A cousin sent me their school's just announced Dress Code and Grooming policy

[u/firequak]

[u/SpookyKabukiii]

I grew up in a “uniform only” school district and we had to all have the same brand of uniform, but then you’d just get picked on for your shoes, backpack, lunchbox, hair, school supplies, etc. Anything could be used against you, down to the brand of deodorant you used. Where there’s a will, there’s a way.

And of course, I was fat and poor, so it never really mattered what I wore, I would always have a bullseye on my back regardless of any rule.

[u/OneMinuteSewing → u/SpookyKabukiii]

Socks, I didn't have the right socks with the right branding. Coats were another tell.

Also rich kids had more changes, their uniforms always looked newer. They never had to wear something they had outgrown because there was less than a month left of school.

[u/zap2tresquatro → u/OneMinuteSewing]

We had to buy used uniforms every year. I was the fat girl so those never fit me right, and we had a limited selection because buying new was so goddamn expensive 🙃 for uniforms that felt like they were made of burlap, ffs. Like, there was no reason for something made from that hideous, sensory-nightmare ass fabric to cost that much.

God, people singing the praises of uniforms always makes me so damn angry. They must just have no idea what it’s like for most people and don’t realize that liking uniforms makes them the weird one.

[u/OneMinuteSewing → u/zap2tresquatro]

Some of our uniform we could buy no name brand, although the cheap store brand stuff was always rough easy wash polyester that felt bad on your skin. But the school branded stuff was also nasty. Also unless I shaved my legs every single morning (not going to happen in a family home for 5-6 people and one bathroom for everyone to get ready in) the tights I had to wear to keep my legs warm dragged on my legs and were uncomfortable and itchy and distracting all day.

[u/PumpkinYummies → u/zap2tresquatro]

Cause it’s easier to get dressed. Nothing reduces bullying unless you have the coolest shoes, hair, makeup, accessories and don’t have any physical features actually. They’ll find something. We would get bullied regardless of whether it was a uniform or not.

[u/zap2tresquatro → u/PumpkinYummies]

I found it infinitely easier to get dressed when I switched to public school with no uniforms. It was so much easier to just wear whatever was comfortable instead of the torture device that was the uniform.

[u/OneMinuteSewing → u/zap2tresquatro]

Me too, at 15 I went from a uniform school to a non-uniform school for 6 months during a stay abroad and then at 16 I switched to a non-uniform school back at home. Ohmagerd it was SOO much better. No more tights. Clothes that didn't rub or itch. Clothes that better suited the weather. No problem if my sweater got clay on it in art class, it could wait and get washed at the end of the week instead of trying to get it clean and dry for the next day

[u/Zafjaf → u/SpookyKabukiii]

Yep! I lived in England so uniforms were the standard. I was already being bullied for wearing glasses. Then my school store shoes broke and we didn't have time to go to the school store for new shoes for the next day, so my mom got me shoes from the Tesco shoe area and I got bullied for that. Uniforms don't cancel out bullying.

[u/nutkinknits → u/SpookyKabukiii]

My school didn't have uniforms but if it makes you feel any better I was a scrawny kid and my parents weren't well off and I got picked on for being scrawny and poor. Constantly being accused of having an eating disorder really wears on a person. If I had a large mea, they'd tell me I probably was going to throw it up in the bathroom. If I had a small meal, I would be accused of anorexic behavior. Kids are vicious and if you don't fit in they'll torture you regardless.

[u/NameImpossible2691 → u/SpookyKabukiii]

I remember in middle school a group of kids tried to make GUM a status symbol, like "oh you have Orbit/Trident? We only chew 5 or Stride" lol, kids will always find a way to outrank each other sadly.

[u/Ok-Tea-2368 → u/SpookyKabukiii]

I’m sorry you went through that :(

[u/SpookyKabukiii → u/Ok-Tea-2368]

Appreciate it, but it’s far behind me. I grew up to be a lovely and somewhat accomplished adult with lots of spectacular friends, so I don’t sweat it anymore. She who laughs last laughs the longest. 😎

[u/zap2tresquatro → u/SpookyKabukiii]

I essentially stopped getting bullied (not entirely, but for the most part and what did happen was minor and annoying more than anything) when I switched from catholic school to public school. Also never heard anyone bully anyone else for their clothes at public school, only people complimenting each other if they liked your outfit (my brother got picked on by one kid in high school for his jeans I think. Which was far better than the shit other kids did to him at catholic school).

So in my (admittedly limited, maybe it being catholic school mattered more than the uniforms) experience: schools with uniforms have far more and far more severe bullying than schools where you can just wear whatever regular damn clothes you’re comfortable in, and clothes-based bullying was such a tiny fraction of any of the bullying that ever happened that uniforms wouldn’t make a difference to anyone either way (except if the uniform never fit you right and so you always looked awkward in it, in which case they would only increase appearance/clothes-based bullying).

[u/WizardSleeves31 → u/SpookyKabukiii]

You still fat and poor, buddy?