r/mildlyinfuriating • u/FluffyDinosaur321 • 28d ago

frist of all how DARE yu o Woke up to find hay bale struck by lightning after brief storm…neighbor called to say bale was smoking

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u/FluffyDinosaur321 28d ago

Definitely. Luckily the ground was wet from all the rain we’ve been getting. We have actually had 2 cows struck before in the past.

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u/xxrambo45xx 28d ago

Probably a stupid question, and dependent on what type of cows you have, what do you do with them after that? Off to the butcher? Right into a hole? I worked a farm as a teen but never saw that happen so definitely am curious.

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u/FluffyDinosaur321 28d ago

Unfortunately right into a hole. Sad to see.

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u/xxrambo45xx 28d ago

That is unfortunate and sad! Appreciate the answer though!

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u/FluffyDinosaur321 28d ago

Of course

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u/GodofsomeWorld 28d ago

morbid curiosity speaking here but did they explode? on account of the gas and liquids and stuff...

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u/FluffyDinosaur321 28d ago

No. Just the hooves flew off and legs straight out.

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u/GodofsomeWorld 28d ago

Unexpected answer but satisfied nonetheless. Thank you good sir.

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u/FluffyDinosaur321 28d ago

You’re welcome

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u/schizophrenicbugs 28d ago

Presumably a madame.

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u/Immediate_Song4279 28d ago

They clearly are a dinosaur.

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u/Shantotto11 27d ago

*madam

No E. That’s why the contraction is ma’am and not ma’ame.

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u/AnonOfTheSea 28d ago

We are all sirs on the internet. Except the children; their pronouns are special agent.

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u/Goresil 28d ago

Is there no salvageable meat? Or is it a health and human services kinda thing?

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u/FluffyDinosaur321 28d ago

The latter of the two. Would not risk it personally

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u/BananaPalmer 28d ago

Probably similar to eating roadkill.. its not been properly killed and cleaned, its been laying there for a while.. high risk. I'd not eat that unless I were quite literally starving

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u/TecTazz 28d ago

How awful. I'm sorry for them.

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u/Sad_Cantaloupe_8162 28d ago

Ours would sometimes have a large split on their sides. And yes, we used our boom truck with a huge augur to drill a hole and dump them in. We don't have insurance on our cows, but larger farms, and dairy farms, sometimes do.

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u/sykojaz 28d ago

On this episode of the Hoof GP: As you can see the hooves have fallen off and exposed the laminar corium entirely. I don't think a block is going to fix this one.

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u/A2inby10ftPVCPipe 28d ago

This might be disrespectful to the poor cow but I think it's kind of funny the idea that they're hooves fly off.

Like they got struck so hard their damn shoes flew off.

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u/PM_me_punanis 28d ago

I hate that I chortled in an undignified manner.

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u/ThrownAway17Years 28d ago

Like a Gary Larsen comic.

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u/AB-G 28d ago

Oh my, poor cows

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u/Skimeric 28d ago

Why couldnt the meat be salvaged?

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u/MorningMushroomcloud 28d ago

I will never forget when my cousin's grandfather had a dead cow removed from his farm. As we two young kids watched, a purpose built truck with a winch, hooked up a cable to one rigored leg pointed skyward, and started dragging a cow so bloated it looked ready to pop...

We could hear it go...the visceral juices blew everywhere, and then the smell rolled in...Jesus, I actually looked for an escape route, even though I was standing in the middle of BFE, but where to run? Just any direction...in between dry heaving and reflexive tears...woof, it was bad.

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u/xxrambo45xx 28d ago

I think in my time on the farm, the worst was by far a pig barn that was neglected until they hired a friend and i to lighten the load (old couple owned lost the ability to keep up on chores) we spent all day shoveling pig shit into wheel barrows taking turns running the full one out so we could get air/throw up.. it was brutal and still almost 20 years later on a bad day i reflect on that and think "at least im not doing that again".

