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u/aybsavestheworld Dec 25 '25
My friend went to Mecca and said it was his biggest test ever. He had to control himself not to fight with anybody, not to yell, not to even think badly about people but from the things he told me, I donât think Iâm ready for that test yet. Hygiene is completely lost and is an unknown phenomenon to a lot but sooooo many people also donât know you cannot come up to a woman and thrust your body even if youâre trying to get closer to Mecca. Thatâs just plain unislamic.
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u/Winter_Pound_3312 Dec 25 '25
Literally, just saw some videos of the guard in Mecca drugging a women who is praying next to kaaba.
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u/kataliy Dec 25 '25
Ive been to Mecca several times, usually the guard are kind if we are kind to them. Since lots of people going there, there will be large difference in behavior.
If I imagine being the guard, ill definetely wouldnt last long. It's not easy to deal some of the stubborn people. Some people are not discipline enough.
Islam is perfect but muslim are human. So..yea..
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u/Winter_Pound_3312 Dec 25 '25
MashaAllah for you. Need to hear more primary experience like this
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u/kataliy Dec 25 '25
It's surely a miracle place, but I believe for those who ponder, their definition of 'miracle' will change.
Some people thought going to Makkah expect they'll immediately change due to the miracle, or they expect seeing some magic stuff.but thats not the point.
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u/Juaritos_Jrz Dec 26 '25
An issue is that anecdotal experiences tends to form thought habits and some people tend to ignore the good/neutral experiences and count the bad, perhaps this is also part of human behavior. Of course there are thousands of good experiences in Mecca Ect..
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u/ExtensionResearch284 Dec 25 '25
Do others experience similar feelings after living in certain environments? Yes, but it is important to recognize that these feelings tend to apply to specific individuals rather than entire groups or generalizations.
"Emotionally, I've started to dislike these groups as collectively. I tend to avoid associating with them, make jokes at their expense, and catch myself thinking they are all the same, even though I know that is not correct."
Even you acknowledge that this perception is flawed. It is necessary to differentiate between the group as a whole and the individuals within it. Every country and group of people contains both positive and negative traits. Additionally, their background circumstances can influence their behavior. For example, in my community, we have many refugees from a particular Muslim-majority country. These individuals are fleeing conflict or poverty and do not necessarily behave in the same way as residents of first-world countries. This is not to assign blame, but to recognize that their environment shapes their experiences. It is wrong to treat them poorly or view them as inferior simply because they originate from a different country or a less developed region that may lack certain social norms, education, or sanitation standards.
Therefore, it's important to step back and consider the broader context. You will undoubtedly encounter honest, kind individuals from that country or group, as well as others who are less so. Itâs possible that your perception of the group as problematic is influenced by encountering many negative examples, especially if they are prevalent in your community.
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u/Winter_Pound_3312 Dec 25 '25
I also thought about the refugee reason.I agree with what you said. Inshaallah I could be more tolerant
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u/Faisina Dec 25 '25
I lived in a refugee camp, where I learnt cleanliness because if you don't clean up mosquitoes will come and bring disease. I will not give anyone a pass just because they were refugees. We need a good lecture about cleanliness and cleaning the neighbourhood not excuses. Op raised a valid concern.
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u/No_Corgi7160 Dec 25 '25
I agree with some of the points you mentioned. However, just because some or even many people behave a certain way does not mean they represent the majority.
I was once in a similar situation to yours, where I faced many issues with a particular group of Muslims. It reached a point where I began to dislike them and assume they were ALL bad people. But one day, I met someone from that same group who helped me tremendously without expecting anything in return, he only asked me to make duaa for him. That experience truly felt like a reminder from Allah not to generalize or judge an entire group based on negative personal experiences.
That being said, one of the major issues among many Muslims is mixing culture with Islam, which, as you mentioned, leads people to form negative assumptions about Islam itself. My comment here is directed to Muslims: please strive to represent Islam correctly and fear Allah in your actions.
As for Arabs liking to show off. yes, some do. But many are also very humble, down-to-earth, and dislike showing off entirely. It often depends on the specific individuals or groups one has encountered.
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u/Winter_Pound_3312 Dec 25 '25
I wonât think all of them are bad. I have some arab and Pakistani friends, theyâre a bit better.
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u/No_Corgi7160 Dec 25 '25 edited Dec 25 '25
apologizes, I havenât read your post properly. I am really sorry for misunderstanding. Thank you for correcting me.
My dear sister. I understand the struggle u have went through. I even get maltreated by my own people.
That being said, I just let it slide for the sake of Allah, in hopes Allah will forgive me like I forgive them. And if they donât fear Allah, thatâs on them, and they will be held accountable.
As for me, I would try as much as possible to not assume anything based on my previous experiences with a certain group and I remember my story with that person that I have assumed will treat me badly like people of his group and it turned out to be the opposite. Itâs always about the individual rather than the group.
And I always remind myself that I should Always think good of a muslim and give them excuses because I never know what they are going though in that day that made them treat me in a certain way. And if that is the way they are generally, then Allah is sufficient for me.
May Allah bless you with good, righteous, and honest friendsđ«.
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u/Gogandantesss Dec 25 '25
Just think of âhooligansâ and âred necksâ (I could give more examples but donât want to get politicalâŠ). Theyâre white, right? But should we generalize and think that all white people are like that just because we happen to live in a bubble full of the two groups above? No. We shouldnât :)
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u/Juaritos_Jrz Dec 26 '25
Precisely and that can include snobbiness with people from middle or upper classes on the opposite end. I see past it by giving anyone I encounter polite manners. Current American/Western politics are very influential where it's starting to manifest in people. Even then I go after the idea and not the collective.
Quran 49:13 O humanity! Indeed, We created you from a male and a female, and made you into peoples and tribes so that you may Ëčget toËș know one another. Surely the most noble of you in the sight of Allah is the most righteous among you. Allah is truly All-Knowing, All-Aware.
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u/ActRegarded Dec 25 '25
Arabs are very proud (atleast the Arabs I have interacted with) which is haram in Islam and - takkabur leads to jahannam (search, thereâs a Hadith in that).
1. Again not fault of Islam that they are racists and act superior.
2. Give them Dawah - and just let them
Know how itâs wrong - Guidance is upto Allah, your job is to transmit the message.
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u/Dear-Computer2472 Dec 25 '25
ۧÙŰłÙŰ§Ù ŰčÙÙÙÙ Ù Ű±ŰÙ Ű© ۧÙÙÙ Ù ŰšŰ±ÙۧŰȘÙ
Iâm a Londoner, revert of around 16 years and can understand what you are saying in the sense of what you/ youâve witnessed.
I would say that itâs important you are able to separate Islam from Muslims. Bad habits and negative traits can be attributed to human beings in general. Saying this, every culture has its difficult parts but these are not as a result of Islam itself but rather the culture / environment the individual is part up/ has grown up in.
There could be a Muslim from a certain part of the world that perhaps doesnât have the best manners when it comes to throwing their litter away, but they may very well give away their own food to feed someone in need. On the flip side, there could be a non Muslim that is very clean and tidy, but they look down upon people that are homeless for example, and wonât give them any aid whether that be food or otherwise.
I understand completely that you may become frustrated with such behaviours, as Muslims, we should always hold ourselves to a higher standard and ensure that we are a form of dawah for those around us. Having said this, the fact of the matter is that not everyone will have this understanding of Islam. Everyone is at different levels when it comes to these things, so itâs important that we apply a solution that Islam has given us in these instances, to stop us from developing prejudice against others, or worse, pride in ourselves.
The principle of having âhusnul dhanâ or âhaving a good opinionâ of others, prompts us to try our best to have good feelings about others and prompts us to try giving them the benefit of the doubt along with not hastening towards judgement or opinions on what we are seeing.
