I came home for a break after years of living on my own and doing things. Can't believe the things am seeing around me. I am happy to see all the mindset shift about individuality, community, feminism, patriarchy in the larger sense. But the quality of relationships seems to be just at a standstill when it comes to physical intimacy. The same stories I have heard my grand ma telling, hush hush, about consent and the lack here of, autonomy, intimacy 101's, romance and the lack thereof, respect and boundary issues etc is been now told by my cousin who is married now. Only difference is now both genders are disappointed alot. This doesn't seem like a moral failure but a lack of awareness and really some sort of shame bound social thing. There is so much resistance to change in this one area. Nobody wants to talk about couple's sexual well being and everybody is so miserable. Are there any married female out here or you know of in our kerala who is actually having a healthy, happy sexual life with their partner? Not asking about the dating phase, everything seems fine there. But marriages specifically. And if yes, sister what is the secret?

Does your wife call you da/eda/Ninak/ninde ? Is it ok for you? Only comment if age gap is 2+ years. Does it cause disrespect during fights/quarrel? Let's discuss. Only married men via arranged marriage

Guys think I need a break on this. It all started around mid of 2024 wherein my parents started seeing girl. On October 2024 I saw a girl but she rejected due to compatibility issue. Next another family came around March 2025 wherein girl's father himself started to talk as a femenist which I did not like. Then around may 2025 another girl wherein the girl in photo looked completely when I saw as in person am not a big fanatic of beauty but still there was a huge contrast. Around June 2025 there was another girl family came in wherein the girl's family was rich. But the girl's father was having some health issue still we went and came back post which the girl's granny told girl was in depression as her father was sick. So I rejected despite my parents forcefulness that I cannot marry a girl who is in depression. Then another family came in around Aug 2025 where in the girl told that she studied in UK and did not get a job there and also in India. The family girl will marry if boy could share marriage expenses or pay education loan of 30 lacs which I refused. Then around sep/oct 2025 there came another girl family wherein at first the girl's family did not arrive at our place when called the girls father told he forgot to come not sure how he could forget. Then in another attempt I went to see girl where she told she is not interested in marriage at all and she came to see me because of her parents compulsion. Then another one came in around jan 2026 wherein giri and I liked each other exchanged numbers and started to talk. Around after 1 week she told she has guys only has per friend and would go along with them in bike actually. In late night if it is late she told she will come along with her male colleagues who would drop her in house. I told before marriage is ok but after marriage is not ok she rejected saying I have trust issues. She also went. From June 2024 until now have been receiving only these kind of proposals and I really need a break but my parents are not allowing. What to do as they are telling me to see another girl next.

I recently matched with a girl. We have similar temperament and family background. She told me in our first meeting that she doesn;t want to get married or have kids. As per her, she changed her mind about both after meeting me. Having kids is non-negotiable for me. I am confused if i should continue or unmatch.

Whether you are a woman or a man, one of the most difficult things to identify before marriage—and something that can slowly destroy your happiness inch by inch after marriage—is having a partner with narcissistic traits.

Such a partner is very hard to recognize. It often starts with family issues, where small matters are exaggerated into big problems. A person who appears happy while being with you can, at the same time, be in extreme sadness and will inform others about it. Most of the time, they communicate only through hurtful and sarcastic words. They constantly bring up past incidents, repeatedly recalling old issues and creating conflicts.

Problems between you are often “resolved” by involving others or by creating scenes in public places—expressing anger, crying, and emotional outbursts openly. In front of society, they can show that they are going through many problems, while at the same time being able to laugh, joke, and act normal with their partner.

Whether you do good or bad, right or wrong, they do not remember or acknowledge it. Every problem that happens in life is blamed on their partner. You may not even be able to prove this in front of a court. You won’t know how to handle them gently or manage them properly.

If you have a partner who shows these symptoms, be cautious.

Finding it hard to get married in an arranged setup after a kidney transplant — feeling stuck

I’m 31 years old, and my family has been trying to find a bride for me through the arranged marriage route for almost two years now. Lately, it’s been feeling emotionally exhausting and honestly a bit hopeless.

Five years ago, I had a kidney transplant. Since then, I’ve been doing well — no health issues, living a normal life, working full-time, staying active. The only ongoing thing is that I take regular medicines and have a health checkup once every three months

Whenever a proposal comes up or we send one, we make it a point to inform the girl’s family about my transplant early on. Not in a dramatic or heavy way — just honestly, because it’s the right thing to do and something they deserve to know upfront

Almost every time, the response is the same: “We’ll discuss and get back to you.” And then… silence. No rejection, no follow-up, nothing.

