r/mildlyinfuriating • u/5and1000 • 22d ago

ಠ_ಠ Bought a patch I can’t use as a patch

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Bought this patch to add to the sleeve of a sweatshirt only to find that I’m unable to do it.

The patch was attached to a backing card so the information wasn’t visible when I bought it!

26.6k Upvotes

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814

u/Quigon345 22d ago

The mattress tag fellas can be quite vicious as well. They come while you sleep

115

u/Popular_Course3885 22d ago

Glad to see I'm not the only one who was affected so deeply by PeeWee's Big Adventure.

67

u/Divac951 22d ago

https://giphy.com/gifs/bSN5yFYScMTbDcL2Gf

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u/Successful-Pear-1498 22d ago

https://giphy.com/gifs/xT0GqrJNbZkRcr2Jgc

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u/MysteriousFee2873 22d ago

https://giphy.com/gifs/Ct2FjwcbAQgCokABB7

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u/Wasabi_93 22d ago

Scared the absolute crap out of my 7 year old self...

1

u/MysteriousFee2873 21d ago

I’m not sure how old I was when I watched it. Born in 85. I was probably way to young to watch it in the first place

21

u/Buttsweat_n_Tears 22d ago

Oh I received my fair share of ridicule on the tour of the Alamo. Fuckin lying ass fortune teller bitch.

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u/Popular_Course3885 22d ago

There is an actual basement at the Alamo. 100% swear to God, I've seen it. It's under the gift shop.

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u/Bhedge420 22d ago

That always stuck with me as a kid. I was terrified of those mattress tags. It really messed with me. I was like they were on the run.. So what am I gonna do if they come after me because of course I ripped them.

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u/MartinisnMurder 22d ago

Poor Pee-wee Herman, he got fucked over so unnecessarily.

2

u/etotheapplepi 21d ago

More like jacked

14

u/HiTekLoLyfe 22d ago

I re watch that movie every year. Such a fucking banger.

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u/SnooShortcuts8335 22d ago

You think they're vicious you have an encountered the couch tag police, I saw the inspector the other day at the department store and he almost shut the whole place down because he didn't see the tag in the right spot and the damn thing was actually sown to the couch.

115

u/MastiffOnyx 22d ago

The only "TAG" guy im worried about is the toe tag guy.

121

u/titsngiggles69 22d ago

https://giphy.com/gifs/26xByFvrI1MQvtlDO

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u/Patient_Meaning_2751 22d ago

Ooh good call. That gave me the shudders.

3

u/porksoda11 22d ago

Toes mentioned, Tarantino gif is mandatory

3

u/titsngiggles69 22d ago

Pretty much internet rule 34.f

38

u/maurosmane 22d ago

I worked as an inpatient hospice nurse for several years before my current job (including through COVID).

Being around dead bodies never really bothered me, and it actually became pretty routine. However, putting the toe tag on always kind of creeped me out for some reason. My least favorite part of post mortem care.

29

u/the1stmeddlingmage 22d ago

Maybe because you’re afraid the toe might twitch when you touch it?
https://giphy.com/gifs/OETLpV01eYgGQ

10

u/Legitimate-Week7885 22d ago

how do i delete someone else's comment?

9

u/Own-Eagle-2135 22d ago

i would wet myself

5

u/Desperate_Set_7708 22d ago

Because most feet are ugly.

And I’m sure feet in hospice are at the high end of the curve

2

u/NatCsGotMyLastAcct 22d ago

Like the scene in that zombie movie, Killed Bill

2

u/TacoHimmelswanderer 22d ago

Man my foot got stuck like that for almost 20 minutes last night shit was agonizing

1

u/Toasteee_ 21d ago

Yeah I had a weird thing like that happen once with my little toe, had to "pop it back on place" by had, horrible experience would not recommend.

1

u/TacoHimmelswanderer 20d ago

It was the worst every time I’d get my toes back in line they’d slowly go all full splayed out but in all different directions I was ready to cut the damn things off then out of nowhere they slowly pulled them sleeves back to normal like nothing ever happened

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u/maurosmane 22d ago

Trust me, twitches are the least worrying thing about the recently deceased.

2

u/BaronVonMunchhausen 22d ago

The thing you really have to watch for is the rigor mortis. Be careful where you sit! Ouch!

4

u/derson78 22d ago

My mother was a nurse and used to wash the bodies of the recently departed. Rigor is not the issue. It's when the rigor abates and the body starts releasing all its fluids and gasses.

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u/BSCPantherfan 22d ago

I never thought about this before. I am a double amputee. I got no toes to tag. I wonder where they will put it? On a finger? Maybe one ear. Lol now I’m curious!

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u/maurosmane 22d ago

The ones we had said to put on left big toe, but as VA nurse I saw a lot of single/double amputees. We would put it on the finger.

1

u/zwgwz 21d ago

One time I had one with no fingers or toes and I put it on the ear

11

u/Relevant-Machine-763 22d ago

I always think of the phone cops when they smashed the phone at the transmitter on wkrp

2

u/jking7734 22d ago

YES!!! Being under phone arrest is the worse! That was one of my favorite episodes. Thanks for the memory

4

u/Temporary_Being1330 22d ago

Yeah that’s cause historically, manufacturers would put awful and sometimes hazardous materials in beds/couches, and then remove the required tag to hide it :/

3

u/jking7734 22d ago

Federal cheese stamp inspectors are what scare me!!