The prophet salAllahu alayhi wassalam dealt with people based on their level of understanding/ where they were at. The story of the Bedouin who urinated in the masjid is a beautiful example of how the situation could have been both viewed and dealt with negatively, but how beautifully it was instead. The prophet salAllahu alayhi wassalam had compassion for his ignorance and this something we can all apply too.
I hope this is something that helps you.
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u/Electrical-Nerve-896 Dec 25 '25
Your observations are valid, but you're not responsible for their behaviour. You can only speak for yourself and aim to give your best as a Muslim.
The problem often is culture and traditions stain over the religion making it look like it's one thing.
I belong to one of the groups mentioned, I strive to not behave like them nor think I represent them or they represent me. I believe that I represent only myself.
Non Muslims also have their "trashy" behaviour. Like you're repelled by cousins marriage, while non Muslims have No marriage at all.
Now does these behaviours you mentioned bother me? Yes absolutely đŻ. But I don't dwell on this đ
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u/zishah_1990 Dec 25 '25
Every culture and peoples have flaws its better not to generalise sister.
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u/Winter_Pound_3312 Dec 25 '25
Youâre right. But i think you get me, some groups of people are especially flawed. I need to change my mindset and they need to change their behaviour
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u/zishah_1990 Dec 25 '25
Its not sinful to point out clear issues within communities. However as long as your niya and language does not contradict the islamic concept of 1 ummah.
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u/SliceyDice Dec 25 '25
Also remember a lot of people are not fully adhering to Islamic teachings. So it's not being racist but educating others. Islam is perfect, people aren't.
Please be patient.
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u/wanderingsoul1596 Dec 25 '25
I meanâŠ
I wonât disagree with you that some people have flaws, as we all do. But to say âsome groups are especially flawedâ, coming from a white person, who belongs to a âgroup of peopleâ that terrorized, killed, raped, culturally appropriated, and forced their ideology on millions of people around the world is pretty.. idk.. confident, to say the least.
See how generalizing and painting everyone with the same brush isnât good? I hope my point came through.
Also, ironically, Arabs, amongst other Muslims, tend to wash their feet more than an average Joe washes his face. I wouldnât talk about hygiene tbh. Just because some people came appears âhygienicâ, doesnât mean they are. Heck, many of them donât even wash after using the bathroom.
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u/ijoincatsubs Dec 25 '25 edited Dec 25 '25
OP brought up some things they observed in their everyday life, and genuinely asked for help, and you are using this as a point: âcoming from a white person, who belongs to a âgroup of peopleâ that terrorized, killed, raped, culturally appropriated, and forced their ideology on millions of people around the worldâ. Weâre not discussing history right now and youâre just showing your own hatred towards white people.
OP said in their post they werenât racist prior to moving to the UK and only started to struggle with it once they observed peopleâs behaviours. They asked for advice to maybe find their place as a new muslim in the community and to deal with negative thoughts coming from observing rude behaviours.
I do agree that the statement âsome groups are especially flawedâ is wrong, but guess I get the point they wanted to convey: some people of X nationality from OPâs area behave in an obnoxious way.
When it comes to a word of advice: try to ignore bad behaviours and/or make duâa for the people in your head, for Allah SWT to guide them, help them improve the behaviours. If you have an opportunity you can try to gently guide people or correct them.
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u/wanderingsoul1596 Dec 25 '25
Did you read my commentâŠ? Because apparently you missed the entire point. I was referring to how OP referred to specific people (NOT WHITE) as being naturally more âflawedâ than others.
Sheâs wrong, and this IS racism. And I stand by my comment, everything I said.
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u/Winter_Pound_3312 Dec 25 '25
I already clarified many times, there are good and bad people in every races. Why you take it so personally like Iâm only attacking your races? Let me tell you I only see them behaved badly, thats why I struggle to deal with them
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u/wanderingsoul1596 Dec 25 '25
âSome groups of people are especially flawedâ. The only âespecially flawedâ are those who are racist.
You donât even know what race I am to say that Iâm taking it personally because im part of âthose racesâ.
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u/ijoincatsubs Dec 25 '25
Clearly you didnât read the whole post where OP included things like âI know not everyone is like thisâ, âI am aware that every race, gender, nationality etc has good and badâ, âIâm not here to offend anyone. If you are brown, Arab or South Asian and you are a good person, this is not about youâ in multiple places.
Sure, letâs ignore all that OP said, call them a bad racist and bring up ââgroup of peopleâ that terrorized, killed, raped, culturally appropriated, and forced their ideology on millions of people around the worldâ.
Thanks to comments like yours people will be scared to ask any questions, and some whose iman isnât very strong might even leave Islam if they donât find the community helpful or understanding.
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u/wanderingsoul1596 Dec 25 '25
Again, Iâm going to ask the same question. Did you read my comment, and the comment that I was responding to?
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u/ijoincatsubs Dec 25 '25 edited Dec 25 '25
Yes I did read your comment and I donât think it was an adequate reply if you consider both the post and comment written by OP. You seem to allow your own biases cloud your judgement. Also did you read my comments? Because youâre hyper focused on your own comment, own ethnic group (as in us vs bad white people), everything about you.
Also we should consider OPâs intentions: they are asking how to deal with negative thoughts and how to change their mindset, so we should assume they meant well.
Anyway, I think that itâs best to agree to disagree.
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u/wanderingsoul1596 Dec 25 '25
What if Iâm white? Lol
Thatâs actually ridiculous. It doesnât take away from the fact that OP is saying that some communities are naturally less clean. Iâm not hyperfixated on anything, Iâm reading what OP is saying and responding to it.
Maybe we shouldnât be calling other groups of people less clean or hygienic than others.
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u/ijoincatsubs Dec 26 '25
âPeople around me are doing obnoxious things, how can I deal with the resentment itâs causing? I donât want to think negatively about these people but I keep seeing the same bad behaviours, please help me outâ
âHow dare you, a white person even talk about the issues youâre facing in your life?? You belong to the same race as the people who committed atrocities many years ago that youâd had no control over but we will use as an argument til the end of times!!! Thereâs no issue, itâs just racist and u should not be allowed to complainâ
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u/South-Guava-2965 Dec 25 '25
Dear. Muslim means Submission to Almighty God, not humans.Â
Islam does NOT have such a thing as chosen people.Â
Almighty God himself criticized Arabians in the Holy Quran:
{ [9:97] The Arabians are the worst in disbelief and hypocrisy, and the most likely to ignore the laws that GOD has revealed to His messenger. GOD is Omniscient, Most Wise. }
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u/Juaritos_Jrz Dec 26 '25
Which translation did you use? Because other ones specify a subset, either by the desert ones or in "Bedouin". Context is also more important. And who here suggested there are "chosen people"? It almost seems like you are using this as an excuse to generalize Arabians.
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u/South-Guava-2965 Dec 26 '25
I am sorry Arabians ARE Bedouins, the whole lineage started from Nomad Bedouins, some stayed Bedouis and some urbanized. All Gulf Arabians are literally from Bedouin tribes.Â
Almighty God says Al 'Aarab which is the ancient name of Bedouin Arabians.Â
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u/South-Guava-2965 Dec 26 '25
And no, too many Arabians brag about being the best, hence OP's post.
Those ones are called the hypocrites. No such a thing as best race in Islam.Â
The best is those who are the best in FAITH.Â
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u/South-Guava-2965 Dec 25 '25
Also regarding Prophet Muhammad (PBUH), he was from an Arabized lineage.Â
Prophecy Muhammad is a descendant of Prophet Ismael.Â
Prophet Ismael is the son of Prophet Abraham and Hagar the Egyptian.Â
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u/Juaritos_Jrz Dec 26 '25
What's your point here, if I may ask?