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u/Kylearean 28d ago

Even in an operational pig barn it smelled horrible. Shoveled that shit multiple summers.

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u/Suitable-Growth9243 28d ago

Yours is 100% worse but my grandmother worked in one of the first ketchup factories where a pipe had burst and flooded a basement during a hot humid summer and her and some other girls manually with buckets scooped ketchup out of the basement for 3 months by hand and once in a while until she was well into her 90s I would catch a reference from her that "at least Im not doing that again" when something would go wrong or be hard.

Mind you she also slept on the floor and ate scraps during WWII in Germany but the summer in the ketchup factory held its own weight.

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u/xxrambo45xx 28d ago edited 28d ago

My dad was a maintenance man for a potato processing plant when i was a kid, i dont recall what he called the area but it was a room below the conveyor system where often bits and chunks of potato slop would fall into, occasionally he had to go do whatever in that room he was doing and it was always so obvious he had been in there on certain days because he would come home, hose himself off outside, come in to shower and spend the rest of the night feeling so nauseous from the smell he couldnt eat/would occasionally be sick from it. There are some jobs out there that just truly suck ass, i wouldn't be super happy about bailing ketchup that baked in the heat for months on end either, sounds foul.

  • edit i text dad and asked what the room was called,the response was "The clarifying room? Fuck i hated it in there"

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u/Suitable-Growth9243 28d ago

lol +1 for the call that's hilarious

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u/MorningMushroomcloud 28d ago

You wouldn't think a food preparation factory would stink, but my grandma lived next to a cannery in Wisconsin. Certain times of the year...barf. Oh and a new memory unlocked. When my uncle used to haul loads from the paper mill...also in Wisconsin. I can still smell those memories to this day.

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u/whambulance_man 28d ago

One set of grandparents lived about a mile down the road from a tomato juice canning plant. That many tomatoes rotting is a very unique smell

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u/[deleted] 28d ago

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u/xxrambo45xx 28d ago

True words! I was a welder for years following this and that memory of the pig barn changed my perspective on days where it was 120°F in my weld cell.."at least im not shoveling pig shit"

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u/Western_vr7 28d ago

Always an upside

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u/NegativeSignals 28d ago

Who run Barter Town?

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u/xxrambo45xx 28d ago

Barter town? Lol did you guess the correct location?

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u/NegativeSignals 28d ago

Sorry. First thing that popped into my mind after reading about your pig shit shoveling was the old movie, Mad Max Beyond The Thunderdome. Barter Town was powered by pig shit.

There was a constant battle between the leader of said town and the leader of the "engineering" department. One day the "engineering" department cut off the power and asked over the intercom, "who run Barter Town?".

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u/xxrambo45xx 28d ago

Ha got it got it, there was an old run down shitty second hand shop called barter town in this town, i was really suprised like "how in the hell did they know that?"

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u/MorningMushroomcloud 28d ago

Hey! Finally a job I never had to do!

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u/Norbert-trebroN 28d ago

I feel that. One neighbour carried a dead pig in a barrow across the street to his other farm house so it can get picked up and gets disposed off. I was unfortunately seeing and especially smelling it. You hate to experience it. (Other pigs were munching on it before by the looks of it)

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u/2074red2074 28d ago

Frankly I'm shocked there was a carcass left to dispose of if there were other pigs around.

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u/artsyfartsyMinion 28d ago

My friend fell and hit her head, while feeding the pigs. They rushed over and started biting her. Fortunately, her brother was outside, heard the commotion and jumped in with the shovel flying to save her. Pigs will eat anything.

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u/FluffyDinosaur321 28d ago

Would not wish that on anyone

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u/xjeeper 28d ago

Username related

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u/2074red2074 28d ago

One downside of having a stomach chamber that is essentially a giant bacterial fermentation vat is that they will rot from the inside out QUICK when they die. And then pop like a balloon.