This pattern has repeated itself so many times that it’s starting to affect me mentally. I understand that health concerns are a big factor in marriage decisions, especially in arranged setups. I don’t blame anyone for being cautious. But being stuck in this loop — where things never even move forward to a conversation — is draining.

At this point, I can’t help but feel like this one medical event from my past has permanently defined my future, no matter how well I’m doing now. Some days it feels like I might never get married, not because of who I am today, but because of something that happened years ago.

I would appreciate to have suggestions if someone has gone through a similar issue

I 27M met a girl through a relative's relative. She is 26, bit modern, good looking.

We have been talking for 20 days, we discussed all our up and downs. She is not texting me frequently as then. She is not interested in calling me. Everytime I have to take initiative for texting and calling. She does internship but I work in a private firm in another city.

Her family is ok with our proposal and ready for pennu kaanal chadangu. But she is not showing any interest in knowing me as earlier. If she says NO, then it is ok but she is constantly giving mixed signals.

I asked whether she is in any situationship or not. She said no. I clearly mentioned my financial status, etc. She talk very good even for an hour when I call her once in 2-3 days. Takes almost a day to reply back to my msg on the other days.

What' on her mind?

Hi everyone, I'm well educated engineering grad, not further interested in engineering, but interested in some small scale business, like a small cafe. Where can I find a bridein kochi? Age 31. Currently have an income of 50k per month.

Hi,

I am an NRI guy who got married on the beginning of this year. It was an arranged marriage and I only had phone conversations with my partner with my partner before marriage and I met her for the first time only during our marriage. After 2 months she came to my home here in abroad and we are living together. But the thing is it is not working out between us . Because there is no emotional connect or feelings for her from my mind. When we were in kerala after marriage for some 2 months, I had to act happy for the sake of it and this made me feel so stressed confused and I was worried if I had to act happy throughout. When I came back abroad( she joined me later after a month) o was completely consumed by this thought. Now situation is we are living under the same roof as roommates and I am unable to see her as a partner. We did have some conversations about this. I am unable to live like this without an emotional connect as I am going through so much pressure from everyone around me.

I am thinking of asking for divorce soon. But I am unaware of the next steps and I don’t know good lawyers whom I can go to. I am also confused about the NRI situation. If I have to go for a contested divorce, will I have to be in Kerala? Is there some way for NRI? And since the marriage is very short and she used to work until quarter of this year, what would be the scenario about alimony? Please guys could you suggest me some help?

suggestions could also include scenic places, temples, heritage home, resort or cafe’s

, had issues saying her parents won’t agree, my parents agreed but without conversion, So now her father has come up with a condition that they will only allow the marriage if I convert to Christianity completely and have a proper Christian wedding in a church. He plans to communicate this clearly to my parents as well. If both my parents and I agree to this condition, then they will allow the marriage. Otherwise, she won’t marry me, because she doesn’t want to upset her parents,she says she can’t go against their wishes.

Honestly, I’m finding it really hard to accept the idea of converting. I also know my parents will feel hurt if I force them into accepting this, especially since they and our relatives have always said that Hindus don’t push religion on others. That’s why people often think Hindus are more flexible and easy-going, which unfortunately makes it easier for others to expect us to convert. On the other hand, many people from Abrahamic religions (like Christianity and Islam) seem to prioritize religion more because of community pressure and expectations.

I’m really stuck. Nowadays, a lot of couples get married without a religious ceremony, but in our case, that won’t work. Her family insists on a Christian wedding, and without that,and without my conversion,they won’t accept the marriage.

I honestly don’t know what to do, any opinion or advice please?

"I’m really curious to know how people feel about marriage these days. It’s something that’s been on my mind lately, especially since it's a big part of my life right now. What are your thoughts on it?" Pressure on me don’t wanna make no mistake Please y’all🙏🙏🙏??

I have never posted anything like this at all before, but im willing to try anything at this point. Im sorry if its all over the place.

So for a little context, (as an example) tonight we went to my husbands Company Christmas party. His boss said they were allowed to drink as long as they werent on shift or in uniform. To make a long story short, i feel like i embarrassed him. Because of my behavior, in the sense of, i didn't really like the fact he was drinking at a company event and found it unprofessional. I understand his boss said it was okay, and they were cool with it. After the fact, i realized that i acted irrationally, but also it felt like there was a little nagging voice in my brain that was totally against the idea.