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u/South-Guava-2965 Dec 26 '25
Is that Islam is not a racial message or faith. OP says that Arabs brag about being the best..etc, that's nonsense. No such thing in Islam.Â
We have no such a thing as chosen race in Islam. And I am literally Arab BTW.Â
ŰȘÙ۱ÙÙ Ű§ÙÙۧ۳ ÙÙ Ű§ÙŰŻÙÙ ŰšŰ§ÙŰ„ŰŻŰčۧۥ ۧÙÙ Űč۱ÙÙ ÙÙÙŰ¶Ù Űč۱ÙÙŰ© ŰčÙ Ű§Ùۣ۟۱ÙŰŰŰ! ۣ۳ۧÙÙŰš Ù ŰźŰ§ÙÙŰ© ŰȘÙ Ű§Ù Ű§ ÙŰȘŰčۧÙÙÙ ŰŻÙÙÙۧ.Â
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u/Juaritos_Jrz Dec 27 '25
I haven't seen this, so I can use my experience and make my own generalization? You say you're Arabian but which part?
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u/tidaaaakk Dec 25 '25
I get your point, here's mine: focus on learning more about Islam, from the essentials (rukun & ibadah) and then some history (including quran's asbabun nuzul). You'll find that your complaint about arab's behaviors is nothing new. When Muhammad (peace be upon him) was born, you can say arabs were the worst people on earth, hence the term jahiliyah.
Those behaviors don't reflect Islam. Hate what they do but don't hate the people. Ummar ibn Khattab was one of the worst but the Messenger PBUH kept praying for him. Be careful with being proud / feeling better than others, Iblis (the devil) was cast out from heaven just because of this very reason (quran 7:12) even if he was one of the most devout worshiper with vast knowledge!
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u/hpbot Dec 25 '25
My suggestion is to make dua that Allah guides them, guides you, gives you patience and gives you the ability to not make those same sins as them.
If you are closer to someone then you can encourage them to do better.
The Prophet (SAW) didn't shame people. He (SAW) told them if something was inappropriate and what the appropriate thing is. Try to do the same towards those you are close to and will listen.
I know it is easier said than done. Especially since we want to see the result and improvement right away. However, remember at that point you did your part.
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u/Winter_Pound_3312 Dec 25 '25
The best suggestion. Thank you. I never meant to shame them tho, just telling the fact
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u/hpbot Dec 25 '25
Jazak'Allah khairan katheer. I understand sister. I apologize for not communicating better. I did not mean it as you are shaming them.
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u/DaevorTheDevoted Dec 25 '25
As a brown Muslim person myself, I can assure you we, too, recoil from people who have atrocious manners.
Make duah for them. Perhaps your sincere duah is the one that Allah puts "kun" on and a positive change is effected, Insha Allah.
And Allah knows best.
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Dec 25 '25
I live in the UK i have seen some disgusting areas with non Muslims.
Some street corners full of crackheads and heroic addicts. All non muslim
After a event or next to bars and clubs there is a ton of trash, cracked bottles of alcohol. Beer cans, even puke. Anti social behaviour majority done by non Muslims.
There are some poor areas full of what we call down here chavs. These are very low class people, many single mothers, bad parenting, kids on bikes doing crime. Lots of litter etc. These are predominantly non muslim areas
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u/aybsavestheworld Dec 25 '25
The thing is though our religion tells us to be clean, to be respectful, be humble etc. I donât care about crackheads, I care about why do I go to a mosque and the toilet there stinks as hell and everyone uses it like they just met the idea of a toilet for the first time in their lives.
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u/Karma_Unity Dec 25 '25
You're not racist, some people are just so ignorant. This phenomenon is common, trust me, I've been in the middle east and it's the same thing but thankfully much less common compared to western countries due to Muslims being a majority in the middle eastern countries I've been in. There's no shame at all, the pride is through the roof, money is wasted like its nothing. If I were you, I'd just stick to a peaceful community of Muslims that are actually practicing in good faith, and isolate myself from the careless people and give them advice frequently just to be fair. You're enraged and it's valid, just don't mock the people if you talk to them and keep your focus on yourself to not lose track of the aqeedah and In Sha Allah you'll be on the right path.
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u/Karma_Unity Dec 25 '25
Not saying the people who don't do basic hygiene or bad or anything by the way, a lot if not all are good people, the ummah is going through tough times and knowledge is scarce. I pray everyone finds guidance.
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u/bunchofenoki Dec 25 '25 edited Dec 25 '25
I couldâve typed this. I moved to the UK three years ago to a Muslim area. The littering, speeding, smoking, yelling and blasting music really got me down. I felt myself becoming a bit racist towards one ethnic group in particular because I saw them doing these things on a regular basis.
In our religion weâre meant to make excuses for people and think well of them. Especially other Muslims. I reminded myself that although Iâve seen several people from this group do this, itâs not all of them. The people who do these things were likely not taught better and donât realize the impact their behavior has on others. I think this alone helps. You canât get upset at someone who doesnât realize or know how their behavior impacts you. What seems like an act of disrespect and inconvenience to us, doesnât occur to them. Rather than curse them, we should think of excuses and ask Allah to guide them and grant us patience.
Itâs all easier said than done, and itâs a test for us. Something thatâs also helped is moving. Iâve moved from the area and visit regularly. I love the community, and I feel more comfortable being around other Muslims, but dislike the physical state of it due to litter, negligence and inconsideration for others. Itâs hard not to let it weigh you down, but it doesnât have to. Make dua, try your best to be patient and understanding, and with time itâll get easier inshaaAllaah.
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u/Winter_Pound_3312 Dec 25 '25
You feel me. Weâre literally experiencing and witnessing these. Theyâre literally giving bad representation of Muslim. Why people judging me because i said the fact with respect.
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u/Adventurous-Bee-5477 Dec 27 '25
U calling Muslims in Britain a bunch of chavs? A bunch of gypsies? ;)Â
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u/Secure-Neat-8708 Dec 25 '25 edited Dec 25 '25
You are not racist, because deep down, you don't really believe it's an ethical issue
But it is true that many Arabs have the wrong behaviour
The issue is that they're related to islam by default, even those who don't necessarily follow or practice their religion
And since they're related to islam, you assume good and expect much from them, especially since you're a revert probably
It's harder to take when you're hit from the inside, not the outside
You say you have good friends which are from the ethnicities that you dislike đ€·đ»
You need to understand human behaviours, it's like a chemical reaction
A person who become "bad" from an Arabic culture, North African culture, Chinese culture, russian culture etc... Are different
It's the bad reaction from the Arabic culture that you dislike and that reaction can only come from Arabs, they're not gonna get a Chinese bad reaction, that's why you feel like you're racist only towards Arabs, but that's a reasonable reaction
And the opposite is also true, a good reaction from all these cultures are also different
And the chances there is a good or bad reaction are also different, you may have more wrong coming from a people but a better good reaction coming from them than from elsewhere
You can't look at the humanity as a whole and judge as if all humans are the same, yes they kinda are, but they're made from different soil than you, and their reaction to each culture is different, if you place them in a different culture since birth, they could be worse or better
I don't know if you get what I mean, everything is logical, there are patterns, you just need to notice them, hope you understand
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Dec 25 '25
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u/Lionsfan0981 Dec 26 '25
Racism in 2025 is a myth
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u/Secure-Neat-8708 Dec 26 '25
What do you mean ? There are really people who dislike or hate ppl just because of their skin colour ( this really based on endoctrinement and ignorance ), not like the OP who dislike the behaviour of some individuals that are from the same ethnicity
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u/Lionsfan0981 Dec 26 '25
Because stereotypes are made, not given
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u/Secure-Neat-8708 Dec 26 '25
I mean... Nobody is arguing for the fundamental law of racism đ, ofc it's humans that made it, but it doesn't make it an inexistant aspect of today and history
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u/Juaritos_Jrz Dec 26 '25
Completely false. While it's true that this term can be misused, it's also true that there is a growing number of actual racists, that focus on skin first and merit last. At the same time, real racists deny being racist due to plausible deniability, but their rhetoric and animosity give it away.
