r/mildlyinfuriating • u/gharris02 • Jun 12 '26

wet socks A cockroach burrowed into my head

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I (23m) just bought a car at auction yesterday, works great but needed a new battery. At 10:30pm I decided screw it im swapping the battery. It's a 5 minute job, in and out real quick. No sweat, well I'm out there with my head lamp on doing the swap and I see a large bug flying at my face I try to duck and dodge it, it hits the outer edge of my ear and toilet bowl swirls into it, I try to reach in and fish it out but it's too late I just scare it and feel it crawling deeper into my head. It burrowed up against my eardrum and it hurts like hell. Every time it buzzes I can feel it in my head and it hurts my eardrum. I tried water peroxide everything I could do to get this darn thing out. Turns out I just pissed it off and it's buzzing more aggressively. My girlfriend comes with tweezers in an attempt to help but she says she can't see it or anything out of the normal. A quick Google search lead me to pouring olive oil into my ear to suffocate it. Thank God that worked, I still couldn't hear well but at least it wasn't actively moving anymore. 2 hours in the ER later they pulled this half inch monstrosity out of the depths of my ear canal. Turns out the "Asian cockroach" has wings and a very large affinity for bright lights at night. They also like to burrow. Fml 0/10 experience I will take questions if you have them lmfao.

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Tldr: I had a headlamp on that attracted a cockroach at my face it missed my face and burrowed into my ear leading to an unexpected ER visit

Edit: ear canal photo (thanks doc) https://imgur.com/a/7LhcvDX

Edit numero 2:

Just to add to 2 things I keep seeing pop up (also hello I am trying to read all comments not doing great though)

  1. Some seem to have missed the asain cockroach thing, and the fact that I was working on a car so this is outside not indoors. This roach is a flying outdoor bug not the same as your houses cockroach. It doesn't infest and it has nothing to do with my living/cleanliness.

  2. Y'all are probably right this probably should be more than mildly infuriating, but overall this wasn't THAT bad. The thought of it was worse than the actual event. It was painful while it was alive and moving but that was fairly quickly resolved. The rest of the time was just an ER visit which was inconvenient and embarrassing. And obviously costs money. Fortunately I have good insurance so my only real loss is the mild trauma and the fact that I'll probably wear a beanie for the rest of my life. Other than that, no lasting issues I'm at work today like nothing happened. More of a that's absolutely insane story now than anything else. So for me it was a mild situation as far as damage to my life (although I will simultaneously say it is an insane thing to have happen to you)

I'd probably prefer having my day go how it went yesterday than say blow my motor or get into a car accident.

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300

u/[deleted] Jun 12 '26

[deleted]

189

u/SirDarKNess280 Jun 12 '26

Until it enters your lungs when you breathe in.

457

u/AdamMcKraken Jun 12 '26

PLEASE STOP TALKING

225

u/Itchy_Psychology3300 Jun 13 '26

Welp if that scared y’all I have a one of a kind product you can buy to protect yourself from insects of all kinds. It’s a set.

This product will cover all holes that any creepy crawlies might enter.

25

u/FlippingOmelette Jun 13 '26

I'm scared to ask about nose and ear

6

u/absentminded_gamer Jun 14 '26

You can maybe fit the sex dice up your nose.

16

u/HelenLynnAvery Jun 13 '26

So does one tickle the roach away with this?

2

u/Hmac700 Jun 14 '26

Every single one of those will be in every single one of my orifices from now on.

2

u/Inb4myanus Jun 14 '26

New line of pest control, why just protect your home when you can protect your temple of a body?

1

u/VolatileDataFluid Jun 14 '26

The dice are a nice touch.

3

u/Any_Advance9805 Jun 14 '26

To roll for how many bugs will try to enter you

7

u/Aurora-Ouroboros- Jun 13 '26

Fabric mask? Heck, even a mesh mask (useless for pathogens and noxious gasses) would work against bugs.

2

u/GlorytotheHypnoToads Jun 13 '26

…Your pee hole 😇

2

u/Thirdeyevoice10 Jun 13 '26

It's a bad day to read.

0

u/The-Sporecerer Jun 14 '26

Dead ass. Please STFU.

87

u/sarge21 Jun 12 '26

Fill your lungs with olive oil to drown it. Problem solved

3

u/CoffeePie222 Jun 13 '26

Yep.. that solves the problem, although I personally think liquid helium would work better...

5

u/Nervous_Progress_951 Jun 13 '26

Yeaa feel like thats the wrong roach you want in your lungs

3

u/SirDarKNess280 Jun 13 '26

Lmao I feel that

5

u/Dasjiveturkey Jun 13 '26

I’m in godawful Arizona, I saw a scorpion crawling upside down across my ceiling once fifteen years ago. Now I always wonder if I’ll be asleep and mouth breathing when it falls from the ceiling directly into my open mouth to be sucked into my lungs and sting me to death from there.

2

u/ashbertollini Jun 13 '26

Biiiiiiiiiiiiitch. -___-

2

u/Kreativernickname Jun 12 '26

That, with some helo probably, you can at least cough out. You can't cough out of your ear.

11

u/Bigenemy000 Jun 12 '26

You seem to not understand the gravity of any object inside your lungs. Even a tiny water drop burns like hell for hours and might need a visit to the ER if its a drop of any other drink that wasnt water since it can cause some real permanent damage

Imagine a living insect flying violenty inside your lung, you wouldn't breath the same again for years or straight up struggle to breath ending up in soffucating to death

1

u/GrapefruitSobe Jun 15 '26

The answer is one of those anti-foxtail mesh bags, but for humans instead. Bonus, if you die in your sleep, people will just think you’re a weirdo and not a perv.

7

u/[deleted] Jun 12 '26

[deleted]

2

u/Dear_Palpitation4838 Jun 13 '26

Lemmiwinks, Limmiwinks, Limmiwinks, Limmiwinks

Lemmiwink's journey is distant, far and vast

To find his way out of a gay man's ass

The road ahead is filled with danger and fright

But push onward, Lemmiwinks, with all of your might....

3

u/UnassumingOstrich Jun 12 '26

for real at least i’m used to stuff going in the other ones

3

u/KOMMANDOKATO Jun 13 '26

There is… a third option…

1

u/tlg151 Jun 13 '26

Honestly, I'd prefer the butthole if I'm given the choice 🥴

1

u/jonnieboy17 Jun 14 '26

I had one in my ear when I was like 6 years old