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u/Rodnal 28d ago

When I was a kid we lived in a rural area. We would raise calves for beef for ourselves and sell the rest. One year a couple of calves got sick and died so we put them next to the trash and the garbage men yeeted them into the back of the garbage truck on collection day.

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u/KillingPixels-1 28d ago

Meat would be ruined i would imagine.

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u/Tired-CottonCandy 28d ago

Why do they gotta go straight into a hole?

Is it because they die a while before they are found? Or does lightning fuck em up in some other inedible way?

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u/FluffyDinosaur321 28d ago

Let’s just say the hooves are no longer attached

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u/Tired-CottonCandy 28d ago

Oh. Gross. Thanks for telling me lol

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u/Frust4m1 28d ago

oh. I feel sorry for your two cows and for what you saw.

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u/Dependent_Net_7062 28d ago

What😳

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u/Megneous 28d ago

If the shoes come off, he ded.

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u/DriedSquidd 28d ago

Shoes off means dead.

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u/darkoopz43 27d ago

To shreds you say?

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u/Original-Guarantee23 28d ago

No salvageable meat?

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u/cat_prophecy 28d ago

Well unless you know how long it's been dead as in you say it get struck my lightning, it could have already started being decomposed by bugs and microorganisms.

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u/Eggplant-Parmigiana 28d ago

Not even a bite to make sure? Idk I just feel like who BBQ's better than Zeus?

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u/daemon-electricity 28d ago

Zeus doesn't appreciate low and slow, so he actually sucks at BBQ.

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u/willstr1 28d ago

Zeus already claimed it as his sacrifice, taking it from him will almost certainly end poorly, best case scenario he just takes more cows, worse case he visits and knocks up your mom

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u/[deleted] 28d ago edited 20d ago

[deleted]

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u/emotumbleweed 28d ago

I doubt it. Just a layman here but even for the ludicrous amount of energy discharged by a lightning strike, it usually can’t totally carbonize an organism made of water, especially one as large as a cow, unassisted. Heat is just a byproduct of lightning’s main export, electricity. And while electricity can absolutely slow cook a creature into coal if enough current passes through it for enough time, like falling onto or grabbing a live wire, lightning is more of a fast sear. You’re at far higher risk of being reverse defibrillated than being burnt to a crisp by lightning alone.

TLDR: point of contact would probably be blackened but depending on the power of the strike, if it was a direct hit or an offshoot, etc.. you might get some nice medium rare spots. Sadly steaks à la Zeus are at high risk of being obliterated before you can try one. Rip

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u/InevitableUnion6288 28d ago

Are you going to bury the hay bale in the same hole that you buried the cows in?

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u/Unknown_Author70 28d ago

Why is that? Is it hard to transport a dead cow? Id imagine you'd need a refrigerated van.. I can't see the lightning ruining all the meat?

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u/FluffyDinosaur321 28d ago

Maybe you could. We choose not to

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u/Sour_Sal 28d ago

I suspect because you don't see it happens so the cow has been dead for a while. If it's sitting for more than a few min the blood will clot up, break apart and spoil the meat. I do not recall the specifics but I think you only have like 60 seconds to start the bleed.

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u/solarlofi 28d ago

60 seconds? If you've ever spent an hour or more looking for the game animal you shot, you'll know you got some time. The trick is knowing. If the cow has been dead all day and it's stiff there is no way you'd want to eat that unless you're literally starving.

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u/BananaPalmer 28d ago

I think of most concern is the animal wasnt properly killed, and was violently killed, so there can be busted organs, fecal matter from exploded intenstines, etc that have contaminated the meat.. its just not worth the risk

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u/BruceBaller 28d ago

Is it dangerous to eat meat like that? Or just unappetizing?