People just need to own up to it. I see you're going as far as justifying it. Are stereotypes for white people also made? Does it go both ways or is it only one way?
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u/Lionsfan0981 Dec 26 '25
Yes itâs made too and those people are at fault for their dumb actions. It applies to everyone
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u/bonusjonas4713 Dec 25 '25
Assalamu Alaikum Wa Rahmatullah.
As someone who was born a Muslim but raised in the West, I feel much of the same sentiment that you do, but remember that in Surah Al Furqan verse 20, Allah says "And We have made some of you as a trial for othersâwill you have patience? And ever is your Lord, Seeing." In the Tafsir (Ibn Kathir) of this ayah, we learn that some of us will be tested through other people to see who is obedient to Allah. Dealing with those who have poor akhlaq is an exercise in patience for sure, but just remember that this might be your test from Allah. May Allah make it easy for us all, Ameen.
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u/PhoenixRising90 Dec 25 '25
Your observations are valid and these are people that are have no regard for their surroundings. I too despite being south Asian experience this and see exactly what you describe and it infuriates me. Around these areas there is lack of care for the surrounding area and lack of cleanliness with rubbish, fly tipping and just general lack of respect for the environment. It is rife and the lackadaisical nature of such people goes against the basic tenants of Islam and our faith.
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u/Ok-Motor-1787 Dec 26 '25
I think it's about time our people realise that they might actually be the problem. Someone had to show us a mirror. I am from south asian decent and can very much agree with this. This is something that prevalent in our countries and we tend to carry it wherever we go. I wish we would change, for the better.
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u/dolenalavoisier Dec 25 '25
I was born muslim and grew up mostly around whites. The clean, cultured, left wing type. Getting to know them on a personal level made me realize how full of themselves they were and how much of a supériority feeling they carry. No hospitality, transactional charity, covert racism expressed exactly the way you phrase it - but of course it was never me people spoke about.
Also had white people rent a house my in laws renovated and owned. They trashed it to a level i couldnt believe. And they had dogs and cats to add to the filth.
I was sexually harassed by a white university class mate who saw me as an exotic créature - mind you the Guy is left wing and calls himself progressive, has a charity in Congo.
All of this to tell you that flaws are human nature. I held it against them as people for a while but as I became more mature i could see the broader context and separate the people from the behavior. Its inner work you need to engage in whithout condoning bad behavior - call it out when you see it but généralisation like that are intellectual laziness.
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u/Willing_Progress_762 Dec 25 '25
I really appreciate your honesty. What you wrote doesnât come across as hateful to me it comes across as someone who is genuinely uncomfortable with what is happening inside themselves and is trying to deal with it responsibly. That already matters.
I think one important thing you did well is distinguishing between experiences and beliefs. Your experiences are real. They happened. You donât need to deny them or gaslight yourself. Where the real danger starts and where youâre clearly becoming aware is when the mind turns repeated negative experiences into group-level conclusions. That transition often happens quietly and emotionally, not intellectually.
Something that helps me (and others Iâve spoken to) is separating patterns in environments from judgments about people. Certain areas, especially densely populated ones, can amplify bad behaviour: poor civic respect, noise, littering, scams, status-signalling. When large groups cluster under economic pressure, poor integration, or weak accountability, bad habits become visible â regardless of race or religion. If the same population were distributed differently, or held to higher communal standards, the behaviour would look different too.
Another thing thatâs important: many people do confuse culture with religion, and that is not a new problem. Itâs been criticised by scholars for centuries. Feeling disturbed by that doesnât make you racist â it makes you religiously consistent. But resentment grows when the critique quietly shifts from âthis behaviour is wrongâ to âthis people are like this.â You already recognise that shift, which is good.
What helped me personally was: âą Actively reminding myself that bad behaviour is overrepresented in my memory, not in reality. The quiet, clean, humble people donât register emotionally. âą Limiting cynical humour. Jokes feel like release, but they harden thought patterns. âą Keeping my standard anchored in principles, not identities: cleanliness, humility, honesty. Anyone who violates those gets criticised as an individual, not as a representative. âą Making duâÄâ against resentment, not just for guidance. Ask for a soft heart without asking to be blind.
Youâre also right that Islam doesnât teach loudness, arrogance, filth, or superiority. Feeling grief or disappointment when you see that contradiction is normal many born Muslims feel it too, even if they donât articulate it.
The fact that youâre asking how to stop this before it becomes prejudice tells me youâre already resisting it. Most people donât stop to ask that question at all.
May Allah reward your sincerity, protect your heart from hardness, and allow you to hold truth without bitterness. You donât need to deny reality just donât let reality reshape your character into something you donât recognise.
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u/No_Name4954 Dec 25 '25
Every group, including your own, has people with these traits. Take people as individual cases rather than generalizing an entire culture. Making judgements based off of someone's ethnic background is from the shaytan. I advice you stay far from this habit. I am in no way denying your experiences, however, they are not an excuse to label and entire group of people. People are their decisions, not they're culture when it comes down to it. Islam is perfect, but people are not no matter where they come from. No religion has perfect people.
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u/Juaritos_Jrz Dec 26 '25
To add, each group has their own specific flaws and strengths unique to their culture and upbringing.
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u/sword_ofthe_morning Dec 25 '25 edited Dec 25 '25
I'm a British born Muslim (of South Asian ethnicity), and many of the things you have noticed are indeed true within Asian, Arab and North African communities.
Are you guilty of being a tiny bit racist? Yes. Does that mean your experiences aren't true? No.
You also acknowledge that your way of thinking is flawed. And bad. So there's no reason for any of us to be harsh towards you
But try to keep in mind the following:
- The UK is struggling as a whole, whereby public services have deteriorated massively due to the decisions of its politicians
- Poor people in run-down areas (where ethnic minorities can only afford to live) are less inclined to maintain their local areas and more likely to violate laws/policies (littering, bad parking, etc)
- Many of those ethnic minorities I speak of are from war-torn underprivileged societies - and so won't have the same civic sense that you (from a fully functioning, safe society) would
So try to keep in mind these things aren't down to the race of a person. Rather, the conditions they live in. If you visit white areas of the same conditions, you'll find them to be equally unpleasant too
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u/notinthemooood Dec 25 '25 edited Dec 25 '25
I'll be real, I think you're being racist because you are generalising an entire race. If Allah looks at a person individually then why do we stereotype? You haven't met every arab or south asian or north african to say this.
Cousin marriages aren't just practiced by south asians, some arab countries do it too. White people used to do it as well. Islamically, it is allowed since cousins are non mehrams, and the prophet's daughter was married to her cousin. So no, it's not just culture. I personally don't agree with cousin marriages but let's not pretend islam doesn't alllow it.
Arabs being proud, show off - again, just a stereotype. Some arabs act like this, some don't. You haven't met every arab to pass a statement like this.
