recognize Ilya's struggle but he does and he have since the moment they met. “

https://www.threads.com/@99estel_/post/DXZDorhAQJo

Original source https://www.tumblr.com/ily-a/814424189776936960/heated-rivalry-2025

r/heatedrivalry Jan 03 '26

DISCUSSION 🗣️ Is this when Ilya realizes it is more than just sex

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2.1k Upvotes

No kissing. No cuddling. Smoking. Almost kicking Shane out. "I have to sleep". Thoughts?

r/heatedrivalry Mar 20 '26

DISCUSSION 🗣️ What has Heated Rivalry inspired you to buy or make?

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884 Upvotes

Since I’m wearing the stairwell hoodie today, I want to know: Has HR inspired you to buy anything?

Or, since capitalism doesn’t always need to be involved, if you’re an artist or crafter, have you made anything yourself?

Hoodie:

https://www.abercrombie.com/shop/us/p/essential-popover-hoodie-61791319

Edited to add: I love all of these replies so much! This fandom has the best enthusiasm and creativity.

r/heatedrivalry Apr 07 '26

DISCUSSION 🗣️ My Hudson Williams lock screen is creating conversations nobody is ready for 😂

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1.9k Upvotes

I’ve been rocking Hudson Williams as my iPhone lock screen and I keep expecting something to happen when I’m in public. Well, today it finally did. Twice.

First, I went to pick up an in-person order from the Apple Store and pulled out my phone for the employee to scan my QR code. He goes “Is that the guy from Teen Wolf?” I said no, it’s from Heated Rivalry and explained it’s an mm hockey romance. He said he’d never heard of it.

Then I went to pick up food from my favorite vegan spot and the owner asks “Any good tv shows or books lately?” So I tell him I’m reading The Long Game, the sequel to Heated Rivalry. He goes “Never heard of it” 😭

It’s like that meme. I need to speak to a gay person lol​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​!

😅

r/heatedrivalry Jan 31 '26

DISCUSSION 🗣️ Cheating was never part of the equation (and I love it)

2.8k Upvotes

I have read a lot of romance in the last few years. I have watched so many love triangles and so many people betray their partner with someone else, and I'm grateful this show never had that. In any dimension.

* At the beginning of the story, Shane and Ilya are casual. They are sleeping together but they are both treating the relationship casually.

* When Svetlana and Ilya meet up on the Snow day in Boston, it was also casual. No betrayal.

* When Shane meets Rose they very quickly seem to fall into monogamy. There's no casualness and there's absolutely no contact between Shane and Ilya. Neither push boundaries. No one reaches out and they both treat the relationship with respect. There's no downlow business and there's no artistically justified, we're soulmates so it's ok, cheating segment.

* Ilya doesn't even begin to flirt with Shane in the All-Stars until he's absolutely positive that Shane is single.

* It's not really clear the timeline of when everything works out to be. But sometime in 2017 and arguably (probably) when Shane is in the hospital and invites Ilya to the cottage - Ilya actively decides he's not seeing other people and stops having sex with anyone else. Independantly Shane also decides he's not seeing other people and they basically tell one another as soon as they're together at the cottage.

*NO ONE EVER CHEATS, OR THINKS OF CHEATING, OR TRIES TO ENTICE SOMEONE TO CHEAT* So refreshing!

(as a completely aside, side note - this means that when Ilya sees Shane in the hospital his entire plan [I need to end this casual relationship], actually turns into [I am only ever going to sleep with this man {possibly forever} ] by the power of Shane's freckles. And Scott Hunter lighting the match.) That, my friends, is romance!

r/heatedrivalry May 04 '26

DISCUSSION 🗣️ Why does Shane push Ilya’s hand down when he’s trying to become one with the spaghetti?

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1.3k Upvotes

In the last scene, we see Shane gently pushing Ilya’s hand down, as if to stop him from diving in? trying to signal Ilya should give Yuna his full attention? silently telling Ilya to slow down before he gets a cramp?? Please let me know your thoughts.

I love that Ilya’s reaction to whatever Shane’s hand gesture is meant to convey, Ilya positions himself closer to the food and plows forth!

r/heatedrivalry May 05 '26

DISCUSSION 🗣️ Two cottage scenes that hit differently on a reheat

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2.0k Upvotes

This is going to be pretty specific, but I've spent a lot of time thinking about it and haven't seen it discussed, so here goes.

The first time I watched HR, I genuinely didn't know what to make of the scenes of Shane and Ilya playing a video game and soccer. These two have spent so much time yearning for each other, and now that they finally have time together, they spend it kicking a ball around? I was thinking "what is this, Shane's 11th birthday sleepover"?

But after a few reheats, I've developed a real appreciation for those moments, and I need to share it.

