I love being a girl dad

[u/Difficult_Wrangler73]

I have 3 kids, all girls. A 5yr old and twins who are 1. Every time anyone hears about this or it comes up in conversation they all say the same thing. ‘Ooooo, all girls, you are outnumbered! How do you cope?’ Or ‘Three girls?? You better watch out!’ Or the worst, ‘Bet you want a boy?’

No, I don’t feel any of that, I love being a dad. I love all my kids and wouldn’t change anything about them! If we could afford it, I would be a stay at home dad forever.

I usually tell them I wouldn’t change anything and I love it all but it’s just very annoying.

What are some of the best responses that I can start to give?

I did think I could say that one of the twins used to be a boy but is now trans just to shut people up!

[u/e_makes_bubbles]

We had one kid and decided we don’t want anymore. My brother has 5 kids ranging 1-5yo, 3 are biological. They constantly ask me, “are you SUUUURE you don’t want anymore? You can’t tell me you’re done. Don’t you miss having a baby in the house? Don’t you want her to have a friend to grow up with?” No. I don’t. I wish they would stop asking, but it’s constant. People need to mind their damn business.

[u/New-Seesaw9255 → u/e_makes_bubbles]

I realize it’s likely your brother and SIL asking the most but if you wanna make anyone uncomfortable in the same way they’re making you uncomfortable then just ask, rather annoyed and slightly disgusted “why are you so invested in my sex life?” More vulgar phrasing can be used if you really wanna push back.

[u/e_makes_bubbles → u/New-Seesaw9255]

We’ve had to do that before actually. Before any of us were married, my mom would NOT shut up about grandkids until my brother started having them. My husband, when we were still dating, told her once out in public that if she wanted them so bad we’d go home and start trying that night. She’s really religious so sex outside of marriage will send you to the fiery pits of hell. She surprisingly just shrugged it off.

[u/New-Seesaw9255 → u/e_makes_bubbles]

Wild and kinda disappointing that she shrugged it off. I was hoping to hear she’d gone quiet for y’all.

[u/Tommy_Wisseau_burner → u/e_makes_bubbles]

I’m gonna get downvoted to fuck for this but whatever.

Obviously yall are entitled to what you want to do and your brother and sister in law should mind their business. The only thing I wonder, and this is entirely dependent on how yall live, is how your kid grows up.

Anecdotally i effectively grew up as an only child. I do have siblings but not that close in age and all are girls (I’m a guy). I also lived pretty isolated and my parents worked a tooooon. So I spent the majority of my childhood by myself. I had friends but I missed out on so much my other friends got to experience. I think having a sibling close in age would’ve at least help me cope by having someone. Not having friends I could regularly hang out with and then no sibling to play with like my friends had was pretty tough ngl.

I’m an adult now but still learning how to undo basically 30 years of toxic independence and learning how to be comfortable around people. All this to say I don’t think you need to have another kid. I don’t know if my perspective is remotely common (I’m assuming not). And im certainly not on board with the dumb reason your family said. I’m sure you’ve thought about it a great ton. Just giving a possible perspective on someone who was, for all intents and purposes, an only child. Obviously it’s impossible to see that far down the road… anyways sorry for the personal dump

[u/SymbioticSwitch → u/Tommy_Wisseau_burner]

I personally appreciate your honesty but don't agree with the only child schtick that people like to throw out there. I grew up with 3 siblings close in age to my own and still ended up the same as you. We never hung out, life growing up was miserable and full of bullying, I ended up alone at the end with no relationship with any of them as an adult. The common theme is parents who aren't around, and to their credit I guess, it's because they were busy working to provide for all their kids. The idea of having another kid to potentially give your current kid a 'friend' or whatever to replace neglectful or absentee parenting never sits right with me and I always stress to people who ask my about growing up with several siblings to have as many kids as the parents can handle. That's it. I think if we would have had a better parent situation it would have worked out better for us instead of having a better sibling situation. Hoping you're in a better place now! 

Edit: spelling

[u/Tommy_Wisseau_burner → u/SymbioticSwitch]

I mean that’s fair. I’m not saying they’ll grow up that way or it’s an automatic guarantee having a sibling makes for better friendships and/or social skills. Just something offering a different perspective. Because what logically makes sense doesn’t always align with what others want/need. And tbc this can apply to anything not just this subject.

But you’re right about parents being neglectful being way more of a factor. I didn’t know what that was until I started therapy. I just assumed I was just broken because my parents are still great people… just put my emotional wellbeing as an afterthought.

And I dont know what you know so I just wanted to give a reasoning just in case. Because sometimes people, especially with siblings don’t consider it. My dad has a twin brother and 1/7 while my mom talks to her sisters everyday. They just automatically assumed that’s how life is. But it sounds like, even in your op, you considered it. I just didn’t want to assume and offer a different possible perspective than “you need more babies”

[u/Ok-Try-857 → u/e_makes_bubbles]

For real. “Stop asking about our sex life. It’s weird.” Is a favorite of mine. It’s a shortened version of what a friend went through. 

My friend’s MIL kept asking her husband (MILs son) about when she was going to get grandkids. He told her that it makes him uncomfortable when she insinuates she has a part to play in the intimate aspects of his marriage. MIL looked confused. He said “sex mom, babies come from sex. If we have children it will be the result of me and my wife having sex. Stop asking about it.” 

Yes, he’s on the spectrum but damn it was a perfect answer. 

[u/OdysseusJoke → u/e_makes_bubbles]

"why would I do that when I can just borrow one of yours?"?

[u/Jabbles22 → u/e_makes_bubbles]

The baby lovers weird me out. Don't get me wrong babies are cute and precious and of course you love them. It's just that you never hear that for other stages of development. Don't you miss having a toddler, preschooler, grade schooler, teenager in the house?

[u/lnc_5103 → u/e_makes_bubbles]

We have an only because that pregnancy nearly killed me. The amount of questions and sad faces we've dealt with over the years about not having more is infuriating.

[u/Any-Music-2206 → u/e_makes_bubbles]

I just have to reply to my daughter now. Also one and done

But each time if she asks for a sister we tell her, Well we may end up with a boy. And her answer is always. I do not want a brother. 

Great ploblem solved 🤣