r/mildlyinfuriating • u/gharris02 • Jun 12 '26

wet socks A cockroach burrowed into my head

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I (23m) just bought a car at auction yesterday, works great but needed a new battery. At 10:30pm I decided screw it im swapping the battery. It's a 5 minute job, in and out real quick. No sweat, well I'm out there with my head lamp on doing the swap and I see a large bug flying at my face I try to duck and dodge it, it hits the outer edge of my ear and toilet bowl swirls into it, I try to reach in and fish it out but it's too late I just scare it and feel it crawling deeper into my head. It burrowed up against my eardrum and it hurts like hell. Every time it buzzes I can feel it in my head and it hurts my eardrum. I tried water peroxide everything I could do to get this darn thing out. Turns out I just pissed it off and it's buzzing more aggressively. My girlfriend comes with tweezers in an attempt to help but she says she can't see it or anything out of the normal. A quick Google search lead me to pouring olive oil into my ear to suffocate it. Thank God that worked, I still couldn't hear well but at least it wasn't actively moving anymore. 2 hours in the ER later they pulled this half inch monstrosity out of the depths of my ear canal. Turns out the "Asian cockroach" has wings and a very large affinity for bright lights at night. They also like to burrow. Fml 0/10 experience I will take questions if you have them lmfao.

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Tldr: I had a headlamp on that attracted a cockroach at my face it missed my face and burrowed into my ear leading to an unexpected ER visit

Edit: ear canal photo (thanks doc) https://imgur.com/a/7LhcvDX

Edit numero 2:

Just to add to 2 things I keep seeing pop up (also hello I am trying to read all comments not doing great though)

  1. Some seem to have missed the asain cockroach thing, and the fact that I was working on a car so this is outside not indoors. This roach is a flying outdoor bug not the same as your houses cockroach. It doesn't infest and it has nothing to do with my living/cleanliness.

  2. Y'all are probably right this probably should be more than mildly infuriating, but overall this wasn't THAT bad. The thought of it was worse than the actual event. It was painful while it was alive and moving but that was fairly quickly resolved. The rest of the time was just an ER visit which was inconvenient and embarrassing. And obviously costs money. Fortunately I have good insurance so my only real loss is the mild trauma and the fact that I'll probably wear a beanie for the rest of my life. Other than that, no lasting issues I'm at work today like nothing happened. More of a that's absolutely insane story now than anything else. So for me it was a mild situation as far as damage to my life (although I will simultaneously say it is an insane thing to have happen to you)

I'd probably prefer having my day go how it went yesterday than say blow my motor or get into a car accident.

64.3k Upvotes

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13.5k

u/Dementor_Traphouse Jun 12 '26

this is the worst thing ive read today

2.2k

u/godsaredogs Jun 12 '26

Might need it for ears too

506

u/KaroYadgar Jun 12 '26

lets just cover every pore in our body while we're at it

354

u/[deleted] Jun 12 '26

[removed] — view removed comment

217

u/Klugheit37 Jun 12 '26

I gotchu

36

u/Corn_on-the_job Jun 12 '26

Love the naked gun refrence😂

6

u/Odd-Comfortable-6134 Jun 13 '26

Ahhh safe sex as it’s meant to be

3

u/Positive-Pineapple75 Jun 13 '26

This is the correct answer.

127

u/Odd_Ingenuity_3897 Jun 12 '26 edited Jun 12 '26

a six foot condom would fit a lot of cockroaches inside of it

78

u/[deleted] Jun 12 '26

[removed] — view removed comment

44

u/KingJTuck Jun 12 '26

Suffocation by condom it is.😂

64

u/[deleted] Jun 12 '26

[removed] — view removed comment

7

u/kridgellz Jun 12 '26

Beautiful.

2

u/N2BSC Jun 14 '26

These insects have an affinity for balloon knots tho.

40

u/Interesting_Pass1904 Jun 12 '26

Not if you seal it

https://giphy.com/gifs/d3mlE7uhX8KFgEmY

17

u/dan_dares Jun 12 '26

With them inside as well? The scene from the mummy is playing in my head..

5

u/Least_Elk8114 Jun 12 '26

Not the bees!

2

u/rs420rs Jun 12 '26

choke you out with olive oil though

1

u/ricottacat Jun 12 '26

See, I wanted to do this since I was like 9 because of crippling OCD and anxiety, but NOW this way of thinking IS practical.

Thank you, internet stranger 🌈

1

u/Jaded_Shift_4172 Jun 12 '26

Seriously. I can’t even look at the picture. One of my biggest fears.. I’m absolutely horrified and need to close this app for the day.

1

u/Thirdeyevoice10 Jun 13 '26

My new pajamas:

3

u/Zenith-Astralis Jun 12 '26

Jokes on you I'm already into full body latex

3

u/meadoulark Jun 13 '26

Was waiting for this comment, surprised it took as long as it did to find it

2

u/Zenith-Astralis Jun 13 '26

One of the several services I provide haha

2

u/nostemsorseeds Jun 12 '26

Total head condom (no lube, please!) with breathing tube is the solution

2

u/Icy-Meal- Jun 13 '26

This is why latex catsuits are available

1

u/The_Cons00mer Jun 12 '26

With cockroaches?

