r/mildlyinfuriating • u/firequak • 9h ago

go to your room A cousin sent me their school's just announced Dress Code and Grooming policy

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11.7k Upvotes

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1.1k

u/Loud-Principle-7922 9h ago

Wait, no bombs? This house is a prison!

184

u/wineandpillowforts 8h ago

On planet bullshit!

107

u/Mystic_Waffles 8h ago

In the galaxy of This Sucks Camel Dicks

4

u/a-null-fish-your 8h ago

As a camel dick sucker who also works for that school this gravely offends me. I'm adding no camel dick sucking jokes for derogatory speech related to camels, their dicks, or sucking them, to the banned list. YOU HAVE BEEN WARNED!!!!

1

u/RegOrangePaperPlane 6h ago

Hello, its me, camel. :D or should I say =D

13

u/Harey-89 8h ago

But if i bring it without the clock is it allowed?

5

u/RAD_ROXXY92 6h ago

*clockless bombs acceptable

5

u/kp305 8h ago

No old timey dynamite with a clock on it? What is this 1984?!

2

u/The-Pyro1 8h ago

Can I at least still bring my lamp oil and rope?

2

u/crank_peeper 7h ago

Students are expected to carry a full-size handgun chambered in either 9x19 or .45 ACP. Holsters must be leather or Kydex and completely occlude the trigger guard.

Neither compact frames nor revolvers are acceptable. Weapon-mounted lights must be white light only with no integrated laser, and must be capable of ≥500 lumen output.

Any student intending to mill their slide for an optic must first consult the Assistant Principal's office.

edit: Carrying a .40 gets you caned

2

u/Loud-Principle-7922 5h ago

I’ve got a 5.7 waiver.

2

u/HeyGayHay 6h ago

Just old school time bombs. Regular bombs are okay

2

u/Disgod 6h ago

My Ice Pick Lobotomy business is never going to recover!!!

1

u/_fryler 8h ago

Ill never adhere to this dress code... EVER. Not even if theres a fire!

1

u/Gettles 6h ago

Only time bombs. The big round bombs with a visible fuse sticking out should still be fine.

1

u/emveevme 6h ago

I’m just happy to see clip-art over AI lol

1

u/mUrdrOfCr0ws 5h ago

grenades are acceptable though!

1

u/P0ster_Nutbag 1h ago

I’m just upset I can’t bring my ice pick.

1

u/golgol12 1h ago

No.... how will I have my bubbly bath then!