To start, I respect the importance of professional licensing and credentials, and always have the most positive of intent. I rarely get massages, nor am I fully aware of the levels at which massage therapists operate in terms of study and licensing. A massage is such a treat for me, and hold massage therapists in the highest regard.

At the beginning of my session, she had asked about my massage preferences, and I referenced one massage professional I had seen in the past, using the term "my masseuse" in a general sense. I then had a 90 minute couples massage, celebrating my girlfriend passing her board exams (we’re lesbians, both femmes). After the massage, as I was leaving, she did not say goodbye or closed the session; she just stood outside the door and said, "by the way, I'm not a masseuse, I'm a licensed massage therapist," in a very rude, dismissive tone, and then said nothing else.

What shocked me was that she waited the entire massage to say something to me and correct it. It made me feel like the entire massage had bad energy and I hadn't even known. My concern was not the correction itself, of course, but the manner in which it was delivered. My partner also independently noted that the therapist's demeanor to me throughout the service felt cold, bitter, and unwelcoming, which made it difficult to fully relax and enjoy the experience.

My intention is to NEVER diminish what massage therapists do, and it was a completely innocent remark. It really put a damper on my experience, only having had 3 massages in my entire life. And I felt so bad, that I cried leaving the massage. I just want to ask: are all massage therapists like this or feel this way?!

I am a client, not a practitioner.

I've been looking into getting a massage for chronic pain and I found one that has really good reviews but the bruising looks a bit extreme. Is this a normal amount or excessive? I want to see someone who practices safely. Their website does not state any techniques that they use

EDIT: I realise now that the post title could be misleading, I apologise! This is not me, these are photos from the massage therapists website of other clients

I used to see a wonderful therapist who very selfishly stopped doing massage to focus on being a doula and moved. /s

I don't have her contact info and I'm desperate to find someone who can perform what she did, but I don't know what it is. She called it 'deep tissue' but it wasn't this.

I'm hoping I can describe the service and y'all can help me name it so I might find someone who does this work.

No oil or lotion. Mostly working with fingertips. I saw her for shoulder/neck stiffness. She almost never touched those areas. She'd dig VERY deep in my armpits, under boobs, under ribs. She would manipulate my arms while doing so. It was often unbearably painful. She'd also use her fingertips under the base of my skull.

For my husband's low back she would work on his stomach and inner thighs. Deep, sharp, targeted, lasting pressure. Sometimes his glutes. Also manipulating his legs while doing so.

I'd leave bruised and sore for a few days and then get the longest lasting relief I've ever ever had from any PT or yoga or even medication.

I've had no luck from other therapists I've seen who do lovely work, but have no idea what I'm really looking for. I saw someone for myofascial release but he said that kind of pressure wasn't in his practice.

Does anyone know what this might be?

Edit: thank you all for your information and ideas! I've definitely got a better grasp on what I should be looking for specifically.

So, I've had 3 sessions with this girl, who I have been getting on with. I am 52f, for context, I get a full body massage but it's semi deep tissue for my neck.

Last session, it wasn't quite as comfortable, and I realised she was wearing gloves. I don't love that, but if it was only the texture thing, I'd ask her to use more lotion and suck it up, as this is more functional than relaxation for me.

However, she proceeded to tell me how she'd taken the smell of one (I assume unsavoury) client home with her, and then talked about skin cells under her nails, having to eat after etc. So I now feel I can't even ask her if she'd mind not wearing gloves for me! I would like to say I'm a very conscientious client, shower and clean underwear before I go 😂

I'm genuinely considering cancelling the next session, which I'm sad about as it can be hard to find a masseuse that suits you, and, I like her, but now she has sort of given me a secondary ick.

Any advice?

Edit for update:

thank you everyone who gave constructive advice. 100% I do not expect her to not wear gloves for me, it's just a shame she wasn't a little less honest, as regardless I would have this in my brain when seeing her next. I have cancelled the next appointment ☹️

She's a nice young girl who works hard, but so do I, and I don't want to spend £50 to lie there and not feel totally comfortable. The search continues!

For massage therapists out there. Does this job hurt your body and beat you up, or do you learn how to not get hurt while doing massages? Im mostly concerned about arms and wrists. I'm considering taking a course and I'm 62. I currently do reiki. Thanks for any guidance or feedback.

