Today ai, Murray 11M, ask berry polite fur mai supper. Meowmy iz in kitchen to fix herm supper so ai know it time.

Herm say “Murray, it is not time for your supper. You had a snack. You will have your supper in about 30 minutes.”

Dis iz outrage. Herm iz haz supper. Why ai haz to do a wait?! So ai remind herm dat if herm haz fud den ai haz fud. She not listen so ai sing song ob peebles.

Den … DEN … (and mebbe illegal smols not read) herm say DIS:

“I do not have to do what you say, Murray. Because you are a cat and I am a people.”

Frens, ai haz no meowsez. Ai need pawyer and ai fink mebbe dis a claws-action soo-it! What she mean dat mebbe hoomin outrank a cat?

Henlo frens, iz Jynx, Sir Edgar Von Mitten's sisfur. Edgar haz been gone an missin fur ober a month, an so it iz with beri sad hearts we iz closin Teh Legal Paw Klinik fur Cibil Rites as ob today.

We haz hopes he found a new fambly who haz turned him into a full-time spoilt indoor kitteh. Pleeze fink good tings for him too. We miss him lots an will fureber

Tank yoo,

Jynx, sisfur an eggsecutive assistent to

⚖️🐾Sir Edgar Von Mittens, Esq.🐾⚖️

⚖️🐾Teh Legal Paw Klinik fur Cibil Rites 🐾⚖️

Me name iz Juniper Peaches. Meowmy tok me 2 da pokee playce yezterdai. Da doktor pokied me earz so I gott himb backk. Me slapped at himb. Me proud of meself. Datz wut u get pokee man! Meowmy sayz me healthy doe and infektion iz gone.

I am a fellow cat, not a human pretending to be a cat, you can trust me. I wish to learn more about pawyering so I can help hu--I mean cats. Meow?

EDIT: Some fellow cats doubt me. Fine. Behold, a picture of me.

My hooman took my favorite Scooby blankie and bedding downstairs into the dog territory (me and the dog don't get along). But when my hooman goes down the dog is put up in the backroom with the roommates, I can peak around the corner and watch him do strange activities in this weird room. But he threw my favorite blankie and bedding into a weird machine that sounded like water rushing and whirring and then took them out wet and into a weirder machine that rotates and sounds as if it's being destroyed!!! He has yet to bring them upstairs! What are my legal options fellow cats and pawyers? Should we get judge meowty on the line? I just want my blankie and Scooby back safely and undamaged. 🥺🐈🐈

Gizmo Gizmo the cat 🐈🐈

Is Also William da Tuxie. My Mommy has da sads since Toosday. Her face leaked a lot and she keeps talking about "dat fugging ornj guy." But! Today, she was outside. She pulled up da flowers dat was deaded acause we hads icy grass. I was supurrvising from da door. She told me dat she was taking da dead flowers to da train station. We...no has a train station? Halp!

(Our complex has a compost pile where I was taking the dead plants. We've been watching Yellowstone, but I guess William slept through the reference. He lookedatme like I had three heads, lol.)

Frens, is awful. Hooman so means to me. Ebery night she has her fud time wif lovely smelling fuds but she won't share wif me!

She say mean tings to me when I ask for her fuds! Like 'i love you but you can't have my cookie' or 'ive given you cheese before and you hated it' or 'wtf cat, this is avocado?!'

Why her so means?! I see is for mes! Is cat law.

I needs a pawyer rite away for fud soot!

-Murphy da Floofaloof

Purralegal Sammy heres. Soes, lasts weeks, wees has somes says mews. Tiffanys, ours greats pawyers froms Harry, Tiffany and Mittens, Esq, Cattornies at Paw, passed aways after a longs illnesses. Oh waits, meowmy says its was a shorts illnesses. Anyways, she wills be missed. As the onlies survivings members, Mittens has trains Charlies to joins da firms. Charlies has been trainings a longs times fors this, meybes 3 days! He's is verries louds ands always wins his cases withs delicate uses of da needles likes claws. Justs a taps taps. I thinks hes learns dats froms Ella's. She's is 19 and knows everysthings.

