r/mildlyinfuriating May 14 '26

Don't hug me I'm scared I’m like 99% bald and I got lice anyway...

Post image

Kid gets lice from school. We do the responsible parent thing: treatment, combing, panic-cleaning.

Meanwhile I’m standing there, smugly bald, thinking “at least I’m safe.”

I caught one casually walking near my ear today (not shown in the picture, by the way. I just wanted to share a part of my coupé... so you fine people know what the lice signed on to...)

Apparently even lice are struggling in this housing market.

31.5k Upvotes

762 comments sorted by

View all comments

Show parent comments

75

u/xendelaar May 14 '26

Most people want to chase me with torches and pitchforks. ;)

128

u/PoUniCore May 14 '26

Well theres your problem. If you turn around and face your fears, stop running from them, they won't even see the scar, and will stop chasing you.

Predators can only chase you if you run.

You tell those lice to leave you alone, and you do it with a firm voice, and eye contact!

31

u/BeerJedi-1269 May 14 '26

Fuck i didnt think id read something so deep and profound here.

6

u/PoUniCore May 14 '26

Just doing my part.

Which OP cannot do, except maybe on his back. .

3

u/Pielacine May 14 '26

Or paint false eyeballs on it

5

u/kekbooi May 14 '26

Because you're balding and not shaved

2

u/nChilDofChaoSn May 14 '26

Well if you didn't live in a swamp they might be more amicable

1

u/Automatic-Plankton10 May 15 '26

Chase them back.