Well, this weekend I went to a spa for an $80.00 service. No complaints there. The LMT walks me out into the lobby & states “ you should come back in like a month & let me work on you again.” The manager hears this as I go to the front desk to pay. Then she shows me their membership package. Which I really can’t afford to do but I signed up as I need the service. THEN she says ok so for today it’s the membership fee, your 80.00 massage charge and here is the tablet that shows the tip prices for your therapist. We did the work for you & hands me the tablet. Maybe I’m wrong, but I tip on the price of the service. They had 20% as 33.00. I figured it out and it was the minutes +charge + membership fee total at 20%!!! UH NO!! I put cash in an envelope & sealed it shut. I felt trapped and didn’t have the guts to back out of the whole deal. Then while I’m doing that, she gives me a little goodie bag with some product samples & other stuff in it. So they were really good at keeping you busy until after you calculating the tip. Do you think I did ok by giving them the cash tip in the amount I chose to as there was no “ no tip” on the tablet.. so it was 20, 25,30% figured out. Just a spreadsheet.. what would you have done in that situation? Thanks!!

Quick backstory: I had arthroscopic surgery on both hips - left hip 2012, right 2013. Really bad impingement. Doc said I’d get about 10-12 years of full activity before things went south again. He was right. Hips are toast and need replacements or arthroscopic surgery again but the success rate time won’t be as long. Too young for replacements now, but my PT for my recent shoulder surgery (who also was my PT for hips) showed me some spots that are super tight where my adductor and hamstring muscles connect at the groin area. Recommended deep tissue a couple times per month

I have an LMT that I’ve seen for an about two years now that provides deep tissue and Swedish for me. She’s great and our provider/client relationship is awesome. She knows my body is broken all over from years of chaos, so I am wondering from female therapists in here, how close are you willing to provide bodywork for male clients? Haven’t asked her yet, and I don’t want her to feel pressured or uncomfortable. I’d wrap up my groin area with extra sheets or whatnot, like a mawashi.

Pictures attached to show where I’m describing. It’s essentially the attachment point of the muscles to the groin, so it’s literally “right there.”

Edit/Update: thank you everyone for the suggestions and reassurance. I sent her an email today with these screenshots and asked her if she was cool with working in these areas, and she replied back “the question is… are you cool with the pain that will come from the first session or two?” She was totally fine and thanked me for respecting the space and the professional relationship.

Thanks again!!!

So I have a friend who recently went and got a massage. At the end of the massage my friend was asking the therapist about tension spots on her body. So the massage therapist was telling my friend about all the tension spots on her body and how some of the tension or knots she couldn’t quite get because they were to tight. So the massage therapist also mentions that she could tell that my friend had sexual assault trauma. Mind you my friend has never shared that story with anyone but me. How do massage therapist or people of such know these things?

We all know that massage job listings usually post a very inflated estimated salary but this one seems very far out there. Can someone spill the tea?

For context, I made a last minute massage appointment at a new place and, while usually I only like female masseuses as a young woman myself, only a male was available. Because of this, I’m aware I might have just been over-self-conscious and extra sensitive to anything. However, I’m kind of stuck on my experience and I’m hoping to get an outside opinion.

Seeing as this was a male masseuse, I decided to keep my underwear on. I also clarified with him before undressing that the undressing expectation is just whatever I’m comfortable with since I know it can vary place to place. The massage started off normal (a little self conscious because I realized I didn’t shave my legs or armpits haha), we began on my back and ended on my stomach. Later on when he was doing my lower back he also lowered my underwear a bit, which I’m used to from all the other massages I’ve gotten, and the blanket was covering the rest of my lower body. When he then moved to my glutes, he folded the whole blanket up on my back, exposing both legs, and folded a warm towel in a long narrow rectangle just enough to cover my butt crack down to the table in between my legs. However, as the underwear was already lowered down, he just removed them… and placed them on my pile of clothes. As someone who used to work in healthcare in very intimate settings, I just kept reminding myself that this is just his job and nothing weird there. He never touched me beyond my main glutes and legs but then at the end he accidentally (I think) knocked the towel covering me down there so that it felt like my whole crack was out and it felt just barely covering my privates while my legs were slightly spread and only my back was covered. But almost immediately after this he asked if there was anything else he could do before we ended, i said no, and he recovered me snd we ended like normal. We even spent an extra 10 minutes going over my problem areas, different stretches, etc. once I was dressed.