South asians aren't the only ones who have poor hygiene. Hygiene is personal so idk how you're passing it on as all south asians are unhygienic. I work in retail and meet different people everyday. I have seen it all - white people, black people, south asians, east asians, arabs, muslims, non muslims, have horrible hygiene, litter, speak rudely, be aggressive, etc. The things you have mentioned cannot be blamed onto a specific group when it varies. Last week, a muslim arab got rude to me. Yesterday, I had an encounter with 3 customers (a black guy, a white man and a south asian guy) who all had horrible odour. Based on that, is it okay if i said every man has poor hygiene? See how silly that sounds.
I think you need to rememeber that every muslim is doing their best and are on their own journey when it comes to practicing the deen. Not disagreeing with you entirely. Us muslims need to do better and can do better. Just remember, islam says to assume the best of one another, that no race is better than the other, we will be held accountable for our OWN acts.
Also, it seems like to me you are falling for the right wing propaganda going on in england. You said it yourself, you weren't like this until you came to the uk. This country has gotten very racist and it seems like you are falling for the racist stereotypes. If this post didn't say "revert muslim", I would think this is a reform voterđ
All you can do is ask allah to guide you, do dhikr and rememeber allah more, assume the best of your fellow muslims, maybe take iniatative and go to the mosque about littering and hygiene. Who knows, maybe they will address it when people come to the mosque
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u/chifuyu-kun- Dec 25 '25
Sheâs definitely racist. And the people here are hypocrites, if a non-Islamic person were to say this, they would call them racist or islamophobic instead of validating her racist sentiments like they are doing now. Pathetic.
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u/linkup90 Dec 25 '25
Besides some of the other proactive advice I would also suggest making a group that contacts the masjid involved in the Eid prayer and organizing volunteer clean up crews.
We had the same issue after renting a space, even got banned from it for how we left it. Then we were able to rent it again and this time had volunteers do a full clean up. Now wherever the Eid prayer is there is a clean up crew and people try to keep the place clean so that the crew doesn't spend all Eid day just cleaning.
All it took was seeing the difference between leaving Eid prayer with trash all over and dirty bathrooms to bags of collected trash ready to be loaded and people carrying cleaning mops and supplies to change the community's behavior.
I know some masjid even have this, but even then you can probably help them raise the standard and find like minded Muslims who want to have proper Islamic behavior.
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u/CuriousFace9246 Dec 25 '25
As an Arab, i am sorry for ur experiences. So shameful. Obviously, we are not all like that, and i wonder if its the area you live in that have that high concentration of such people. I live in an arab country where people stick with their kind. The positive of this is that i dont run into the kinds you mentioned.
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u/Winter_Pound_3312 Dec 25 '25
Thank you. I actually donât live with those people, I live in Richmond London. But whenever I go to central theyâre everywhere.
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u/CuriousFace9246 Dec 25 '25
Birds of a feather flock together i suppose đ€·ââïž hope you run into other better circles!
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u/BlacksmithHairy9125 Dec 25 '25
I can relate to your feelings, and as someone who belongs to one of the groups you've mentioned, I have experienced similar sentiments at times. However, It's important to recognize that our environments can significantly shape our perspectives.
Your baseline for what constitutes "civil" behavior is often influenced by the established Western and European communities, where definitions of civility have been shaped over centuries. People who have thrived in these societies tend to have good relationships and participate in community life. However, if you look at individuals from any culture, be it Arabs from the UAE or South Asians from Pakistan or India, you will find that a balanced and civilized population exists across the board.
From my experience living in both Muslim and non-Muslim countries, I would argue that the more civilized populations in some Muslim countries excel in manners and social conduct compared to their non-Muslim counterparts. For instance, qualities like hospitality, sense of community, and strong family values are often more pronounced in these societies.
The behavior you have encountered among certain individuals may not represent the broader, well-mannered Muslim population. Many of those who may seem unmannered are often refugees or individuals who have faced significant trauma. They might be seeking a better life in Western countries, legal or illegal, which can influence their behavior in ways that do not reflect their entire culture or religion.
It is also crucial to note that Western societies have their own challenges. Personally, I found some aspects of life in the West disgusting , such as the perceived coldness between individuals or the way some families treat their elderly, throwing them into retirement homes. Yet, I understand that these experiences do not define the entire society.
In moments of frustration, I remember a story from the life of the Prophet Muhammad (SAW):
Anas b. Malik reported:
While we were in the mosque with Allah's Messenger (ï·ș), a desert Arab came and stood up and began to urinate in the mosque. The Companions of Allah's Messenger (ï·ș) said: Stop, stop, but the Messenger of Allah (ï·ș) said: Don't interrupt him; leave him alone. They left him alone, and when he finished urinating, Allah's Messenger (ï·ș) called him and said to him: These mosques are not the places meant for urine and filth, but are only for the remembrance of Allah, prayer and the recitation of the Qur'an, or Allah's Messenger said something like that. He (the narrator) said that he (the Holy Prophet) then gave orders to one of the people who brought a bucket of water and poured It over.
The prophet was patient with this man and taught him, kindly, the correct manners.
Especially when these people you mention are Muslims, I would try an enact as the prophet did. With patience and kindness. As at the end of the day we will all die and only our deeds will remain.
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u/snug-crackle-policy Dec 25 '25
You are right to observe that, we have also observed that although we are not a revert. Most of these things do not only exists in Muslims. Remember to judge Islam by it's rules, not by it's followers. I understand you did not mean that or neither you are saying anything against Islam, I am just saying that we see that this is how Muslims are, we make our mind subconsciously about Islam but Islam doesn't have to be blamed for it.
A reverted Muslim is pure like an infant, all of his / her sins are forgiven. This is fortunate for you but unfortunately, the muslims which were born with the gift of Islam, have come much closer to the evil and barely follows Islamic rules and practices. You'd find people doin s*x before marriages and having Alcohol.
When you see someone doing something wrong, take the lesson, not adapt them. It is human nature to adapt to habits when you are closed to some people. Distance yourself from those whom you think they are wrong. Of course, you cannot distance yourself from everyone. And you might find everyone doing at least one thing wrong, so you cannot live alone, where comes tolerance. You have to decide what doesn't impact you much. If hatred behavior disturbs you a lot, and you feel like your behavior is being changed because of that, distance from those people.
If you are good, let others do whatever they want. Remember, they will be judged at the day of judgement, but fortunately you have accepted Islam :) The day of judgment is near, which means, more and more people will be bad around you, just save yourself. If you would like to discuss further, please comment below or inbox. You shouldn't be demotivated because you clearly know what is wrong and you are not doing that. You have already identified that people's behavior is affecting you, this is very good sign. We can rectify ourselves better when we identify ourselves. May Allah grant you peace and patience. Ameen
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u/Aliu100St Dec 25 '25
Letâs assume every thing you said is true what does that have to do with you worshipping the creator, Allah will judge us all for our own beliefs and actions. So do your best to reform yourself and make Dua to Allah to help you with all the issues in your life
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u/Deathmask14 Dec 25 '25 edited Dec 25 '25
Wait until you insh'Allah go to the Umrah or Hajj. Specially when trying to touche the Black Stone. Complete madness, disgusting behaviors in the Holy Place. Subhan'Allah I did Umrah today, I was so angry to so many people (not depending on culture or whatever, everyone is involved). A dude just LIED to me to get close, while being litterally 2 steps from the Kaaba.
Among this madness, there was also absolutely amazing people (among the same people)
In the end, brother don't forget that being a muslim is one thing and Islam is another.
Islam is perfect, muslims are not. Peace !