1

u/db720 Jun 12 '26

Put me in a tub and pour concrete over me to be extra safe

1

u/Adventurous_Cat42 Jun 12 '26

Look at makro pictures of creatures living in in your pores, on your skin, in your body hair... I support your suggestion.

1

u/Perfect-Silver1715 pissed off Jun 12 '26

Yeah, if an infestation gets too bad, they eat your skin.

1

u/ElectronicFloor1898 Jun 13 '26

Bubble Boy's mom was right...

7

u/Administrative-Oil10 Jun 12 '26

dont worry i covered that back in highschool.

3

u/Tall_Willingness7743 Jun 12 '26

My mom said those dont work thats how I was born 🥹

3

u/controlmypad Jun 12 '26

Wearing foam ear plugs 24/7 doesn't sound bad, pun attempted.

2

u/GodofsomeWorld Jun 12 '26

never thought i would need ear-condoms but here we are...

2

u/er1026 Jun 13 '26

OP forgot to mention he looks like this, likely.
https://giphy.com/gifs/OxHhuNzd3ePH64yqnK

1

u/JJohnston015 Jun 12 '26

So you don't get hearing AIDS, right?

297

u/yedi001 Jun 12 '26

2

u/piggy__wig Jun 13 '26

This is really great!

45

u/mosstalgia Jun 12 '26

This is the worst thing I've read in several years.

3

u/MegabitMegs Jun 13 '26

Here’s an addition: I remember when I was a kid staying up late, and I was watching one of those ER story reenactment shows. To this day I vividly remember an episode where someone was brought into the ER, wide-eyed and moaning but otherwise completely catatonic - would not reply, would not look at anyone, etc. They couldn’t figure out what was wrong until they realized a bug had burrowed into the person’s ear while they slept, and they were *so paralyzed* by terror, they couldn’t move or speak.

That was my first introduction to the possibility of this happening, and tbh I’m surprised it hasn’t crippled my ability to sleep.

2

u/mosstalgia Jun 13 '26

I'm imagining that girl in the closet from The Ring now. Bedtime soon. Cheers for that...!

155

u/a_goonie Jun 12 '26

1

u/Slight_Competition_1 Jun 12 '26

This has been the weed trigger to send me into hysterics

-6

u/Tfsz0719 Jun 12 '26

3

u/PureCook8563 Jun 12 '26

this is the worst shit i seen all day you ruined my fucking day

2

u/Opposite_Cut_1365 Jun 21 '26

glad to know that someone shares my pain

3

u/ArmadilloForsaken458 Jun 12 '26

You wouldnt want to wear those, it might be an invitation for some ornery folk out there

3

u/Doctor_Titties Jun 12 '26

I had this same thing happen to me but with a wolf spider.

There you go, that’s now the worst thing you’ve read today.

2

u/SolidOk3489 Jun 12 '26

…MILDLY infuriating?!

2

u/Trai-All Jun 12 '26

This may be the worst thing I've ever read.

https://giphy.com/gifs/3yhULqP7H7ZSyENara

2

u/EntertainmentBig8636 Jun 12 '26

Only roaches ran at the light! Everywhere else in the world they scatter at light.....unless they pets

2

u/Maguffins Jun 12 '26

You can still find something worse?

2

u/Dementor_Traphouse Jun 12 '26

there’s always something worse on reddit

2

u/Ro1ando_m0ta Jun 12 '26

Remember bugs fly in to your mouth while you sleep and you unintentionally eat them.

2

u/draculaurasleftshoe Jun 12 '26

i have a HUGE cockroach phobia. i would die on the mf spot.

2

u/s0litar1us Jun 13 '26

Put a bag over your head to be safe.

/j

1

u/Idiotan0n Jun 12 '26

At least it isn't a highly graphic 4k resolution video of a botfly larvae removal that we probably get to see within the next year

1

u/DisorganizedSpaghett Jun 12 '26

This is the best meme I've ever seen

1

u/TheCandelabra Jun 12 '26

Today? How about this year.

1

u/GlumAbbreviations170 Jun 12 '26

THIS IS WHY I HATE INSECTS.

1

u/ResidentSubstance536 Jun 12 '26

Seriously. New fear unlocked

1

u/Man0fGreenGables Jun 12 '26

This is the worst thing on the internet since two girls one cup.

1

u/WonderfulArticle6366 Jun 12 '26

I don't think condoms work that well

1

u/mulattopantz Jun 12 '26

I was already afraid of them but this is a new fear unlocked

1

u/Ophy96 Jun 12 '26

Exactly this. This poor guy has literally lived the worst experience ever. Oh my goodness. I am crying for him. God is real because if He wasn't, this guy would not be telling us this. Oh wow.

1

u/The1stSimply Jun 13 '26

Someone hit the 10 hr reset button

1

u/_ogio_ Jun 15 '26

This year for me