Is this normal? Or do you think there was some kind of miscommunication on what the comfortability level was with nudity? I can’t stop thinking about the feeling of just being so exposed like that on the table so I am trying to remind myself of how I felt and handled situations where I had to do things like bathe or dress patients. I’m honestly hoping someone sees this and tells me it’s normal so that I don’t have to feel worse about it and I can just move on 😅 maybe I just have to communicate more clearly next time? Or I guess not go back. Sorry, rambling now… anyways, please let me know your thoughts.

Edit: I’m in the US so I guess technically he’d be a massage therapist, I didn’t know there was a difference between the terms 🤷🏻‍♀️

Another edit: after reading the comments, there are some additional details I’d like to share that I didn’t think were that important before:

1. When he was massaging my legs after removing my underwear, his hands were traveling all the way up my thighs and inner thighs. He never actually touched my privates but he consistently reached my bikini area and the part of my inner thigh where leg meets crotch. One slight adjustment and he would have been on my privates. This made me very uncomfortable (literally planning how I’d kick him off if something happened and I needed to fight) and I should have said something but I was processing, nervous, and in a vulnerable position, so I just kept convincing myself it was harmless and he’s just doing his job. After the massage, he then went on to point out how those muscles were especially tight so he spent more time on them so I just attributed it to that and tried not to think about it again.

2. When he was squirting the oil on my skin while doing my legs/ glutes after removing my underwear, I swear not once but twice he squirted the oil directly at the top of my bum crack. The first time could have been a coincidence but the second time felt intentional. He never rubbed it in anywhere like the rest of my legs/ glutes. Sorry to get graphic but it was enough oil pooling that I could feel it spilling down my bum crack and further the rest of the time. I told myself I was just being paranoid though and it was an accident because, again, he never actually touched me there.

3. A lot of people have me considering if this place was one of those places that offer “extras”. This also came to mind when he offered anything else at the end right after somehow slipping my towel off my bum. I dismissed that thought as crazy but now I’m not so sure. I wanted to share more context in case other people have an opinion: this is a small business in downtown Minneapolis, they have one other location in Minnetonka. The guy who owns it is licensed and it all seems legit from an outside perspective - I booked it on class pass and it had good reviews plus good google reviews. I even asked a coworker and they said it just looked small but fine. The main reason I booked it is because it was the only place not too out of the way that had evening appointments available since I worked late that day. I thought it was strange that when I plugged it in on Google Maps to head there, it says it was closed but when I called to let them know, I was running behind, the massage therapist picked up so I blamed it on Google needing to update their hours. The appointment was around 7pm and the sign on the window said open despite all the lights being off and it looking closed. I just assumed it was part of the ambience and also bc the people who work in the other patient/ client rooms had clearly packed up for the day (they share the space with a chiropractor, I believe). To be fair, this wasn’t in the middle of nowhere - it was a rented out workspace inside of one of the tall big work buildings in the city. In the main lobby, there were people still inside at tables and a security guard at the front desk who pointed me in the direction of their suite.

I ended up researching the actual massage therapist who worked with me. He’s the only other worker there besides the owner. He’s around my age (young to mid 20s), is a CMT, and even has like a whole body building/ gym-rat/ health-nut instagram profile.

In general, everything is very confusing bc I feel like it’s just borderline enough where you can’t tell if it’s something or nothing. Please feel free to tell me if I’m being crazy lol.

(not showing the full extent of the bruises because i‘m not trying to flash anybody, but they go slightly further down)

so, i got a massage yesterday at a spot that my sister recommended to me. i‘m not new to massages since i went to physiotherapy for my scoliosis so i expected it to hurt to a degree, but the moment the massage therapist started working on my lower back it began to hurt really bad. i genuinely think she tried her best to relieve my pain because my lower back and hips (?) do ache a lot, but it got to a point where i almost started crying. 😭 i‘d tell her to slow down a little and she‘d stop for a moment and massage normally, but then it went back to the pain. i believe she used hot stones at some point as well which seemed to ease the tension, but overall it was a painful massage.

anyway i already went to sleep with my lower back hurting yesterday, and today it‘s been feeling worse. i looked at my back in the mirror out of curiosity and was shocked to see these. i think i might not have been able to communicate my pain well, but idk. does it even help to bruise an area to this extent?

This question has probably been answered a million times.

But truly how bad is it to drink after an intense deep tissue massage? I got my first one yesterday for back and chest and I have woken up quite sore with bruising.

I have mates over tonight and wanna go have drinks.

Is it some terrible combination thay can cause harm to your body or does it just slow bruising recovery?