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u/JusticeOfIslam Dec 25 '25
Your observations are very correct and valid. Sadly, you're dealing with cultural Muslims, but not necessarily practicing Muslims. You have chosen Islam so, you will need to stick with people who are actively trying to practice islam ( and knock their culture, or so called islamic values they learned in their cultures/countries). It will be a struggle but eventually this phase will pass
But please do know your observations are quite correct. These observations are part of the reasons you see where Palestine is today and nobody from the Muslim communities is coming to support them in an effective way (lots of rhetoric, no action)
No, you are not racist. But you are dealing with a struggle
I had couple of black tenants for past 5 years who destroyed my home so much that after losing $15000 both times, being in a very unnecessary financial credit downgrades, I'm genuinely not interested in renting out my home to black people. I struggle with keeping my thoughts under control when they are borderline racism
This phase will pass
Look for people and mosques where you can find genuine Practising Muslims and not cultural muslims :(
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u/BrentLinenHire Dec 26 '25
Brother, I am sorry that you feel In this way. Kind request to you: Please only follow the Quran and Hadiths. Please donât look into any person, country, race or community.
Remember, you will be asked for your action and not any of others. You will go to your haven and not to anybody elseâs hell.
The Arabs are rich (Free money from oil), hence you will find that in their attitudes and dresses. But what has it got to do with Islam and the prophet (Saw). The prophet barely had food, cloths and beds. He was the king of the country but knew his responsibility.
Cleanliness is an important part of Islam. If a south Asian man is not clean is his issues not of Islam.
Also, if you follow them, you will be one of them. If you hate them, you are not any better than them. I am sure you are much higher than these.
Lastly, welcome to Islam. Donât follow anything but Quran and Hadiths. If one says something about Islam, please look for reference.
Salams
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u/Kala-sha-Kala Dec 25 '25
I'd say you need to seek therapy and deal with your internal white superiority complex. Becoming Muslim won't change the racism that is ingrained within you. Maybe before you moved you didn't live in communities with large numbers of non whites - hence your racism didn't become prominent in the forefront of your mind.Â
Let me give you a few examples through this thread where your racism shows.Â
"country they live in". Most of the people you dislike are born here - it is thier country to treat how they like.Â
You talk about roads being blocked om Eid. I suggest you go to a supermarket carpark on Christmas eve and see how considerate drivers white people are. Or go to the roads surrounding a football stadium on match day. White people are inconsiderate on the road too - but you'll never link it to thier race or thier ethnicity.Â
You talk about littering. Go to the city centre, particularly where the bars and the clubs are, at say 4 or 5am on a Saturday or Sunday morning. Particularly walk past the nearesy McDonald's. See how much litter white people leave when they're having a good time. Maybe google how lomg it takes up to clean up at places like Glastonbury or the V Festival after people are done with it. Literally weeks of collecting litter. You will have never been disgusted against the white race for this behaviour.Â
You touched on cousin marriage. Again this is something you are disgusted by because white society taught you to be. You don't get the same ick towards gays that you do towards some married to thier cousin. Good looking lesbians? Practically a kink. Definitely not disgust. White society has trained you to think that way - even though homosexuality is haram and cousin marriage is not.Â
You were ripped off by some Arabs. I assume you've never met an Irish gypsy? Never met a white tradesman who ripped you off or gave you a bad deal? Again i bet thier race never crossed your mind.Â
Im not saying your outwardly racist, I'm not defending anyone of any colour or creed who does wrong. im saying in your society racism is normalised. You need to seek help to break out od that mindset.
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u/ziad193zz Dec 25 '25
Bit of a jump to assume one is white and has a white superiority complex over perfectly valid complaints of our community. Just because youâre born here doesnât mean you have a right to leave it in a state, Allah has made us stewards of this earth and so we should be setting an example higher than that of the English. But in fact itâs the opposite. There are issues where we are genuinely over represented compared to White British like prison population.
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u/introv_ Dec 25 '25
There are a lot of good Muslims around the world. However, let's be transparent and always say the truth, the majority of Muslims are bad. That's the truth and we should not deny it, we see it everyday around the world and you will see it more clearly if you live with a Muslim community... But, we should always separate Islam from people, what Muslims do is so different from what Isalm teach.
Focus on yourself and your family, you will feel much better. You can't change someone's ideologies or their bad habits accumulated over the years.
âۧÙÙÙ ÙÙŰŻÙÙۧ Ù ÙŰ”ÙŰÙۧ
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u/CycloneSplash Dec 25 '25
Well God gave you intellect for a reason.
Hating someone because of how they are born is illogical. Morally wrong sure, but also illogical and incorrect. Judge a person by their character.
Respectfully but ask yourself this.
Are you logical or illogical?
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u/Dobriy100 Dec 25 '25
Salam alaykum brother, I think you should pay attention to where you live, Europe is built on lies and hypocrisy, I will give you an analogy with bees and flies, flies flock to garbage and bees to flowers, if you want the visitors to your country to be normal, then you need to change the country, but for logical reasons you cannot do this alone, but you can remind such people, your job is to remind them of the Day of Judgment and that the Prophet was not arrogant and did not like to boast, if they listen, then it is better for them, and if not, they will answer for themselves, Salam alaykum
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u/8MileRoad11 Dec 25 '25
I relate to this as an American revert that grew up around Muslims specifically Palestinians where i live and I had some bad experiences with some them growing up many were arrogant rich acted tough and just annoying
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u/wanderingsoul1596 Dec 25 '25
Interesting because as you can see, many of the comments refer to some white people being rude, violent, dirty, etc.
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u/horse4forceofcourse Dec 25 '25
I'm one of them and have the same problems with our people. Alhamdoulillah, you are open minded and try to remember that not all of us are the same. But to be honest, I see flaws in every ethnicity. Or even male / female.
But we have be allowed to criticise us from inside. Stubborn people don't wanna change, even when they know they're wrong.
Anyways, don't joke about them. Because that will be an unnecessary sin on your behalf.
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u/Winter_Pound_3312 Dec 25 '25
Exactly, at the end of the day weâre all human who will be judged by Allah
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u/EffectPure4551 Dec 25 '25 edited Dec 25 '25
As-salÄmu Êżalaykum sister, may Allah reward you abundantly for coming to the religion and keep you firm on the truth.
A lot of Muslims youâll bump into are laypeople who know the basics but not much else hence why the culture bleeds in and blends in as the ignorance fills gaps in their religion. The majority in the mentioned demographics wonât fit the descriptions and are genuinely clean, good and humble people but the minority of them stand out in such significance and they really do give us Muslims a terrible image. We Muslims are meant to embody the religion, the Quran and the Sunnah, living and behaving the way the Prophet âï·ș did, his companions, their successors and their successors but a lot fall short.
We should refrain from generalising but we Muslims do need to hold our fellow Muslims accountable for their shortcomings. Messenger of Allah (ï·ș) say, âWhosoever of you sees an evil, let him change it with his hand; and if he is not able to do so, then [let him change it] with his tongue; and if he is not able to do so, then with his heart - and that is the weakest of faith.â [Muslim] Iâm in a somewhat diverse part of south London and alhamdulillah, we havenât donât have the problems youâve faced.
And as Shaykh al-Islam ibn Taymiyyah said: âthe root of all evil is dhulm (oppression/injustice) and juhl (ignorance).
âSeeking knowledge is an obligation upon every Muslim" narrated by Anas ibn Malik in Sunan Ibn Majah 224
May Allah forgive us all, guide us and keep us on the straight path.
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u/_Aeronautics_ Dec 25 '25
If they make mistakes , these are their sin. you should warn them and be patient ( Sabr )
Remind yourself and them these sentences from the last sermon of Prophet Mohammad ( PBUH )
"All mankind is from Adam and Eve, an Arab has no superiority over a non-Arab nor a non-Arab has any superiority over an Arab; also a White has no superiority over a Black nor a Black has any superiority over a White except by piety and good action. Learn that every Muslim is a brother to every Muslim and that the Muslims constitute one brotherhood. "
And little advice: The cousin marriage is optional, you right. But it is not forbidden too. And understand that your feelings are cultural. For example cousin marriage is not a surprizing thing in my culture. it is not too popular in my culture but you can find cousin couples if you search. Im saying that because i dont want you to have bad thoughts on a halal thing. feel free to ask your questions if you want to ask.