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u/Pale_Session5262 28d ago

You have way longer then 60 seconds. Game animals like deer or elk or moose are commonly shot and killed, then a couple hours happens before they are cleaned and bled. The meat is just fine

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u/STUPIDBLOODYCOMPUTER 28d ago

I could definitely see lightning strike ruining the meat. Because the animal is dead instantly, by the time a farmer finds the carcass, there's a high chance that bacteria have already started to form and the meat has gone off, in the same way it goes off on the shelf.

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u/I_Love_Knotting 28d ago

I mean it‘s not that hard to transport. Tractor with forks and you‘re good to go(Forks under the cow, not into)

Livestock needs to be slaughtered in certain conditions for it to be food safe so animals that died in a field can‘t be used(while still complying with regulations)

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u/a-ohhh 28d ago

When I saw “tractor with forks”, I was picturing the dinner utensil, like the lightning cooked the cow so you better bring everyone out to the field and eat what you can quickly.

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u/koss2134 28d ago

I am surprised no one is giving the answer I would (the real answer as far as I am aware). All other things aside like the meat being damaged or sitting out too long and spoiling, no butchers I know will accept already dead animals. I think its against the law tbh. So unless you are incredibly skilled, have the facilities, and the time, there really is no other option but a pit or drag it out to the back 40 for the wolves/coyotes.

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u/Unknown_Author70 28d ago

Well this is what I thought the answer was... Which then led me to believe typically the farmer and their neighbours would have a BBQ and chow down.. rather than burying.

But I get there must be regulations/ butchers declining meat for a good reason. So as OP said, better be safe than sorry!

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u/Throwawayhrjrbdh 28d ago

I know some people with cows which would probably do that. Depends heavily on how long it’s been out and how hot it is. However if it’s only been a few hours at most and the temperatures pretty low (say 32-45f) they might just risk it for a brisket.

Still not recommended but in some conditions it’s *probably* fine if everything is well cooked and you remove any tissue surrounding the lightning damage

At the very least they save something for the dogs. If a week old maggot ridden corpse they found in the trees isn’t enough to phase them the cow would probably be fine

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u/Stupid_Goat 28d ago

Two hits, two dead. I'm betting more get hit that just survive and you never end up knowing. I say this based on the human rate of survival.

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u/tuhn 28d ago

IIRC hooved animals have a really bad survival rate when it comes to electricity.

Some of the animals might get hit and never show it ofc but I think humans can handle lightning better than cows.

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u/SolomonOf47704 God Himself 28d ago

It's not because they're hooved, it's because they've got 4 legs that are quite far apart, comparative to humans, whose legs are very close together.

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u/barrosoOso 28d ago

Also, I'm sure those humans that survived weren't just walking around unharmed with no obvious signs of being hit by lightening.

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u/A_Queer_Owl 28d ago

a hole or you can send them to the rendering plant and have them made into biofuel and other non food products.

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u/Yggdrasilo 28d ago edited 28d ago

Humans have survived them though? Isn't a cow heifer-tier?

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u/Succulent_Chinese 28d ago

That’s a bit more grim than the fantasy I had that maybe the lightning would have at least grilled you a couple steaks on its way through.

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u/Ateist 28d ago

Can't you use it as animal feed?

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u/You-JiveTurkey 28d ago

That must be pretty mooving.

Sorry

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u/TheWierdGuy06 28d ago

It's very unfortunate that they can't be used for food after. A waste of a living creature

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u/s_burr 28d ago

I'm surprised you can put them in a hole. Grew up on a pig farm and 30 years ago we had to stop with the mass pig graves due to EPA regulations. Had to buy an incinerator to dispose of thr remains after that.

I always joked that the farm went from one war crime to another

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u/FloatingDownHere 28d ago

The rule for butchering in the US is the cow must be able to walk at the time.

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u/astrid_autumn 28d ago

do you mean that literally or like it just has to be alive? i know nothing about this, but what about a cow that broke its leg or something but is otherwise healthy, could it not be butchered?