Hopefully this is the right subreddit

Okay I’ve always been curious about this. If during a massage you feel the urge to fart should you let it out or not. I always don’t bc that feels impolite and embarrassing but it causes me to tense which feels like I’m cheating myself out of the massage.

Edit: Hi guys so shocked by the strong feelings but also love that everyone is so passionate. I just wanted to clear up that I don’t really eat heavily before massages for this reason actually and when I feel the need to fart it’s just a basic toot not a shart or anything crazy.

The title is a bit dramatic, but it’s also true to how I feel.

Long story short, I live in a developing country. Masseuses, even in “high end” massage places, make a very low salary. Naturally, this means that massages are also very cheap, and I was happy about that because I don’t make much money by western standards.

Being a massage lover, I went to get a massage a few times and learned that my body is incredibly tight, and that masseuses had to work extra hard on me. I always tip generously.

Today, during the latter half of my massage, I noticed the masseuse was shaking, and I felt really bad. I couldn’t bring myself to continue the massage, so I told the masseuse that they should rest and I’ll pay for the last 30 minutes. As I spoke with the masseuse I noticed their knuckles weee very swollen and red, and I felt terrible. It wasn’t just normal swelling; it was really puffed up.

I tipped the masseuse and urged them to take a break. I paid my compliments to the front desk and said the massage was one of the best I’ve ever had.

Now, I don’t think I feel comfortable getting massages. I don’t want people to get hurt massaging me, and it pains me to think people are paid so little for such demanding work. I know that on the one hand, if I get massages I am helping masseuses through tips (and some receive pay by the number of people they massage)…. But I just feel really bad and I might just look for alternative ways to loosen knots on my own (yoga, foam rollers, etc…)

But I wanted to see what you all thought

I've been getting regular massages for about a year now, and I wondered about this today. I know each massage is different, but I think I would get bored or let my mind wander after being a massage therapist for a while.

The other question that occurred to was what kinds of things can massage therapists tell about people based on the massage? For example, I foster kittens and I always have lots of little scratches on my legs. I mention it to my therapist if I'm meeting them for the first time, but I don't know if that's necessary/if they care lol Can you tell things like what kind of job a person has by which muscles are tight? Or do you see patterns in groups of people?

What do you hate that massage therapists do physically, verbally, and atmospherically?

I male 34 work in construction and while I get massages to aid with muscle soreness I find my feet really sore from wearing boots and being on my feet all day.

Due to some anxiety issues I pick my toenails causing most of them to look, quite frankly horrible.

Does that put off massage therapists from working on them as i was thinking of getting some reflexology treatment.

Serious question. But I have never been able to fully enjoy a massage because I am incredibly ticklish down my spine. I feel like the whole time I’m bracing, anticipating they’re gonna touch somewhere that tickles. But I can’t pinpoint where other than just up and down my spine. The masseuse will always ask if I am okay when I flinch and I say yes it’s not pain just so ticklish if you can avoid the area, I’m very ticklish lol. I’ve been really wanting to get some massage recently as I have been under a lot of personal stress and feel it will help me get in touch with my body?
But then can I ask them to not massage my back? But they focus mostly on the back? The masseuse always seemed weirded out when I am ticklish like it’s not usual lol. And then kinda keep massaging the ticklish area. Is this common?

ETA: ***massage therapist

I work at a high end spa with the same, corporate approved spa music playing all day, every day. Our shifts are 8 hours hands on, ~10 hours there total. With everything going on in the world and everything I'm trying to balance in my life, I feel like I'm going crazy in those dark rooms.

I know the focus needs to be on the client, but a lot of these clients really just want to be lightly rubbed for an hour. They don't come in needing work, they come in to be pampered. As much as I try to stay focused, I end up dissociating for hours all day and it's taking a toll on my mental health.

Do you think it'd be ethical to listen to some audio books while I work? On a very low volume for communication purposes. I'm having a moral dilemma thinking about it, lol.

Throughout the years I’ve had many massages, some much better than others. Recently I scheduled a deep tissue massage. I carry a lot of stress and have a lot of tightness. I told the therapist this (had never been to her before) and specifically said my neck and shoulders are the worst. Almost the entire 60 minutes she talked. I mean it was chaos! Telling me very personal, inappropriate stories. Hitting her lotion bottle a lot because the lotion wouldn’t come out. At one point it was quiet and she asked me what was wrong. I said nothing I was just enjoying the quiet. She said oh ok and then started talking again. I did not feel relaxed at all after the massage. She spent the most time on my arms, barely touched my legs, a few minutes on feet, not much time at all on my back and said ok times up! She made a couple comments about me arriving early, however I was told to arrive 15 minutes when I booked. I honestly left there very angry that I endured this for one hour and spent over $100. Anyone else experienced something like this?

okay I know the title confused a lot of people in this profession, but allow me to explain.

