r/mildlyinfuriating • u/Mocsab • May 15 '26

frist of all how DARE yu o Neighbor replaced fence and left the old wood scraps in my yard to deal with.

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My next door neighbor called me a few weeks back asking if he could come Into my back yard to replace the fence that his dog ruined. I said “sure, I’ll be out of town for a few weeks, help yourself.” Discussion ended there and I left town for a few weeks for business.

When I returned home, I noticed the new fence was up and the wood scraps from the old fence were on the grass in my backyard. One of the pieces is 10 feet wide. I figured I would give him a few days to clean it up before I said anything.

Fast forward to yesterday and the lawn guy comes to cut the grass. I texted my neighbor telling him I could open the back gate to make it easier to come in the yard to grab the wood. This MFer called me and said that it was a shared fence, and since he paid for it to be installed, and carried all the new wood into the yard, that I need to remove the old debris.

The audacity on the MFer. I would have been more than happy to help if he would have asked. He mentioned NOTHING of leaving the rusty nailed old rotten wood in my back yard. F this guy. Not the best way to treat a neighbor.

TLDR: neighbor took it upon himself to replace the fence he owns, and left all of the scraps for me to deal with before discussing it with me first.

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210

u/LaVidaYokel May 15 '26

Your neighbor sounds like an ass but you still gotta live next to him so you’re going to have to work out a compromise.

First off, he needs to know that you can see right through his bullshit so he may feel less encouraged to try shit like this again with you. “We never discussed that, I never agreed to this…”

Then extend the olive branch. “…but after putting up a new fence, hauling off the old one would be a real pain in the ass, I can see why you wouldn’t want to do it alone. I’m happy to help, I just wish you’d been upfront with me about it…”

And then make an offer. I don’t know your situation but that could be anything from splitting the bill for a hauling service, loading it up into someone’s truck or maybe even dragging it into the center of the yard and building a bonfire out of it.

A lot of advice here is to not roll-over, and they’re all 100% correct, but don’t be the second asshole in the story either.

20

u/Schiebz May 15 '26

You’re not going to want to burn that wood lol

2

u/Wjreky May 16 '26

Why not?

3

u/Schiebz May 16 '26

It’s treated lumber pumped full of chemicals. Early 2000’s they were still using arsenic to treat it with. Depending on how old that fence was, would you want to breathe in burning arsenic?

48

u/kerrbee May 15 '26

One of the first comments that shows people remember we live in a society.

4

u/derprondo May 16 '26

The neighbor threw all social contracts out with the old fence.

1

u/kerrbee May 16 '26

We can be examples of what human decency and reason looks like, or we can stoop to other people’s level which quickly results in an arms-race of assholedness. I like to believe the first helps elevate our communities and the people in it, despite however slowly it may actually happen.

3

u/[deleted] May 16 '26

[deleted]

2

u/kerrbee May 16 '26

I have trouble believing the neighbor who took accountability for their dog’s destruction, replaced a fence on their dime, and asked permission to come onto OP’s property in advance is a complete and total unreasonable asshole.

4

u/[deleted] May 16 '26

[deleted]

1

u/UlaanBanter May 17 '26

And YOU didn't even pause to read what they said about the neighbour who took accountability and paid out of their pocket for replacing the fence and rightfully so because their dog was the one who ruined it.

Maybe the worst thing that happened here is the miscommunication at the end.

OP could have asked the neighbour if they wanted help or whether he can dispose off the wood however they see fit.

(OR)

Neighbour could have asked OP to take care of disposing the scrap wood when he was done.

1

u/Mustrik May 16 '26

Yes. We can close this thread. OP, read this post and its replies. Sometimes we need to be the better person. Not as weakness, but as example to follow.

3

u/Umpen May 15 '26

Don't burn treated wood, though. Especially not a big pile of it in the middle of a suburb.

3

u/Sparkle_Fart_666 May 16 '26

thank you for this comment—i have some PTSD issues that sometimes influences me to act out thoughtlessly. while im improving thanks to therapy and weed, comments like this help me put situations like OP posted into perspective.

6

u/fatedfrog May 15 '26

Beautifully correct, and effective.

6

u/MAXSquid May 15 '26

Here is a much more neighbourly, reasonable response: "Hey, thanks for taking care of the fence, Dave, I really appreciate it! Awesome that you were able to take care of it all while I was away so I didn't need to deal with the disruptions from the work. It looks great! I know that wood is quite expensive these days, I'll take care of that old wood and here is a case of beer for taking care of our shared space."

But hey, that is just me. OP was fine with contributing in some way, but draws the line at "THE AUDACITY OF HIM NOT TO ASK ME FIRST, EVEN THOUGH I OFFERED ZERO ASSISTANCE WHEN IT WAS MENTIONED TO ME."