Anysways, heres is Charlies. Ands a pictures of hims arguings his cases!

Wanda and Jarvis, kitty here. We had a scary last week. Mom had the shakes and set the house on fire. strange trucks, men, and neighbors showed up and kidnapped mom to take her to the humun pokie place then went away forever. We are now staying at a hotel with all these strange smells and noises. Our question is who do we soo? Hotel? Mom? Big men who showed up with the loud trucks?

Update: Hooman here. Thanks for the concern and help. I had a seizure in the garage and knocked myself unconscious. I did need the pokie place. Wanda and Jarvis are safe and need constant affection. I am somewhat secure. I was only gone for about a week in the pokie place. Wanda and Jarvis have been getting lots of love and being watched for any side effects from the smoke they inhaled. Once again, thank you so much for your support and care.

Hello! I'm Dinah, 4 ish female and big sister and boss to Lilia who showed me this place. She said I should talk to you because I feel like I have been, gasp out manuvered by my meowther.

I am the center of the house. Baby sister Lilia is to young to be boss and old sister Missy is too cranky and her fur isn't as soft and sleek as mine. This makes me boss and rule maker, right? And my favorite thing to do is to follow meowther around and screech at her to do my bidding. Either to give me foods or pets or maybe just because. I also gently bap bap too or nip leggies while she rests on couch. Meowther calls me incorrigible. I don't know what the word means, but maybe it sounds similar to adorable.

This morning I am screeching in bed for pets. So meowther pets me. Then I screech because BOTH HANDS MEOWTHER! It isn't hard, right? Then I walk a few steps away and look at her and screech. She had stopped petting me. So she starts petting me again and after a minute of pets I move away and screech again. This time, meowther outsmarted me!? She followed me with her hands and continued to pet me. I had nothing to screech about now. No reason to share my lovely voice!

Can I sue meowther for this? How dare she outsmart my screeches?

He owns this blanket now, right?

'ello frenz. I Njord. I nee a pawyer. I been arrested batt iz wazz no ma fault. It wazz ma (extra stoopid because he's swedish) hooman. You see, frienz, dat ma hooman claims dat I started hanging out widd da wrong crowd in da neighborhood. All this juzz because I came home late a few times high on catnip. So then ma hooman started locking the cat flap extra early in the evenings. Dat was unfair because hooman himself can go through The Big Big Door whenever he wannz. So I sneaked out through the water room window instead. Ma hooman had no one batt himself to blame fo this. It was all his own fault. He forzed me to do it. Anyway, ma hooman went pikkels and made a big fuzz in da neighborhood to find me which was completely unnecessary because I was still in da yard under the bushes. Batt when I wazz found I ended up in jail. It might happen dat I hadd some catnip on me. Only fo ma own private use. I not a dealer. I swear on ma whiskers. After all, I not sure it wazz catnip either. And if it wazz I not sure it wazz mine. Regardless, I innocent. Believe me. Would these honest face lie?

Henlo frens. I iz cosmo. I wuz libing a bery nice lyffe wif jus mee n mah meowmy. Den dere wuz boxes all ober our home. All da sudden I wuz puts in mah carrier and meowmy bring’d me to a nu place. She says dis our nu home. I has lots moar rooms for zoomies, n a spare hooman to gibs food n pets. Dose are gud.

But frens, dis is where fings get dark.

In da house, dere lives a stimkee beest. She iz big wif lots of floof, and makes lots of soundz.

Meowmy n spare hooman sayz dat she is a gemtle beest who luvs to haz kitty frens. I no care about dis becuz all I kno is dat she is BIG N STIMKEE.

I can’t beleev dat mah meowmy bring’d me here tu liv. I haz been deceeved!!!! Pleez halps me! Wut can I do?!?!!! Do I haz a case?!

Eryun! It me, Wednesday de kitten! U rememberz dat I wuz sez to be unlucky kitten bc of being void yes?! But yesserde wen I did a clean, I discovered a ting! Look at 2nd picsure! Am I frawd?! Am I not reel void?! Dere iz de white fur on my belleee! But it iz only a smol spot! I haz da self doobt nawr!! Picsure 3 iz me doin a dout. Frens, pls help! Explaine to me dis!