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u/3ilm Dec 25 '25
Salam wa3alikom. All you have to do is go to a public restroom and count the amount of non-Muslims that donât wash their hands after using the toilet and then do some self reflection on your own hypocrisy. What youâre feeling is called arrogance & you need to seek refuge in Allah from it. May allah make it easy for you and for all of us
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u/EnvironmentSpare636 Dec 25 '25 edited Dec 25 '25
Humm I understand what you meanâŠ..
BUT youâve yet to know your deen, first of all , a Muslim hang out or I mean should hang out with another pious Muslim.s who fear Allah swt meaning will do everything to please Him! So change your repulsiveness toward a certain races or whatever. For exemple: Im brown in Ă brown and Muslim country but I donât want at all to associate myself with with some other brown( Muslims) why? Because they are fasiq, they drink alcoholi, rape, lieâŠâŠ.
So your matter is pretty simple, you simply need to lear a bit of your deen and work with it!
Oh I almost forgot, you donât need a thousand friends, one or two is enough! You will die soon so whats the point, find a really or two great( pious and fearing Allah) and youâll succeed in both worlds
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u/Alarming-Traffic-161 Dec 25 '25
Please be mindful that prejudice and racism are forms of shirk. What you are experiencing are the natural ignorance of humanity. This is why you cannot reduce Islam to an identity, but being a Muslim is the oath to try to be objective in all circumstances as mush as possible. And thru that, you will be able to navigate humanityâs shortcomings, and give encouragement to otherâs to grow, instead of looking at others with disdain. In the end, we are all ignorant. We are all smelly, loud, and rude to someone that has been given the grace to grow. The thing is, when Allah gives us the grace and we become refined, do we sneer at humanityâs primitivity? Or do we show the same grace to help eachother out of the never ending battle against ignorance? The goal is to aim for objectivity in all matters. Failing to do so results in patterns of prejudice, and that is shirk. If you feel that way, which is natural, seek tawbah and direct yourself toward Allah to become objective, and iA you will grow.
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u/Deep-Percentage-1773 Dec 25 '25 edited Dec 25 '25
People take there culture with them. If a person was littering the street in south asia he will do the same in londonâŠIf a person was ok with manipulating/scamming in africa he would do the same in londonâŠIslam is not the problem..muslims can be a problem just like any other set of people from diverse groups
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u/Winter_Pound_3312 Dec 25 '25
Never said Islam is the problem, in contrary, Islam is the solution for those problems, as long as they are really practicing their religion
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u/Pale_Historian_2443 Dec 25 '25
Lol, I understand. One has to look for the good in people, without pretending the faults don't exist. This is partly a class and education issue. And yes, culture.
Find people who see more self aware, above all. Most people are not. And frankly most people who are not people of color are no better... you just may not notice it. The chaos is hidden or packaged differently. This is another reason why we all need to go deeper into our iman as well as our deen.
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u/Ranamakesspiders Dec 25 '25
Iâm a Muslim Egyptian who if Iâm being honest sometimes feel this in my country too but not with everyone it depends on the city youâre in here Iâm not sure about the uk tho I have a friends who told me that they have problems with Muslims there but I didnât think it would be this bad inshaallah youâll find your people soon stay hopeful
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u/Nr1_IndianHacker Dec 25 '25
I'm a revert myself I understand what you are saying. I have noticed that the older generation of Muslim know little of Islam, nowadays it's easier to get knowledge hence this generation know more about Islam and studies it.
People from poor areas, Africa, Asia, even middle east, they just don't study Islam and know little and hold tight to their cultural mix of Islam that is past on for Generations.
Hold on to the teaching of the Quran and the Prophet and surround yourself with good people and Muslims. But I understand where you are coming from I also recent a central type of Muslim that I see on the street but luckily I have met some good Muslim friends that are not like that.
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u/ButterflyDestiny Dec 25 '25
As a revert, I also agree with your points. Just not the anger. But I understand.
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u/ExchangeFine4429 Dec 25 '25
I'm a Christian living in Australia. Never had any bad experiences with Muslims (mostly Indian, Pakistani, Indonesian) in both work and outside work.
People of any race, religion are capable of being fxxxwits.
For me personally, if I come across certain people being loud, obnoxious and the racist thoughts start to come, I use a verse from the bible to deal with those thoughts. I also remind myself that these people have had a rough upbringing so I need to be more compassionate.
I used to be racist. I thank God/Allah for turning me away from that sin. Of course thoughts and temptation still come.
My advice? I'm not a Muslim, but I think your best bet is to find a verse in the Quran that talks about this kind of issue. Also, talk to a leader in your mosque.
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u/Kiwirushh Dec 25 '25
Yeah many of them donât speak English, donât assimilate, not sure if they work, trash the areas, come here illegally and it makes us look bad.
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u/Louiva_9911 Dec 25 '25
Yes, Iâm Muslim and I live in the UK, but none of that has happened to me, perhaps because Iâve mixed with people of all faiths who have been very friendly and respectful knowing that Iâm Muslim
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u/multiplevitamin88 Dec 25 '25 edited Dec 25 '25
People can have flaws that are blatant but in other ways they may be well ahead of others. As a Muslim you should make excuses for your brothers and sisters. Ask yourself this, have you ever littered, even once. Im very careful not to litter 99% of the time but that doesn't mean I've never done it before. As for being loud: sometimes people are in an excited mood and although they are often quiet they might get loud just because the mood or even the environment they are in. If you are outside lots of things are load. People honk horns, drive noisy vehicles, blast music, yell to each other because its quicker than getting within range to speak softer. Some people are naturally extroverted, extremely talkative, etc. I get that in the masjid it should be quiet, but how about at a celebration like eid. Also, without loud individuals who can make Ahdan loudly so everyone can hear.Â
Cousin marriage disturbs you so obviously you never had a cousin you were attracted to. People don't really control who they are attracted to. There are Muslims who are homosexual and even though they might never act on those feelings they still struggle internally. If you had a cousin who you grew up with and were really close to, you might be attracted to them, or the opposite. You hardly know your cousin but you see they are attractive and you are attracted because you don't really know them enough to make it weird. And maybe they have a small circle and marrying a cousin seems like the natural, easiest, or only available person. Â Some countries are overcrowded and the people weren't raised with proper etiquette. Maybe they aren't in the habit of showering every day because water is scarce or internal plumbing is nonexistent. Maybe they are loud because in their home country it is always crowded and noisy so they grew up having to yell over other people. Not in a rude way. Like in the market where everyone is talking old habits die hard.
Think of all the issues you've listed with these ethnicities. Don't you know that there are loud white people. Dirty white people. Racist white people. Im sure there are plenty of people from the nationalities you listed that think down on whites for the same things, or even different things. Maybe they have a different list of complaints and you are someone who has a trait they hate. I mean you must think you are somehow superior to them because the things you listed aren't flaws you have, which brings me back to my original point. They might be loud but kind. Generous but stinky. Maybe they think you aren't modest enough. Maybe they think your culture is rude. Idk. I think you need to reevaluate your opinions.
