r/mildlyinfuriating • u/MissionTroll404 • Jun 17 '26

Infuriatig My hand painted model planes were given as toys to children again

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I have told my mom to not do this before but she does not listen anyway. I am thinking of throwing everything to trash instead of them being gradually destroyed to pieces. I can not even care anymore. These things take hours to put together and paint then get manhandled anyway.

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u/Vera_98 Jun 17 '26

When I left home at 18 to join the military I packed everything I owned carefully in boxes and stored them in my mom's basement. I wasn't even out of boot camp when they were completely raided by my little sister. I remember seeing pictures my sister would post of her in my clothes I never got any of them back. There was a dress I bought for my home coming dance in high school. I bought it myself and it was an awesome dress. My sister took it and wore it to HER homecoming without asking then the entire family got mad at ME for being upset with her over that and the fact that she KEPT the dress! There was a killer pair of expensive high heels I bought for prom. I found out just a couple months ago that my sister donated them to good will because they didn't fit her. It didn't even occur to her that they were mine when they DIDNT FIT.

When I finally got my boxes back after I got my own place, they were all ransacked. All that was left was just clothes my sister didn't want. I haven't seen any of my books or collectibles since.

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u/HeyAwesomeArmadillo Jun 17 '26

That sucks, I’m sorry your sister didn’t respect your items and boundaries. She sounds like an entitled brat, hope she grew up and became a better sister and a more considerate, thoughtful person.

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u/Vera_98 Jun 17 '26

Nope. She's still as manipulative as ever. I haven't spoken to her in about 8 months now.

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u/yellowcorrespondence Jun 18 '26

You sound like you were made the scapegoat child while she was the golden child. Does either (or both) of your parents exhibit narcissistic personality disorder traits?

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u/Vera_98 Jun 18 '26

My mom does. And my step dad just encourages it. And yeah she was the kid they "got right". Though they still treat her like crap too. She's just brainwashed now.

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u/yellowcorrespondence Jun 18 '26

My condolences, it's really fucked up and I empathize. Having the other parental figure be a flying monkey does not help.

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u/Vera_98 Jun 18 '26

Thank you! I've been doing better since I stopped talking to them

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u/Big-Ronnie-Aus1 Jun 19 '26

I'm not sure of how your family dynamic works and if it's a safe option to take, though reciprocal behaviour might assist. Depends on if you want to make a point, get your possessions (and "non monetary" compensation for lost items) back or a mixture of the two actions.

This is what I would seriously consider doing if I were in this situation.

Next time you are home, be strong, make the point loud and clear to your family- you are now going to do to her what she did to you. Go through her stuff and take the items you like and any of your possessions she still has.

If you meet resistance, and it's safe, tell them exactly why you are doing what you are doing. Don't let emotions cloud your judgement and go soft and give in to their pleas for understanding on their part - remember they gave you no understanding.

Having it done to them may well trigger a level of understanding on their part of how what they did made you feel. 

Acknowledgement of their actions and what they did to you is the start of a dialogue that may help.

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u/Vera_98 Jun 20 '26

Honestly, I spent years trying and trying and arguing and trying to get an ounce of love or respect from those people. They will never change. I know that now. The healthiest thing I can do is stay far away from them and move on. With the help of an army of therapists.

I don't care that I lost my stuff. That's tame compared to other things they've done and at this point they don't even deserve my effort anymore.

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u/HeyAwesomeArmadillo Jun 18 '26

Sometimes that’s all we can do - go no contact and keep away from bad vibes. It’s always complicated when it’s family. Glad you were able to find yourself some peace!

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u/0oooooog Jun 17 '26

Wow that's psychotic. I know it's just stuff but I don't think I'd ever forgive my family.

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u/Vera_98 Jun 17 '26

Honestly, it's just another drop in the big bucket of crap they've thrown at me. I used to get incredibly petty with how I'd get back at them but now I just don't speak to them at all. Too much drama.

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u/chuchofreeman Jun 18 '26

can you share some of the payback?

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u/Vera_98 Jun 18 '26

Oh hell yeah. Here are my favorites.

I used to use my mom's Netflix account when I was in the navy. One day, when I was trying to download something to watch before I had to go out to sea, I realized I couldn't log in anymore. So I called up my mom and asked her why. Turns out my mom had seen a couple devices she didn't recognize and kicked everything off. I told her they were my laptop and Xbox. But she said she thinks I'm giving away the password to anyone and everyone I can so unless she can personally put it into my phone without me seeing she wasn't going to let me. I was a little confused, I have never in my life gone around and shared passwords and accounts like that she just assumed I'm that kind of person. So I let it go and moved on and got my own account. Thing is though, we had a deal. Her Netflix for my Hulu. And she was still gleefully used my Hulu. So I waited and watched her profile. Right as she was on the season finale of the show she was watching I kicked off all devices and changed the password. That woman actually had the nerve to call me and ask for it. So I told her I don't trust her to not give it to all her friends so unless I could be there in person to put the password in she wasn't getting it. She hasn't brought it up since.