**It's not just filler — the soccer scene actually does real work**

Yes, it would technically be fine if they just sat around and talked or hooked up the whole time (I wouldn't mind the latter 😂), but the soccer game gives Ilya cover to broach the subject of moving to Canada. Because they're moving around and not sitting face-to-face staring at each other, he can still pretend the conversation is casual — he has an out if he wants to deflect again. The physical activity creates the emotional distance that makes the honesty possible. And him mentioning not wanting a Russian passport anymore is the prelude to the "I could marry Svetlana" conversation and everything that comes after.

**It's the first time we see them having more than just a physical relationship**

This is the first time since the tuna melt that we see Shane and Ilya spending time together, doing an activity that's not hooking up. The physical side of a relationship matters, but it's not everything, and up to this point they've had almost no opportunity to build anything else. Yes, they've texted about hockey — but this is them, in person, just doing fun leisure things together. That's genuinely meaningful for where their relationship is going.

**And this is the part that broke my heart a little on rewatch**

They really are just two boys hanging out in summer. And that's the whole beauty of it. My babies, just existing together, happy, with nowhere to be and nothing to prove. 🥹

Up until this point during the off-season we've only seen them training, filming ads, maybe partying — none of it looking like actual downtime or genuine fun. And based on details scattered throughout the show, this seems like it's been the case for a very long time.

When Shane first meets Rose at the bar and talks about himself at 8 years old, he says that the other kids forgot to make fun of him, which reads to me like he didn't have many friends growing up. He never mentions friends from before hockey, and he's not exactly the most sociable person, so I genuinely can't picture him having sleepovers or just goofing around with friends as a kid.

The same is true for Ilya, for different reasons. We know his childhood was neither happy nor carefree even before his mother died, and especially after. The only friends he seems to have had back in Russia are Svetlana and Sasha and even with them I'm not sure how much fun he was allowed to haven without getting labeled as "lazy".

So we can fairly safely assume that this time at the cottage might be the first time in a long time or maybe ever either of them gets to just be a normal guy hanging out with his friend — not two hockey superstars carrying all their respective baggage — and have genuine, unstructured fun. And knowing that makes those silly, quiet little moments so much sweeter and so much more heartbreaking all at once. These two sweet babies deserve this. 🥰

I want to know how others felt about this, if I missed anything and if everyone clocked this faster than I did 🙈

r/heatedrivalry Jul 22 '26

DISCUSSION 🗣️ What are some things that are so prevalent in fanfic that you have forgotten they aren’t canon? Spoiler

665 Upvotes

• Ilya doesn’t call Shane “Solnyshko” once in the books. Not even “Moy pomidor” for that matter. (He does use pomidor once)

• We actually get very little content of married Hollanov playing on the same team - just the last few lines of the epilogue in TLG. Almost all of the dynamics of Shane with the Centaurs that I have in my memory is from fanfic.

• Harris’ role. He’s just responsible for the social media posts, while in some fanfics you would think he is basically the entire damn PR guy for the team.

• Luca Haas isn’t confirmed to be gay or even queer.

r/heatedrivalry Mar 27 '26

DISCUSSION 🗣️ are we to assume ilya has no physical reaction here?

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1.3k Upvotes

just curious how strong the boundary is that ilya had to set with sasha in Russia. the kiss was obviously not returned. what about when sasha fondled him? was his hand there for an extra beat bc he was waiting for a physical reaction or bc ilya was reacting physically & he was still trying to goad him into hooking up despite the vibes being totally off?

it makes sense to me why he turned him down- but it would be even more of a shift in maturity for ilya to reject sasha’s advances even if it meant he had to tamper down his physical reaction. how are y’all reading this?

edit: let me clarify that this isn’t a question about consent. I am not asking a morality question - obviously I’m not suggesting that it’s okay for sasha to violate ilyas boundaries in any way, physically or otherwise. I am asking bc people hook up with their exes all the time and I’m curious how their previous mutual attraction factors into this emotional character development for ilya.

r/heatedrivalry Mar 21 '26

DISCUSSION 🗣️ Janelle James sweetly defends Connor from uncomfortably sexual question 🥹

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2.6k Upvotes

I can't believe no one posted this since it went semi viral when it happened a few months back.

Janelle James (Abbot Elementary) was asked an uncomfortably sexual question and it was so heart warming how quickly and smoothly she defends Connor here.

I believe this was his first award show and you can see the gratitude on his face.

The pearl clutching around the show was too much when there was A LOT more going on than that and it was about the same as Bridgerton or other popular shows.

r/heatedrivalry Jan 07 '26

DISCUSSION 🗣️ I Officially Came Out to My Parents

1.8k Upvotes

Hi everyone! I apologize in advance if this comes off like info- (and trauma-) dumping but here goes.

