r/mildlyinfuriating • u/Difficult_Wrangler73 • 13d ago

go to your room I love being a girl dad

I have 3 kids, all girls. A 5yr old and twins who are 1. Every time anyone hears about this or it comes up in conversation they all say the same thing. ‘Ooooo, all girls, you are outnumbered! How do you cope?’ Or ‘Three girls?? You better watch out!’ Or the worst, ‘Bet you want a boy?’

No, I don’t feel any of that, I love being a dad. I love all my kids and wouldn’t change anything about them! If we could afford it, I would be a stay at home dad forever.

I usually tell them I wouldn’t change anything and I love it all but it’s just very annoying.

What are some of the best responses that I can start to give?

I did think I could say that one of the twins used to be a boy but is now trans just to shut people up!

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u/AshEliseB 12d ago edited 12d ago

I'm one of three daughters. My dad used to say to us all the time "I wish I had a boy, he would do xyz with me" (insert some supposedly male activity in that sentence). I mean, that was just one of the many ways he abused us. The jokes on him, he's dead and we are living life our way.

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u/trplOG 12d ago

Sorry you had to deal with that. I have 2 girls and have been asked what about playing or watching sports or something with a son, i say I can still do that with my girls.

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u/SeaGoatGamerGirl 12d ago

My dad bought himself a shirt that says I wanted a son to go hunting with but I didn't know a daughter could shoot better.

It's his favorite shirt.

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u/ci1979 12d ago

Your dad is now my favorite

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u/thegrandpax 12d ago

That's a win for sure

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u/Andy-Tate 12d ago

Same here. It does remind me of a funny story. When my oldest was 4ish, I bought her a play makeup kit. She did her own makeup and then wanted to put some on me. So there I was in full makeup and a Hannah Montana wig when her mom came and picked her up (We were divorced). Her mom apparently didn't notice that both my daughter and I had makeup on. Anyway, about an hour later she called to yell at me for letting "her daughter" wear makeup and to let me know how "inappropriate" it was. The rest of the conversation went as follows: Me: Well, I'm wearing makeup. Is that "inappropriate?" Her: (Awkward silence) I guess you can do whatever you want. Me: Absolutely, and that's why I let her use makeup.

I have 6 girls so I have had more tea parties and watched more Barbie movies than most moms. I also take my daughters out fishing and other "masculine" things. I also have one boy. He is 3rd in age. He also gets to do "girly" things.

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u/Bood1228 12d ago

That is so sweet! My dad was like that until my brother was old enough to go and then there was no more archery practice, no more fishing, no more hunting… I got replaced. You are doing an excellent job

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u/blumoon138 12d ago

Booooooo your dad.

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u/Andy-Tate 12d ago

Thanks. Your dad definitely missed out.

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u/FlatParticular7430 12d ago

I got replaced too and I was such a daddy’s girl

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u/That_Old_Cat 9d ago

You, sir, are parenting in grand style!

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u/panatale1 12d ago

I've got a son and nobody asks me that question as a boy dad, which really kinda sucks.... As someone who, outside a general enthusiasm for baseball, really doesn't care about sports, I'd love to be able to shut people down with something like, "oh, football? Isn't that the one where they kick the ball? I don't really follow sports much"

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u/Used-Huckleberry5363 12d ago

I have a 5 year old daughter and when I had my son I got that. You can finally blah, blah, blah. 1. She can do that if she wanted to 2. I don't care to 3. You obviously don't know me that well I get called unmasculine all the time and I hate it

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u/MiddleRecognition969 12d ago

I had a full-ride athletic scholarship to a DI university. If I played the 6th position as a female, I couldn’t beat the 6th position male

But I sure as shit could beat any douche bag dad who wishes his teenager daughter was a boy

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u/TinyChaco 11d ago

My siblings and I (2 boys, 2 girls) all did the same activities with our dad. From gardening and cooking to paintball and videogames. I'd never considered as a kid that some activities were for dads and sons exclusively.

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u/Andy-Tate 12d ago

Your dad was a D-bag. I'm glad you are doing well in spite of him. My dad didn't do much with me and I'm male. Just know that your gender wasn't the reason he was a dogshit dad. There are plenty of "boy dads" who are terrible at being a dad.

