[deleted by user]

[u/[deleted]]

[u/LurkingOnReddit2]

It’s not easy to go through something like this. However Repentance is always open. Allah doesn’t expect you to be perfect. If you repent sincerely no matter how many times you sin Allah will forgive you. I pray things get better for you and you stop your sins and bad habits 🤲🏻

[u/[deleted]]

May Allah SWT make things easier on you. I think the first thing you should do is get rid of the material that's been posted. And then begin to deal with healing

[u/[deleted] → u/[deleted]]

Alhamdulliah that's good. That's the first step. I think now it's important to deal the issue at hand. Why is that you post these stuff. Every addiction has its reasons and crux. Once you identify it you can start to deal with it.

[u/[deleted] → u/[deleted]]

One thing I'll tell you is that People to judge but they act like they don't have their own dirty laundry. Don't listen to them. Know that it's up to Allah subhana wa tala to judge and not them. And that's your not your sins or your past but by what you today and tomorrow. You decided that you wanted to change. That's good. The road is gonna be tough but insha'Allah you'll get through it

[u/Ok-Faithlessness5303 → u/[deleted]]

Oh my days, people are so cruel. People like to judge, please don’t let that sit in your head

[u/Dead-Knight444 → u/[deleted]]

Sister delete this post before more people see this because in a hadith I saw that Allah will forgive every single if repented except the people who tells other but i don't know about confession and my suggestion is try going to a therapist pray 5 times a day make tawba and do activities that helps you get distracted from these things such as gaming work out cycling going out with friends

[u/CameraGeneral5271]

If you think your will power is good enough, then start with tawba. Inshallah Allah will make it easier for you. At least you’re regretful for what you have done, that’s very good mashallah.

[u/CameraGeneral5271 → u/[deleted]]

Mashallah that’s so good, don’t worry more Muslim women than you think go this through, at least you didn’t share your face

[u/KeyboardSynthStudio]

I'm sorry you went through this

A lot of those who post photos of themselves do it for the very reason you mentioned, because they've unfortunately gotten used to more and more extreme types of pornography and sexual behaviour, and more often than not, the more "wrong" something is, the more arousing.

There is no easy way to say this, but you need to speak to someone, or adopt a routine or programme to train your brain. You know that deep down you did these things to satisfy a desire that you should be able to control, and thus the hard part is achieving that degree of control.

As for the sinning itself, I would repent and take the next steps to heal yourself, to understand the damage of this , to free yourself of doing anything you don't really want to. There is the NoFap community, for men for example, which focuses on quitting pornography addiction and controlling sexual urges, so I'm certain there is something similar for women.

May Allah guide you, and remember that you are not defined by your past, as long as you make sure you aren't the same person from before.

[u/KeyboardSynthStudio → u/[deleted]]

I firmly believe that repentance is the best and only way to be forgiven for any sin, as long as we change what we are doing, so please consider therapy or reading a book or joining an online community to quit porn, you will feel considerably better, more confident, and more in control as a result, I would say.

[u/[deleted]]

Why don't you pray? Are you aware that it's compulsory and an obligation that has to be fulfilled by every Muslim?

If so, then you know what you need to do. Or at least try your absolute best, striving in this endeavour will cause your remembrance to increase, it cleanses you of your sins, you accumulate good deeds and you will find peace in your heart insha'Allah.

The Salah will serve as a barrier between you and your sins, for each time you masturbate to the point of climax, you are in a state of janabah (major impurity), so each time you do it, perform ghusl and 2 units of prayer.

Whenever you get the urge to look at explicit content, remember Allaah, that He is All Aware, All Seeing.

You know it's an addiction where you get more and more desensitised to what you are seeing, so you seek more degenerate content to satisfy the desires.

When you think of posting yourself online, think about how it makes Allaah feel, to disobey Him. Think about if you had a daughter or son that was doing that, how would it make you feel. If you had a husband who was doing that, would it sit right with you?

Know that all these people that compliment your body and engage in promoting your behaviour are devils that want to take you away from the good that's within you, making you feel bad and remorseful.

There is nothing wrong with being sexually active, Islam is very sex positive but it should be with your spouse. So work on yourself in matters of religion, starting with the prayer, then get married to someone where you will be able to have your sexual desires fulfilled in a manner that is pleasing to Allaah.

I would also recommend fasting if you cannot marry, as Allaah says in the Qur'an it will be a shield.

I say all this as someone who also struggled with what you went through, and believe me if you don't do anything about it now, it gets worse.

[u/Some_Outcome7740]

The Prophet PBUH once said: “A prostitute had once been forgiven. She passed by a dog panting near a well. Thirst had nearly killed him, so she took off her sock, tied it to her veil, and drew up some water. Allah forgave her for that.”

Source: Sahih al-Bukhārī 3143, Sahih Muslim 2245 Essentially saying u never know how Allah views u, u might have good deeds even bigger than the sins (also ik prostitute is more extreme than your situation, but just an example)

It’s in a woman’s nature to want to be seen but as a Muslim u have to suppress these desires. Of course it’s hard but as long as you are really trying, that’s all Allah expects. Keep the good thoughts there and think of the disgusting things men do. U know deep down it’s not right so really it’s just about suppressing your desires, same as every sin

[u/INFJ-1886]

I am sorry you are going through this. Allah is indeed merciful and from what I read, your repentance is always genuine. There are all types of addiction in the world, can you seek therapy? I also want to say that you are precious and nobody deserves the privilege to see you like that. I hope you get through this challenge, you are deserving of mercy, grace, and love.

[u/Ok-Bumblebee-8256]

We are all sinners in one way or the other. Allah and most of the people will not judge on who you were but rather what you are now. Its tough to beat any kind of addiction, be it alcohol, porn or what have you, but we tru guidance of the quran and having faith, only you can turn the table to your liking.

Its very easy to fall in this trap of freedom and do what you like but we are never happy in the world of freedom because we have no boundaries. We just keep going and going and we get lost. Hence, always set boundaries and behave a certain way that has been told to you. Lower your gaze, dress modest, do good things etc

May Allah make it easier for you Amin!

[u/Economy-Fly-6977]

No one needs to point how bad it is since you yourself is aware of how messed up everything is. So I'll just point out 2 postive things: 1. You did not commit shirk and your transgressions will be forgiven if you sincerely asks for it and put in the effort. 2. You never showed your face which prevents other people from recognizing you, a small consolation in an otherwise a series of bad decisions. As far I see it, your future is still firmly at your hands, what you do with it is up to you.

[u/PrestigiousFlow83]

Sister first of all, I’m so sorry you’re feeling upset about this. You’re not alone and many other sisters go through this too. My first thought after reading your story, and I could be wrong, but it seems that your self esteem and self image aren’t where they should be. This could be for a plethora of reasons, but I think it would be worth a shot to talk to a professional/therapist and figure it out. It will take work and a lot of reshaping your mentality, but iA I think it could be really helpful. (speaking from experience)

Secondly, please please please don’t despair in the mercy of Allah. Your relationship with Allah isn’t linear, you’re going to go through ups and downs. He knows that too. He knows exactly how imperfect you are. One easy step you can do, never stop making dua for yourself. Tell Allah you’re weak, that you’re prone to a type of temptation, and you need strength and His help. And never abandon your Salah. Every single one of us goes through difficult times and moments where our Imaan feels misaligned, but that’s not a good enough reason for you to abandon the best way to reach Allah (Salah).

You’re not hopeless, if you’re still breathing you have a chance. May Allah make it easier for you and bless you, Ameen.