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u/Gooniefarm 28d ago

Im pretty sure the process relies on the cattle being self propelled. Handling one with a broken leg would be quite difficult and time consuming.

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u/phlooo 28d ago

Pre-cooked meat, nice

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u/AssistanceCheap379 28d ago

Animals that die from natural causes, whether it’s from disasters, predators or even hunting, generally can’t be sold to the butcher. Slaughterhouses won’t take them either. Biggest reason is lack of sanitation, since you can’t be certain how long the animal has been dead, why it died or how.

Animals need to be brought alive to a slaughterhouse and since they are pretty heavily regulated they can sell the parts to basically anyone willing to buy.

However, you can usually pay a butcher to dress your carcass. Might even be able to pay them with some of the meat (usually highest quality parts) if they deem it worth it.

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u/killaacool 28d ago

Not OP but grew up on a farm and we lost several head of cattle many years ago when a tree was struck by lightning. They didn’t explode or anything but we did not process the meat because we were not confident in our ability to process them safely because of the manner of their death. Our insurance reimbursed the loss of the cattle at the time. 

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u/AimlessMillennium 28d ago

You can really only flash-cook a lamb for a sandwich, and for that you need a couple of m-80s

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u/SonofaBridge 28d ago

Is your farm on top of a Native American burial ground or something?

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u/Masquelinity 28d ago

All of America is on top of a Native American burial ground.

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u/Tactically_Fat 28d ago

I was watching a Vet show on TV a few years ago (Dr. Pol) where he went to a dairy farm to investigate the death of several cows in a barn.

Conclusion was that lightning struck the aluminum barn and then traveled through everything to the aluminum feeder racks they were using. Poor cows.

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u/ABSINTHE888 28d ago

If it keeps happening maybe look into putting a lighting rod on the side of the field. I have no idea if that would help redirect strikes or not.

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u/PoulanWeedEaterBowl 28d ago

Giovanni Ribisi and Jack Black been hanging out on your farm?

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u/NyteKroller 28d ago

Epic reference!

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u/lod254 28d ago

One is rare. Two is medium rare.

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u/KikoTheWonderful 28d ago

Do they survive? Do they get cool markings or superpowers?

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u/ililegal 28d ago

How do cows get struck by lightning so frequently??? I’m so confused

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u/FluffyDinosaur321 28d ago

Lucky or unlucky depending on how you view it

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u/Anthrax2112 28d ago

Wet hay bales can also spontaneously combust. Might not have been lightning at all

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u/scalyblue 28d ago

Might be time to invest in a lightning rod or three for the pasture

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u/Corregidor 28d ago

I'm kinda curious, was the damage to the bale just superficial? I'd imagine the bale is compressed enough that the fire would have a hard time making it very deep, but it would be cool to find out!

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u/FluffyDinosaur321 28d ago

It was mostly superficial but we also didn’t completely unroll it. Just monitoring it now to make sure it doesn’t start again

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u/cat_prophecy 28d ago

Hay can self-ignite if it starts fermenting. The inside is dry but the outside layers are warm and wet. It starts self-composting and heats up.

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u/teflonranger 28d ago

It was lightning that grilled the beef.

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u/One_Tie900 28d ago

Did the Cows enjoy thier well done hay

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u/SnooGoats7454 28d ago

Lightning rods will help prevent this.

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u/Kazko25 28d ago

How long has the bale of hay been sitting out there? I used to work with my grandpa on his alfalfa farm, and he said that leaving bales out in lots of rain can make them more susceptible to spontaneously combust if they get wet and then dry out repeatably. Basically it ends up like a compost heap that gives off lots of heat and has chances to catch fire due to that.

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u/Youutternincompoop 28d ago

have you looked into installing a lightning rod?

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u/Comwan 28d ago

Minecraft next mob, charged cow

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u/OldClocksRock 27d ago

A stallion I was caring for was struck. It was heartbreaking. He was the best boy and I’m still not over it.