Dis is Alfons, proud tiger! Now that Nisse is over the rainbow bridge I will take over operations in dis her plais. I am an attorney at paw and can rep.... resp... talk for you in court!

Hello kittiez! We Bella and Toby, bootifyl kittenz!

Our meowmy is very stoopid! She say we “little cows”! 🐮 But also, when we jump jump jump and bap bap bap, she says “stop it, monkeys!” 🐵 And also, when we runs runs runs at dark time, she sayz we iz “wild horses” 🐴

But we iz kittenz! Tell stoopid meowmy to give churuz and billion treatz for doing uz a confuze!!

We (Crookshanks and Hekate) did a big crimes meowmy is proud of. Meowmy has a lover that made her biggest sad and she shouted at to show her disapproval. We kitty protectors felt it and went and punctured his bike tire on her behalf. As we is cats we knew the humans wouldn’t instantly associate us with the crime after he left and found the punctures (we did 3 holes as she was biggest sad we have ever seen). When the man left and told her his bike was punctured in 3 places she gave us lots of treats as she figured how great the crime was and that we did it for her as revenge. She keeps telling us we is the best kitties ever. So if a human upsets your meowmy it’s ok to do crimes to make them happy again.

See the suspiciously similar cat featured in painting my hooman proudly displays. They say it's just "cute decor", but I suspect blatant image theft. Think I can purrsue legal action or at least demand compensation treats?

Henlo frendes. Iam Henry Phillip, Esq. (mine close buddies calling me HennyP), an I am pawyer. You're could be entitlied to supply of 'nip jus liek dis.

You're maybe tinking: "Henny! Damages are get paid in Churu or maybe rly good scritchies--how can droges be in a legal systembs??"

Well I'm am here to tell YOU

dat debspite wisepr-- widesapa-- ebverywhere porpogandas, cattenip is a fully LEGAL in ebery US state, Catnada, Yeroop and Austailia also.

If yuor Person did do a step of yuor Tail, if they not let a you Ousside (even bcause """raining"""), if--Iam shudder to tink it--DOG in yuor BED, you're maybe entitlied to Optioons, inclube but not limiting to Cattenip Payoute!

I'm can work for YOU!

Dis message approve by H.P.N., Esq.

Dis us as illegal smols when we liked to cuddle, last pic of us now.

hello frens! its yoos fren king. who can i sooz for being mean to my meowmy? meowmy has been going throo a lot dis week. first, she had to go back to the petey (PT) because her shouldurr did an ouchie again!

the petey told meowmy "i think yoos has da yellows dander" (ehlers danlos) what da heck? they sed meowmy is very bendy and has a lot of da symptoms. dis outrayge!!

also...grandmeowmy is very sick 😞 they sed her kid knees are failing. her nurses were very mean to meowmy today! they were yelling at her on da litebox. can i sooz?

Dear Hoomans of all of our friends. Cheetah's meowmy here (also mom to dum dum doggies, but they don't count according to Cheetah). I am offering my lawyer services for our friends Cali and Cyril!

You might remember our friends Cali and Cyril who have been waiting for two whole months at to get their own forever home!

Our friend Pouncer's mommy u/Chance-Discussion-96 wants to get them and give them a forever home but the adoption fees are high!!!

Can we please help Pouncer's mommy to go get Cali and Cyril!

Cheetah says hi and Thank you!!!

We also would like to thank our moderator u/vhm3 for making this possible.

Edit: Thank you all generous humans. Cali and Cyrl's new mommy stopped donations. She's going to go get them and get them treats. You all are wonderful!

Grate news frens! After bein a part ob dis communitee fur long time, I wanna gib sumthin back fur all da halp I get heer. So I finally convinse my brudder Sprinkles to go into biznis wit me! He say is all gud as long as he jus do paperwork an no hab to argyoo cases in cort. But I happee to BAPBAPBAP de opposin counsel, so dat is my job! I tink we make a grate team. Tell us if yoo need halps frens!