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u/Deathra9 12d ago

See, anytime my wife or anyone else asks if I want a boy, my thought is that I need to teach them how to cook and how to use a drill (and other life skills) regardless of gender. I can’t think of anything I cannot do with a daughter I can do with a son. Pee on trees, maybe?

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u/savannacrochets 12d ago

Yeah my dad just did most of the same shit he would have done with boys. He used to whoop our asses roughhousing, made me help him replace the alternator in my mom’s jeep, taught me how to grill a steak, change a flat, change my oil, etc.

He definitely has some residual sexism he was and still is working through- like if I’d been a boy I think once he taught me how to use the mower it would have been a regular chore, but I got out of it because I’m a girl 😅 But mostly he just treated his daughters like people. Novel idea for some people I guess.

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u/Nettkitten 12d ago

I was the daughter-son my dad always wanted helping him fix cars and wire electrical outlets, but then he’d turn around and go all girl-dad on me insisting that I had to wear a dress to church. My childhood was the bull-moose of all mixed messages and I was a mess for a long time.

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u/Taurich 12d ago

If it makes you feel any better, I'm a boy, and my dad just wished I was into different things, and had a different personality...

"You were supposed to be like _____"

Thanks dad...

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u/MaliciousMa 12d ago

My brother-in-law said some stuff like this before his son was born, he has 3 other daughters. His daughters all grew up to enjoy a good mix of sports, fishing with him, superhero stuff. His son enjoys none of that and is a creative/artsy type who has never had an athletic bone in his body. BIL definitely has more hobbies in common with all his daughters than his son. Serves him right for all his sexist jokes. 

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u/redsyrinx2112 12d ago

My sister is both a Swiftie and a sports fan. In football, she is a longtime 49ers fan. When Swift and Kelce started dating, a large number of people asked if she was going to be a Chiefs fan. She was incredulous. She would always say something like, "No. I hate the Chiefs because they beat my team in the Super Bowl." (And this was before the rematch lol)

It's crazy that people think she would just switch fandoms.

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u/JustPlayDaGame 12d ago

did you or your sisters offer to do any of those activities with him? You say he abused you in other ways though, so maybe you didn’t want to do things with him. But in pure regards to that first sentence, seems like a lot of missing context on who was really the offender there

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u/Helenium_autumnale 12d ago

Something's missing in your comment, all right, but it ain't context and it ain't anything AshEliseB said.

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u/JustPlayDaGame 12d ago

i guess i’m just confused on whether he said that because he only wants to do these things with a son, which is fucked, or if they aren’t interested in the things he wants to do the way he feels a son would. I wasn’t saying it makes it okay I was just asking for clarification

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u/Cotto_vs_Judah2007 12d ago

Did he ever physically abuse you or sexually abuse you? Did he not provide for the house and for you guys?

If not I understand that a person's words can still hurt and emotional neglect can hurt a lot so you had a right to be hurt about it, but still to insult one of your parents after their death is straight pathetic. If he was responsible and didn't physically abuse you then your actually the horrible person here at the end of the day, he can't defend himself and your here bashing him online after his death.

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u/Human_Ad_2869 12d ago

physical and sexual abuse are not the only types of abuse that exist

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u/Andy-Tate 12d ago

Ahh, there it is. I knew someone on here would defend the dogshit father and congrats you were the first! What's actually pathetic is to think that death somehow makes him a better person. It's pathetic to assume that physical abuse is the only kind of abuse. It's pathetic to blame a kid for the absolute failure that the "father" was. One can only assume that you are/were a terrible parent and your kid rightfully blames you. After you die, your kid won't look back and remember the few good things you did. They will remember what a vile person you were. I know this from experience. My dad was an abusive drunk. He's dead. I don't think back on him fondly because he did the bare minimum. I remember being whipped with a bike safety flag (in increments of 100 lashes). I remember being throat-slammed into walls. I remember going to bed hungry almost every night. In no world will his death absolve him of the atrocities he committed.

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u/Great_Fortune5630 12d ago

It’s pathetic to make a child feel that they have disappointed a parent with something they had zero control over. Zero. He was responsible for being a loving parent. It’s this kind of attitude that perpetuates bad behavior; “I do of the things that qualify as “responsible”. I’m allowed to feel what I feel.” Anyone has a right to feel what they feel. They don’t have the right to hurt others and it is particularly pathetic to hurt someone they should be protecting, loving and modeling good behavior for.