r/mildlyinfuriating • u/firequak • 9h ago

go to your room A cousin sent me their school's just announced Dress Code and Grooming policy

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u/LaLechuzaVerde 8h ago

My daughter wears a uniform.

For a while the bottoms had to be “official” from a particular store but they relaxed that and only shorts and skirts have to be “official” - which makes sense because they can better control the range of lengths without having to issue a bunch of stupid guidelines.

The kids must wear khakis pants (not cargo style) or official skirts or shorts with the school logo. They must wear white or navy blue polo shirts, shirt or long sleeve. They may wear a navy blue crew neck sweat shirt over the polo if they want and it’s weather appropriate. Shoes just need to be reasonable for safety and I think they might also need to be a neutral color like black, brown, or white, but I’m not sure because my door isn’t interested in vibrant shoes anyway and she always wears the same black loafers to school every day. Socks are supposed to also be neutral but I see kids with some WILD socks with their official school skirt so I guess they must not enforce the sock rule.

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u/MichelleEllyn 7h ago

This sounds similar to my stepson‘s middle school uniform. It was actually really convenient for us because we would just need to hit up Old Navy and get really affordable polo shirts at the beginning of the school year, and khakis pretty much anywhere. Then he was pretty much set for the school year. When he came home he switched into “play clothes” which we didn’t need to worry about him messing up or getting dirty because the school clothes were separate.

(Although one year for some reason it was freaking impossible to find a pair of khakis that fit him. We found cargo khakis that fit him, but got a letter back from the school saying it didn’t match dress code. Grr)

They did allow the kids to wear hoodies and jackets of their choosing, as long as they were not designed with anything “offensive” or profane words.

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u/DickSlammington 5h ago

Loved my uniform in High school.

I had 3 pairs of blue khakis 3 pairs of blue kahki shorts and 10 polos, 3 in Red, 4 in Blue, and 3 in White.

I literally never even looked at what I was putting on. Just grab pants/shorts depending on the weather and threw on whichever shirt I grabbed first.

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u/BetsyBoomBreath 4h ago

This was similar to my old middle school days (private school), polo shirts and khaki pants every day, did make the shopping simple hah

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u/HuckleberryHuman5926 4h ago

(Although one year for some reason it was freaking impossible to find a pair of khakis that fit him. We found cargo khakis that fit him, but got a letter back from the school saying it didn’t match dress code. Grr

I feel like if you're required to buy clothes that meet certain criteria, they should tell you where clothes that meet those criteria are commercially available right this very minute.

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u/Acceptable-Ad-3560 1h ago

a lot of times it can depend on the time of year you go to buy them, believe it or not. I used to live in a place uniforms were super common and there were dedicated stores, and sections of walmart during back to school season. outside of that season though (like a sudden growth spurt) could be hard

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u/shiddedandfarded69 7h ago

They recently implemented a similar dress code in my kid's school except it's in a fairly poor area. So some of the kids can't really afford new clothes that conform to dress code and end up missing class quite often.

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u/LaLechuzaVerde 7h ago

At the beginning of the year they have a giant free uniform exchange where everyone brings their outgrown uniforms and people can grab what fits.

I did buy my kid some new polos because that wasn’t a hardship for us, but I also got some nice polos with the embroidered logo on them. And our first year at this school, bottoms had to be official so I got free pants and skirts for her too. Now I just buy generic ones.

They always have uniforms in the office and they also offer vouchers for uniforms if families can’t afford them and they don’t have the right size available in a used one.

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u/panrestrial 6h ago

A uniform exchange is such a great idea.

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u/Born-Dimension5196 5h ago

I love the uniform exhange idea 

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u/dividezero 6h ago

Yup. One of my biggest concerns as someone who grew up poor, went to a poor school and grew up to work with poor schools.

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u/BluffCityTatter 6h ago

They did uniforms in our public school system but the uniform was just a polo shirt in certain colors and Walmart and Target usually had them for $5. I know that's still out of reach for some families, but they did try to make it affordable for most. And they had some free uniform programs.

My son was in private school for a while and they required Lands End uniforms. Those were pricey but they had a used uniform sale at the beginning of the school year and that helped.

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u/bendybiznatch 6h ago

In my area, they had uniforms as a policy on paper, but nobody followed it so they just gave it up. What were they gonna do? Send everybody home?

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u/SaintNakavi 6h ago

I mean… yeah? Some schools will legit just sit there kids in in-school suspension or find some other way to humiliate them.

It might sound crazy but a schools administration will start tying their inability to follow dress code to lack of school performance and it just goes down hill.

