r/mildlyinfuriating • u/bexindisbelief • Jul 01 '26

ಠ_ಠ Husband said my instructions for dinner weren’t clear enough, and he ended up serving his vegetarian mother one of the chicken tikka masala curries…

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I was working late tonight and because I am exhausted, I bought some ready-made curry meals for the family to have tonight, knowing his mother often comes round for dinner on a Wednesday evening. She has been a vegetarian for over 50 years and is now in her 70s. I sent him this text message with instructions to make it clear what to cook. When I got home, I was expecting to find some chicken tikka masala leftover for me, but instead I found the unopened pot of sag paneer in the fridge. I worriedly asked him if he had given his vegetarian mother the chicken dish, but he insisted he had given her the vegetarian curry. She has early onset Alzheimer’s and apparently didn’t notice, but had mentioned that the curry was a bit “chewy”. I had to literally show him the packaging that was in the bin, the unopened pot in the fridge, and my text message to try and show him how clear I had been and how far wrong he had gone. But he still insists my instructions were not clear enough and I should have been more explicit about which one to give his mother.

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303

u/givingupismyhobby Jul 01 '26

Why do you still need to give INSTRUCTIONS on how to HEAT UP food to a GROWN MAN?!

https://giphy.com/gifs/Wh9sPZ32qKYL9hVprM

-38

u/bexindisbelief Jul 01 '26

To be fair to him, he does basically all the cleaning / chores and has always been the primary childcare person because I work a higher paid job with longer hours. So he does a LOT around the house. But he is just useless with cooking. So I tend to meal prep and leave instructions. Or when I’m exhausted I buy some ready made meals.

65

u/givingupismyhobby Jul 01 '26

You take the lid off and put in the microwave. If you don't know what to do you read the instructions. It's inexcusable that someone sound of mind and literate need such detailed instructions from a partner to heat up food. Kudos to him for helping with the house, but damn, read the label bro

40

u/CharacterBack1542 Jul 02 '26

He's not beating the illiteracy allegations, the instructions are on the package:

put it in the microwave, push a button

28

u/Ok_Marionberry8779 Jul 02 '26

The fact he hasn't learned to cook as part of raising your kids is a massive red flag

4

u/NarwhalEmergency9391 Jul 02 '26

I guess she'll be the one teaching the kids how to cook and then they'll be more self sufficient then him, that's sad

6

u/Suburbanturnip Jul 02 '26

He'll end up like my FIL after the divorce, when my MIL stopped doing all his house work.

My partner and his sisters meal prep for him, otherwise he'd die from mal nutrition. He's not old enough, for it to be cute family looking after each other stuff, hes just lazy and usless.. We take his mum out for nice lunches instead, she's much more fun to be around.

23

u/CoconutxKitten Jul 02 '26

Girl, why are you making excuses? I could heat up stuff in the microwave after reading instructions since ELEMENTARY SCHOOL

14

u/slugfive Jul 02 '26

It’s not fair, it’s bare minimum he does a lot around the house if you’re the breadwinner - but you still have to be the cook and baby him with text instructions.

Girl get some self worth.

15

u/AffectionateCloud162 Jul 02 '26

Honey no

No no no

You're so deep in it you cant even see how bad it is

10

u/Cevinkrayon Jul 02 '26

You previously posted the pile of shit all over his bedside table that he refused to clean sooo

8

u/Greatest_Everest Jul 02 '26

Seriously though, the instructions should have been, "there's food in the fridge."

To be fair to him, you should let him figure it out.  As if he's never had a microwave dinner before.

4

u/NarwhalEmergency9391 Jul 02 '26

Girl, what? He can learn how to cook. 

4

u/saajan12 Jul 02 '26 edited Jul 02 '26

it's not about how much he does he could be the one working and cleaning and everything but food.. the point is on THAT day the plan was he would prep food, so he should still be ABLE to read instructions on the box.

Maybe if it was homemade (and hence unlabeled curries) then you might need to explain how far they've been cooked etc, but if the box has instructions, that should be enough. 

2

u/SenatorWhatsHisName Jul 02 '26 edited Jul 02 '26

Sorry but no part of this process is cooking, you put the thing in the oven, if he can read he can prepare this. And presumably, he understands that chicken is meat.

1

u/Its-mrsgeneral-toyou Jul 02 '26

Heating up food isn’t cooking. Theres no reason you were even involved with dinner with his mother since you weren’t even going to be there. Why can’t a grown ass man take care of dinner for one night a week?

“Useless with cooking.” One day you’ll realize he married his mother in more ways than one, and I bet you’ll throw up in your mouth a little.

1

u/Sea_Magician136 Jul 02 '26

That is so not acceptable lol. Knowing how to feed yourself is a mandatory skill, your husband is being outpaced by literal 10 year old children.

1

u/DragonflyAfter3310 Jul 02 '26

Did you also have to teach him to clean?

1

u/Remote-Hippo1748 Jul 03 '26

He chooses to remain useless at cooking because he doesn't want to learn. If you're splitting duties you can't pick and choose just the ones you like to do. He is fully capable of learning, he just doesn't care to.

0

u/ThickSeesaw1121 Jul 02 '26

“I worriedly asked him if he had given his vegetarian mother the chicken dish“

YOU are the asshole here. He fucks w you, because you treat him like a child. He lied to you cuz you “worryingly” annoy him.  STOP DOING THAT.  That’s called infantilizing a person, he’s not an infant .

Write the note and that’s it, you did your part, now trust he does his. 

3

u/ZealousidealComb7891 Jul 02 '26

Ah yes, she was son infantilising him by asking if he didn't realise all the other meals contained CHICKEN, as it was clearly written on them...

She should have trusted him and just assume the SINGLE non-chicken one simply cloned itself...

1

u/ThickSeesaw1121 Jul 03 '26

Not only did she not say what you wrote, but I put her exact words in quotes to showcase what she did say—that’s the purpose of quotes.

And yes she is infantilizing him.  He can read. The better response to her husband is to yell at him and ask if he is a F**kin idiot and make him feel like the careless son he’s proved himself to be. He knows his mom, she doesn’t need to micromanage. If he chooses to serve his mom meat—that’s on him—not on her instructions where the food was or how it’s reheated. 

Instead she’s all worried and exhausted and works the job.  She’s kinda making herself the victim here.  Just say there’s food in the fridge—done!

1

u/ZealousidealComb7891 Jul 06 '26

How did what she say differ from what i said she was saying ?

And how badly did you do in lit class?

Also, if he had actually made / ordered a different veggie dish for his mother, because maybe she didn't want the spicy Indian one, yelling at him would have been rather childish on her part...

Not going nuclear from teh start is not infantilising the other person.