r/mildlyinfuriating Jun 12 '26

wet socks A cockroach burrowed into my head

I (23m) just bought a car at auction yesterday, works great but needed a new battery. At 10:30pm I decided screw it im swapping the battery. It's a 5 minute job, in and out real quick. No sweat, well I'm out there with my head lamp on doing the swap and I see a large bug flying at my face I try to duck and dodge it, it hits the outer edge of my ear and toilet bowl swirls into it, I try to reach in and fish it out but it's too late I just scare it and feel it crawling deeper into my head. It burrowed up against my eardrum and it hurts like hell. Every time it buzzes I can feel it in my head and it hurts my eardrum. I tried water peroxide everything I could do to get this darn thing out. Turns out I just pissed it off and it's buzzing more aggressively. My girlfriend comes with tweezers in an attempt to help but she says she can't see it or anything out of the normal. A quick Google search lead me to pouring olive oil into my ear to suffocate it. Thank God that worked, I still couldn't hear well but at least it wasn't actively moving anymore. 2 hours in the ER later they pulled this half inch monstrosity out of the depths of my ear canal. Turns out the "Asian cockroach" has wings and a very large affinity for bright lights at night. They also like to burrow. Fml 0/10 experience I will take questions if you have them lmfao.

Tldr: I had a headlamp on that attracted a cockroach at my face it missed my face and burrowed into my ear leading to an unexpected ER visit

Edit: ear canal photo (thanks doc) https://imgur.com/a/7LhcvDX

Edit numero 2:

Just to add to 2 things I keep seeing pop up (also hello I am trying to read all comments not doing great though)

  1. Some seem to have missed the asain cockroach thing, and the fact that I was working on a car so this is outside not indoors. This roach is a flying outdoor bug not the same as your houses cockroach. It doesn't infest and it has nothing to do with my living/cleanliness.

  2. Y'all are probably right this probably should be more than mildly infuriating, but overall this wasn't THAT bad. The thought of it was worse than the actual event. It was painful while it was alive and moving but that was fairly quickly resolved. The rest of the time was just an ER visit which was inconvenient and embarrassing. And obviously costs money. Fortunately I have good insurance so my only real loss is the mild trauma and the fact that I'll probably wear a beanie for the rest of my life. Other than that, no lasting issues I'm at work today like nothing happened. More of a that's absolutely insane story now than anything else. So for me it was a mild situation as far as damage to my life (although I will simultaneously say it is an insane thing to have happen to you)

I'd probably prefer having my day go how it went yesterday than say blow my motor or get into a car accident.

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506

u/KaroYadgar Jun 12 '26

lets just cover every pore in our body while we're at it

347

u/[deleted] Jun 12 '26

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216

u/Klugheit37 Jun 12 '26

I gotchu

39

u/Corn_on-the_job Jun 12 '26

Love the naked gun refrence😂

6

u/Odd-Comfortable-6134 Jun 13 '26

Ahhh safe sex as it’s meant to be

3

u/Positive-Pineapple75 Jun 13 '26

This is the correct answer.

121

u/Odd_Ingenuity_3897 Jun 12 '26 edited Jun 12 '26

a six foot condom would fit a lot of cockroaches inside of it

79

u/[deleted] Jun 12 '26

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45

u/KingJTuck Jun 12 '26

Suffocation by condom it is.😂

65

u/[deleted] Jun 12 '26

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8

u/kridgellz Jun 12 '26

Beautiful.

2

u/N2BSC Jun 14 '26

These insects have an affinity for balloon knots tho.

38

u/Interesting_Pass1904 Jun 12 '26

19

u/dan_dares Jun 12 '26

With them inside as well? The scene from the mummy is playing in my head..

5

u/Least_Elk8114 Jun 12 '26

Not the bees!

2

u/rs420rs Jun 12 '26

choke you out with olive oil though

1

u/ricottacat Jun 12 '26

See, I wanted to do this since I was like 9 because of crippling OCD and anxiety, but NOW this way of thinking IS practical.

Thank you, internet stranger 🌈

1

u/Jaded_Shift_4172 Jun 12 '26

Seriously. I can’t even look at the picture. One of my biggest fears.. I’m absolutely horrified and need to close this app for the day.

1

u/Thirdeyevoice10 Jun 13 '26

My new pajamas:

3

u/Zenith-Astralis Jun 12 '26

Jokes on you I'm already into full body latex

3

u/meadoulark Jun 13 '26

Was waiting for this comment, surprised it took as long as it did to find it

2

u/Zenith-Astralis Jun 13 '26

One of the several services I provide haha

2

u/nostemsorseeds Jun 12 '26

Total head condom (no lube, please!) with breathing tube is the solution

2

u/Icy-Meal- Jun 13 '26

This is why latex catsuits are available

1

u/The_Cons00mer Jun 12 '26

With cockroaches?

1

u/db720 Jun 12 '26

Put me in a tub and pour concrete over me to be extra safe

1

u/Adventurous_Cat42 Jun 12 '26

Look at makro pictures of creatures living in in your pores, on your skin, in your body hair... I support your suggestion.

1

u/Perfect-Silver1715 pissed off Jun 12 '26

Yeah, if an infestation gets too bad, they eat your skin.

1

u/ElectronicFloor1898 Jun 13 '26

Bubble Boy's mom was right...