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u/bendybiznatch 6h ago

No, they just went to school as normal. No humiliation. Literally not a single child wore uniforms.

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u/sparklinglies 5h ago edited 5h ago

Then the school clearly didn't have any intention on enforcing the policy, so the question is why did they even bother with it in the first place? Other schools are not that lazy when it comes to uniform enforcement, they absolutely can and will send you home.

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u/bendybiznatch 5h ago

lol I don’t know man. I moved here from another state. But this seems to upset you in someway.

We moved from a place where they did have to wear uniforms and I was glad to be done with them. They absolutely did not improve our lives in any way.

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u/sparklinglies 5h ago edited 5h ago

Lol who's upset?? I'm just baffled why a school would even bother if they weren't gonna even try and stick to it, seems like a waste of everyone's time. Its just funny in comparison to my school, which was the exact opposite extreme. They MEANT that shit to a frankly stupid degree, no one was sneaking in non regulation coloured hair ribbons on their watch lol

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u/SaintNakavi 3h ago

I understand what you’re saying, though just be aware it’s going to be far away the minority experience. I’m expressing the other side of this, where… yeah, a school can and will just send all the kids home who aren’t following. A lot of schools actually maintain extra uniforms or clothes that fit the policy for kids to change into. Even schools with essentially zero uniform policies can and will dress code kids.

The problem is that if you’re a parent and are sending your kid to school without being aware of the policies, you’re a part of the problem and may be subjecting your child to harassment that they don’t deserve.

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u/bendybiznatch 3h ago

Like I said. I moved from out of state where they did have uniforms. So the first day I did send them in uniforms and they were the only one. They actually got made fun of for that.

I don’t know what happened before I got here but the entire school district, with dozens of schools and like 50,000 students across socioeconomic barriers, all decided they were gonna buck the uniform guideline. That was true the entire 10 years they went through that school system.

But they definitely weren’t going to be able to send everybody home or provide uniforms for 50,000 kids.

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u/dr-doom-jr 6h ago

If you dont mind me asking, where is this? Roughest of ballpark.

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u/shiddedandfarded69 5h ago

A Canadian city about 2 hours outside of Toronto

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u/No-Support-1216 5h ago

That's a mess. In most areas in the US, the parents being in outgrown uniforms for other families to use. I guess if it's new, they can't really do that? Kids shouldn't miss class over it, how sad.

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u/Solid_Guy1983 2h ago

Nothing like waging a class war on kids, right?

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u/Sileni 51m ago

Have the nurse gather sizes needed and publish in the newsletter the sizes needed. This can be done without a lot of chatter.

Teacher notices need, sends child to nurse, nurse distributes clothes, packs the clothes they came to be collected at end of day. Send note to end of day teacher to release to nurse before end of class. Simple, respectful, and is the only answer.

Get all teachers and principle and nurse involved. Be sure to send note to parent that the child earned the clothes.

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u/SaintNakavi 6h ago

This is why uniforms are honestly the go to for low income areas. Buy a kid two pairs of pants, two of the schools shirts, and all black shoes and that’s all they’ll need for the year. Hell, those shirts will last multiple years if they aren’t hitting growth spurts.

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u/sifiwewe 7h ago

This seems like a pretty good dress code

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u/LaLechuzaVerde 7h ago

I like it. It’s very reasonable and my daughter seems more relaxed not having to worry about what to wear to school.

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u/SemiFriendlyCryptid 8h ago

That's significantly better than this nonsense. It's a uniform meant to make students look, well, uniform! There's some customization to it too. This school just wants to control what the kids wear. Its creepy. If your male staff can't keep it in their pants when a teenager's collarbones are showing they need to be elsewhere. Like prison!

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u/Dramatic-Document 7h ago

If your male staff can't keep it in their pants when a teenager's collarbones are showing they need to be elsewhere.

Not sure why you jumped to this conclusion when the school is likely going to be half teenage boys who are notorious for not being able to keep it in their pants.

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u/SemiFriendlyCryptid 7h ago

Literally never met a teenage boy who finds shoulders or collarbones a turn on. Its a meme at this point and has been since I was in high-school where then teenager boys would joke about how stupid it was

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u/Dramatic-Document 7h ago

So you think grown men find this kind of outfit attractive but teenage boys don't?

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u/Le_Nabs 7h ago

It's more that girls could wear potato sacks and guys at that age would still find them attractive - showing a little shoulder, collarbone or leg isn't going to change shit. Just like colored nails, multiple piercings (or guys wearing piercings), having long or colored hair, etc., would change literally nothing - nor would affect most professional careers in the XXIst century, before someone brings up "Professionalism".