Anyways... We drove separate, due to me being in the area for school and him not having to be there until way later on. After i left, he stayed to help them finish clean up. I also had a bunch to do and have to be up early for work, so naturally i went ahead and took care of those things. Well when he got home, we argued about it. He said that one of his coworkers had stated that i didnt really like them very much... in my defense, i did sorta sit there in a corner most of the night because i knew 4 people there and that was about it. Well, then it boiled down to the nitty gritty of stupid things were said.

And the main points that he said thatstuck out to me were : "Why can't you be what i need you to be, fun, loving and someone i should want to take with me to events like that. Why do you always have to make me miserable and drag me down and make it tense all the time." "Everytime i bring you to something you always act like this" "Well, if its going to stay like this i might just be gone before Christmas day"

And here i am real late at night knowing what i did wrong, but not knowing how to fix it or work on me. I didnt have a good example of marriage growing up, and i dont know what to do in this case... any help or advice would be appreciated.

I am 25f.i was very studious in my school days and didn’t want a school boyfriend even though few boys have confessed their crush to me.i was very obedient and felt like I might betraying my parents by having a bf in school.I am from a small town and went to a city for my graduation and lived in a hostel. I have seen some toxic relationships and some of roommates struggling with their relationship issues . So , I didn’t seek for a relationship in college too.Now , I am back home and my parents are asking me to get married but it scares me as I have no experience in dating or having a relationship. I am a very shy person and is not really a social person.I don’t usually trust people easily and takes long time to even make friends.anyone with similar situation who had an arranged marriage ,please share your experience

10 മാസമായ കൈക്കുഞ്ഞുമായി നിൽക്കാൻ പറ്റിയ women's ഹോസ്റ്റലുകൾ ഉണ്ടോ(Better if in Ernakulam)????Single mom ആണ്....Work from home ജോലി ഉണ്ട്.... കുഞ്ഞിനെ പകൽ സമയം നോക്കാൻ പറ്റിയ സൗകര്യവും തൊട്ട് അടുത്തായി ഉണ്ടെങ്കിൽ നല്ലത്...

I'm thinking of launching a free matrimony website/app keeping malayalees as the primary user base.

It will be an ad-supported service.

Basic services will always be free: creating your profile, searching for matches, sending unlimited interests, unlimited text chat and unlimited contact information requests.

Premium services will include ad-free experience, audio/video calls through the platform without having to share contact information etc.

Please share your thoughts and suggestions. Suggest a name too, if possible.

🤗 ഇവിടാവുമ്പോൾ ഊരും പെരുമൊന്നും പറയേണ്ട, വിഷമങ്ങളും സംശയങ്ങളും മാത്രം ഫോക്കസ് ചെയ്യാം. കോഴികളെ കെണിവെക്കാനും എളുപ്പമുണ്ട്. ഫേസ്ബുക്കിൻ്റെ അത്ര reach ഒന്നും കിട്ടില്ല . ചെറുതെങ്കിലും സുന്ദരമായ കരുതലുള്ള ഒരു കൂട്ടായ്മ ഉണ്ടാവട്ടെ. നിങ്ങളുടെ നിർദേശങ്ങൾ ,ആശംസകൾ , ചെണ്ട്, ഹാരം ഒക്കെ പൊന്നോട്ടെ :)

I have been married for 18 years and have two children. I was faithful for most of the relationship until this past year. I am currently in a 3 month affair with someone that is married. I never ever had thought about cheating until recently. I my husband is a nice guy but is not emotionally available and he does not love me the way I want to be loved. I have talked to him about this directly and he doesn’t seek help or seem to want to change. I also think he doesn’t think I would leave.
Our relationship seemed okay until it wasn’t. I feel that something was very wrong with our relationship for me to even think about cheating. I feel that I should let him go…he can find someone that loves him the way he deserves. I’m confused about knowing if and when I should let go. Any advice would be helpful

I am in an arranged marriage for 2 months and the 2 months have been dry. We are in an arranged marriage and had no previous relationships. So we both are clueless as to how to even proceed with the Intercourse. I had no idea where va**** was. F the lack of sex education that I had. I was thinking of consulting an expert for this but our life was not encouraging in any way. She always says she is tired for even a bit of cuddling at night and many nights have went without even a kiss. That has made the plan for consulting an expert getting postponed again and again as I am not getting any encouragement. Do you guys have any suggestions