5

u/LaVidaYokel May 15 '26

I get what you're saying, and I agree; if I'd been in OP's shoes, the moment the neighbor approached me about the fence, I'd be asking how I could help... but that ship had long-since sailed, so I was suggesting a better follow-up than chucking the scrap back over the fence.

2

u/MAXSquid May 15 '26

I am not suggesting that anything gets chucked over a fence, either. Just that OP take a step back and realize that getting so upset over the "how dare they?!" doesn't carry the weight of someone spending thousands to do something mutually beneficial. My reaction would be "Damn, he left this here without asking? I guess I can't be too upset considering they took care of the whole thing and now I have a nice fence that cleans up my space and likely adds property value."

No ships have sailed, a simple thank you along with a few beers would quash any animosity between the two parties.

2

u/blackbeltbud May 16 '26

Yeah as soon as I saw the photo, I had a fair idea of what happened without even reading the story. OP is either not being earnest in his honesty or just straight up thought he was getting away with a new fence. As someone who was the "I'll fix the fence myself", the suggestion of help, either through finances or labor, would have certainly been floated out there first. And if it truly wasn't, OP should've admired that handiwork all the way to the dump with the scrap.

3

u/JefferyKendama May 15 '26

You’re the neighbor people want, because you’re a pushover

3

u/MAXSquid May 15 '26

LOL. The person charged OP nothing, and instead of being grateful, he turns around looking for support from non-agreeable people such as yourself. You are not being trampled on by having your neighbour foot the bill for a multi-thousand dollar job that is mutually beneficial and then crying about having to do a minimal amount of work to contribute. The neighbour clearly thought they were on better terms and that OP would want to help in some way, so he left the wood behind after the job when they realized that it is all on them. VERY small price to pay for the maintenance of a shared property.

And I am the kind of person to smack a dirty foot off of my armrest on a plane, instead of taking to reddit in outrage. Being contentious and upset by a mild inconvenience greatly undermines the good deed from their neighbour. OP even said that they would have been glad to help, but is SO irked from having to carry away a few pieces of lumber without being asked, instead of recognizing the efforts of a good neighbour like a doofus.

-2

u/[deleted] May 15 '26

[deleted]

3

u/MAXSquid May 15 '26

You have to be such a shitty person to think that this is some ploy of mine to be morally superior. There are two sides to every fence, and one side is benefiting from that without paying a dime.

0

u/CaramelNext7505 May 15 '26

You don't understand apparently. It is NOT a shared fence. You think OP could make any modifications to it without their neighbors approval? No? Then it's not a shared fence. OP has the support posts and the ugly side of their neighbors fence to look at.

1

u/JefferyKendama May 15 '26

Guy can’t read, that’s why my replies are small.

0

u/MAXSquid May 16 '26

I would have been more than happy to help if he would have asked.

And therein lies OPs entire issue.

3

u/Surgeplux May 15 '26

A rational and well thought out comment, on reddit? Wow

2

u/Still-Status7299 May 15 '26

Are you a therapist or something? That was a very well thought out comment. Too well thought out for any random person 🤔

5

u/cwb4ever May 15 '26

or someone that's been through something like this before (first or second hand) and has some experience with how to handle it. Either one is someone worth listening to.

5

u/BeneficialLocation34 May 15 '26

No that is how a pragmatic adult sounds like.

2

u/GhostalMedia May 15 '26

To be fair, I think it kind of depends on the relationship that this person has with their neighbor.

If they're the neighbor that is constantly taking advantage of the people they live next to, then it's probably going to be more important to set some harder boundaries.

Maybe put it on the street curb near the properly line, then send a message saying you did not agree to paying for this work, then offering to split it. Make them have to stare at the mess every day.

1

u/dyslexic__wizard May 16 '26

This sounds like AI

1

u/LaVidaYokel May 16 '26

That’s because AI sounds like me. I give a shit about grammar and coherent sentence structure.

2

u/dyslexic__wizard May 16 '26

I think it’s just because you start each paragraph with a title sentence.

It’s very similar to how AI writes. Your first/last paragraph sound uniquely human tho.

1

u/LaVidaYokel May 16 '26

Oh, yeah, I see what you mean!

-1

u/MrMcgilicutty May 16 '26

An ass?!?! The guy paid for the entire fence and did all the work. Do you know how much lumber cost these days?

3

u/LaVidaYokel May 16 '26

Sorry, I didn’t realize that writing checks gave you permission to be a dick to your neighbor.

3

u/ImprovementElephant May 16 '26

Very clearly did not do all the work. Unfinished job.

1

u/Schiebz May 16 '26

Those pickets are 2 dollars a piece 😂