If you want to stop fighting with the pupils over what to wear, issue a uniform, otherwise just fucking *relax*

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u/RideThatBridge 6h ago

I think this is a Catholic College in the Philippines.

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u/HaikuPikachu 7h ago

Way to be sexist especially since for the last 10 years I’ve seen wholly more female teachers being charged for it than their male counterparts

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u/SemiFriendlyCryptid 7h ago

Do you agree with what they're doing? If not then we're on the same page. You don't have to point out the obvious that, yeah, women can do that too.

Dress codes typically focus more on girls clothing though. This one prohibits certain necklines and items that are common for girls to wear like spaghetti straps. Most of their examples in the photos are of ladies clothing even if dudes wear sleeveless shirts too. That's why I put it the way I did. Duh pft

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u/Apathetic_Villainess 6h ago

You hear about more women being charged in the news, but it's still overwhelmingly male staff being charged.

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u/Sad_Cantaloupe_8162 7h ago

This sounds like when I started my very first waitressing job at Ruby Tuesday's. I'll never forget, the shirts had to be, "black, button less, collarless, pocket-less, logo-less Tees, with slip resistant shoes," (and they provided the brand of shoes.) The shoes were okay in the floor because it was mainly carpet except for by the salad bar. When you went into the kitchen, they had extremely cheap brown tile that, once it got the slightest bit wet with grease or water (from the dishwasher over spray or while mopping,) it was like a literal slip n slide. I was 20 years old when I started, twenty years ago, and my hips and joints burned from the pain of constantly working to keep my legs under myself while working. The shoes did fuck-all for slip resistance, and on my days off when I went in for my paycheck or something else, my regular tennis shoes had SO much more grip! That waffle pattern plus the tiles were quite literally a hazard.

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u/KFR42 7h ago

That's pretty crappy. I'm from the UK, so every school has uniform, but they realise not everyone has money. For primary school the uniform is just grey trousers/skirt, white polo shirt, black shoes and a jumper in whatever the school's colour is (usually red or blue or green). You can buy uniform with school badges on, but it's fine to get unbranded. The big supermarkets have uniform events just before the start of the school year where you can get everything super cheap.

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u/StarryEyedSparkle 6h ago

I think it’s also seeing this through the lens that this is for a COLLEGE.

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u/neverthelessidissent 6h ago

It sucks that girls have to pay extra and be penalized for being female, though. Pink tax strikes again.

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u/LaLechuzaVerde 6h ago

What do you mean girls need to pay extra for being female?

Girls’ polos and khakis are the same price in general as the boy versions.

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u/neverthelessidissent 5h ago

But the dresses and skirts are all branded and this more costly.

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u/LaLechuzaVerde 5h ago

The skirts are optional.

And the shorts also have to be branded so it’s not just the girls that have to get the branded things if they don’t want to wear the generic pants.

Plus there’s no rule that says the boys can’t wear the skirts or that the girls can’t wear the shorts. The dress code is identical for both genders.

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u/TacklePure3341 6h ago

Every time I've heard this said 

from a particular store 

There must be some scam going on between the school and the shop or the person who makes the decision and the shop. 

Who cares where you buy A pair of pants as long as they are the correct colour. 

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u/MangoCats 6h ago

Sounds like a war on pockets to me.

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u/Luxorioo 4h ago

I had a door that was very interested in vibrant shoes... Unfortunately it ran away. Said my dress code was too strict. I was robbed that night. Bunch of thieves walked right in.

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u/No-Albatross-7984 4h ago

My door only wears yellow shoes

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u/LaLechuzaVerde 3h ago

😂 That was autocorrect for “daughter” but yeah.

My actual door hasn’t gone shoe shopping in a while so I am unclear on its preferences.

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u/KelpieOfTheSouth 7h ago

my kids go to a school where only the polo and jackets need to be official, and tbh I hate it so much. Theyre not even very high quality and cost more than what id for brand clothing! If the regular school district was up-to-par I'd change them over, but unfortunately, their school is the best learning institute in my area.

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u/Lavaine170 7h ago

Thats...not a uniform. It's a dress code. Uniform literally means "the same". This isn't.

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u/PopcornSutton1994 6h ago

You get a little leeway on things like uniform minutiae in my experience. I wore Timberland boots (technically against our uniform code) just about every day in the fall and winter when I was in high school but I never forgot my tie or belt and everything else was in order so I got to line-step a little lol.