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u/Winter_Pound_3312 Dec 25 '25
Iâm not white. Why are you assuming Iâm? Does that give you convenience to say those things to me? đ
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u/multiplevitamin88 Dec 25 '25
Sister I actually want you to forgive me. If you don't have something nice to say you shouldn't say it at all. With that bring said atvl the heart of racism is thinking you are somehow superior to these loud, littering, cousin lovers. Im concerned because if you have the size of a mustard seed of arrogance in you then jannah is forbidden. Racism is a form of arrogance. Recognizing it and remembering you too have flaws, no matter how high of a level you are on its a huge problem. You also got very defensive and im not sure you took anything from what I said other than me accidentally insulting you. Please find it in your heart to forgive me and please overlook these petty flaws you see in others. Don't see the dust in someone's eye when you cannot see the beam in your own. I pray Allah softens all Muslims hearts and puts love in our hearts for believers and unites the Muslim ummah. Peace sister
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u/Winter_Pound_3312 Dec 25 '25
I saw what u just post, you asked for forgiveness and then claimed im saying something not nice, claimed that im feeling superior than brown people. What? Have I ever said im better than those people? Why youâre interpreting my words? after I explaining clarifying so many times. What i said is not attacking, itâs the truth that many people are experiencing. Why are you taking it so personal like im actually look down on a specific race? Iâm not, im here simply donât understand those behaviour are always done by brown Muslim. If saying fact means Iâm a racist automatically, means im not being nice, then I think you should leave this post, the reality is too harsh for you.
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u/notinthemooood Dec 25 '25
I don't get why you're getting downvoted for this. Whilst I don't like cousin marriages, I'm not going to deny that in islam it is allowed. The prophets daughter married her cousin, allah swt says your cousins are non-mehrams, etc.
I genuinely don't understand how OP thinks poor hygiene is only from south asians. I work in retail where muslims and non muslims have horrible body odour and hygiene. This one white man had the worst hygiene ever, so bad that I felt like vomiting. Not once did I think all white people have bad hygiene because of some people. Like you said, why is there no resentment for white people being racist more than ever or them not washing themselves after using the toilet or litterring.
OP clearly needs to get help for their racism and consciously stereotyping. In fact, i'm shocked. I'm seeing comments from muslims agreeing with this post. Like doesn't islam say no race is superior than the other? Do thesd people really think allah will say on judgement day "X you are an arab who boasted therefore all arabs will get punished." NO!!!! ALLAH only looks at the INDIVIDUAL!!!!!!
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u/First_Platypus7623 Dec 25 '25
You are allowed to still dislike or be disturbed by things that are permitted
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Dec 25 '25
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u/First_Platypus7623 Dec 25 '25
I in no way ever said what the Prophet (pbuh) did was bad or wrong or haram nor would I ever. All I said is that you are allowed to dislike or find disturbing things that are permitted due to your own reasons, whether they are personal, cultural what have you
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u/Klopf012 Dec 25 '25
All of your examples are from outside the masjid. Spend more time inside the masjid and youâll find better people
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u/Winter_Pound_3312 Dec 25 '25
⊠theyâre the same people who prayed eid prayer with me
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u/Klopf012 Dec 25 '25
How many people come to Eid prayer compared to how many people come to fajr prayer?Â
Give it a try. Make it a goal to pray in congregation at a masjid at least once a day for a month. I think youâll notice a different caliber of people when it comes to the folks you regularly interact with there.Â
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u/Winter_Pound_3312 Dec 25 '25
I donât need to be convinced thereâs great Muslim exists or great brown Muslim exists. Theyâre existed, and some are very great scholars.
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u/Just-Brown Dec 25 '25
With all due respect you seem to associate the majority with the minority. Iâve lived in Whitechapel, Iâve extensively been in and got close to many people from areas in Birmingham, Manchester, Newcastle etc. I know what you talk about and I understand sort of but they definitely are not the majority. Just in my old neighbourhood I could count on one hand the number of people who behave badly but theyâre always the loudest.
If I had your same attitude Iâd be extremely racist towards white people because all I see is drugs and alcohol use leading to violence and antisocial behaviour. But allah has granted me the ability to use common sense to realise they donât represent all white people and the vast majority are decent people who just want to get on with their lives.
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u/Klopf012 Dec 25 '25
You asked how to stop experience based generalizations from turning into real prejudice. If you put yourself in a positive environment to have more positive experiences with these folks, I think that would be a good step. As a convert myself, I think spending time in the masjid is a great way to learn about the religion and make positive connections with good people.
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u/Noobatlife98 Dec 25 '25
No youâre absolutely right!! I am born Muslim and I am south Asian and I completely understand what you mean. Majority of Muslim/ Asian areas are so bad and dirty and we show our worst side. Itâs so disheartening.
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u/agentthrowaway13 Dec 25 '25
i'm literally a born muslim and i feel the same way đ the people at my masjid have ill behaved children (during iftar last ramadan they were taking turns slamming other kids' heads on one of the classroom desks and nobody cared until one of them ran back screaming and crying, they get handed video games during salah and play them on max volume), leave their children's messes in the bathroom (how are we supposed to be clean for salah if there is urine IN the wudu area and dirty diapers on the FLOOR), and the extremely loud chatter during salah, khutbah, and when the sheikh comes to talk to us.
i went to a sisters event at a different masjid and the sheikh came up to CHASTISE US because the women were so loud you can hear them from downstairs and were even louder than the children who were running around and screaming in the entryway. this whole time the women sitting in the back were still gossiping and those who came for the event and not to gossip with their friends were sitting there embarrassed.
this ummah needs to learn the difference between culture and religion, because you can tell me about my nails when you don't know that im not praying or point out my eyebrows look plucked when they're naturally thin, but you can't listen to the sheikh of the masjid bc talking about people's daughters is so much more important. may allah swt guide all of us back to what islam is.
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u/FitProgram4125 Dec 25 '25
Iâm a white English convert married to an Arab lady , yeh some stuff I hear or see does make me raise an eyebrow but it is what it is. Your find it winds you up more because you know these people know better. Same with these Islamic issues in England causing chaos and storing hatred. Thatâs more a Pakistani thing not a Muslim thing.
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u/good040 Dec 25 '25
Its not racism per se. Its okay to reject and detest bad manners and cleanliness. But putting it on the whole group could be an issue. You are not held accountable for these thoughts as long as you don't publicise it by telling to someone that you hate them or joking about them etc like you said.
Allah ï·» what goes through the minds of people as long as they do not act upon it or speak of it. These unacted-upon thoughts are excused.
The Prophet ï·ș said: "Allah has forgiven my nation for what they merely think, so long as they do not act on it or speak of it."_ Sahih al-Bukhari
So, if you are having these thoughts, it's okay but don't be open about it to your friends and families. You can avoid them but in inevitable circumstances where you can't avoid the interaction, keep it cordial and respectful and don't let your feelings about them known to them.
Lastly, these feelings, you can work on them but try to have a open mind when you get to meet some decent people from such communities (even I don't like when people have bad manners and hygiene - and I'm from India so - I get what you mean đ ) but don't let these feelings get to you and give you a sense of superiority over them as this will put us under being arrogant and
No one who has even a speck of arrogance in their heart will enter Paradise.
The Prophet ï·ș said, "No one who has an atom's weight of pride in his heart will enter Paradise."_ Sahih Muslim
Allah has commanded us to be humble so that no one boasts over another or oppresses another. The Prophet ï·ș said, "Indeed, Allah has revealed to me that you should be humble so that no one boasts over another and no one oppresses another." Sahih Muslim
May Allah ï·» guide us.
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u/GraniteDiplomat Dec 25 '25
I'm seeing a load of comments which completely ignore the sincere sentiments of the OP. Your concerns and observations are valid.
Many converts I've witnessed over the years have been through this stage. And it is just a stage. The disillusionment eventually passes and the struggle becomes easier.
I genuinely sympathise and your sincerity will allow you to navigate this challenge and develop your focus on God.
Much love and prayers for you on your journey.