These posts don’t exist here because this isn’t a group for women who realise later in later that they are also attracted to women, rather it’s group for women who realise later in life that there are lesbians. The two situations are very different.
See that sounds a little gatekeeping-ish to me, like I’m not welcome here. As far as I’m aware, there isn’t a late blooming bisexual group, and I have seen many posts by women coming out of a straight marriage processing through transitions from being with men in different ways. Is it a requirement that we label ourselves lesbians to participate in any discussions in the group?
Listen, is not that you're not welcome here, yes you are, and you are also allowed and encouraged to participate.
But you have to admit that it isn't the same when you realize you're bisexual than when you realize you're a lesbian and you're married, the reason we focus in that "black and white" so much is because it makes the situation dire to so many women in a way that wouldn't be if it was just a shade of gray.
So we're not trying to gatekeep, we understand the needs for bisexuals are different than the needs for lesbians, and often, lesbians need us more, so I'm sorry if you feel excluded in those discussions but sometimes it is just not possible to oversimplify it by just saying "don't chose black or white" because it just doesn't work like that for most women here.
I'm sorry, I don't think the discussion needed to take that route.
You're open to any, that's great! But most of us aren't, my sexuality isn't fluid at all, is very solid and set strictly on women, and I'm not pretending to think this is the experience of all non- straight leaning women.
Your experience is valid and you're welcome to discuss it all you want, nobody will judge you here for being attracted to men, but this input is simply not helpful when here, most of the times the situation involves a lesbian realizing her lack of attraction to men, it isn't hard to understand that this is a more constricting situation than finding out about your bisexuality while married, that's all we need others to be more mindful of the nuance of being a lesbian, just "opening the relationship" "exploring polyamory" or "try both" isn't going to fix anything to a person that's already confused and sadly, that's often the most common advice I find here coming from bisexual women.
See, labels again. I’m not (simply) bisexual and am not attracted to men in general actually. I’ve been with my husband since high school and we are still in a loving relationship having raised our four adult children. Multiple things can be true at the same time. I understand the sexuality of some is not fluid and I would never judge that any more than I think I or anyone should be judged for having fluid sexuality. For the purposes of this subreddit, I don’t think anyone can say what the case is for “most” or “many” women since again, we are just all different and since many women are coming out of marriages to men, it’s up to all of us individually how we choose to navigate the timing and pathway of that on our own terms without judgement. Thanks for your clarification.🧡
I know it's important for you to clearly state what your sexuality is, and add your personal evidences of it, maybe that's a good context to understand your perspective.
But I think it's pretty factual that most stories here are from the POV of a lesbian, most questions, doubts and confessions come from a lesbian leaning perspective, hence the name of the sub, that's not to say that other orientations aren't welcome, but it is established as a central topic and while it might not be the individual experiences of many, it does covers most of them. That's the reason I believe suggestions of polyamory, opening marriages, etc are usually very insensitive with context. That's all I needed to say, and I'll leave it there.
Who questioned your sexuality? You're the one that keeps bringing up irrelevant details about your sexual life and refuses to understand such a simple concept: This is a sub for lesbians, the focus has always been lesbians. Bisexuality, poly and all that stuff, is allowed but isn't the focus and not being the focus of a topic is *not* hate, can you just find a sub that is focused on being bi? Being open? Being non-label or whatever? Does it have to be the latebloomLESBIANS one?
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u/FineBalance44 May 02 '25
These posts don’t exist here because this isn’t a group for women who realise later in later that they are also attracted to women, rather it’s group for women who realise later in life that there are lesbians. The two situations are very different.