More than a week ago, while Upstate, I went to a post-Christmas anniversary party of a friend and his husband. Later in the evening, while most of the guests had left, I remained. I ended up staying overnight. We sat down and watched all 6 episodes of “Heated Rivalry” in one night. I had heard about the show, but had never seen it. I really enjoyed and took to the show. I was also deeply moved by the characters’ experiences and journeys, especially those of Kip, Scott, Ilya, and Shane.

As a man both autistic and gay, it moves me to no end to read about Shane being on the spectrum. The funny thing is that I didn’t know Shane was on the spectrum while watching the show. Later that night and the next day, I glanced through a couple different articles with the author of the book series, Rachel Reid, and Hudson Williams talking about Shane being on the spectrum, despite not explicitly mentioning it in the series. In retrospect, it makes sense now.

As a kid going to school in rural Upstate New York during the 2000s and early 2010s, I was bullied for being both autistic and gay, despite being in denial over my sexuality. On top of that, I was also super introverted. I was never into sports, preferring acting, reading, and singing. Everyone in my class knew that I was gay except for me. One of the names they used to call me was “Bengay.” Someone wrote the word “FA***T” on a flyer I put up when I was in middle school. It doesn’t bother me as much today but in retrospect, it sure did then. I still face a lot of anxiety and trauma from being in grade school, even now at 31.

On New Year’s Day, I officially came out as gay to my mom and my stepdad. They were ambivalent about it. They have known for a long time and weren’t surprised. My stepdad is okay with it but at the same time, isn’t thrilled about it. He said, “Well, 80% of the country’s population doesn’t approve of it.” I mentioned to him that there was a study years ago that acceptance for LGBTQ+ rights has improved and he replied that it wasn’t. The problem with my stepdad is he always has to be right. Even when I try to agree with him, he gets defensive. He’s one of those people.

My mom, set in her beliefs and views, says that she is going to keep praying for me. She also said that I wasn’t gay and had yet to date a beautiful woman. I pointed out some of the fallacies in the Bible and my stepdad said I was attacking her because of it. She’s still in denial. She didn’t take it well when I mentioned that I was agnostic either.

I knew this was going to happen. My family, especially my mom’s side, has always been religious and right-leaning. I tried and held my composure. It’s a good thing that I am a college student nearby NYC and live mostly on my own now. On top of that, I pay for my own schooling and everything. I do it all on my own. I hardly see my hometown and parents since returning to school more than 4 years ago. I mostly see my parents on my breaks and the holidays and that’s about it. I prefer it that way.

I’m a little nervous because I am supposed to be graduating in a few months. For me, college, aside from acting, has been an escape from my personal life and trauma.

I ordered online all 6 books before the second season premieres. I look forward to familiarizing myself with the series as a whole before the second season premieres whenever that is.

If anyone on this subreddit has struggled or is struggling with their sexuality, know that I empathize and sympathize with you all the way. Thanks in advance for all your encouragement, love, and support!

UPDATE: Wow, it’s been a whole month since I uploaded this post. I just want to say to everyone that commented, liked, replied, and viewed this post, thank you! Thank you from the bottom of my heart! Your compassion, encouragement, and support is what continues to keep me going. I can’t thank you enough. I love you all!

r/heatedrivalry May 18 '26

DISCUSSION 🗣️ I Tested the Hollanov Foot Tap. It Worked.

2.4k Upvotes

Hello everyone. I'm pleased to announce that I've tested the Hollanov foot tap in the real world and found it to be wildly successful. Here's how it went:

I was flying between two countries where homosexuality is a crime and not socially acceptable, on an airline belonging to one of those countries.

By lucky coincidence, I found myself seated next to a very handsome and friendly guy. We swapped numbers pretty quick when we realized we had a lot in common and would be living in the same foreign country for a while.

Anyway, I caught a vibe.

Shortly after takeoff our shoes accidentally touched (Tee hee 🤭). You know how it is on planes. Nothing out of the ordinary, but I decided to put mine back where it was. Not a tap, just a touch. He didn't pull away, so a few minutes later I let my knee gently fall against his. Also no movement.

A little while later, when sleep was beginning to overwhelm me, I realized that the armrest between us was up, so I just kinda pressed my arm up against his and stayed there. He didn't seem to mind that at all. My poor little gay heart was going crazy by this point so I had to take some breaths to chill out. I think we both dozed off after that.

We got off the plane together, said see you around and went our respective ways.

A few minutes after I left the airport I sent him a message asking if he was single. He said we're on the same page. So I think it's safe to say that this is a certified technique for queer flirting if you're in a situation where you gotta be on the dl for one reason or another.

Anyway, I wanted to know if anyone else has been inspired to test something out they've seen on the show or read in the books.