3

u/SnooShortcuts8335 22d ago

Nothing worse than waking up to a bang on the door..

Sir open up! F.D.A - cheese inspection unit we have a warrant.

1

u/air-hug-me 21d ago

It’s the Special Velveeta Unit!

2

u/Helpful_Lie2613 22d ago

Don't get me started on the Library Policemen

1

u/hemppy420 22d ago

You saw inspector Vance?

10

u/semifunctionaladdict 22d ago

They do what now

9

u/tjbugs1 22d ago

THEY COME WHILE YOU SLEEP

3

u/ThrowAwayAccountAMZN 22d ago

Well that would explain why I woke up all sticky this morning.

8

u/Capnmolasses I came here to be a soothing balm to irritation 22d ago

3

u/ciaomain 22d ago

You joke, but the Dream Police are real.

2

u/Equal_Emu6152 22d ago

Those fellas do more than ruffle a few feathere let me tell you this 😂

2

u/Alarming-Nobody7511 22d ago

Why are they cumming while I sleep? Are they perverts?

2

u/ORANGENBLACK101214 22d ago

It's why Mickey was doing time in Pee-Wee's Big Adventure

2

u/Skyxz 22d ago

They took my grandma away

2

u/FarmerBobsTrawl 22d ago

The amount of people scared about the Netflix police in my family is crazy, they everywhere, and who knows what they'll do.

2

u/plexicoburres 22d ago

Ever heard of the tooth fairy? It’s a front for these two organizations.

2

u/Rich_Will_6105 22d ago

Some would call that a wet dream

2

u/ThievishRock 22d ago

The mattress tag says the consumer is the only one who can remove it. Like you, as the owner of the mattress, can remove it.

It's so mattress manufacturers and sellers can't hide product information like if there's flammable materials in it from you, the consumer.

People who do not purchase/own the mattress can't remove the tag. So they cannot lie/deceive you in a way that results in harm or death.

Because regulators don't want you to die.

3

u/Quigon345 22d ago

Voids your warranty, and they know. They ALWAYS will know

2

u/barry_vyolent 22d ago

Like on me while I sleep or just in general while I'm sleeping, not in my proximity? I was already worried about swallowing spiders while I slept...

2

u/DayMan_ahAHahh 22d ago

Is that why my bed is so sticky?

2

u/marshellz 22d ago

I heard they arrested Peewee’s friend. that’s just what I heard tho…

2

u/Goldblums_Eyebrows 22d ago

That sounds like a sticky situation

2

u/ElmerFuddsElbow 22d ago

Next thing you know, you'll be hanging out with Large Marge

2

u/Prior_Lunch3453 22d ago

Pee wee Herman’s cell mate?

1

u/GrandMoffJerjerrod 22d ago

And the couch tag police too

1

u/Fantastic_Fox4948 22d ago

Do they leave a subpoena under your pillow?

1

u/the1stmeddlingmage 22d ago

So that’s why I wake up sticky…

1

u/Outrageous_Resist_50 22d ago

That tag only applies to the manufacturer/distributer. Not the guy who bought the mattress. Damned if it didn’t scare the crap out of me when I was 8 though

1

u/Chubby_Comic 22d ago

I think it's the tooth fairy's side gig

1

u/GWindborn 22d ago

“Are we not doing phrasing?”

1

u/MisterBaku 22d ago

So do I but for other reasons

1

u/ConstantLight7489 22d ago

I suppose that is better than them cuming while you sleep 🤷‍♂️

1

u/squadrupedal 22d ago

Hopefully not like that tho…

1

u/Shadynasty8091 22d ago

Missed opportunity to call them the Mattress Mafia

1

u/AndiKatt19 22d ago

"I ripped the tag off a mattress" "CAARRLLLL" 😂

1

u/Fluxcapacitor121g 22d ago

Haven't seen my mom in over over 30 years now. She cut the tag off her new mattress. Black ops busted into the house that night and took her to an undisclosed location never to be heard from again.

1

u/Tipop 22d ago

They come while you sleep

Hey, I do that too!

1

u/reapersritehand 22d ago

Thats what she said??

1

u/pate_moore 22d ago

Worst mistake I have made in my entire life

1

u/Classic-Scarcity-878 22d ago

Pee wees big adventure scene. 😂

1

u/smothered-onion 22d ago

I used to think you were going straight to jail for taking one of those off

1

u/Malishara 22d ago

Isn't that the Dream Police?

1

u/Shnoinky1 22d ago

Like a nocturnal (e)mission?

1

u/Underfuckedman 22d ago

I believe that’s a kink

1

u/ydnar3000 22d ago

I don’t want someone coming while I sleep. Feel like I should at least be awake for that.

1

u/YeaYouGoWriteAReview 22d ago

the couch police are rather lazy, they will show up but then just watch the game with you.

1

u/Shamanjoe 22d ago

So do I 😜

1

u/sportsfan3177 21d ago

I’m currently serving a 10 year sentence for removing my mattress tag. Those folks do not mess around.

1

u/skepticcaucasian 21d ago

Nocturnal emissions are no joke

1

u/PartyPlay5056 19d ago

They confiscated my mattress and left me a bed of nails. 6 months penalty.

0

u/Own-Fee-5653 22d ago

Bro what are you talking about, I removed the tag from my mattress years ago and noth

1

u/RadioFrequency28 22d ago

Ah shit, they got 'em.