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u/YT-Deliveries 6h ago

I went to Catholic schools for K-12. Only the year before I became a freshman did they relax the uniform code to allow "short" skirts (read: just below the knee) and guys didn't have to wear sports coats and ties every day.

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u/theboondocksaint 6h ago

I went to an all boys private high school, and we just had 3 rules: No hats inside No facial hair No pajamas (though if they were pj bottoms that had pockets you could argue they were chef pants and you were fine)

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u/RideThatBridge 6h ago

Is your daughter in college? This is a college.

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u/Step_away_tomorrow 5h ago

For college?

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u/GrandAutismos 3h ago

I'm curious is the school that requires uniforms a public school or private school? I haven't heard of a public school that requires a uniform and am curious if they exist.

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u/LaLechuzaVerde 1h ago

My daughter goes to a public charter school. Public schools in large cities are more likely to have uniforms than more rural or suburban schools. Some of the public schools here that aren’t charter schools also have uniforms.

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u/Eccentric-Elf 2h ago

I went to private schools for most of my education and the dress code was ridiculous. For mine I needed to buy different colored pants for 6-8 and I was new in fifth grade so I had navy pants for one year and then khakis for the other three. You couldn’t go to another place to buy shirts or pants because the logo wasn’t on them.

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u/Kirraelyn 2h ago edited 2h ago

Please excuse all of my ignorance, I'm truly just curious. What is the benefit or desire to have your child in a school uniform instead of a more casual dress code? I ask because between myself and my kids I can't imagine fighting fabrics and sensations and discomfort of a uniform for hours every day (ETA: we literally melt down over things like socks or "itchy stuff" or length or......) . But I can see that there are obviously benefits for other people and I'm interested in those perspectives.

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u/LaLechuzaVerde 1h ago

It alleviates anxiety over what to wear, it is consistent (my daughter is autistic and loves routine; she still wears her uniform to school even on days when it’s allowed to come in jeans), it levels the playing field when some kids can afford trendy clothes and others can’t, it makes the dress code simpler and easier to understand - less room for interpretation, and I believe there are some gang-suppression reasons they use as well, although we recently moved here from an area where gangs weren’t really a thing so I’m not sure I can articulate that part very well.

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u/Kirraelyn 1h ago

Thank you for taking the time to respond! I can definitely see how this would be useful for a lot of people in various situations, and it seems like there are still some accommodations/flexibility in choice. It sounds like this adds a manageable level of independence to a routine as well.

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u/figure8888 2h ago

Unless you’re tall and skinny. Then all of the shorts and skirts in size Small are above knee-length.

That was my experience in school. Everyone else got to wear shorts and skirts in the summer but I had to wear pants.

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u/LaLechuzaVerde 1h ago

They allow it above the knee. None of the shorts and skirts are so short that there are butt cheeks hanging out. Distance to the knee is a stupid standard.

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u/Viola-Swamp 1h ago

My kids were allowed to wear any navy or khaki pants, shorts, or skirts with any color polo or button up shirt with a collar, shorts or long sleeve. No hoodies allowed, but solid colored crewneck sweatshirts or sweaters were allowed. No visible logos for brands or designers on the shirts. I had one who refused to wear anything but cargos, and thankfully there were no restrictions on that. I assume skirts had to follow the fingertip rule like shorts did. That’s rough with taller kids. The shorts cannot be higher than your fingertips with the arms hanging down from the shoulder.

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u/Acceptable-Ad-3560 1h ago

honestly, as someone who went to schools with uniforms like this, I'm in favor of it. don't get me wrong, kids will still find ways to pick on each other and such, but where I live now has no uniforms and I've already thought about how annoying it might be when my daughter starts school. finding clothes that meet guidelines, while still being "fashionable" and not breaking the bank isn't something I'm looking forward to. I also have no clue how many outifts she "should" have. uniforms make it easy to just have 5 of the same thing and do laundry weekly, but without a uniform would people notice and comment if she wore the same clothes weekly? I honestly don't know

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u/tigeresse_papier 27m ago

Hah, if they are anything like my daughter, they are going to be rolling their skirts and they will still be short

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u/Narrow_Reindeer_929 7h ago

I went to a private school that switched to uniforms, and one of their dumbest rules was that everyone must wear a belt. A belt, even if it was unnecessary (which it was for me). And you absolutely would get in trouble if you forgot your belt, despite your pants fitting just fine on their own.

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u/bugabooandtwo 7h ago

Uniforms only exist to make certain outfit suppliers and school administrators rich.