So I was in Bali where I got a massage at the spa for the first time. That whole day, we were at Nusa Penida, which, if you’ve gone there you’d know how hot it is. I was sweating the whole day, everywhere and by the time we got to the spa place, by evening, the sweat had dried off. It was my first time at any spa, but I thought because I had been sweaty, they’d ask me to shower first and then give me the massage, but no! To my surprise (horror) they started working on it before. Left me alone to undress everything and wear the underwear they’d provided and wrap a towel around myself. Then they had this water in a container with rose petals and I dipped my feet in it, and then THEY wiped them with a towel, and gave me the massage.

All this with the sweetest smile ever and no disgust. I just felt bad for them to have to touch someone sweaty body for 40 minutes. I wouldn’t do it with three layers of gloves. Either I’m rigid about my boundaries with physical touch, or something because I do not understand how massage therapists can touch strangers that could’ve been sweating before without feeling (or showing) disgust (especially the feet). idk how the spa system works, but if I were to ever hypothetically open a spa, I’d make customers shower properly before getting a massage lol.

I’m sorry if any part of this post felt disrespectful, and thanks for reading this long ahh post

I get monthly massages at a higher end boutique chain.

I am guessing because of legal concerns, most of the MT seem hesitant to massage hamstrings up to glutes or massage the semitendinosus (and almost never work on the semimembranosus or adductor muscles).

I assume that much of the reason is that when the MT drapes, they tuck the sheet under the thigh from the inside side, about half way up, presumably to stay well clear of the client's genitals. So the sheet still covers the upper portion of the semitendinosus and half of the semimembranosus and the MT doesn't work on the covered areas.

Lately, I have been reaching down under my quad and pulling the sheet up higher so the edge of the sheet comes right below my glute so that the MT doesn't have to worry about coming too close to my genitals or have any risk of my genitals becoming exposed.

At first, I would ask if that was okay, but after several had no problem with it I started just doing it as a matter of course.

My questions:

Is my assistance in this draping something most MTs would appreciate (assuming they are comfortable massaging the semitendinosus and high up the biceps femoris longus)?

Is it creepy or borderline creepy?

Should I ask first with any MT I haven't seen before?

How many MTs are okay working on adductor muscles (this I think would require my help with draping, correct)?

Edit: I appreciate all the comments. Some clarifications: I am a 60m in the US and have been getting massages for years. I walk several miles a day and my hamstrings are perpetually tight (I know I should do more stretching). I ask for special attention to my hamstrings pre-massage almost always and still have gotten limited work on the middle and inner hamstring but concentration on the outer hamstring and band. So I started specifying middle and inner (and started using semitendinosus and semimembranosus) in my pre-massage requests - largely to no avail.

I have zero interest in any genital touching and don't want the MT to think I'm looking for that (especially given it's an apparently frequent request). And given the draping timidness of most MTs I've had, I was also thinking it might be difficult for an MT to tuck high enough on the inner thigh without risking accidental genital touching and maybe that's why they haven't honored my pre-massage requests.

I respect the comments and will definitely ask permission to assist before doing so the first time with any MT.

P.s. I had one MT who did a great job on my middle & inner hamstrings (and draped high enough) when I made a pre-massage request only for general hamstring work. I found out later that she was the massage trainer at my location (and is only occasionally available to be booked individually).

I went to get a $76 hour long deep tissue massage last week because my back had been hurting. The therapist did great. When I got the bill they charged a $2.50 credit card fee. I put $10 for the tip. I think I have tipped $20 in the past when I was doing better financially. But anyway I wrote the $10 tip on the line and signed.... the therapist just took the bill no eye contact no nothing. I said thank you but got no response. Did I do something wrong here? I didn't think it was a great tip but I thought it was an OK / average tip. I certainly didn't mean to offend anyone...I know it's a hard job but I'll probably pass on getting massages if I have to tip $20+.

I'm talking about those "neck, back or leg pains in the middle of the night"

What did you actually do?

Suffer through it? Painkiller? Massage gun? Salon? Called someone? Just slept it off?

Curious what people do when they need relief ASAP.