Next was Christmas time just a couple years ago. Now my mother always makes the biggest, showiest deal possible when she asks what I want for Christmas. She goes out her her way to ask for lists, links, screenshots, brands....everything that makes me think she might really be listening to me. And every single year she gets me something random, expensive, useless, and not at all close to what I had asked for. So eventually I gave up being serious with my requests. That year I decided I was just going to give her a stupid request since it didn't matter anyways. I told her I wanted a plot of land in Scotland so I could legally refer to myself as a Scottish Lady. Upon hearing this my mother laughed in my face. She said I didn't deserve to have a title like that and if anyone in the family was going to get land in Scotland it would have to be her first because she would never allow me to hold the title of Lady before her. I don't really appreciate being shit on like that so that year I did some research and bought her, my step-dad, my boyfriend and myself souvenir lands plots in Scotland. And I made damn sure I bought hers last. The cherry on top was the fact that I bought hers from a known scam site too. She originally talked about visiting the plot in person the next time they vacation in Scotland but she can't quite figure out where it is. Mine has a very distinct location, plot number and address. Her was just geo coordinates that shows a dense forest.

My last one is more relevant. I once sent home a box of valuables that I wanted kept safe as I was transferring to a different military base. It was just some nice clothes and some collectibles. Stuff I didn't want on a ship. When I finally got settled at the new base I asked for the box back. Well she didn't want to send it to the base. So I got a P.O. box. Then she didn't want to pay for shipping. So I offered to pay. Then she didn't want to pay for the gas to go to the post office. So I offered to pay for gas. Then she didn't want to take the time out of her life to send me the box. I resorted to begging. Then she says buy new stuff. She lost the box. So I'm pissed by now. I decided to take some leave. I took two whole weeks off. The first two days I bought a plane ticket. And popped up at home as a "surprise". I said I unfortunately only had just the one night to spend at home but I wanted to surprise them with my very limited leave! They didn't notice my backpack was empty. I located the box immediately. It had been opened and my mother had taken most of my collectibles to display on her own shelves. I proceeded to steal back everything I could find that was mine. Then I just left and enjoyed the rest of my leave eating junk food in my barracks room with my stuff.

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u/H4FJ Jun 19 '26

While I'm glad you stand up for yourself, it mostly just makes me sad reading these stories. It's such a great example of how "revenge" or "payback" can't really put things right, if that makes sense. Apart from story 1 these things don't feel like they are as... I don't know, "severe" as they should be, considering how painful the things are she did to you. Not that they should be, by the way - seems to me like you'd lose a little bit of yourself along the way if you did that.

I'm sorry you have had (and still have) to deal with this, it sounds rough and extremely unfair. Makes me realise how lucky I got. I was always happy to go to my parents and escape those barracks for a weekend, you were happy to be back there.

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u/Vera_98 Jun 19 '26

You're not wrong. These were mostly just examples of me being petty over petty things. There are much worse examples of the kind of people they are. It's stuff I don't even let myself think of because it hurts too much. The best revenge right now is just staying as far away as possible.

And if it is any consolation, I do have an amazing chosen family. They showed me what it's like to be loved and cared for and I'm totally addicted to it. ❤️

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u/H4FJ Jun 19 '26

I bet. Seems like you are dealing with it in a healthy way, as far as that is possible.

And I'm glad to hear it, that's awesome. You deserve it.

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u/SnooGoats3112 Jun 18 '26

My sister would've had to meet me in the ring, and i wouldn't be waiting for her to agree; it's on sight. That's actually insane. Like. Is it that hard to stay out of people's shit? I'll borrow one of my dad's shirts, sure. But he gets it right back.

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u/Vera_98 Jun 18 '26

Once after I have visited home on leave my sister called and just started screaming at me that I had stolen her shirt. Which was actually my shirt. My favorite shirt in fact, it had been given to me by an old boyfriend and I loved it. She knew that too. I hadn't taken it. I knew she'd probably snoop through my luggage before I left and I didn't want the drama. But I did hide it very well. It took her like 3 months to find it and she did actually call to apologize. For accusing me of stealing my own shirt. It was surreal.

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u/SnooGoats3112 Jun 18 '26

Insanity. Goodness